Poll: How long did you date before getting engaged?

[Peela]

We lived together and had 2 kids before we decided to get married and make it official. The kids were 5 and 3.

[IsabelC]

We were only going out for 6 weeks before getting engaged, but made up for it with a long (2 year) engagement. We've been married 14.5 years.

 

I've noticed that there seem to be two distinct kinds of engagements. You can get engaged with a definite plan to get married at a certain time, usually within the next year or two. Or you can get engaged as a kind of halfway step, with the intention of possibly making plans to marry at some time in the future, if you want to. I'm not clear on whether the latter is a reflection of couples being unsure as to whether marriage is relevant for them, or maybe just a way to legitimizing themselves in the eyes of elderly/conservative family members.

[Vanna]

We dated before we became Christians for about 3 months. We went our separate ways for about 2 yrs.

 

We came in contact again and saw each other at church and Bible study.

 

Two years after that, we courted for 2 months and got engaged. Married 4 months later. :)

 

We also "subscribe" to Rhonda in TX dad's motto of short engagements and long marriages. :thumbup:

[journeytolily]

We dated for about 5 months before we got engaged. We got married 13 months later (we wanted to plan a wedding for a certain month). DH says he knew almost immediately that I was the one for him - I knew pretty early on too, that we were meant to be together!

 

Veronica

[LisaKinVA]

We only dated as a couple for 3 months... but we had known each other as good friends for 8.5 years already. We "knew" after our first "official" date that we were getting married. DH spoke to my father around the 45 day mark into the relationship.

 

Both of my BIL's got engaged around the 3 mos. mark too... because we did. They said the 8.5 years we were friends was "irrellevant." One was separated 6 mos. into the marriage. The other... well let's just say life is not as he imagined.

 

ETA: Read through some of the posts. I had dated (seriously) two other young men during this time. I officially broke it off with one at the "ring shopping" phase, when I realized he was more in love with his money than me. The other one I dated, we were supposedly "waiting" for him to finish law school. He even bought me a promise ring. Come to learn, I wasn't waiting for him to finish law school, I was waiting for him to get up the courage to "come out of the closet." I was oblivious (he was the son of a minister...we met at Liberty, s*x and kissing just weren't part of our equation). My dh and I started dating about 1.5 years later. It took me that long to "get over" the young lawyer. DH called me about a week after the breakup, he had just broken up with his long-time gf... My story made him feel so much better ;-)

 

When #1 and I broke up (I was 22), I wasn't worried about finding a "new man." When #2 and I broke up I was nearly 26 -- and not exactly travelling in circles that produced lots of opportunities to meet available young men. I was a bit more concerned. My mother had given up on my ever getting married, and TOLD a few of my USNA kids (I coached there for many years) as much. It took me awhile to really feel comfortable with guys in any serious manner. I could flirt, but I wanted someone who would be my soul mate, and I am not a quick read (I'm a very complex person). Out of all the young men I knew (and I knew quite a few), there were only two that I could imagine marrying. They were both out at sea at the time. They both came back around the same time, but one called me 1 week before the other. In fact the 2nd young man called me the day after my first date with my now DH. At that point I made a choice. It was all or nothing. I could not "go out" with 2nd young man, without essentially kicking my now DH to the curb. Nor, could I toy with 2nd young man. So, I made the choice to marry my now dh, and essentially let the other young man know that while I appreciated his call, and would always be his friend, I couldn't go out with him, as I was seriously involved with now dh.

 

FTR, My dh called his mother that same night and told his mother that he was going to marry me :D We've been on the same wavelength for years!

Edited December 27, 2010 by LisaK in VA

[mytwomonkeys]

engaged at 6 months. married at 10 months. together for over 11 years:D

[Mrs.Gregg]

We became engaged 3mo after our 1st date and married 3mos later. Almost 10yrs in to the marriage I think it was a good choice. :)

[catz]

My DH and I dated for 11 months and were engaged for another 11. We were 29 and 37 when we got married. That was actually a short period of time compared to most people we know. 3 years doesn't seem out of the realm of normal to me at all. And as long as they're ok with it, I guess I don't see why her parents should be bent out of shape about it!

[Susann]

Oh, wow, do I feel like the oddball! We were married on the 10 year anniversary of our first date (we met my sophmore year of college) and we're coming up on our 22nd wedding anniversary. My biological parents had a nasty divorce and I was bound and determined not to repeat their mistakes. I might of gone a little overboard on making sure I knew him really well-he's a very patient man:lol: But all these years later he still makes my heart pitter-patter:001_wub:

[Holly IN]

My hubby and I dated for 3 months then got engaged then got married one year later. We knew we were for each other after a month of dating. :D

[LostSurprise]

2.5 years.

 

He finished college (he was 2 years behind me) and we worked out any issues we had.

 

We needed that time. People talk about a rough first year of marriage. We didn't have that, but we did have a honeymoon baby. Glad everything was worked out ahead of time. I didn't need the pressure.

 

And I don't necessarily think that men get more interested in sex after college. People decide if its worth waiting or not, no matter what age they are. People also decide if they are comfortable in their own time. SIL has to make her own decisions. They aren't weird (I was the one telling dh we would wait...he was ready after 3 months..I'm the careful one), and when she's ready she'll tell him he has to make that decision.