Joker Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I received an email today via Facebook from by bil's ex-wife. She walked out on him while we were visiting many years ago. It was awkward and horrible. BIL was a paraplegic when they married. He passed a few years ago and she sends an email today wanting to find him and apologize. I send an email informing her he passed. She sends back she is hurt and feels disrespected because no one contacted her and that there are two sides to every story. :confused: I'm p****ed! There is so much I want to say and so much I can't put here. But really? That's her response? In the end she asks how he passed. I sooo want to send an email and explain how he passed in his sleep all alone and we didn't know for days and tell her to get over her feelings of *disrespect*. Dh says he doesn't care what I do as long as I keep her away from him and his parents. I'm finding out I have many feelings that I have shoved aside so I could help my dh through this and I would love to get them off my chest. But I'm trying to be the bigger person ~ like always. It gets really tiring. I guess this is just a vent to keep me from letting loose on her but I would really like a reason to tell her what I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I am sorry you are having all these feelings stirred up again. Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Probably a good idea to respond from the most gracious place you can- she would have just received a shock and she was in a place to apologise and now she cant. And the truth is, there ARE always 2 sides to a story. Life has it's own way of dealing with people- we don't need to help, especially if its not our direct business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Wow... how truly awful. I would be spitting mad if I were you. Sounds like she is feeling remorseful and wants to unburden her conscience. I encourage you to not unburden yourself on this girl, as nothing good could come from it. But I wouldn't encourage further contact, either. JMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Thanks! Strangely enough, I feel a bit better just letting a bit of it out here. She said many things in her email and it just brought back a lot and really bothered me. He was sick when she left him and it was really shocking. My dds kept asking where their aunt went. I don't know how I will respond but I will wait until I don't feel so snippy. I'm just so surprised she responded with anger and hateful words. Maybe it's just her guilt talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weddell Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Thanks! Strangely enough, I feel a bit better just letting a bit of it out here. She said many things in her email and it just brought back a lot and really bothered me. He was sick when she left him and it was really shocking. My dds kept asking where their aunt went. I don't know how I will respond but I will wait until I don't feel so snippy. I'm just so surprised she responded with anger and hateful words. Maybe it's just her guilt talking. You are probably right that her guilt is what drove the response. At least I hope so. Definitely take a step back before answering. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) Wow. This is tough. I'm sorry for you and for all your family has gone through. I would just ignore any more emails from her, and not respond to this one, unless you are interested in continuing a dialogue with her. If you unload on her, she'll respond, and it will go on and on. I don't see a good end to it. She walked out. That was her choice. She can't walk back in now. He's gone, and she can't make it right with him. She'll have to process this and find peace through some other path; your husband and family (and you) don't need to help her process this. They've had enough pain from her. If you are able to forgive her in your heart, I'd do that, just so she doesn't have a hold on you. Trust that she'll be able to work through it herself too. Hope that helps. Sorry for the situation. Edited to add: I guess I would send a short, information only email that said he died in his sleep. Edited March 2, 2011 by JoMama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooblink Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Probably a good idea to respond from the most gracious place you can- she would have just received a shock and she was in a place to apologise and now she cant. And the truth is, there ARE always 2 sides to a story. Life has it's own way of dealing with people- we don't need to help, especially if its not our direct business. :iagree: and :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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