TeaCookiesBears Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) Why do people Seem to be so judgmental? I was reading a homeschool thread when I ran across a term called "homeschool impostors" but I also saw similar postings about people on the net too and in my travels. What struck me as odd was for many the sheer judgmental attitudes and opinions they had on some peoples homeschool methods. While I admit that some had real stories of "non schoolers" a great many had opinions that did not seem to hold water. Here are the questions I found myself asking. 1. Some complained that the parents did not finish curriculum and were behind in those curriculum. Ok, so, do you know why she has not finished a curriculum? 2. The kids are behind academically. Did you ask why? They are not doing enough academics. I always see them around doing this or that and are not doing enough. Ok, why? Could they do it at night when all has settled down? 3. On this thread not one person took into account that some people could be going into a period of "deschoolong". Couldn't a family have decided to deschool,just want everybody to find their grove or just be a family without academic stress for a while etc. 4. The kids are not reading. Did you ask are there any reasons such as disabilities? 5. Not many took into account the peoples hardships such as disabilities, finances etc. Did anyone take into account any circumstances the appearance of being bad homeschooling parents? I want to clear up once again that there were & are legitimate stories of true cases where parents are abusing the hs laws. In some cases some hs parents stated what they saw found it to be true & others stated that on the surface these families children appeared not to be learning but found otherwise. Some offered help to the parents who wanted to do the right thing but became overwhelm and need a little help. I think people who abuse the system or children make good homeschool parents look bad:glare:. I am just commenting about the people who commented on things about others they had no intimate knowledge about. I just wanted to present another side to the story to think about :001_smile:. I know a great many of us have ran into people like this from people who know nothing about homeschooling but never from actual homeschooling parents but according to my girlfriend who has done this longer than me she has seen this on occasion:glare:. Edited August 12, 2011 by dyana17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived, but I don't really understand your post. ETA: Do you have a specific question? I'm not trying to be snarky, but I'm lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived, but I don't really understand your post. ETA: Do you have a specific question? I'm not trying to be snarky, but I'm lost. I agree. It's hard to know the context of the original comments this way (paraphrased.) I think you would be better off just posting in those threads instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeaCookiesBears Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Ok, I just added a question. Sorry I just wrote fast because I had just had my last straw with one yesterdays while I was out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived, but I don't really understand your post. The OP is just expressing her concern about the ever present judging of homeschoolers by other homeschoolers. I'm new here, but I already saw plenty of threads about this very subject. It does seem that if a child is not reading / doing math at some magical age, it is implied that this child is not homeschooled 'the right way' and the parents are a disgrace to all the 'proper' homeschoolers. There are many ways to homeschool. There are many ways to achieve excellence and success. There are many ways to define excellence and succes. Each child is different. Many homeschoolers are ostracised enough by those who don't approve. It hurts to be judged, in many cases severely and ruthlessly, by fellow homeschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I think people who abuse the system or children make good homeschool parents look bad :glare:.[/size][/font] Unfortunately, I know a few who fall into the "abuse the system" category, and it makes me angry because 1) it's unfair to their kids, who are going to have a tough time succeeding in life, so 2) they're going to become dependent on the rest of us to support them, and 3) that makes the rest of us look bad, as you said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Why do people Seem to be so judgmental? It is human nature to be judgmental. We constanly observe, evaluate, and form opinions, often unsconsciously. Why so many homeschoolers are malicious in their judgment of fellow homeschoolers, is the real question. My guess that many are insecure in their decisions, and need constant validation. Comparing oneself to others, and judging for the perceived differences, is one way to achieve validation. There are other ways, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Why do people Seem to be so judgmental? Because it is a relatively small community (homeschooling in general/this forum in particular) and people in small towns/communities really have nothing better to do than to mind everyone else's business. As the saying goes; just pay your bills, everyone else will mind your business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 While I agree we ought not to judge, there is a place for expressing the opinion that it's not okay to just do nothing. I don't personally know any homeschoolers that "do nothing" all day, but I do know a few who I think are not holding the bar quite high enough for their kids to stretch. Keep in mind this is a CLASSICAL homeschooling board, and the folks here (for the most part or at least partly or at least a lot of them:lol:) are classical homeschoolers and like a rigorous approach. I'm coming from the mindset that one should get the work done. There are plenty of threads where someone will say "ohhhhhhh, my kid isn't at grade level or won't write a paper or won't do their math!" and tons of people chime in with "It's okay.... take some time for him to mature". I also think that unless you have a child with special needs or learning differences you are in no place to have an opinion about how hard it must be to homeschool them or what allowances you'd have to make. I don't have special needs kids, nor are they geniuses, so I tend to not post in the special needs or accelerated forums. I'm sorry you've been hurt. Just try to 'be the duck' and let it roll off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Unfortunately, I know a few who fall into the "abuse the system" category, and it makes me angry because 1) it's unfair to their kids, who are going to have a tough time succeeding in life, so 2) they're going to become dependent on the rest of us to support them, and 3) that makes the rest of us look bad, as you said. Only those who generalise blindly would conclude that a few who 'abuse the system' make the rest of homeschoolers look bad. I generally don't care for those who generalise blindly. They are in the minority anyway. Why worry about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 My guess as to why people are so judgmental concerning homeschooling, parenting, their relationships with family, work, and a number of other things is because they are insecure in the things they are doing. My MIL takes great offense that we don't raise dd as she would. She takes it that her way of doing things is wrong. Her way isn't necessarily wrong, but for our family it isn't right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Because it is a relatively small community (homeschooling in general/this forum in particular) and people in small towns/communities really have nothing better to do than to mind everyone else's business. . Wouldn't classical homeschoolers be way too busy with rigorous work for this forum to be as hugely popular and insanely fast moving? Just sayin...:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeaCookiesBears Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) I admit that my thing was a little long so I cut some things out. I realize it was a little long but sometime when you get the writing you just write :D. I was posting because I ran into a mom who was taking about someone she clearly did not know but was nasty about it. Maybe I have bad luck but I have seen this quite a bit. I'm just saying people should just stop and think before going on about peoples whom they really don't know about. I find this offensive because govt want to make it hard for hs parents as it is without people giving them ammunition. @sunflowers I am glad you understood what I was trying to say:001_smile:. Edited August 12, 2011 by dyana17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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