Friend's daughter was complemented by teacher...for sitting still

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Back story: I have a friend who has a daughter four months older than my ds#1. We are homeschooling, they are depending on their (well thought of) pre-school to prepare her for kindergarten. When they first started her in the program 1 1/2 ago, her mother answered my questions and said that yes, they would be teaching her letters and some phonics, counting, etc. And indeed they have taught her to color and paste, color in the lines, write her name, and count to 10 (she has trouble going to 20.). I baby-sit her at least once a week, and she always asks to "do school" with us. Because we have included her I know that while she can write her name and tell you how to spell it, she can not look at the individual letters separately and tell you their name. She cannot tell you the names of letters when they are in alphabetical order (she can sing the song.) When counting actual items, she frequently skips/misses and when corrected, cannot continue from the corrected item (me: "No, this one is four, keep going.") Instead she has to begin again.

 

I asked her father (who was homeschooled for several years) if he felt that the pre-school she was going to was preparing her well for kindergarten. He responded proudly that she was meeting all their assessment tests well, and that when they were at the school talking to the teacher, another one came up and told him how impressed that she had sat still while she was waiting, even though there were no other children around. :001_huh:

 

 

Question: is this the average experience of those who send their children to pre-school?

 

(Thank you in advance for those who read this and will respond. We had considered sending ds to pre-school for social reasons, but I really don't want him to regress...)

[sunshine_librarian]

I think you might just be noticing natural differences between children and how they learn/process things. My dd5 is homeschooling kindergarten and she gets distracted and has some of the issues you mention. She "can" count to about 90, even by tens, but if she starts showing off, "because it's so easy mommy," she almost always wants to start at one again.

 

As far as the sitting still, well, we're still working on that one here :001_smile:.

[The Governess]

Hey, I would be impressed if one of my kids sat quietly and waited while I was having a discussion with a teacher. :D

 

I purposefully put both of my dds in non-academic preschool programs. They went to get their hands dirty with messy projects and experiments, make friends, sing songs, and have fun. I taught them phonics and math at home. It was a great combination for us. But I also don't think that kids who are sent to kindergarten without phonics skills have been done a disservice. Kindergarten programs usually start at the very beginning to account for wide variations in the student's ability levels.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Sounds fine to me - it's the school equivalent of being praised for good manners.

[Danestress]

maybe triple, if people could just learn to sit still. Sit. Be. Breath. Stay quiet. Focus. Release. Notice.

 

While I would not call this a primary goal of early childhood, I think it's a very excellent quality and one that is vastly under-rated in America. As a mom of all boys, I am also fine with a child this age by squirmy and unable to sit still. It's all good. One of mine could, two could not, at that age.

 

Part of raising young children is honoring the unique qualities of that child. So if one child is really curious about being able to identify letters of the alphabet, that's great. If another child has boundless 'jumping in puddles' energy, also great. If another child can still, how lovely. Some people never learn to do that.

 

I would not think it is necessary to send a child to preschool for "social reasons." I also don't think it's necessary to have any particular letter or counting skills so young.

 

 

 

 

Back story: I have a friend who has a daughter four months older than my ds#1. We are homeschooling, they are depending on their (well thought of) pre-school to prepare her for kindergarten. When they first started her in the program 1 1/2 ago, her mother answered my questions and said that yes, they would be teaching her letters and some phonics, counting, etc. And indeed they have taught her to color and paste, color in the lines, write her name, and count to 10 (she has trouble going to 20.). I baby-sit her at least once a week, and she always asks to "do school" with us. Because we have included her I know that while she can write her name and tell you how to spell it, she can not look at the individual letters separately and tell you their name. She cannot tell you the names of letters when they are in alphabetical order (she can sing the song.) When counting actual items, she frequently skips/misses and when corrected, cannot continue from the corrected item (me: "No, this one is four, keep going.") Instead she has to begin again.

 

I asked her father (who was homeschooled for several years) if he felt that the pre-school she was going to was preparing her well for kindergarten. He responded proudly that she was meeting all their assessment tests well, and that when they were at the school talking to the teacher, another one came up and told him how impressed that she had sat still while she was waiting, even though there were no other children around. :001_huh:

 

 

Question: is this the average experience of those who send their children to pre-school?

 

(Thank you in advance for those who read this and will respond. We had considered sending ds to pre-school for social reasons, but I really don't want him to regress...)

[Virg]

I was a PK teacher and what you have noticed is very normal for many children. :)

[susankenny]

I'm confused. What is the problem?

 

I think the child's skills sound very good & the fact that she can sit still definitely is preparing her for kindergarten. The child sounds like she is doing fabulous. She's just a tiny preschooler.

 

Susan

[msk]

There are lots of different kinds of preschools. My oldest is finishing up a "developmental" one that focused on social skills and did essentially no academics. It was exactly what she needed, and we loved it. There are other preschools in our area that describe themselves as much more "academic." And there are Montessori ones, and religious ones of all kinds, etc etc. The "results" pretty much depend on the kind of preschool you choose.

[RanchGirl]

I'm not sure what the average experience of those who go to preschool is. One of mine went, the other didn't. I don't find a compliment on sitting still to be inherently wrong, it was probably noted because it's not a trait commonly seen in 4 year olds!

 

It sounds like these folks are happy with their preschool choice and you're really happy with homeschooling -- that's awesome isn't it? :)

[kolamum]

I haven't read the other answers so, I might be repeating.

 

I will say though that many preschools don't teach ABC's, prereading, numbers, etc. They were asked to stop because children who went to preschool were "too advanced" in Kindy compared to those who didn't and it was a bore for those we'd been to pre-k.

 

Honestly though, I thought that simple kinda stuff was taught at home anyway even if you did send children to school, but maybe I was wrong?!