More doggie questions - woes.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Well, we have had our 18 month old foster labradoodle, Bear, for 2 weeks. They have not had space at the shelter for us to bring him back for his evaluations, so he is not up for adoption yet. I am in such a muddle.

 

While Bear is a wonderful dog - sweet, affectionate, people and dog friendly, he is a handful. We have to have eyes on him at all times or he will cause trouble (we are now calling it EOB - Eyes on Bear.)

 

He has chewed our braided rug. I know we were planning on replacing it, but it wasn't in bad condition before. He has destroyed two pairs of shoes - my favorite walking sandals and a friend's shoes - on the day she was planning on leaving for a trip to Europe. He likes to steal the computer mouse, so he has nearly ruined mine (it often thinks the "right click" button is down.) and he ruined my son's. The only chew toys he has not destroyed are nylabones and Kongs. The kicker was he just ruined my cell phone - , which had fallen out of my pocket into the couch. We was left alone only long enough for me to go answer the phone. Whenever he is downstairs (lower level family room of our split level house), if we are not paying attention to him (he is only allowed there if we are there), he tries to go after our new rug which is still encased in plastic. I need to find another place to store it until we are ready to redo our living room.

 

Since this past week was County Fair week and my kids were frantically finishing their 4H projects, he may not have had as much attention (but he surely has had lots of walks - four to five miles a day.) We are decompressing from this past week and want some time to relax, which is not happening with this dog.

 

My heart is heavy about this. I really love this dog. He really is a great dog. We have been wanting a dog for so long (okay, at least 3 of us have been wanting one). I am not allergic to him. He walks great on leash. He doesn't jump on people. He is usually a joy to be around. BUT, the responsibility is wearing on me. The "what do we do with Bear?" questions every time we have something we want to do. How long is reasonable to keep him crated? How do we keep him from chewing everything in the house? How do we keep him mentally stimulated? I think he has some ear issues (I will be calling the shelter today about it and they may send me to their vet.) I wonder if some if his chewing frenzy is related to ear discomfort.

 

To tell you the truth, I am not sure if I am up for this. I have school planning to do and I have barely made a dent. My son is apply to colleges this fall and I am so far behind on getting my course descriptions and other common app sections done. I am falling behind on housework and other projects (and I am not a great housekeeper to begin with.) (Granted, the 4H judging did take up a tremendous amount of my time.) How am I going to incorporate this dog into our routines when I really need my kids to concentrate on getting school work? We have some academic challenges ahead and I am not sure how to manage.

 

Because he is not ours, I feel like I am in no man's land. We have some excellent resources for dog training, but don't want to spend the money until we know he is ours. I would love to have him run around outside, but we do not have a fence and I cannot go forward with any plans there until he is ours. Dd would love to do agility with him (he is smart and fast) but can't really begin with that until he is ours and we have a way of containing him outside.

 

But, is it fair to adopt him? Is it fair to our family? Is it fair to the dog? My heart breaks to think of him spending even a night in the shelter - we volunteer there. While is it a good place run by loving people, it is not a home. I'd hate to see the stress of that place do anything to mar his sweet nature. His brother who came up on the same transport was there yesterday when we were volunteering. I could see behaviors in that dog that I would hate to see Bear take on. Dh thinks he would easily be adopted (and part of me thinks so too.) But, it just breaks my heart for us not to have him. I've really fallen in love with him. We need to have another family meeting to discuss this. We had one on Sunday. Ds17 who never wanted a dog, is softening. Ds15 likes him, but is trying to stay neutral. Dd11, who has been wanting a dog for so long, kept thinking of all the negatives (as she was crying.) Dh kept talking about all the negatives. All I wanted to say was "Good thing there was no trial period with all of you because, at the time, I had moments where I didn't think I could do it." I cried myself to sleep that night.

 

So, do I need a pep talk? Or do I need a reality check?

 

UPDATE: You have all been so helpful. I settled down after I figured out the cell phone thing and talked with the people at the shelter. We did get some medicine for his ear infection so his chewing frenzy has abated a bit. Dh took him out in the back yard and let go of the leash. He just stayed close by. Then he tested him by playing fetch - tossing the ball a little further each time. He so far has not strayed out of the yard. We still keep the leash on him when he is out, but we can give him a little more freedom. We discussed things as a family and everyone but ds17 was in favor of adopting him. After much discussion and trying not to make ds feel like the bad guy, ds decided to acquiesce to what the rest of us wanted. We are going to adopt him!!!

 

Now I feel we can move forward with what we need to in order to make life livable. I need to carve out time specifically for school planning tasks, but I will set a timer and give him a good chew toy for that time if no one is available to take him out. We will address the yard situation (whether it is an invisible fence or a bigger fence. We will get some training to work on other behaviors.

 

Now, all we need is for him to pass his evaluations at the shelter. We have to take him back tomorrow and they keep him for 3 days so he is acclimated to that environment. Then they do the checks. Everyone is sure he will pass because of our experiences with him. I am so excited.

 

I am sure I will have lots more questions, but we will be getting resources in place.

Edited July 31, 2011 by dirty ethel rackham

[Mama Geek]

:grouphug:

Only your family can decide if you want to put the effort into raising and training a dog. All of the problems you are talking about can be dealt with and resolved, but it takes time, patience and work.

 

We took in a 3 1/2 month old puppy when dd was about 3 1/2 months old. We don't want to make an issue of it but the dog is only 5 days younger than dd. Then dh took a contract job out of state which left me with the dog and the baby. There were times I thought I was going to pull my hair out. He did spend more time in his crate than out of it on several days. 10 months later things are a lot smoother and the dog is a good dog, but it is still work.

[Impish]

No real answers for you. If it were our family, I'd be praying about it.

 

To me, the worst thing that could happen is that you (or other family members) would end up resenting Bear in the long run. Not good for anyone in that situation.

 

Big :grouphug:. Not an easy place to be. :grouphug:

[AK_Mom4]

Our pups are 6 months old now and are big enough to eat off the counter top with all 4 feet on the floor. Their preferred chew toy is laptop power cords, but I am sure cell phones would be right up their alley. They have eaten 4 power cords so far. :glare:

 

Our pups spend their time either out in their dog yard or within arms reach of someone all.the.time. In the house, they are usually on their leashes or within reach of my chair and it's my job to make sure they have something chewy available every moment. And I change out the chewy things a couple of times a day (cheaper than power cords!)

 

If the only real problem with the dog is being destructive and you WANT to keep him, I would step up the Bear Watch for 2 weeks and see if that helps. Keep him leashed to you or a kid all the time when he is out of the crate so he can't pick up stuff and chew it on the sly.

 

I do understand what you are going thru. Pups really are lots of work. I would probably run some temporary fencing in your yard just to give you a break once in a while.

[RoughCollie]

There are a lot of people on the board I linked below who have fosters and rescue dogs.

 

If you copy and paste your post there, you will likely gets lots of advice, much of it from dog owners who have had similar experiences.

 

http://www.dogforums.com/

[dirty ethel rackham]

Thanks so much, all of you. RoughCollie, that dog forum is what I have been looking for. Which forum should I post this in?

[annlaura]

Without the fenced in yard, does Bear have a place to run off leash? A dog park or similar?

[dirty ethel rackham]

Without the fenced in yard, does Bear have a place to run off leash? A dog park or similar?

 

We do have a dog park, but we have to get a form approved to make sure he is current on his vaccinations. I'll ask at the shelter. He doesn't have good recall so I am wary of this. So, as of right now, he doesn't have any place to run off leash. I desperately want to change this.

[annlaura]

We do have a dog park, but we have to get a form approved to make sure he is current on his vaccinations. I'll ask at the shelter. He doesn't have good recall so I am wary of this. So, as of right now, he doesn't have any place to run off leash. I desperately want to change this.

 

That's hard. I didn't have a yard with my first dog, but did have parks where she could run. With my current dog, even after a really long walk, she needs to be able to run top speed for a bit. And while you certainly can't just sit around waiting for him to grow up, all of my dogs and my siblings' dogs have hit a sweet spot at about 2yo. And to lighten the mood - only 2 pairs of shoes? What a good dog! ;) It's a hard decision. :grouphug:

[Teachin'Mine]

:grouphug:

 

What are they waiting for in releasing him for adoption? I think that the changes you're considering will make a world of difference for you and for Bear. A fenced backyard, maybe with a doggie door to allow him to go in and out on his own, would give him the ability to burn off some of his energy. The walks you're already doing are great and need to continue even with access to the backyard, but the yard access will certainly help. And a good trainer can do wonders with you and Bear. He's so lucky to have gotten you.

 

As far as keeping your shoes and rugs in tact for now, I'd utilize the crate whenever you're out of the house. He's old enough that his bladder should be fine for up to 8 hours or so, but obviously the shorter the time the better. I think it's great that you're looking into getting his ears checked and looking for anything that may be contributing to his excessive chewing.

 

I'd really be pushing the shelter to let you adopt him so you can put in the fence and begin training asap. Aside from the chewing :tongue_smilie:, he sounds like an awesome family pet. :)

 

ETA: If you really plan on getting a dog, whether it's keeping Bear or getting a different dog, you may want to just go ahead with that fence now. No matter what dog you get you'll be glad to have the fencing. Just a thought. : )

Edited July 29, 2011 by Teachin'Mine

[torikei]

Labs are puppies for longer than most dogs. I would recommend Puppies for Dummies written by Sarah Hodgeson. She addresses all the issues you discussed. I really like her tethering technique. It produces a well behaved animal that enjoys being w you. If you google her, I'm sure you'll find a website.

 

Labs tend to get better at the two year mark but can remain puppies until they are three years old. This dog sounds like he could be an extremely rewarding addition to your family, but it's definitely going to be work. :D

 

Good Luck

 

Tori

[nynyny]

We rescued a border collie who led a terrible life for 2 years. After a week with this bundle of energy, we wondered if we would make it.... she ran us ragged and was into continuous mischief...she constantly jumped thru our screen door, chewed apart the cat door, herded the kids and the cats, etc..

She is now 10 years old and has enriched our lives so much. But we still can't have a screen door....:)

 

Having a large area to run is a must for a happy pup and family.

[Luvmy3kids]

We do have a dog park, but we have to get a form approved to make sure he is current on his vaccinations. I'll ask at the shelter. He doesn't have good recall so I am wary of this. So, as of right now, he doesn't have any place to run off leash. I desperately want to change this.

 

 

What about a neighbor or friend who has a fenced back yard? Maybe you can work it out with a couple friends/neighbors that you can use their backyard for 30 minutes daily??

 

Having a change, any change, in life is a struggle for many people. Things will get better! Just keep thinking of the positives that a dog will bring and not so much of the negative. When we got our two dogs, it was a huge adjustment. I don't do well with change in routine, etc. However, we molded ourselves into a new routine and flow of the day. There were lots of times we were asking ourselves "WHY?!" But, now they are very much a part of our life. The unconditional love they have for us is AMAZING. IDK, we just love them so much and they love us.

 

HTH!!

[Beth in SW WA]

I'll pray God gives you wisdom. It is a HUGE decision. It took us 19 years of marriage to finally decide (and be brave enough) to get our little dog. It's a decision that affects the whole family -- but especially YOU, mom, since you are the pack leader. :)

[black_midori]

Sounds like a dog who needs a yard - I think a lot of your problems would be fixed fairly quickly with the ability tp roam free and wild but safe a portion of the day!! :) I can't even imagine having a dog with energy without a safely fenced yard to turn it out in!!