unsinkable Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Let me pitch you a scenario: ;) Decades ago, the oldest child of many was the only one legally (over 18) able to be the executor of the parents' will. The will was never changed thru the years. Decades pass. One parent died. Another child was named as power of attorney and provided daily care for her surviving parent for years. When the end of the parent's life neared, the POA child asked to be made co-executor b/c she had been caring for her parent and taking care of all financial stuff for years. The executor said no. She also told other siblings that she wasn't doing it for the money and that she wouldn't take the money. Months pass. The final paperwork has come thru and the executor is listed as taking the fee that she legally is entitled to. Her lawyer told her she'd be a fool not to take it. But she had promised (verbally) her siblings she wouldn't take the money. So, can the siblings do anything about it? BTW, these aren't my siblings. And I see it as a can't win situation. If they argue, they will just cause hard feelings. If they don't argue, the executor breaks her word with no consequences. What says the Hive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 The executor is entitled to the money. There can be a lot involved in settling the estate, and the money they recieve is usually nominal. If the exec. doesn't want to accept the fee, then he/she doesn't have to. If he/she wants to then that is his/her right. Sounds a little to me, like the POA wants the compensation for taking care of the parents? It is a difficult situation, the exec. could be nice and split the money w/ sibs, and they could still end up hating him/her. Death and money do weird things to people. Well, how's that for no help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) The executor is entitled to the money. There can be a lot involved in settling the estate, and the money they recieve is usually nominal. If the exec. doesn't want to accept the fee, then he/she doesn't have to. If he/she wants to then that is his/her right. Sounds a little to me, like the POA wants the compensation for taking care of the parents? It is a difficult situation, the exec. could be nice and split the money w/ sibs, and they could still end up hating him/her. Death and money do weird things to people. Well, how's that for no help? It is helpful! :grouphug: I appreciate the answer! Here, it is a percentage of the estate, so it is not just nominal. The POA child does NOT want to be compensated. Not at all. She actually had to do much of what the executor would typically do b/c she knew everything that needed to be done b/c she'd been taking care of stuff for years. Edited February 24, 2011 by unsinkable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 I'm interested in hearing the replies because I'm in a similar situation except My sister and I have never discussed executors fees. I helped my dad write a will that named me as independent executrix, without pay. He went to a lawyer and had her rewrite the will and one of the changes is that I am to be paid a percentage. I can decline it, but the attorney strongly advises me to take it saying that there would not be any money for my sister at all if I had not spent countless hours working on everything. I still have months to decide what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 I'm interested in hearing the replies because I'm in a similar situation except My sister and I have never discussed executors fees. I helped my dad write a will that named me as independent executrix, without pay. He went to a lawyer and had her rewrite the will and one of the changes is that I am to be paid a percentage. I can decline it, but the attorney strongly advises me to take it saying that there would not be any money for my sister at all if I had not spent countless hours working on everything. I still have months to decide what to do. In my scenario, there would be no estate left if the POA child had not cared for her parent in her home for years and had instead put her in a nursing home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 We have that situation with my MIL. Two brothers are in town, and do all of the work. Another brother who is out of state wants to insist on controlling the details and the money. Fortunately, the other siblings united and told the interloper where could go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 We have that situation with my MIL. Two brothers are in town, and do all of the work. Another brother who is out of state wants to insist on controlling the details and the money. Fortunately, the other siblings united and told the interloper where could go. That's good for them. I know in my scenario the POA child wishes the will had been changed years ago. I think she was in denial about losing both parents in a (relatively) short time period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineW Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Let me pitch you a scenario: ;) Decades ago, the oldest child of many was the only one legally (over 18) able to be the executor of the parents' will. The will was never changed thru the years. Decades pass. One parent died. Another child was named as power of attorney and provided daily care for her surviving parent for years. When the end of the parent's life neared, the POA child asked to be made co-executor b/c she had been caring for her parent and taking care of all financial stuff for years. The executor said no. She also told other siblings that she wasn't doing it for the money and that she wouldn't take the money. Months pass. The final paperwork has come thru and the executor is listed as taking the fee that she legally is entitled to. Her lawyer told her she'd be a fool not to take it. But she had promised (verbally) her siblings she wouldn't take the money. So, can the siblings do anything about it? BTW, these aren't my siblings. And I see it as a can't win situation. If they argue, they will just cause hard feelings. If they don't argue, the executor breaks her word with no consequences. What says the Hive? Legally, the executor is entitled to the money. It would have been nice if she had declined the fee, but she didn't. Siblings can confront her and ask her to return it but that's pretty much all they can do. Big sis may have reasons for keeping the fee beyond her lawyer advising her to take it. It was up to the surviving parent to revise their will, he/she didn't. If the POA sibling had wanted to be an executor, s/he should have taken it up with the surviving parent. Unless some assets went into trust upon the death of the first parent, I don't see how the sister got to decide who was executor. The big takeaway should be: update your will with major life events. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 The executor is entitled to the money. There can be a lot involved in settling the estate, and the money they recieve is usually nominal. I agree. My mom was executor for her parents' estate, and she did a ton of work. One thing she did was make copies of all the pictures (and grandma was a photographer at one time, so she took tons of pictures through the years), and divvied them up among all 9 of the "kids." She divided up the originals so each sibling would have an equal/fair share of those as well. If I recall, this took her a couple/few months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 About changing the will to provide for co executors...that would have to have been done by the parents, not the executor. My attorney said that nothing is as big of a nightmare as co executors. My understanding of your story is that the parents made one child executor. A different child wanted to share those duties/responsibilities, but the executor can't just appoint the other sibling. They can accept or decline the position. If they decline, the court can appoint an outside executor, and they will certainly take a percentage of the estate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 I agree. My mom was executor for her parents' estate, and she did a ton of work. One thing she did was make copies of all the pictures (and grandma was a photographer at one time, so she took tons of pictures through the years), and divvied them up among all 9 of the "kids." She divided up the originals so each sibling would have an equal/fair share of those as well. If I recall, this took her a couple/few months. This executor did NOTHING like that. That was really sweet of your mom. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 About changing the will to provide for co executors...that would have to have been done by the parents, not the executor. My attorney said that nothing is as big of a nightmare as co executors. My understanding of your story is that the parents made one child executor. A different child wanted to share those duties/responsibilities, but the executor can't just appoint the other sibling. They can accept or decline the position. If they decline, the court can appoint an outside executor, and they will certainly take a percentage of the estate. Well, I was a co-executor once and it worked out fine. No nightmare at all. I understand what you are saying but the executor did promise she wouldn't take the money and then none of the kids contested her being the executor based on that. I don't know if you can contest an executor? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 Legally, the executor is entitled to the money. It would have been nice if she had declined the fee, but she didn't. Siblings can confront her and ask her to return it but that's pretty much all they can do. Big sis may have reasons for keeping the fee beyond her lawyer advising her to take it. It was up to the surviving parent to revise their will, he/she didn't. If the POA sibling had wanted to be an executor, s/he should have taken it up with the surviving parent. Unless some assets went into trust upon the death of the first parent, I don't see how the sister got to decide who was executor. The big takeaway should be: update your will with major life events. You are so right on about what I bolded! The POA child asked if she could be co-executor along with the executor...I don't know if there would have been any way for this to happen. I was under the impression that there was a way...but i could be completely wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineW Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) l You are so right on about what I bolded! The POA child asked if she could be co-executor along with the executor...I don't know if there would have been any way for this to happen. I was under the impression that there was a way...but i could be completely wrong. If the living parent changed the will, then both siblings could be co-executors over the will of the surviving parent. The executor couldn't appoint the sister to serve with her on her own that is the responsibility of the person who wrote the will. Parent didn't change a decades old will even though parent later gave POA to another child. No court will touch this without proof of abuse of other assets. A verbal assurance that the executor position wasn't about the money won't hold water for a host of legal reasons. The POA child has no legal recourse. The siblings have no grounds to contest appointment of the oldest sister as trustee and since it appears that the sister fulfilled her duties then it would be a waste of resources to sue b/c the siblings will lose and attorney fees will be out of their own pockets. They can confront sister and ask for her to return the fee. They can be mad. But otherwise they are SOL. My guess is that big sis underestimated the time and energy in settling the estate and felt entitled to the fee. There is a reason why giving the executor $ to settle probate is the norm--it can be a big headache and involves a lot of time. Siblings should just let it go. Edited February 25, 2011 by ChristineW erased typos from kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 l If the living parent changed the will, then both siblings could be co-executors over the will of the surviving parent. The executor couldn't appoint the sister to serve with her on her own that is the responsibility of the person who wrote the will. Parent didn't change a decades old will even though parent later gave POA to another child. No court will touch this without proof of abuse of other assets. A verbal assurance that the executor position wasn't about the money won't hold water for a host of legal reasons. The POA child has no legal recourse. The siblings have no grounds to contest appointment of the oldest sister as trustee and since it appears that the sister fulfilled her duties then it would be a waste of resources to sue b/c the siblings will lose and attorney fees will be out of their own pockets. They can confront sister and ask for her to return the fee. They can be mad. But otherwise they are SOL. My guess is that big sis underestimated the time and energy in settling the estate and felt entitled to the fee. There is a reason why giving the executor $ to settle probate is the norm--it can be a big headache and involves a lot of time. Siblings should just let it go. I am thinking that, too. Sorta. It isn't my fight...I actually have no say. I am just on the venting end of so many of the players. Ugh. It is awful. Thanks to everyone for their input! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Thanks again to everyone. I appreciate the sounding board and the time you all took to reply to me! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 It isn't my fight...I actually have no say. I am just on the venting end of so many of the players. Ugh. It is awful. My family was seamless, but I've seen others... wow. When it comes to money some blood runs very thin. If the executor didn't bilk them, flaunt her fiduciary duty, etc, they should THANK THEIR lucky stars and go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 My family was seamless, but I've seen others... wow. When it comes to money some blood runs very thin. If the executor didn't bilk them, flaunt her fiduciary duty, etc, they should THANK THEIR lucky stars and go from there. wow is right. :) Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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