Time away from family....

[*lifeoftheparty*]

DH and DS6 are going away with DH's dad, my 2 BIL's and 2 nephews for a "guys bonding weekend". They leave this Friday morning (early) and won't get back until Sunday night (late). During this trip, they will be shooting guns, for "fun" and educational purposes. :glare:

 

I have been extremely nervous/anxious about this whole thing ever since I found out about the whole shooting range thing. DH suggested I "get away" while they are gone, instead of sitting in the house worrying....

 

So, I am going to Williamsburg, by myself.

 

Now, I know, that I am a complete moron for even putting this out there, b/c I know people have things to worry about WAY worse than this, but I just feel really anxious and I need to unload!

 

I don't like being away from my family. I'm not one of those people who needs "time away". I fantasize about it when DS drives me crazy, sometimes, but I'm realizing that I would much rather just be with DH and DS than be alone, or even with girlfriends, etc. *sigh*

 

I'm worried b/c I won't be there to watch out for DS. I'm not saying I don't trust DH, or that he isn't capable. I'm saying that DH is all about letting DS6 be more "independent" and do things on his own. When DS jumped out the window (b/c he was trying to fly :glare:) he was here with DH, who thought that the fact DS was quiet in his room was a good thing. :glare:

 

I'm also a bit of a control freak, there I said it. I'm getting this bad feeling in my stomach when I think about them being gone and I don't know if it's moms intuition, or me just being stupid. :confused:

 

I'm trying to be excited about going to Williamsburg and getting to see things I wouldn't normally get to see with non-history loving DH and DS. I'm happy I'll get to stay in a hotel and have my bed made for me and my breakfast made for me. I'm also going to eat at "The Chef's Kitchen" which looks awesome! I get excited for about 5 minutes and then the worry/anxiety returns.

 

All my mommy friends are "jealous" (all in good fun!) about my alone time; but I just can't wait for it to be over and have my family all back together, safe and under one roof!

 

So, can I ask for prayer? Please pray that DH and DS will have a good time and have some good "bonding" experiences, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, that they are safe and cautious and make it back alive and in one piece. And please pray that I am able to just let go of this anxiety! I need to relax, enjoy my weekend, get sleep/rest so that I come back recharged and ready to finish out the school year.

 

Does anyone else have these feelings? Am I completely off the wall?

 

I don't really talk about "feelings" with many people IRL, so it's nice to come here and either a) have my feelings validated or b) have people bring me into reality!

[littlebug42]

From one control freak to another, it will be OK. My dh has taken my girls away from me for a few days before and I had belly rumblings about it too. But, he loves them just as much as I do and although he may do things differently than I would, it doesn't make them any less valid. It was good for him to get a chance to be THE parent for a few days as well as good for them in that they got some great bonding time with their Dad. When the girls were younger, I think I sometimes made my dh afraid to do anything for them because he wouldn't do it my way. Time to yourself to rejuvenate is not a bad thing either. I hope you have a great time and manage to enjoy your time away.

[blakereese]

I understand completely.

 

I am a control freak. Now I said it. :001_smile: So yeh. I get that.

 

I've only been away one time, it was a long weekend at a spa with a girlfriend. We planned and plotted for months, trying to find the perfect time that we could both get away from our very small children. Everything fell into place, we found the perfect resort in between the states we live in, and made all of our reservations. Then I get there. I am ready to come home. I miss the kids. I miss DH. I am hoping that he is giving them the right stuff for dinner, and cutting it into small pieces, oh I better call and make sure, what do you mean you didn't give them a bath?!!? ;) Ahh good times.

 

I did end up relaxing and having a wonderful time. But I did wish DH was with me, and I had to shop for some little things to bring back for the kids. I couldn't wait to get back home. And I haven't gone anywhere since. But yeh, I still complain that " I can never get away"! :lol::o Poor DH, he can't win. I find that I am all talk sometimes with this stuff. I wish I could just get away, I'd love some alone time, etc...but when it comes down to it, I'd rather be with my family.

 

But anyway, I feel exactly like you do. I'd be a bit worried, anxious, etc. But try to have fun. I'd love to go to Williamsburg, wish I could meet up with you! :D We could miss our families together. ;)

 

:grouphug:

[Halftime Hope]

Talk with your dh about what the sho*ting plans are.

 

Tell him that you are worried b/c you are 1) a more (insert appropriate descriptors) parent of a young child than he is, and 2) that you are also unfamiliar, therefore very uncomfortable with f*rea*ms. (Did I read that part right? Maybe not...)

 

Could you ask him to tell you what the safety rules/plans are, with the stated purpose to help you relax and quit worrying? If you were there, you would probably see and hear the safety protocols being implemented, but since you aren't there, being able to envision them will help you to relax.

 

It isn't that you don't trust him (well mostly...do you trust that he learned from the window incident?), it's that you can envision the dangers, but not the ways that they will be mitigated.

 

In addition, remind him of the particular traits about your child that worry you. For example, is ds implusive? will he suddenly run out in front of the firing line? Is he so enamored with big boy toys that he will grab a f*rea*m that someone has set down? Does he lack common sense? Whatever traits you see that concern you, ask dh to think about those and plan ahead.

 

When we had young children and went plinking with family one time, one adult *watched the children*, and did only that. The second adult was directly engaged helping one child at a time. Depending on the ages of the nephews, it could easily get very complicated (unsafe) if the adults haven't decided ahead of time how they are going to manage the session. BTW, most commercial ranges in our area have a lower age limit; I believe the most liberal allows 10 yos in limited situations. Also, am*o should be locked up separately from the hardware when they are doing other things.

 

It's not hard to make this kind of event perfectly safe, and you know what kind of guys your dh and the other guys are. :) Your dh is probably really looking forward to this as a time to share something really fun with your son. (It is fun!!) And I think guys really need opportunities to change pace and do *guy*ish things. (It's fun for gals, too, so no one start anything, OK?) You know how important guy-bonding time is, so focus on being thankful for it. :)

Edited March 9, 2011 by Valerie(TX)

[Carrie12345]

I'm a control freak, too. I left my 11-week-old with dh for the first time on Saturday to spend 4 hours just 1.5 miles down the road, and I had rocks in my stomach. But I also knew I needed that tiny little break, and it did me good. Despite the rocks!

 

I'll admit that the gun factor would make me extra nervous but, overall, I think it's a good thing when kids have a more relaxed parent to balance the more... um... anxious parent (like me!)

[*lifeoftheparty*]

Well, I'm happy to see that other people feel the same way!

 

blakereese, that is EXACTLY how I feel! Sometimes I wonder if I talk about "getting away" just b/c that's what I think women should do? :confused:

 

Could you ask him to tell you what the safety rules/plans are, with the stated purpose to help you relax and quit worrying? If you were there, you would probably see and hear the safety protocols being implemented, but since you aren't there, being able to envision them will help you to relax.

 

It isn't that you don't trust him (well mostly...do you trust that he learned from the window incident?), it's that you can envision the dangers, but not the ways that they will be mitigated.

 

In addition, remind him of the particular traits about your child that worry you. For example, is ds implusive? will he suddenly run out in front of the firing line? Is he so enamored with big boy toys that he will grab a f*rea*m that someone has set down? Does he lack common sense? Whatever traits you see that concern you, ask dh to think about those and plan ahead.

 

We were both in the Army, so there isn't any firearm fears. But all those traits you mention?? DS6 has them in SPADES! (I think, besides my control issues, that's the biggest issue I have)

 

I've explained my fears and DH explained what will happen, but I'm still nervous. They aren't going to a range. The place they are renting has acres and acres, in the middle of NOWHERE, so the shooting has been approved by whoever they are renting from. All the adults are familiar with guns and shooting, but accidents can still happen :(

 

I'll admit that the gun factor would make me extra nervous but, overall, I think it's a good thing when kids have a more relaxed parent to balance the more... um... anxious parent (like me!)

 

Well, DH is definitely relaxed... I wish I felt more balanced!

 

Tonight, I noticed that DS has Pink Eye! We have a Dr. appt. tonight.... is it bad that I hope he says DS shouldn't go?