How do you take time off with a child whose brain goes to mush?

[Mom2J112903]

*Cross posted in the special needs forum*

 

So J is not your typical child, he not only has Gastroparesis (his stomach is paralyzed for the most part) but he also has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), with these two combined, it can be very interesting around here.

 

We went to Disney for eight days, we ended up taking 10 days off of school. Even his OT was practically in tears yesterday, things have gotten that "off" since we returned. His handwritting is :001_huh:, he knows and acknowledges that he wrote a letter wrong, erases, but continues to write it incorrectly. That is just the tip of the ice berg, his processing has decreased *so* greatly it is heartwrenching.

 

What is really frustrating DH is J's retention of Math facts. Some he still knows with amazing speed, others it is like we never learned them. Then he has trouble with addition of 1-but he knows his doubles plus 1 with amazing ease. He even sits there and says "5+5=10+1=11" so he obviously understands the concept of adding 1, but when you ask him to add 3+1 (for example) he can not do it.

 

Right now we both agree there can not be such a thing as a week long break, much less take a month off in May or June as orginally planned. *I* need a break though! DH does not do anything with the homeschooling, he says that is my responsibility and honestly, he does get frustrated with J since he does not understand a lot of what J goes thru. I don't expect him to know my son like I do, I have J 24hrs a day-he works and is not home a lot.

 

The OT has some ideas, but that part of me is still so worried, what if it doesn't work, then what?

[Peela]

He is only 7- you have a long road ahead and you are learning how to teach your son as you go. He might be better with shorter days and very few breaks- year round schooling as many do- take breaks only when needed.

And remember....this is now....in another year or two he may well be able to retain more over a break. Handwriting? Wow, my son came home to homeschool age 7.5 and could barely write anything- and he had been in school! His handwriting wasn't legible until he as about 12!

One of the best bits of advice I remember from veteran homeschoolers was to take the long view. I can't remember the way they put it...but something like its a marathon, not a sprint. Don't panic. Plenty of "normal" kids without issues struggle with these things too. I know I pushed my son (who has LDs) too hard at times from my own fear...but they always need you to meet them exctly where they are and move forward slowly from there. Whenever I tried to move too fast, we would invariably have to backtrack.

And enjoy the journey. A 7year old needs to go to Disney too!

[Mom2J112903]

He is only 7- you have a long road ahead and you are learning how to teach your son as you go. He might be better with shorter days and very few breaks- year round schooling as many do- take breaks only when needed.

And remember....this is now....in another year or two he may well be able to retain more over a break. Handwriting? Wow, my son came home to homeschool age 7.5 and could barely write anything- and he had been in school! His handwriting wasn't legible until he as about 12!

One of the best bits of advice I remember from veteran homeschoolers was to take the long view. I can't remember the way they put it...but something like its a marathon, not a sprint. Don't panic. Plenty of "normal" kids without issues struggle with these things too. I know I pushed my son (who has LDs) too hard at times from my own fear...but they always need you to meet them exctly where they are and move forward slowly from there. Whenever I tried to move too fast, we would invariably have to backtrack.

And enjoy the journey. A 7year old needs to go to Disney too!

 

We *do* year around schooling, the thing is J can't go more than 3 days without formal instruction before things go backwards.

 

J was writting *very* well before we went to Disney, so well that we were talking about moving up a level!

 

I don't know how to take time for *myslef* AND J without backtracking every time and sometimes losing something completely.

[....]

Hi! We school year-round for that very reason. We've actually taken December off from school and this is what everybody looks like: :willy_nilly:. I may very well never take a day off from school again. :tongue_smilie:

 

I also agree with Peela. He's only 7. My 7 yro can not retain his math facts yet, either. We switched to CLE Math this year and that REALLY helped - especially my daughter with her math facts. There's a lot of review in CLE. Your son might do well with the spiral approach.

[Mom2J112903]

.

 

I also agree with Peela. He's only 7. My 7 yro can not retain his math facts yet, either. We switched to CLE Math this year and that REALLY helped - especially my daughter with her math facts. There's a lot of review in CLE. Your son might do well with the spiral approach.

 

We have already changed Math curricula (from Saxon) to MUS because he wasn't retaining *anything*. Like I said before, some of it he is and he is using his +1 facts in his doubles +1, so he knows how to do it, he just can't get his processing straight. What is also very bothersome, is on his test, he masters at 100%-then he learns something new and can't go from this to that easily. His processing is backtracking, which is worriesome but that is why we have an OT whom is SI certified working with him.

[Chris in VA]

That sounds so difficult. Could you take a break by hiring a tutor (even an older homeschooled teen) for a few days here and there?

 

You said he has SPD and gastro--has he been diagnosed with other LD issues?

I ask because he loses ground so quickly.

 

I'm sorry it's so hard.

[katilac]

Hi! We school year-round for that very reason. We've actually taken December off from school and this is what everybody looks like: :willy_nilly:. I may very well never take a day off from school again. :tongue_smilie:

 

I also agree with Peela. He's only 7. My 7 yro can not retain his math facts yet, either. We switched to CLE Math this year and that REALLY helped - especially my daughter with her math facts. There's a lot of review in CLE. Your son might do well with the spiral approach.

 

We tried a long summer break once. Never again, lol!

 

Can J handle simple worksheets of stuff he knows well on his own? Like math facts, handwriting, etc? We have always had 'folder work' for the kids to do on their own; I set up a binder with slash jackets for each day of the week, and even when little they could just pull out that day's work.

 

If he can't actually DO review work on his own, can he watch educational videos? what about flash cards on the computer or itouch? We use Byki, I am sure there are plenty of others, and it has a "look and learn" type setting, where you are simply reviewing the cards (not attempting to answer). Maybe he can listen to math/other facts? Play simple learning games? This can all be done on a computer, but also on almost any smart phone. If it seems to help, I'd buy him his own itouch.

 

I agree that short days with fewer breaks may be the way to go. It's what we have wound up doing, with older, neurotypical kids, and it works great. I don't miss the longer breaks, b/c we have time for fun, interesting things along the way. When we push, push, push and then take a break, I waste half of it b/c I'm sitting there recovering, kwim? Altho' we do break a full week for Disney! Well, not quite, they have stuff for the long car ride there and back :D

[texasmama]

That sounds so difficult. Could you take a break by hiring a tutor (even an older homeschooled teen) for a few days here and there?

 

You said he has SPD and gastro--has he been diagnosed with other LD issues?

I ask because he loses ground so quickly.

 

I'm sorry it's so hard.

 

These are my thoughts, as well. :grouphug:

 

How long has he had OT? My son with SPD and learning issues has received years of OT. We recently had a 3 week break and he was a mess, both in his motorical agitation and in falling apart during schoolwork. His OT said she had not seen him like that in a very long time. OT helps him so much. He has made so many gains academically since restarting OT. (He had it for years during his preschooler/early elem. years, but he was dismissed. We restarted this year after some further testing.) My son is 10, and I have figured out that this is a long term issue.

[Mom2J112903]

That sounds so difficult. Could you take a break by hiring a tutor (even an older homeschooled teen) for a few days here and there?

 

You said he has SPD and gastro--has he been diagnosed with other LD issues?

I ask because he loses ground so quickly.

 

I'm sorry it's so hard.

 

I do not even know of an older homeschooling child whom would be able to do this, it would be great though! Our homeschooling area is rather small unfortunatly.

 

No other issues and he has been tested for them. We feel his SPD is so severe and combined with his Gastro issues that overwhelm his entire body, he is constantly playing catch-up.

 

We tried a long summer break once. Never again, lol!

 

Can J handle simple worksheets of stuff he knows well on his own? Like math facts, handwriting, etc? We have always had 'folder work' for the kids to do on their own; I set up a binder with slash jackets for each day of the week, and even when little they could just pull out that day's work.

 

If he can't actually DO review work on his own, can he watch educational videos? what about flash cards on the computer or itouch? We use Byki, I am sure there are plenty of others, and it has a "look and learn" type setting, where you are simply reviewing the cards (not attempting to answer). Maybe he can listen to math/other facts? Play simple learning games? This can all be done on a computer, but also on almost any smart phone. If it seems to help, I'd buy him his own itouch.

 

I agree that short days with fewer breaks may be the way to go. It's what we have wound up doing, with older, neurotypical kids, and it works great. I don't miss the longer breaks, b/c we have time for fun, interesting things along the way. When we push, push, push and then take a break, I waste half of it b/c I'm sitting there recovering, kwim? Altho' we do break a full week for Disney! Well, not quite, they have stuff for the long car ride there and back :D

 

He is doing his math drills on line right now, I found the MUS drill page and it was such a relief. I can't belive I didn't know it was there before!

 

Right now we are working on his handwritting, he is sitting beside me :) We do watch some TV but J is such a visual seeker, we really have to watch how much TV time, even educational time he gets.

 

I feel badly because some days we only get an hour of school in, and other days we get 3-4hrs in-per J's request.

 

These are my thoughts, as well. :grouphug:

 

How long has he had OT? My son with SPD and learning issues has received years of OT. We recently had a 3 week break and he was a mess, both in his motorical agitation and in falling apart during schoolwork. His OT said she had not seen him like that in a very long time. OT helps him so much. He has made so many gains academically since restarting OT. (He had it for years during his preschooler/early elem. years, but he was dismissed. We restarted this year after some further testing.) My son is 10, and I have figured out that this is a long term issue.

 

J was dx with SPD when he was 19 months of age, he has had OT off/on since then. We finally found an OT whom is SI trained which has helped *so* much before then he was with an OT whom didn't know a lot about SPD and we actually stopped OT at that time. His first OT was wonderful but she is in W.Va and we are AL, hence the having to look and wait until the new practice was open with SI certified OTs.