Living in Germany with small children?

[PollyOR]

My son-in-law is going to Hamburg, Germany as an exchange student for approximately 6 months. My daughter is excited but is also a little stressed about the unknowns of living there with small children. They visited Germany a couple of years ago with a 6 month old, and they loved their visit. She is due in April so will have a 3yo, 2yo, and infant.

 

Any advice for her will be greatly appreciated. :)

[5KidzRUs]

How exciting PollyOR! We lived here in Germany when our children were babies and we are back here again as they are becoming adults.

I hope that they will be able to put the little ones in German preschool.

What kind of advice are they looking for?

I have found Germany - Bavaria - a wonderful place to raise children.

[regentrude]

What kind of advice?

It's very easy to live in Germany. Most cities have great public transportation, so for this short amount of time they probably would not need a car if they live in the city.

Most young people know English, so they will get along OK even if they don't speak German.

They should be aware that most Germans do not own their houses; so a family with three children would normally live in an apartment and have much less space available than the Americans do. But you get used to it.

 

What else do you want to know?

[5KidzRUs]

I have read that some landlords require tenants to pay for the filling of the gas tank for the house once a year and it can cost $$$.

Also, many rentals do not come with kitchens - can even include no light fixtures.

International (temp) license is around $20 at AAA - restrictions for that though ...

German license costs about $2000.

Trains and buses are cheap I hear though.

These are things they should know ahead of time and prepare for.

There are soooooo many pluses too - Paris, London, Czech ... it all is so close - what a great opportunity - I hope that you can visit them while they are here!

[elinnea]

My husband is German and my two older children were born in Germany. I liked living over there but I did find it harder with children. It really depends on where you live though and what you are used to.

 

We lived in a large city and didn't own a car until my younger ds was 1. I was able to walk most places that I needed to go. A sturdy stroller that has room for groceries was a must. I didn't use public transportation so much after my younger ds was born because it was a bit stressful for me with a three year old, an infant and a stroller.

 

Germans are generally friendly towards children but don't have a lot of tolerance for noise or ill-behavior.

 

Most Germans live in apartments. Like 5KidzRUs mentioned, they sometimes do not come with kitchen cupboards, appliances, light fixtures, etc. They can sometimes be special rules too: quiet times, where you are allowed to keep strollers or bicycles in common areas, etc.

 

Generally there is not a common laundry room so people have a washer in their apartment. Some people have dryers but it is quite common to hang all of your wash on the balcony or some apartment have a common area outside to hang clothes. In some aeas it is frowned upon to hang clothes on Sundays.

 

Appliances are generally much smaller than in the U.S. and as such people go food shopping more frequently. There is usually a outdoor market once a week. Most grocery stores are small with not as many choices as Americans take for granted. Going out to eat can be quite expensive.

 

I hope that didn't sound too negative. I liked living there and hope to again one day but there are some things I wished I'd known beforehand. I think if your daughter is adventurous and open minded she will have a great time!

[Guest Peaches&Creme]

Hi! I am the person in question.:001_smile:

 

We have been before, and we traveled all over Europe, but I loved Germany the best! But living there for 6 or so months feels like an entirely different matter. My husband keeps saying things like "Diapers will probably be too expensive, you'll have to bring cloth ones", and he has psyched me out about the whole thing!

We will be in Hamburg, and I plan on using public transportation (I loved not having to stick kids in car seats last time around, but we'll see how it goes). Mostly I am concerned about the things I am supposed to be in charge of on a daily basis - kids and food! I remember a lot of culture shock when we went last time. For example, we arrived on a Saturday after over 24 hours straight of traveling on planes, trains, and anything else you could think of. So we crashed at our lodgings. Little did we know that while we napped, every single place you could possibly buy food was closing! And not just for the night, but all through Sunday too! There are solutions to this problem, like the train stations, but it took us awhile, and boy were we ever hungry! And sadly, I can't say that it didn't stop us from making the same mistake over several times during our stay.

 

For language, my husband studied German in college, and I have taken a year of courses, but I will be studying like crazy till I get there. It is true that many speak English, especially in larger cities and in shops, but I have found people to have little patience for you if they regard you as a stupid American tourist, even their job relates directly to you.

I've talked to dh about preschool for the 3yo, and he says yes, so I am very excited! We have been having her and ds watching Little Pim in German every day (Thanks for the gift Mom!), and dd can already tell you what a newspaper is and a nap. I'm worried she will completely outdo me in a very short amount of time.

 

Thank you guys for all your advice! Leaving behind everything you know is very intimidating, even if it is also exciting at the same time. And I know just enough from my last trip to know that I know very little, and am certainly in for some surprises!

[SonshineLearner]

Get and Ergo or similar good baby carrier :) I love cloth diapers, although... do you use them here?? How exciting!! Don't know how much traveling you can do with littles, but hopefully you can get around some :)

[Guest Peaches&Creme]

We got an Ergo about a month ago, and I absolutely adore it! It is definitely on my packing list.

I have been using cloth diapers...but I can't say I love those nearly as much. I hang in there about 50% of the time, and flushable liners really help, but heaven help me if my kids get sick. I guess I am not too excited about the thought of using them in a completely new setting, though. It might work. :confused: I think my dh likes the idea, because he is not the one who washes them.

[regentrude]

I don't get the part about the diapers. My kids were babies in Germany, and you CAN get disposable diapers at reasonable prices. Try a drugstore chain and get their store brand. It never occurred to me as a particularly huge expense.

(Food, OTOH, is VERY cheap there; about half the price compared to my - already cheap Midwest- groceries)

 

The shop closing laws have greatly relaxed over the past few years. Big supermarkets are now open till 10pm (used to be 6, then 8), and there are regular grocery stores in all big cities that have licenses to open during the night and on Sundays.

[elinnea]

I agree with regentrude about the diapers. I found the drugstore disposables in Germany to actually be cheaper and better quality to what I could find here.

 

Also she is right in that in the past few years the laws about opening times have changed.

 

Will you have a relocation person to help with housing and such? I would recommend asking about Kindergarten before you go to see whether it is even a possibility. When we lived there there was a six month waiting list and some red tape. It wasn't as easy as just going to the nearest one and signing up.

[elfgivas]

i loved living in the Black Forest. i was there for almost 5 years, and our oldest was born there, and we left when she was almost 2.

 

i loved walking down the street with the kids, going shopping each morning for the day's food (we could have done it other ways, but that's what my german neighbors did, so i tried it and loved it). the meat store gave her a little slice of wurst each morning....

 

i loved going for sunday afternoon walks with half the rest of the countryside, and stopping for pastry part way thru.

 

i loved the wine, the food, the flowers.... and the simplicity of it all. things were much less important.

 

i loved travelling.... we used to go to france for dinner : ).

 

hamburg is huge.... there will be disposable diapers, and most everything else you could find in any first world nation....

 

i would be packed with bells on.

 

enjoy! pm me if you have specific questions.

ann

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

When boarding a bus use the handicap entrance with the pram and then walk to the front to pay/show ticket. That will speed things up!

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Hi! I am the person in question.:001_smile:

 

We have been before, and we traveled all over Europe, but I loved Germany the best! But living there for 6 or so months feels like an entirely different matter. My husband keeps saying things like "Diapers will probably be too expensive, you'll have to bring cloth ones", and he has psyched me out about the whole thing!

We will be in Hamburg, and I plan on using public transportation (I loved not having to stick kids in car seats last time around, but we'll see how it goes). Mostly I am concerned about the things I am supposed to be in charge of on a daily basis - kids and food! I remember a lot of culture shock when we went last time. For example, we arrived on a Saturday after over 24 hours straight of traveling on planes, trains, and anything else you could think of. So we crashed at our lodgings. Little did we know that while we napped, every single place you could possibly buy food was closing! And not just for the night, but all through Sunday too! There are solutions to this problem, like the train stations, but it took us awhile, and boy were we ever hungry! And sadly, I can't say that it didn't stop us from making the same mistake over several times during our stay.

 

For language, my husband studied German in college, and I have taken a year of courses, but I will be studying like crazy till I get there. It is true that many speak English, especially in larger cities and in shops, but I have found people to have little patience for you if they regard you as a stupid American tourist, even their job relates directly to you.

I've talked to dh about preschool for the 3yo, and he says yes, so I am very excited! We have been having her and ds watching Little Pim in German every day (Thanks for the gift Mom!), and dd can already tell you what a newspaper is and a nap. I'm worried she will completely outdo me in a very short amount of time.

 

Thank you guys for all your advice! Leaving behind everything you know is very intimidating, even if it is also exciting at the same time. And I know just enough from my last trip to know that I know very little, and am certainly in for some surprises!

 

He's now 8, so some of the memories are hazy. Let me see if I can put you at ease a little.

 

Do you have a sponsor or anyone from the school/work who can help you get things prepped? Try to make some connections as soon as you can (ie, before you go)

 

Who will choose where you live? Real estate agents (Makler) were incredibly expensive to use when we were there. You could spend an entire month's rent paying the agent to help you find a house. But that isn't very practical if you're only going for a half year.

 

If I remember correctly, it was common for utilities to be estimated. At the end of a year, the landlord would total up the utilities for the 12 months and either charge or refund the difference. This could be expensive if not planned for, so be sure that someone who understands German renting looks over your lease.

 

Many people do own their own kitchen, but I think that short term rentals (ie, under a year) were supposed to come with a kitchen and lights.

 

See if you can buy used small appliances from someone at the school/work. Your US appliances will need a transformer or might not work at all. Our general rule was that we didn't take anything that produced heat or that had an internal clock (except computers).

 

We bought Pampers the whole time we were there. No big deal. Quite common. Cloth diapers are probably more common than in the US, but disposables were very available. I never found the cut rate brands that I'd used in the US, but didn't feel that the Pampers were all that expensive.

 

Baby food in jars is also available all over in grocery stores. In fact, I prefer the flavor combos that we used there. I did freak out when we got to our temp lodging and our sponsor had stocked the cupboard with flavors like lamb and veggie or fish. But my son actually couldn't get enough of the fish baby food.

 

We had an umbrella stroller that we brought with us. It was very handy for when we were in a metro station or other place with steps and no elevator (which was often). But it was so light weight that it bounced a lot when we used it on cobblestone streets. (Estonia was a special treat and it finally just fell apart crossing the street to St. Peter in Chains in Rome, but that's another story.) Germans seem to use heavier strollers that are more like a pram. These have great shocks, but are also hundreds of dollars. You should see if someone can loan you one or sell one used. If you're there in the cold months, you might want to invest in the baby bunting type bags for kids in strollers. These seemed incredibly warm and snuggly. I always wished that I'd gotten one, but it wouldn't have worked well with the strap arrangement on our stroller.

 

There isn't bad weather, just the wrong clothes. It is often cooler and rainier than the US. And you tend to be outside more, especially if you're not driving. So make sure the kids have warm coats, hats, etc. Snowsuits and rainpants were also common.

 

You can find Sesamstrasse online at the NDR website. Die Sendung mit der Maus is on the WDR site and on iTunes. I found that the Sachgeschichte from Sendung mit der Maus were good to explain things that I didn't get about Germany.

 

I hope this helps. We loved our time in Germany. It can be scary, but you can do a lot to remove stumbling blocks too. Don't be afraid to ask people for help.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I loved the bread, pasta, sasauge and produce and thought that most of those were great prices.

 

What I found to be more expensive were foods that were already mostly prepped. Things like a bag of precut veggies in sauce to add to cut meat to make a casserole. There seemed to be a big premium the more prepared the food was.

 

We also found that there were a lot of bakeries/groceries near any transportation location (S-Bahn, U-Bahn, Bahnhof, even Esso gas stations) and bakeries in some odd locations, like the very nice one that was at the giant plant store.

[Mom in High Heels]

We live in Germany now. Indy was born here and we lived here with him until late 2004. We moved back in late 2008 and Han Solo will be born here. Germany is very kid friendly! Diapers are NOT expensive, even with the terrible exchange rate (the dollar is not strong against the Euro right now). A pp mentioned the baby food combinations. They are different from what you get in the US (loads of fish baby foods), but Indy LOVED them and now at 8 eats pretty much anything. I think it's because he was exposed to such a wide variety of flavors when he was young and learning about different tastes.

The food prices are much cheaper. Aldi is a great place to shop. I know they have Aldi Nord up there (we have Aldi Sud). The stores are now allowed to be open until 8pm or 10pm on Saturdays, but are still closed on Sunday. If you need it, get it before Sat night or you will have to wait until Monday (which sometimes sucks).

[Sebastian (a lady)]

We live in Germany now. Indy was born here and we lived here with him until late 2004. We moved back in late 2008 and Han Solo will be born here. Germany is very kid friendly! Diapers are NOT expensive, even with the terrible exchange rate (the dollar is not strong against the Euro right now). A pp mentioned the baby food combinations. They are different from what you get in the US (loads of fish baby foods), but Indy LOVED them and now at 8 eats pretty much anything. I think it's because he was exposed to such a wide variety of flavors when he was young and learning about different tastes.

The food prices are much cheaper. Aldi is a great place to shop. I know they have Aldi Nord up there (we have Aldi Sud). The stores are now allowed to be open until 8pm or 10pm on Saturdays, but are still closed on Sunday. If you need it, get it before Sat night or you will have to wait until Monday (which sometimes sucks).

 

Our mantra when we lived in Berlin was "German solutions for German problems". What that meant to us was that if there was a problem like a small fridge or stores being closed on Sunday, there was probably a local solution, like smaller containers for the fridge (unlike our 2 quart pitcher, which never got used) or Sontagsbrot (mostly ready Brotchen that just needed 10 min in the oven to make them just right).

 

I did learn the hard way that they take store closings for Easter and Pentacost (Pfingsten) seriously. I think that Pfingsten snuck up on me every single year. And I kept forgetting that on Easter stores would be closed on Friday, half of Sat, Sunday and Monday. By Easter Tuesday I really would be scraping the bottom of the barrel or sending dh out the the gas station for bread.:tongue_smilie:

 

On the other hand, you could get seasonal flavors of Rittersport for about $0.90 a bar. Miss that.