Problems with coed basketball?

[Mimm]

When we sat down and discussed extracurricular activities with our kids over the summer, Imogen wanted to be in basketball. She's never played before and has wanted to for a while. I looked into it and found a homeschool league in our area and she was very excited. Nine year olds are among the youngest players in that particular league, but we went to orientation, only to find out that the 10 and under girls' team wasn't going to be able to be formed. They only had a few girls interested, and no coaches. We waited around for them to decide what to do about it, but were later informed that it wasn't going to happen. A 10 and under boys' team was formed.

 

So, looking into other options, we joined an Upwards league forming at a nearby church. Imogen had her first practice on Tuesday. There are five girls on her team. For those who know absolutely nothing about basketball, there are five people from each team on court at any given time. And there's a LOT of running involved. Leaving a player, especially at that age and level of experience, in a game the entire time except for breaks between quarters seems really rough to me. The coordinator of the program called me today asking to switch Imogen to another team because one other girl had some kind of schedule conflict with her swim team, and he commented that he needed someone to switch because there are five girls for each team. I took the opportunity to ask about the five players and play time and he said they were thinking of having only four players on court during games. I mentioned that the boys teams were much larger (like 8-10 players from what I could tell) and he said that yes, the boys had more interest but they try to keep them separate after kindergarten.

 

So this has me irritated. Kindergarten? I can see not wanting coed teams after puberty when you've got raging hormones that will distract players and kids all growing at different rates and boys having perhaps an unfair advantage over some of the girls as the boys get taller and stronger. But 3rd and 4th graders can't play basketball together? The boys are going to have a well rounded team and a good playing experience, while the girls are going to exhaust themselves and get to play fewer teams because there aren't as many. And I just don't understand the reason for this, so maybe someone here can enlighten me? The homeschool league obviously had the same issue with boys and girls playing together and they let the girls go without a team this year rather than combine them.

 

Would you be uncomfortable in some way with your child playing on a coed team at this age? If so, why? Is there something I'm overlooking here? There's really nothing I can do about it at this point. Imogen wants to play and it's too late in the year to get her on another team, so we're just going to deal with it, but it's frustrating. I should have just signed up her up at the Y. :glare:

[Margo out of lurking]

Would you be uncomfortable in some way with your child playing on a coed team at this age? If so, why? Is there something I'm overlooking here? There's really nothing I can do about it at this point. Imogen wants to play and it's too late in the year to get her on another team, so we're just going to deal with it, but it's frustrating. I should have just signed up her up at the Y. :glare:

 

My kids have both played on co-ed soccer teams for 2.5 years/five seasons. This is ds's last season on the 9-12yo team. He's a big kid, 5'7", 130 lbs. There are some little 9 year olds out there (boys and girls), although his size makes him a little slower.

 

Dd is also 5'7" but 15 lbs. lighter. She goes up against 6'2", 200 lb.+ boys all the time in the 13+ league. The only time it gets a little hairy is when some of these giant boys ignore the fact that they are playing girls and try to literally mow them down. It's a rec league but they are competitive, and I don't expect them to give in to the girls, but neither should they disregard them completely. Somewhere there's a balance. Dd is more intimated by the smaller kids, because they are quick and unpredictable.

 

It's often physical, people fall, fight for the ball (okay, not fistfight!), use elbows illegally, try to trip, etc.

 

Girls are allowed to play down for an additional year, i.e., a 13 year old girl has the option to play on the 9-12 team. Boys don't have the option. She's never been hurt by someone just because they were a boy.

 

There may be raging hormones, but I've never noticed them ON the field.

 

Ds will be playing co-ed basketball this winter.

 

I wasn't too sure about the co-ed thing, worried about being more easily injured, when we started, but I have no problems with it now.

 

I'm sorry your dd won't be able to play this season. :(

[HeatherM2]

My daughter played Upwards basketball last year (at the age of 9) and there was only 1 other girl on her team. The boys were a little more aggressive about getting the ball, but we had a coach that made sure they passed it to the girls as well. Also at this age, the girls were taller than most of the boys, so they had that to their advantage. It all worked out fine and they had a great year.

 

I couldn't imagine the girls having to play the whole time. That is a lot of running up and down the court. :grouphug:

[jlovebaker]

for a few years now. She is often the only girl at tournaments where there are hundreds of boys. She has always been treated with respect by the umps and other kids (especially after they've seen her play). We've had no problems although it probably helps that her twin brother is on the team and that the coach thinks she's great.

 

For basketball, she is on a girls' rec team and she is bored to tears ... there are some great girl athletes, but they are just not on this team so she enjoys playing on the boys' rec team alot more.

 

Oh, my daughter is 11 ... but she often practices with the 13 year old boys for basketball. For baseball, she's playing a year up. I do see that in a few years, she will be one of the smaller ones though. At some point, she won't be as strong as the boys - for right now, she's still going strong. Our local highschool does a have a female baseball player.

 

I think it's wrong to offer a sport to just the boys and not the girls (if they are not enough girls for a team - the girls should get to play on the boys). Have they not heard of Title IX??? :)

 

So your daughter does get to play ... sorry. I also misread your post. However, I don't think that your daughter is being presented with an equal opportunity though if there are so few girls on the team ... I think they will be extremely tired girls and not competitive in the second half of the game. That's ridiculous to play 5 girls for the whole game and I guess my original question remains: Have they not heard of Title IX? EQUAL opportunity - this is not equal by any means. Plus in our league, we have to start with more then 5 ... we need 7 - probably to allow for injury and rest! It doesn't seem safe to play 5 girls that hard. Just my two cents ...

Edited December 2, 2010 by jlovebaker
Misunderstood

[Tess in the Burbs]

each league of Upward runs it differently. We are getting ready to play/and coach in a new league and it never occurred to me the teams may be single gender since our last league was co-ed all the way up to 6th grade. No, the kids can't play a full game like that. Our team 2 years ago was always sick and I was lucky to have 5 players most weeks and begged to play only 4 kids at a time so one could rest but the other coach said no so they all had to play the whole game. I was so mad and felt bad for the kids. at that point it wasn't fun.

 

Hope you find a solution!

[Mimm]

 

I'm sorry your dd won't be able to play this season. :(

 

Sorry if I was unclear. She WILL be able to play, I'm just unhappy with how the team is run. I feel that the girls should be combined with the boys and it would make it a better experience for the girls without making it a negative experience for the boys and I'm not understanding why this isn't an option. I should say that Upward is a Christian organization so maybe they're just... prudes. :p No offense to Christians. Or prudes. ;)

[Mimm]

My daughter played Upwards basketball last year (at the age of 9) and there was only 1 other girl on her team. The boys were a little more aggressive about getting the ball, but we had a coach that made sure they passed it to the girls as well. Also at this age, the girls were taller than most of the boys, so they had that to their advantage. It all worked out fine and they had a great year.

 

I couldn't imagine the girls having to play the whole time. That is a lot of running up and down the court. :grouphug:

 

Ok so if I'm understanding, your daughter was on an Upwards team with both boys and girls? So this means that this no mixing rule isn't an Upwards rule but a rule specific to the church I chose... Bleh. :p

 

Edit: I should read ahead. Thanks for the info Tess, but now I'm not sure what to do. If it's not an Upwards rule, I'm even more annoyed that this church has made this rule and is depriving the girls of a good basketball experience.

[Margo out of lurking]

Sorry if I was unclear. She WILL be able to play, I'm just unhappy with how the team is run. I feel that the girls should be combined with the boys and it would make it a better experience for the girls without making it a negative experience for the boys and I'm not understanding why this isn't an option. I should say that Upward is a Christian organization so maybe they're just... prudes. :p No offense to Christians. Or prudes. ;)

 

I'm sorry I misunderstood! Our co-ed league is a Christian homeschool league. You know what prudes they can be. I can say that though, because I'm one of them.:lol:

 

And our 9-12 girls are expected to run just as much as the boys. Girls or boys, it makes no difference. I've never noticed a difference in their stamina, 9-12, or 13+ teams either.

[Danestress]

But my boys would enjoy an all boy team more. Call it sexist, I don't know. I think they would feel freer to play competitively.

 

My boys no longer play team sports. One plays tennis and his best hitting partner is a girl. They train together all the time, and it's great because they never have to play each other in tournament play, so they sincerely cheer for each other but also play hard against each other in practice. My other son is a swimmer and trains with girls.

 

So we don't have problem with girls, and in fact I really enjoy those sports because they do form real relationships with awesome girl athletes.

 

But I think a sport like basketball and can be very "man on man" physical is hard to do co-ed as they get older. Even though 8 year olds certainly could do it, and some the boys and girls could well be equally matched, in their minds, you have to be a little more careful around girls. And honestly, I WANT my boys to be more careful around girls. If they knocked a boy down, oh well. If they knocked a girl down, I would absolutely die and so would they.

 

I totally see how this works against girls on so many levels, and I am not saying it's right. I feel for you and your situation. But I also understand why that league might choose to arrange things that way.

 

I guess my big question would be, why don't more girls play basketball? There are tons of girls playing soccer.

[HeatherM2]

Ok so if I'm understanding, your daughter was on an Upwards team with both boys and girls? So this means that this no mixing rule isn't an Upwards rule but a rule specific to the church I chose... Bleh. :p

 

Edit: I should read ahead. Thanks for the info Tess, but now I'm not sure what to do. If it's not an Upwards rule, I'm even more annoyed that this church has made this rule and is depriving the girls of a good basketball experience.

 

Yes, my daughter was on an Upwards team so it just depends on the church. I also wanted to say that my daughter got knocked down on the court a few times by boys and it really was no different then if she were playing with all girls and got knocked down. In other words none of the boys stopped playing the game because they felt bad about knocking a girl down, nor did she sit there and cry about being knocked down. At this age, and in a church league, I don't think the kids really care if they are playing with both boys and girls..

[Caroline]

 

I guess my big question would be, why don't more girls play basketball? There are tons of girls playing soccer.

 

Girls play soccer because that is where the college scholarships are. Fast pitch and soccer have a lot of scholarships for women.

 

My kids don't play on co-ed teams. I don't have a problem with co-ed teams, but it just turns out our teams aren't. However, my oldest plays soccer against co-ed teams. He plays rec soccer, and rec teams are sometimes hard to fill at the U16 age group. The girls go toe to toe with the boys. It is never a problem.

[AndyJoy]

I am not firmly against co-ed teams, but I will say that I have had several bad experiences with co-ed teams that have made me think long and hard about the merits of each.

 

When I was in 6th grade, my PE teacher had me play basketball with the boys to even out the groups. Only 2 of the boys were taller than me, and I was an aggressive player, so I held my own quite well. However, like it or not, there is a stigma for a boy to get "beaten" by a girl. Thus, after I blocked several shots made by the biggest boy there, the other boys were teasing him mercilessly. I was not gloating at all and felt a bit bad for him. After angrily trying to get the boys to stop teasing him, he took it out on me instead. He and his best friend made obnoxious sexual comments about my physical contact with him during the game. Yes, what he did was completely inappropriate and out of line, but I later sympathized with his feeling of being trapped and having his pre-pubescent ego trampled. He couldn't win in that situation.

 

I think boys in co-ed sports can be caught in a tough spot. If a girl "beats" them, they get mocked. If they "beat" a girl, who cares? They're "supposed" to be better than a girl anyway.

 

My sister has always been very athletic and could hold her own with the boys from the beginning. She also loves to tease, harass, and mock the boys she played against. She delighted in beating boys and lording it over them. So not only did they get teased by the other boys, but they got it straight from my sister as well. Basically, in her case it often amounted to a kind of bullying, but no adult ever put a stop to it or even paid any attention to it. Had a boy done this to her, I'm sure it would have been stopped.

 

I have more stories from my year teaching a semester each of jr. high girls' and boys' PE (with some days combined), but I don't have time to get into that.

 

In a perfect world, I think it would be great for boys and girls to play together. However, I think there are some good reasons for them to play separately. Physical & mental maturity timelines, type of physical contact, cultural issues, personality issues, etc. all come into play for me. I think in general it is easier for a coach/teacher to deal with one gender because it cuts down on some of the possible problems they could encounter.

[RanchGirl]

In my opinion, boys play too rough and there is too much physical contact in basketball to play co-ed. My boys are both on traveling teams and they also played house in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade, and I've watched girls play in the house leagues as well (good friend has a daughter who plays bball).

 

But I'm not familiar with Upwards, maybe they play in a kinder, gentler way, or maybe the boys in our area are just generally meaner (could be the cold weather, being stuck inside, it sure makes me meaner!!).

 

Maybe you can recruit friends and other homeschoolers to help fill up the teams?

[Melissa in Australia]

I have no idea what upwards basketball is, but I am involved heavily in the local basketball where I live. We have gone separate sexes for the last 2 years. We found (meaning the basketball committee and refs.) that it was especially important in the younger ages. The boys just dominated the game, and the girls hardly got to touch the ball. In the older ages, the boys and girls played mix sexes much better.

We have only a small town, and nearly all age groups have a team of only 5, and most of the teams have kids form lower age groups that play up eg. ds 12 played in both U14 and U16/18, and my ds7 played in U12.

As far a coaches goes, it is up to the parents to become coaches. There are no other coaches at all, and the parents might not necessarily have any idea about basketball (ME!)