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Young boys and being rough in the house


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HELP! Honestly I'm so tired of this. They are boys. They are nice boys. They are rough boys. They do get outside and run, and chase and ride bicycles. But inside they run and chase and climb and roll and and and....

 

I have tried everything I can think of to try and instill the idea of respect for our property. The 9yo knows better and when he is on his own he is wonderful. When he is with the 5 yo, he loses initiative to play respectfully and to listen to me. He is more concerned with making his brother laugh or getting away from chasing brother etc. I am with my boys ALOT. I need to be able to have them be on their own at times without dents in the walls.

 

Talking with them, punishment, things taken away, nothing has helped so far. I know they are still young, but the 9 yo should be able to ignore the younger one or deter it at this point I think.

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As far as I can tell, 9 is probably the earliest they start to observe the "destruction is not an activity" rule. And that's only because you say your 9yo can act normal.

 

No advice, but we have an open ended date when I will no longer have to tell them (multiple times a day) they may not jump on the furniture. Until then, the dog is allowed on the couch, the children sit on the floor, and my curtain rods hang at a 45 degree angle. :glare:

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For me, I never tell my boys not to play rough. I always just give them an alternative, like that's fine, but not in here, take it outside or to the basement (we have a basement playroom where nearly anything can be destroyed). Then, if they do cause damage, we deal with that as an individual thing with its own consequence (though I would certainly mention that they caused the problem by roughhousing in the wrong place).

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While my boys have relatively calm natures, roughhousing in my house gets pushups, jumping jacks and chores. I will not put up with that inside my house. If I had a basement where we had room for these shenanigans without worrying about holes in the walls or furniture tumbling down around them, I would be okay with indoor "boy" play. But, I don't - so outdoors it is. Even in winter, there are things they can do outside.

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What? You didn't know your couch cushions were to be landing pads when they push each other off the dining room table????? My son and his friends have always been very rough. It drives me crazy. It was around 9 that my son could make those decisions as well but it has been a long road, and to a degree I expect it to continue. I have found that constant reminders of "couches are for sitting on" help. Not buying good furniture helps. Making them do the repairs and pay for them helps. Allowing them to be hurt occassionally helps because without experience to teach them they can't seem to hear.

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There is no roughhousing in the house. They may act however they like outside, and if they start roughhousing inside, they get kicked out. If for some reason they can't go out, then they get sent to their beds to calm down.

 

I don't care if they're rough, but they don't need to do it inside where my nerves can't handle it.

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