SilverMoon Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 What's acceptable funeral attire for kids going to an LDS funeral? My FIL is going downhill quickly. I have a week before we leave, and I most likely won't be able to shop when we get there. We're not LDS, but 99% of hub's family is, and we're expected to know the routines and traditions. The kids will be noticed. Other than a few babies, we may have the only kids attending. (DH's siblings had kids young; he's the baby of the family and started later.) I can do nice black shorts for the older boys, and white shirts. We're coming from the scorching Phoenix area and I think everyone will understand them not having long pants. I'm guessing the black tie is a must for our oldest, but how important would it be for the 7yo? The baby boy, 11 months, only has brightly colored camp shirts. I'm not likely to find dress clothes in 18 month size this time of year, but I'm going to make a valiant effort. What's a good guideline for the girls? They're 3, 5 and 11. Any help will be greatly appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 (edited) Your 7 yo son doesn't need a tie. How old is your oldest son? If he is over 12, a tie, long pants, and button-down white shirt are necessary if you don't want him to stand out. For the girls, dresses (or tops and skirts) that come at least to the knee and have sleeves (cap sleeves are fine, but no tank tops). No pants on anyone female. The baby will be fine as long as he's got clothes on. :grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear about your father-in-law. I'm trying to think of anything else that might trip you up about an LDS funeral service. I haven't been to a ton of funerals, LDS or other. ETA: These guidelines are what I'd use if I didn't want my kids to stand out. There aren't clothes police at the doors. Edited August 5, 2011 by Melinda in VT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PIE! Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Your 7 yo son doesn't need a tie. How old is your oldest son? If he is over 12, a tie, long pants, and button-down white shirt are necessary if you don't want him to stand out. For the girls, dresses (or tops and skirts) that come at least to the knee and have sleeves (cap sleeves are fine, but no tank tops). No pants on anyone female. The baby will be fine as long as he's got clothes on. :grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear about your father-in-law. I'm trying to think of anything else that might trip you up about an LDS funeral service. I haven't been to a ton of funerals, LDS or other. ETA: These guidelines are what I'd use if I didn't want my kids to stand out. There aren't clothes police at the doors. :iagree: Sorry for your loss :grouphug: The above is pretty much the norm. LDS people tend to dress at funerals the same way they would for church. There is no need to dress in dark colors or black, unless that's just what you feel like wearing for the day. The younger the kids, the more leeway they tend to have. These are just suggestions so you wouldn't worry about standing out. But if it's difficult, don't worry too much about it. Just going and showing love and support is much more important than your fashion choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Cornelia Snook Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Just wear what you consider Sunday best. Sleeveless dresses for your girls are fine if that is what you have. I see lots of little girls in sleeveless dresses in church on Sundays, and no one bats an eye. Black pants are not necessary, either. My boys have been to funerals wearing khaki, school-uniform-type pants (with white shirts and ties). But if you have polos, that is fine, too. Travel safely. I hope this sorrowful time can come with some comfort as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 My family is not LDS, but Pentecostal and fairly conservative in such things - the general guideline is boys under 10 can wear nice shorts & shirt, 10 and up should wear what the men wear. Girls should wear dresses or skirts that cover the knee at least. They are a little more flexible about sleeveless shirts because of the climate here, but they should be high necked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 What Melinda said is right on, but I have been to quite a few LDS funerals, and no one looks down on non-LDS people if they are dressed differently. Its understandable and they are so thankful for the support. We dont worry about wearing black to a funeral. Regular church clothes is fine. Khaki's and knit shirt with a collar would be fine for the boys if you dont have white dress shirts. Sleeves on the girls is good, but I do know lots of LDS people who dress young girls/toddlers in sleeveless even on sunday. It will be held in a chapel, most likely. Babies/toddlers/children are very welcome but it is customary to step out with them if they get noisy, either happy or sad. The foyer has speakers for sound as does the mother's lounge(like a cry room, but only for women, in case some women feel more comfortable breastfeeding there). Non-messy snacks and quiet toys are welcome to help them make it through the meeting. I am sorry about your father in law. Wishing your family peace. Oh, and be prepared to enjoy the "funeral potatoes" :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Sunday Best is what I usually see people wearing. Even most of the adults just wear their usual Sunday clothes -not black expressly unless they already own it or feel the need. Skirts and dresses for the girls - nice shirt or button down for the boys -the shirts don't have to be white - anything "nice" is acceptable. A tie is not needed for either of your boys. I would probably get your older boy to wear pants definately - the younger one could get away with nice shorts if it is especially hot. Nobody cares what a baby wears :D I've been to many LDS funerals where non-members attended wearing jeans, singlet tops, strappy dresses - females in pants - If you are not LDS you can wear anything you deem appropriate - you will not be thrown out for dressing "incorrectly" :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverMoon Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 Thankyou! You've been very helpful. This information is all probably in my husband's brain, but I don't want to add more to his plate. I'm thrilled to hear no one will give a hoot about the baby, though straps on girls never crossed my brain. That's what I was going to wear, but I have something else I'll pack instead. I'm not concerned with being booted from the church, but more wanted to make sure I wasn't ruffling feathers of particularly sensitive relatives during this time. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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