lovelaughs_times_three Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I am having a sad/hard time and really wanted to share with my new found friends on this board, in hopes of finding someone who understands. I know several women in my area that homeschool. We are friendly everytime we see each other, but it doesn't really go past that. Then I had my inner circle, my posse! A group of really close girlfriends that I could share this journey with. A group of friends that were heart to heart. I had 3 really close friends and one by one, in just a matter of a couple of months, they have each quit homeschooling and started working. I am happy for each of them. I understand each of their decisions. I support them and feel that they have each made the best choice for their family....but..... I feel sad, lonely, abandoned and even :confused:angry??:confused: I know it is so irrational. I know they are still my friends and it is irrational and even unfair how I feel...and yet, I still feel it! :sad: When I talk to them now, I feel somewhat disconnected from them. They have time for lunch with their Dad (without the kids), they talk about work and paychecks, they talk about school events that I somehow find myself wishing my kids could attend. They now live in a world where they don't worry about whether their kids are getting enough face-time with friends. They are about to spend a summer without the nagging worry that they didn't get enough "school" done before they took the break. They are developing their skills and talents in a world where they get recognition and paid for their efforts. They get long breaks in the daytime from their kids so they don't have to feel like a "bad mom" who can't understand why sometimes she just wants to plop the kids in front of the TV and lock the bedroom door. I miss talking to them about curriculum, about how I'm going to teach Math, about the frustrations, joys and loves of homeschooling... I think it is sometimes hard to be a homeschooler. I feel like, in some ways, we are a "fringe" group. Sometimes we are marginalized and viewed as slightly strange by others who don't understand. I felt so strong with my posse, facing the world together, supporting each other in this sacrifice and adventure. Now I feel alone. And I find myself pouting.... I find myself feeling like they abandoned me...gave up the fight and left me fighting alone.... Don't get me wrong. I still love homeschooling. In fact, I feel more committed to it than I ever thought I would when I first started. I love being with my kids, I love learning with them, I love what I've seen it do in my family...etc...I could go on and on. I'm beginning to think that this is just one of those things about homeschooling that I didn't see at first. I am thinking that I have to get used to somewhat of a revolving door of friends. Friends always change in our lives, maybe even more, though, in this kind of community. We are living outside of what others consider "normal". It is a sacrifice of our lives and time to do what we do. Maybe it should not surprise me that people will not be as constant in a community based on such things. But...still...I pout..... Anyone out there understand???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 yep... btdt. I understand the hurt...the isolation. My 2 best homeschooling friends went back to work 2 years ago. Still havent found anyone to compare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Pout away but in the end you need to develop new friends. It really hurts. I had home schooling friends move into friendships and push me out. It's never fun! I'm sorry! My friend now is a ps mom, go figure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelaughs_times_three Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 Thanks for the :grouphug:s and empathy!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Yes, I understand. I've had to adapt to the changing friendships, have lost some friendships (nothing major, they just atrophied away) and I've forged new friendships. I also come to this board a lot because frankly, the homeschooling ranks do tend to thin out once your kids get into middle school and esp. high school. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelaughs_times_three Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 I've noticed that as well. Was that hard on your kids, too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I've noticed that as well. Was that hard on your kids, too? We've had to start to find our friends in other places like taekwando and the Y. It's not so much that the previous friends don't care about my kids anymore as that they are so busy and their schedules just don't mesh with ours anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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