High ability/low motivation?

[Melinda]

How do you give a kid like this what they need academically? My oldest is one who is very capable, but has no desire to be accelerated in any way.

 

I have been trying to challenge him and limit the repetition, but I do want him to get some practice with things before moving on. He feels that once he knows something and can demonstrate that, that he should never have to practice it again.

 

My second child also has high ability, but has the motivation to go along with it and enjoys school.

 

If you were teaching this child, where would you go from here? Part of me says to continue on this track and the other says to slow *WAY* down and let him relax. He told me yesterday after school that it wouldn't matter how much or how little was expected of him that he doesn't want to have to do school, period.

 

He is at the end of second grade - will be 8 in June. Here is what we have done/are doing this year.

 

Math -- Will finish Singapore 3B by the end of this week.

 

Language Arts

Spelling -- Will finish level 5 of AAS by the end of this week.

Cursive -- Will finish grade 4 cursive (HWT) by the end of today.

Reading -- We finished grade 8 of the Pathway Readers sometime around

October/November and he has been doing lots of free reading

since.

Writing -- Halfway through IEW Student Writing Intensive A-started in Feb.

Grammar -- Finished FLL 4 in the first half of the school year.

 

Social Studies -- Did a Maryland history/geography class with co-op.

Did SOTW 2 this year.

 

Science -- Will finish REAL Science Odyssey (Space/Earth) by mid-June.

 

Art -- I have slacked here because we do a lot of art projects with the SOTW stuff. Definitely need to improve on this one. Kids love the program, but we are STILL on level 1 (oops).

 

Music -- We use the musicplay program and are behind there, too. We finished the 1st grade level and then kind of fizzled out.

 

PE -- Lots of active, outdoor play. Riding lessons, swimming lessons (and in summer - swim team). Loves to ride his bike, run around, play sports.

[Melinda]

Also wanted to add that right now, the only things we are working on are cursive, spelling, and math. We will be starting back up with science next week when those three things are done.

[SunshineMom]

Just wanted to chime in that I sooooo understand this! My dd7 almost 8 is driving me a little crazy right now. I know I am not reaching her at her level (but I am working on getting some things lined up despite some major family changes) and it shows in the sighs, and boredom looks:( Yesterday, I asked her if she thought school was challenging her and she said without hesitation, no! Later, I think just for shock value (and reinstate her position), she recited a poem she had memorized several months ago. She's got a fantastic memory, when she wants it. She becomes lazy when unchallenged. I am going to start asking her to work more independently with Plato Science (online). I really think she needs more than I can personally give her. I just don't have the time to put something together and monitor for I have a dd9 special needs kiddo too. I am anxious to hear what advice you will get here.

[Embassy]

Just my perspective :)

 

Because he is ahead of the curve you have some wiggle room. Maybe you can take a year and do interest led studies. Let his interests determine what he studies. Ask him what he wants to learn about and help him find a way to learn it. Maybe that will ignite something in him. He can also go as deep as he needs to challenge himself.

[Embassy]

Just wanted to state that I know of someone like this. He is now an adult. He went to public school his whole life and was always told that "if he would only apply himself he could..." Truth was, he didn't care. He didn't care if he received an A or an F. But this person was highly motivated to learn about what he was interested in. Today he is one of the most knowledgeable people I know. I think an unschooling approach would have fit him very well.

[Stacyandtherugrats]

My eldest two are accelerated. The eldest has a desire to learn things that interest him but will learn the other stuff - to a point - and some not at all. I do not push the subjects that he doesn't want to learn as long as they aren't crucial. It gets us no where in the end. I don't want him to 'hate' learning either.

 

If the subject isn't crucial, skip it for a while. Let him learn what he wants to learn and go from there. He may change his mind in a year or two about being 'lazy'.

 

IMHO, the early years are about learning the basics and learning how to 'learn'. If art doesn't interest him and he has no desire to learn it - so what? History? Who cares. Do we really expect our young children are going to remember what year William of Normandy came to England? He has plenty of time to learn other things.

 

Looking at your schedule too, I would slim it down a tad. Some children can get overwhelmed and give up - even the accelerated ones. Figure out which subjects are important to you as a parents, insist on those and let him help pick out a few more. For our family, Latin and Math are staples - no argument allowed. I let them know often that Latin teaches so much more than Latin and that it allows them to not have to learn grammar separately. They love that. For them, it is like 'skipping a subject'. I then let them help choose other things to learn. Sure, I 'lead' them a bit but they feel like they are having an input in their learning and it helps them 'want' to learn.

 

Just a few scattered thoughts. Just woke up a little bit ago so my head is all jumbled! LOL

 

Stacy and the rugrats

[joannqn]

I thought you were talking about my kids until I got to your kids' ages. My unmotivated student is going into 7th grade next year and my motivated student is entering 5th grade. I have thoughts of sending my 7th grader and 4 year old to school next year so I can enjoy homeschooling just the motivated one. Then I read threads like the "Can you sue a school for malpractice" and I'm back to homeschooling all of the kids until college.

 

I don't have any answers yet. I think I've resigned myself to the fact that she'll just have to deal with it and do the work assigned. She seems to have accepted that fact too.

[radiobrain]

I thought you were talking about my kids until I got to your kids' ages. My unmotivated student is going into 7th grade next year and my motivated student is entering 5th grade. I have thoughts of sending my 7th grader and 4 year old to school next year so I can enjoy homeschooling just the motivated one. Then I read threads like the "Can you sue a school for malpractice" and I'm back to homeschooling all of the kids until college.

 

I don't have any answers yet. I think I've resigned myself to the fact that she'll just have to deal with it and do the work assigned. She seems to have accepted that fact too.

 

I was thinking the exact same thing! My about to be 7th grader is completely unmotivated. He doesn't even care to play board games, as that is too much work!:001_huh: He has always been a bare minimum type of kid, even though he could be ready to do high school/college work, if he would apply himself. It makes my husband insane. I keep waiting for him to find some sort of inner drive, but so far... teaching him is like pulling teeth.

 

My about to be 6th grade is totally self motivated, perfectionist, etc. etc. but seems to have some sort of language processing issue I need to address.... he could be doing some serious work, if he can get over this hump. I love teaching him...except when he gets angry as I have said something in a way that is the opposite of the way he sees things.

 

What I am trying to say, is that it is not uncommon. I wish I had some advice, and I wish I had some answers myself! I hope someone chimes in who has had one of these kids and says "Oh yeah, I had one of those! They sorted it out by XXX year and are now wonderful adults!". Wishful thinking. ;)

 

Another thing though, when I think about this son, I realize that a lot of his personality quirks that are excruciating now, are actually wonderful traits to have as adults. Independent thinking, being able to question everything not just blindly follow, and making decisions that only deal with his interests...these are pretty good attitudes in life. I don't know, it's early and I am perpetually frustrated by this kid.

 

Good luck! :D

[....]

Your son is about the same age as my son. It's very easy for 8 yro dudes not to care about schoolwork or academics. We've really got to be careful so we don't kill their love of learning. I'd rather my son fall back a little in his curriculum and enjoy learning...as opposed to pushing too fast and hating school. Have you read Boys Adrift? The author talks about why boys are unmotivated and hate schoolwork. It was eye-opening for me and I really backed off that year.

 

Also, I had each of my older kids sit down with me and tell me "exactly" what they want to study this year (in addition to my plans, of course - evil laugh). I let them pick out some stuff online and they were so excited. My 9 yro was picking out dissections kits, DNA lab kits, cow eyeball kits :eek:...

[Storm Bay]

How do you give a kid like this what they need academically? My oldest is one who is very capable, but has no desire to be accelerated in any way.

 

I have been trying to challenge him and limit the repetition, but I do want him to get some practice with things before moving on. He feels that once he knows something and can demonstrate that, that he should never have to practice it again.

I learned the hard way with my eldest that repetition just wasn't necessary in some subjects, so I dropped it. The hard part was the arguing and strife that went with the repetition. The learning part was when we came to something in math that she hadn't seen for at least 6 months. I was going to make her learn it again, but decided to let her show me that she remembered it, and she did (she'd been in ps 6 months prior to this time.) After that she did minimal repeating in math. Eventually I let her do the test that came every 5 chapters and just had her go back and do any math lessons that taught something new.

 

Now that she is in high school she still needs to do far fewer practise problems than most dc which wasn't an issue until she went back to ps last fall (as a sophomore.)

 

OTOH, I have other dc that do need more practise for some things. I find that demonstrating mastery has been the best solution to this.

 

My second child also has high ability, but has the motivation to go along with it and enjoys school.

 

If you were teaching this child, where would you go from here? Part of me says to continue on this track and the other says to slow *WAY* down and let him relax. He told me yesterday after school that it wouldn't matter how much or how little was expected of him that he doesn't want to have to do school, period.

 

He is at the end of second grade - will be 8 in June. Here is what we have done/are doing this year.

 

Math -- Will finish Singapore 3B by the end of this week.

 

Language Arts

Spelling -- Will finish level 5 of AAS by the end of this week.

Cursive -- Will finish grade 4 cursive (HWT) by the end of today.

Reading -- We finished grade 8 of the Pathway Readers sometime around

October/November and he has been doing lots of free reading

since.

Writing -- Halfway through IEW Student Writing Intensive A-started in Feb.

Grammar -- Finished FLL 4 in the first half of the school year.

 

Social Studies -- Did a Maryland history/geography class with co-op.

Did SOTW 2 this year.

 

Science -- Will finish REAL Science Odyssey (Space/Earth) by mid-June.

 

Art -- I have slacked here because we do a lot of art projects with the SOTW stuff. Definitely need to improve on this one. Kids love the program, but we are STILL on level 1 (oops).

 

Music -- We use the musicplay program and are behind there, too. We finished the 1st grade level and then kind of fizzled out.

 

PE -- Lots of active, outdoor play. Riding lessons, swimming lessons (and in summer - swim team). Loves to ride his bike, run around, play sports.

I'd let him go as fast as he likes or else delve a lot deeper; it's very frustrating to be forced to slow down if the work isn't challenging. My middle one did two grades when she was in grade 2, but then decided she'd rather play more than go that quickly. However, I let my eldest work as fast as she wanted to. My eldest slowed down when puberty started (that takes many years in my family, so she's been going through it for 6-7 years so far; it lasts longer than just hitting menache).

 

I thought my dc would be like me and want to go fast all the way through school (had I been allowed, I'd have easily done at least 2 grades per year for years) but they aren't highly motivated to go quickly because they think it's too much work:glare:. OTOH, they have learned a lot of cool things on their own:001_smile:.

[Jen500]

Is this your 'math and science loving' son? I would spend a lot more time exploring these areas with him. And I mean no offense, but most of his LA curricula don't seem very engaging to me for a gifted/accelerated child...(I have tried some of them with my dc). That was just my first impression when I read your post, so just disregard if it doesn't apply in your case.

 

At your son's age, I had my boys make a list of all the things they were interested in, and we pursued those interests.

[Melinda]

Is this your 'math and science loving' son? I would spend a lot more time exploring these areas with him. And I mean no offense, but most of his LA curricula don't seem very engaging to me for a gifted/accelerated child...(I have tried some of them with my dc). That was just my first impression when I read your post, so just disregard if it doesn't apply in your case.

 

At your son's age, I had my boys make a list of all the things they were interested in, and we pursued those interests.

 

Yep, this is the math and science kid. I am not offended at all and would love some suggestions for more interesting/engaging things.

[HoneyFernDotOrg]

Welcome to my world, too! Totally common myth that gifted kids are motivated - untrue.

 

I agree with the poster who said you have a little wiggle room, as he is ahead. Maybe work with him to design a curriculum that hits all the bases but focuses on his interests completely (I had one student complete the coolest work on Legos, including building a working Lego camera and studying photography to take some incredible pictures, researching the history of the company and designing the next big Lego thing, developing a marketing plan. There were other tasks, too - this is a sample).

 

I also believe that patience and persistence are key. Unmotivated gited kids who are pushed either push back hard or form little dents like a ball of PlayDough. Whatever he says he is going to do, make sure he follows through; don't accept junk just because that's what he feels like giving you, but make sure that he sees why what he is doing is valuable. I know that sometimes we study things because there is value in the study, but with adolescents, it is important that they understand the application. If you can't figure out why something matters to study, put it off and come back to it. It will still be there. :)

[SnegurochkaL]

Welcome to my world, too! Totally common myth that gifted kids are motivated - untrue.

 

 

I agree!!!!!!

I have a 8 years old who is gifted and "lazy" at some point. She doesn't always want to work hard whether it is working on a particular skating element or plowing through her math assignments. How to make my child to pay attention to details? is my everyday question. Details are not important to her:(

 

 

P.S. When my daughter was 6 years old I had a "point system" where she was earning her points for getting A on tests, working on problems,reading extra curriculum stuff, so by the end of the week she would have around 100 points to redeem. She could exchanged collected points to different "presents" with particular values, but sometimes she would collects them to redeem a grand prize "computer game" or something she really wanted. I am thinking about going back to this system this coming school year so my youngest child can participate in fun of learning.

Edited May 17, 2011 by SneguochkaL

[Guest]

I can totally understand your standpoint. My 2nd son is the gifted one and he has zero desire to do anything above the absolute bare minimum. Maybe it is the age.