Success or failure

[Embassy]

Do you critique your own teaching methods by looking at how your children enjoy learning the topic at hand? Do you judge whether something is a success or failure based on how well your children show interest in learning?

 

Children naturally enjoy certain subjects over others. What about the ones they don't enjoy? Do you believe you should just learn the material and move on because a child can't be expected to like everything or do you attempt to instill an interest in the subject?

[Snowfall]

I'm always trying to make things interesting, even if she doesn't particularly like something. However, I try not to take it personally or label it a failure if she doesn't love it.

[MerryAtHope]

I'm always trying to make things interesting, even if she doesn't particularly like something. However, I try not to take it personally or label it a failure if she doesn't love it.

 

This is how I approach things as well.

[Lori D.]

It took me years to realize that I naturally have *always* had a very high love of learning, which increased when we started homeschooling -- unfortunately, our DSs have a very LOW interest in anything to do with schooling -- Note that I did not say they have a low interest in LEARNING. What I have found is that *THEY* associate formal learning with school. They dislike school, therefore, (in their minds) they don't enjoy learning.

 

Needless to say, that made our first years of homeschooling disappointing and frustrating especially to me -- I thought it would all be so "delight driven" -- "Look ,children! Isn't it wonderful having grammar (or math facts... or spelling... or...) in our own home! Anything and everything can be educational!" :001_rolleyes:

 

Don't get me wrong -- I DO think it is important to use materials that will best connect with a student, especially if they have a learning issue or really strongly need to have their first exposure to a topic from a very specific learning style. (I have a strongly visual-spatial learner, and it took a LOT of work and research and trial-and-error to find math, spelling, and writing programs and techniques that work for him.)

 

And I also think it is important to have fun and not have everything so formal. In fact, that's where I often see our DSs enjoying learning, when it's in an unstructured, informal setting -- just fooling around with kits or math manipulatives, field trips, games, just-for-fun read alouds, shows like Bill Nye, Mythbusters, Nova, etc.

 

BUT... if I had continued to TRY to make school entertaining, I would have stopped homeschooling years ago, feeling I was a failure. I finally just had to accept that our DSs just don't like school. AND, it is not my job to try and make them enjoy it. Whether or not they feel entertained, or "enjoy" learning is their choice -- not my responsibility. My job is to provide them with the materials that will best enable them to learn; to provide individual help as needed; and to make sure as their parent that I equip them beyond academics for real life. And that's where I see the success or failure coming in -- not did THEY choose to learn anything or choose to love to learn -- but did *I* daily choose to do the best I could in those above areas.

 

 

Here is the episode that helped illuminate the situation for me: One day the 3 of us were playing a math-oriented game and laughing and having a great time. Suddenly, my younger DS looked up with an expression of extreme suspicion and said, "Is this SCHOOL?!!" and I laughed and said, "Why? Will you stop having fun if it is?" And he said very fiercely, "YES!" So I said, "We're having fun, so it must be a game!" And he relaxed and we all went back to having fun (and probably learning a little something in spite of ourselves!).

 

 

Ultimately, the best thing for all of us was when I stopped trying to make school entertaining and "just got on with it". And you know what? After a few months, they came to me every once in awhile and would say, "We really liked ________; could we do that again sometimes?" -- Affirmation that they DID enjoy learning -- they just didn't want to admit it. LOL!

 

Now, 11 years into homeschooling, I try to schedule what I think would work best with each student; I try to include some books and activities I think they would especially enjoy (and since they are in high school, I do solicit input, though I make the final decisions); and I try to make sure we just enjoy some things for fun and NOT write a report on it or make a diarama or check a box off on a schedule -- and smile to myself when I see them learning in spite of themselves. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

BEST of luck in finding what that balance looks like in your own home and in schooling! Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited April 15, 2011 by Lori D.

[Embassy]

It took me years to realize that I naturally have *always* had a very high love of learning, which increased when we started homeschooling -- unfortunately, our DSs have a very LOW interest in anything to do with schooling -- Note that I did not say they have a low interest in LEARNING. What I have found is that *THEY* associate formal learning with school. They dislike school, therefore, (in their minds) they don't enjoy learning.

 

Needless to say, that made our first years of homeschooling disappointing and frustrating especially to me -- I thought it would all be so "delight driven" -- "Look ,children! Isn't it wonderful having grammar (or math facts... or spelling... or...) in our own home! Anything and everything can be educational!" :001_rolleyes:

 

Don't get me wrong -- I DO think it is important to use materials that will best connect with a student, especially if they have a learning issue or really strongly need to have their first exposure to a topic from a very specific learning style. (I have a strongly visual-spatial learner, and it took a LOT of work and research and trial-and-error to find math, spelling, and writing programs and techniques that work for him.)

 

And I also think it is important to have fun and not have everything so formal. In fact, that's where I often see our DSs enjoying learning, when it's in an unstructured, informal setting -- just fooling around with kits or math manipulatives, field trips, games, just-for-fun read alouds, shows like Bill Nye, Mythbusters, Nova, etc.

 

BUT... if I had continued to TRY to make school entertaining, I would have stopped homeschooling years ago, feeling I was a failure. I finally just had to accept that our DSs just don't like school. AND, it is not my job to try and make them enjoy it. Whether or not they feel entertained, or "enjoy" learning is their choice -- not my responsibility. My job is to provide them with the materials that will best enable them to learn; to provide individual help as needed; and to make sure as their parent that I equip them beyond academics for real life. And that's where I see the success or failure coming in -- not did THEY choose to learn anything or choose to love to learn -- but did *I* daily choose to do the best I could in those above areas.

 

 

Here is the episode that helped illuminate the situation for me: One day the 3 of us were playing a math-oriented game and laughing and having a great time. Suddenly, my younger DS looked up with an expression of extreme suspicion and said, "Is this SCHOOL?!!" and I laughed and said, "Why? Will you stop having fun if it is?" And he said very fiercely, "YES!" So I said, "We're having fun, so it must be a game!" And he relaxed and we all went back to having fun (and probably learning a little something in spite of ourselves!).

 

 

Ultimately, the best thing for all of us was when I stopped trying to make school entertaining and "just got on with it". And you know what? After a few months, they came to me every once in awhile and would say, "We really liked ________; could we do that again sometimes?" -- Affirmation that they DID enjoy learning -- they just didn't want to admit it. LOL!

 

Now, 11 years into homeschooling, I try to schedule what I think would work best with each student; I try to include some books and activities I think they would especially enjoy (and since they are in high school, I do solicit input, though I make the final decisions); and I try to make sure we just enjoy some things for fun and NOT write a report on it or make a diarama or check a box off on a schedule -- and smile to myself when I see them learning in spite of themselves. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

BEST of luck in finding what that balance looks like in your own home and in schooling! Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

Lori,

 

I appreciate your detailed response. Something you said struck a chord with me and I'm not totally "getting" it:tongue_smilie: I never considered that instilling an interest in a child was entertainment or entertaining a child. I'm sitting here thinking over this and I still don't get it. Perhaps you can help me out or maybe someone else can. If you instill an interest through entertainment wouldn't that interest go away when the entertainment did?

[mamachanse]

I'm always trying to make things interesting, even if she doesn't particularly like something. However, I try not to take it personally or label it a failure if she doesn't love it.

 

Me too.

[Hedgehog]

...it is not my job to try and make them enjoy it. Whether or not they feel entertained, or "enjoy" learning is their choice -- not my responsibility. My job is to provide them with the materials that will best enable them to learn; to provide individual help as needed; and to make sure as their parent that I equip them beyond academics for real life. And that's where I see the success or failure coming in -- not did THEY choose to learn anything or choose to love to learn -- but did *I* daily choose to do the best I could in those above areas.

 

:iagree:

 

My dc know that there is a reason for every subject we do, so even if it's not exciting, they know why we keep doing it. I would love for them to be interested in everything, but I don't feel a failure if they are not.

Edited April 15, 2011 by Hedgehog

[Joyofsixreboot]

I judge my success or a curriculums success on how well the material is retained. I never really considered their enjoyment part of the equation. Of course I don't want them to be miserable but I can't compare to time with their friends, or movies or video games, etc.

[Susie in CA]

I totally get what Lori is saying. I have one ds who, no matter, what we do for 'school' will say he doesn't like it, it is boring etc. It starts to feel to the parent like you are always looking for a way to make it interesting which turns into a way to make it entertaining etc. This becomes extremely frustrating because no matter what you do you get the same feedback. I, too, have stopped doing that. I tell him fun/interest/joy are choices. I don't really care to go grocery shopping. I do, however, love it when I find yummy food in the refridgerator. The joy comes after the job in this case. My ds11 has a difficult time seeing this (or as Lori says doesn't want to admit it). We do indeed read interesting books and go on fieldtrips, but math, grammar, spelling...get done because they are not up for negotiation. Period. And you know what...At the end of the day he usually enjoys knowing these things and sometimes will admit that something was fun afterall.

 

Susie

[Lori D.]

If you instill an interest through entertainment wouldn't that interest go away when the entertainment did?

 

 

Yes, you're right. I didn't realize it, but when we first started, I was focusing more on trying to help my kids *enjoy* the experience of homeschooling -- which is really about entertainment.

 

Also, I think I need to define terms. When I think of the expression "instill an interest in learning", to me, that sounds like parents should be able to mold their children to hold specific attitudes. Again, maybe I am misinterpreting this phrase in light of having an extremely strong-willed child who is NOT moldable. (LOL)

 

I see "instilling an interest" in children as meaning: making opportunities available to them; exposing them to a variety of subjects in a variety of ways; and sharing or bringing them alongside as I continue to learn and to develop/expand an interest -- but not expect, require or demand that they, too, will be interested.

 

So then, to connect that to the original question, for me, any "success" or "failure" has to do, NOT with what my children choose as their attitudes and reactions to specific curriculae, school or homeschool, or even learning in general, but it has to do with "did *I* do my best:

 

- Did I take into consideration my children's learning styles?

- And their specific educational needs?

- Did I keep "doing my homework" -- did I do a reasonable amount of research all along the way so we could make changes as needed?

- Did I take into consideration my teen's developing interests and goals to help them be prepared for college/career/life?

- Did I take into consideration life circumstances ("life" happens) -- so I don't beat myself up for having to let go of some educational expectations -- or, did I let go of MY plans/schedules to allow us to take advantage of unexpected opportunities?

 

 

Hopefully, that was more clear. And hope it didn't "bunny trail" from the original question too much! ;) Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited April 15, 2011 by Lori D.
corrected typos

[MerryAtHope]

I never considered that instilling an interest in a child was entertainment or entertaining a child. I'm sitting here thinking over this and I still don't get it. Perhaps you can help me out or maybe someone else can. If you instill an interest through entertainment wouldn't that interest go away when the entertainment did?

 

When I think of entertainment, I don't think that the mind necessarily has to be that engaged. There's probably a continuum of sorts...a lot of TV would be towards the unengaged end of things (though some shows that interweave education and ideas probably engage the mind more--just as some books are more engaging of the mind while others are more escapist...), while things like creative play where the child is doing something he considers fun also engages the imagination, problem-solving skills, and so on.

 

I guess I think...entertainment doesn't equal learning and doesn't equal instilling an interest, but sometimes instilling an interest can involve entertainment.

 

If the entertainment part of something is the only thing that is drawing a person in, then an interest really hasn't been instilled. But sometimes entertainment can be the window that opens the way for interest to happen.

 

I think of entertainment as one vehicle, but not the main one by which I teach. I don't think of it as an end goal.

 

I think entertainment can happen quite naturally with a subject that a child is already interested in (I remember my daughter at age 4 taking marbles to her room and discovering all the ways to make 9--she demonstrated multiplication, addition, and subtraction all on her own, just for fun).

 

Just rambling! Merry :-)