Little Nyssa Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Our children often play with another family's kids. The other kids have recently been removed by the state and are living in foster care. This situation will probably last a couple of months and then be resolved. (I'm not going into details because it's not germane to my question-- but everyone is safe and the kids are good kids, elementary age.) At the parents' request, we have been allowed to talk to the social worker and we will be planning a playdate at our house for the kids to come over and play as usual, to encourage continuity for the kids. I'm expecting a call from the foster mother. My question is, can I please have some advice about how to handle things? Do I keep everything as if nothing has happened? Will the kids want to talk about their situation? My own kids are too little to understand what has happened and I am not sure if I need to make up a cover story or what. Do I need to plan activities or just let them all play as usual. Sorry this is disjointed and maybe unclear-- DD is fussing. Thank you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 I would just let them play as usual and be prepared to talk to the kids if they initiate a conversation. Depending on their ages, they may want to pretend everything is normal for a while. My kids friends lost their dad a couple months ago and they like to come over here and hang out because then they can pretend for a bit that everything is normal. The 12yo likes to talk to my dd but they are girls, best friends, and always talk about everything. The 6yo just plays with ds5, they are boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 We are doing after school care for a foster child (story is too complicated to go in to), she's 6 and my kids know nothing about her situation. She is very sensitive about her "status", so she is just our friend and that is all we say about her. Just treat them normally, although just make sure you are very aware of everything that is going on, without being hovering. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 I was in a foster home for a time as a teen, and I agree with the previous posters that you should act as if things are normal. When I went into foster care (my father had some issues and it wasn't safe for me to be there for awhile) I hated that everyone I knew looked at me like I was an alien. You feel like everyone on the street somehow knows you're a foster kid. It's horrible. I'm sure the kids would be glad to have some normalcy. I wouldn't bring it up at all unless they do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 I agree with the above advice. (I spent a lot of years at the beginning of my career working with kids in the foster care system, and I do think they would appreciate the continuity of the relationship and the normalcy without any discussion unless they bring it up.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 Thank you all!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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