Looking for unlikely success stories

[Grace is Sufficient]

What I mean is this: Over the last few years, I've seen a number of threads emerge along of the lines of: this student is unmotivated, unmanageable, etc. etc. and I'm at the end of my rope.

 

Any one who ever had a kid like that now have a successful adult? It might be encouraging for some of us who are slogging along in the trenches with the truly troubled/difficult ones.

 

TIA

Debbie

[Julie in MN]

Not sure if this is encouraging or not, but it does qualify for "truly troubled or difficult."

 

My dd is the reason I started (unwillingly) homeschooling, and she was our challenge child. She failed 9th in ps because she passively stopped doing any assignments whatsoever (still smiled & went to class). She came home and struggled with us through 4 years of homeschooling, never graduated, had a baby at 19, expected us to practically raise the baby...

 

She's 24 now, has supported herself most of the time by being a nanny etc, and she remembers all the academics she learned probably better than my boys who are/were good students. She's a good mom and a sweet girl.

 

Does that qualify as a success? Or make you feel fortunate?

Julie

Edited February 16, 2011 by Julie in MN

[plansrme]

nm

Edited February 17, 2011 by plansrme

[Grace is Sufficient]

Just some indication that kids with a lot of problems really can and do grow up into successful, happy adults. I love my daughter dearly, but she seems to have inherited some of the worst characteristics that run in my family -- character issues, as in the unmotivated, unmanageable stuff, as well as emotional issues, such as anxiety, depression, OCD.

 

(Yes, she's in counselling.)

 

Some days I just get discouraged.

[Storm Bay]

I have three brothers, and one of these could qualify, although you may not like all of it.

 

The eldest of my three brothers did not like school and dropped out of high school after grade 11. He'd had some trouble stealing money from my mother's wallet, making collect calls to someone else's number & lying about smoking even when caught (small peanuts compared to what his birth brother was doing, but stressful for my parents!) For several years after school he struggled, and my parents helped him out as needed. Finally, they used tough love and cut him off from all help (not forever, but he didn't know that.) He finally got a job and kept it. Not a great job, but he worked in a 7/11 or something like that and became a manager. Over the years he did various things. Eventually he started working as a temp in Vancouver, ended up doing so well with this he worked at the temp agency, became a manager, etc. He is doing someting else now, over 25 years since high school. He owns his own condo in Vancouver, is well liked at his job and has friends. Is that success enough?

[Susan C.]

Debbie,

How old is she?

 

You definitely cannot tell from their teenage years what their adult years will be like. Being a good student (or bad) is not all that defines anyone.

[Jean in Wisc]

What I mean is this: Over the last few years, I've seen a number of threads emerge along of the lines of: this student is unmotivated, unmanageable, etc. etc. and I'm at the end of my rope.

 

Any one who ever had a kid like that now have a successful adult? It might be encouraging for some of us who are slogging along in the trenches with the truly troubled/difficult ones.

 

TIA

Debbie

 

You mean the kid who decided that if he didn't understand and remember it the first time he read it, there was something wrong with the book, mom's expectations, or the world? But now he sits in his room until 1:00, 2:00, 3:00 and even 4:30 a.m. doing his college homework?

[Grace is Sufficient]

Debbie,

How old is she?

 

You definitely cannot tell from their teenage years what their adult years will be like. Being a good student (or bad) is not all that defines anyone.

 

She'll be sixteen in a few days. I sure hope her adult years are different. Unfortunately, my concerns go far beyond just being a good student. She's actually not a terrible student. That's one area in which I have seen improvement in the last year. Her issues are more social and emotional.

 

I just pray a lot and try to trust.

[Stacy in NJ]

He did okay on the SAT and attended a NY state school. He dropped out of college during his second year to play in a rock band (lead guitar). After 3 years of the crappy bar music scene, some mild drug use, and earning his rent money by working at a golf course, he returned to school, joined ROTC, graduated, and was commissioned. He was in the military for 4 fours but choose not to re-up. He got a job on Wall Street and then an MBA from Columbia.

 

He works for a well known Wall Street firm and loves his job. It offers great compensation and occasional travel to interesting and exotic locations (for the whole family).

 

My parents passed away almost one year after one another when I was a teen. I spent my high school years bouncing between my step-mother, who really didn't want me but felt obligated to keep me, and my older sister who really wasn't capable of any kind of parenting (she was just too young). I did allright in high school and pretty well on my SAT. I was accepted at a pretty good private school and spent what little money my dad left me on two years of tuition. After that I was out of money and out of options. I bounced around between different jobs (waitress, bartender, nanny, factory worker) and colleges (U of Minnesota, Macalester College, U of Chicago, St. John's) until I landed in NYC where I met my dh. We married when I was 24, and he made an honest woman of me. :D I never graduated from college.

 

Soooo, all this to say: It's possible to have a less than ideal or even difficult start in life and the teen years and still manage through the grace of God to do okay for yourself. :D

 

Not sure if this is what you're looking for, but people do grow and change in unpredictable ways.

Edited February 17, 2011 by Stacy in NJ

[Julie in MN]

She'll be sixteen in a few days. I sure hope her adult years are different. Unfortunately, my concerns go far beyond just being a good student. She's actually not a terrible student. That's one area in which I have seen improvement in the last year. Her issues are more social and emotional.

 

I just pray a lot and try to trust.

 

:grouphug: You still don't seem encouraged by any of the stories so far, and my heart goes out to you. I had a difficult day with my dd today, myself.

 

I'll share one more story. It's about me. Hope it's not more than you want to know :tongue_smilie:

 

I was a terrible teen. I was pregnant by age 15, at 16 ran away to two different states & was caught in one of them while hitchhiking & put in juv. detention for a short time (my parents refused to come & pick me up, & I can't blame them), and finally moved out at 17.

 

Yet I did grow up. I'm close to my parents now, and have provided them with most of their grandchildren :) . I've spent many adult years investing myself in volunteer work, parenting, and now being a homeschooling mom. I somehow ended up with a wonderful hubbie, whom I am happy to take care of sometimes during his illnesses.

 

It can turn out okay.

 

Remember that even God had trouble with Adam and Eve, so we know the road will not always be smooth in this world. But it's a blessing when we are given a new day and a fresh heart to wake up and try again.

 

Julie

Edited February 17, 2011 by Julie in MN