Feeling like a failure...

[H0MEFree]

We have had a major crisis happen to our family right at the beginning of our school year and it will continue through the summer. :(

I also became pregnant at the end of December.

 

I have only gotten us through maybe 8-10 weeks of our history program.

My oldest (13 yrs) has been fairly dilligent to do much of her work on her own for math and such. However she has done barely any science and writing.

My son (8 yrs) has to be pushed all the time, as usual.

I also have a 2 yr old- enough said on that topic!

 

I just do not have it in me, under the crisis circumstances, to get my children to stay on top of things with school or keeping up well with their chores.

 

So, I am feeling like a failure this year- I am not sure if we got enough done to call it a year.

 

Anyone else?

[Sue G in PA]

We got through 1/3 (if that) of our history program (MOH) and I just couldn't do it anymore...to much complaining from dc. I know, I know, I'm the mom...I shouldn't have given in to that. Science was also a bust. Ditched that around February in leiu of a very loose nature study which also fizzled due to my own disinterest. Dd11 consistently completes her work but if I'm not right on top of ds9 and ds8...they wander off, find other things to do, etc. My fault. Ds6 pitched such a fit about anything academic that I let him to on strike for a few months and just play ed. games on the computer, read, be read to, etc. He has only now begun to WANT to do work again...thanks to his younger bro., ds5, who actually ASKED to do schoolwork today! I also have a toddler and am expecting #7 any minute (I hope!). You are not a failure. You are doing the best you can do and your children will not suffer in the long run. Give yourself a break this year...pregnant, family crisis...that's a lot to handle. Can you call it quits for a while? Perhaps just do some math and read-alouds, ind. reading? Have the olders read to the toddler, play some fun games, watch some Science and History videos and discuss? It's not what we would want to do in a perfect world/homeschool...but it's reality. You haven't failed...repeat that over and over until it sinks in, okay? You are human. Now, go get some chocolate and take a hot bath! :D Hang in there....

[Once]

I am sending ((Hugs)) to you HOMEfree. I have been there and it is not fun. Time passes and things change. Sue G in PA said it well. Kids are incredibly resiliant and will learn this stuff eventually. You are not behind and they are learning. This is a marathon not a race. You are not a failure you are only going through a tough year.

 

You came to the right place. I am sure people will chime in more support. Congratulations on the little one! My youngest is almost three and I cannot believe how much things have changed in our homeschool in the last year and a half. After this little one arrives you might find yourself feeling stronger and better. Just take care of yourself and try not to do too much.

[JennifersLost]

I've only got one teen to homeschool this year and it's been a bust, too. Instead of "schooling" he's been renovating houses, going on a band trip, and now he's sick. I think he read a bunch of the Aeneid today, but that's about it. We're trying "unschooling" sort of this semester, but I think next year we'll go back to having a plan.

[Jenny in Atl]

Life happens... best you can do is get up and start again. It's an important lesson, that no matter how well you plan, things come up, get in the way, and how we handle this events is not set in stone. Heck, I often feel like a failure even though we have finished most all our curriculum for the year. Sending :grouphug:.

[Cheryl in NM]

:grouphug:

I think an important thing to remember is that even though you didn't get much academic schooling done this year it's okay. There is so much repetition in the public/private school system that your kids could probably learn everything they need to know for the ACT/SAT in just a few years. Beside, remember, homeschooled kids tend to get obssesive about their interests and their interests tend to be academic. Call it a year and commend yourself on what you did get accomplished in the midst of crisis! I'm sure you've done a great job.

[Doran]

I'm sorry -- and believe me, I really do understand where you're coming from. I have been there too. Here's a little nugget to tuck into your heart which will, hopefully, help you let go of the sadness and guilt you have surrounding this time: YOUR CHILDREN ARE LEARNING! Read that line again. And again. They really are. They may not be learning from books, or from the books you had in mind, but they are learning how a family copes with a crisis situation. They are learning what it takes to pull through that without coming completely unglued. They are sharing a commitment to each other and to you that goes beyond any math or science lesson they might have had if the circumstances were different. And, from this, their compassion is being shaped so that when a friend or family member experiences a crisis, they'll know what it feels like, and they'll know how to hone in on what is most important -- how to be supportive when life throws us a major curve ball.

 

I have a godchild who has struggled with serious illness and, as a result, had to be hospitalized for weeks of her senior year in high school. She missed so much school. But, you know what? She managed to graduate with her class by attending night school in her last semester. At the time of her hospitalizations, the most important thing was her well being. The school came later, when it fit within the flow of her life again. And, it all worked out.

 

Be at peace. All will be well.

[CactusPair]

I'm in the failure club this year, too. I got very ill at the end of last summer as school was starting. Then I started a new med that makes me feel like @$%&* . School has been haphazard and I'm filled with guilt. I'm secretly worried that "someone" will find out we've gotten thru so little of the planned material and declare me unfit to homeschool!

 

Anguish, disappointment, guilt, feelings of inadequacy....you know these feelings, too, right?

 

But I've also noticed that my kids have learned a lot of stuff and invented a lot of games and play all by themselves! Their play often involves writing letters and signs and animals and playing with pretend money so it's educational right??!!

 

I bet your kids have learned more and grown more than you realize. And life lessons are essential, too. Whoever said that the schools repeat slo much material is right. I'd forgotten that! I needed to hear that, too.

 

Thanks.

 

It will be okay. Really. I'm trying to be at peace with our particular situation. I hope you can with yours, too.

 

Congratulations on your new addition! Joy!

[CalicoKat]

:grouphug: You're not alone!

 

We're only on week 10 of our history/science/art/Bible program. I'm hoping we'll catch up and be close to finishing early this fall.

 

Our year has been filled with adjusting ADHD meds for one kid, my emergency surgery in January, and 9 months worth of house showing to get out home sold, and now packing it all up and trying to find another place to live before the new house if finished being built.

 

Life happens. I do admit that this year's events has got me really wondering and evaulating curriculum choices for next year differently. I'm looking at non-teacher intensive, self-learning, independent programs.

[H0MEFree]

Do you finish the curriculum if you barely started it?

My history is barely started. (8-10 weeks is done)

Should I keep with that and not worry about buying "new" stuff for next year?

[Philothea]

I had a friend whose hs'ed son had a major medical crisis. They had to slow down and got behind with the other child as well.

 

Once things got better, they made the necessary adjustments and got everyone back on track.

 

If find that if I get de-railed I just take a break (about a week), get caught up on the rest of life and then start again.

 

If you want to get caught up on history, you have all summer. But you could always focus on the basics and start history over gain next year.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

If you like your history program, save it for next year. I'd find some history related novels, perhaps some science videos (Bill Nye) - easy stuff.

 

Kids learn, esp at 13, no matter what we do. To me, the important thing would be to taking care of your family. School can come later.

[UnPrairieMuffin]

so bad about your school year not being done. I have been in a similar situation the past six months. I had a baby in June, tried to start school after Labor Day, and then we found out we'd be moving in October. We sold our home and business, packed 4 kids, 2 cats, and me up so that we could move in Feb. I have just recently started back to school after a 2 month break. It's pretty wild to have to go into the summer with this, but it can be done.

 

I'd do what the other ladies said--just relax. You can't change how you feel about the past, you can only move forward and resolve to do better tomorrow. That's really all that we can do. Your kids aren't out of the house yet, you have plenty of time to study those things that are needful. Regardless of how other children are schooled or how well they do on the ACT in 8th grade, your goal is to educate your daughter in the best way for her. Living life is part of education, and while you are responsible for their education, a short hiatus won't maim their brains for the rest of their lives.

 

So don't panic or hyperventilate--try to keep whole farm in perspective and not just this year's tomatoes.

[Alphabetika]

Your kids will be just fine. They're learning what real life is.

 

We had two years that included my mom's near-death/time on life support and subsequent recovery, my dad's diagnosis and death from lung cancer, and my dh's unexpected emergency back surgery with several months of recovery. Not much got done besides taking care of everyone, at least not that I could see through the haze of stress and grief. But in the end, God blessed the time immensely, in ways that we're still seeing to this day. So, some words for you: Deep breaths, lots of water, and trust!

[Mrs Mungo]

You can get back on track. Do the minimum until the biggies have passed. Then you can make a schedule, develop plans, whatever it takes to get you back into the groove. :grouphug:

[battlemaiden]

I can so understand. You are definitely not alone.

 

We have been pummeled with one "crisis" after another this year. We are off the charts on Selye's stress scale.

 

But we can't "call it a year". We're are going to plug along year round, taking breaks as needed. Honestly? I wouldn't even know what percentage of our math, latin, spelling, or certainly science curriculum is completed. We just do the next thing until the thing is done.

 

To prove it- my almost 12yo just started his formal jrHi science curriculum two weeks ago, and he finished a level in MUS a month ago and the next day started the next level.

 

Thats how we roll.

 

Don't feel like a failure. You are not alone in this crowd. But don't give up either. We'll be here to encourage you along. :grouphug:

 

Jo

[CalicoKat]

Do you finish the curriculum if you barely started it?

My history is barely started. (8-10 weeks is done)

Should I keep with that and not worry about buying "new" stuff for next year?

Yes, we're going to finish it. We are officially year round homeschoolers. :001_smile:

 

Moving right along---well into week 11.

 

It always seems like I start the year sloowly adding one subject at a time. So as we finish/start the next level of materials in reading, writing, & math it's nice that history, Bible, and science are staying the same. Besides, it's important that we get through this period in American history.

 

We'll be finished with it by September and then we'll move on.

[H0MEFree]

Everyone is so encouraging! What a blessing this forum is!