various questions about 4th grader

[dm379]

My dd is 9 and in 4th grade. She's been back and forth homeschooled and public schooled. This year I got tired of moving to a new place and hearing how wonderful the school is only to find out the opposite and pull them. So we're homeschool for good, or at least until high school. We'll decide when we get there. So...

 

1. Do you make them complete an assignment that they don't like? For example, she has to write a report on a book a week. She typically hates every book every week and cries horribly over having to read something she doesn't like. So most of the time I let her stop about 1/3 of the way through and just write about what she's read and why she hates it. This is the ONLY thing she fights me on.

 

2. When do you make the work harder? Logic stage? Or high school? I'm letting her go easy this year to get used to the transition.

 

3. What are the consequences for not doing school work? Same as if she doesn't do chores or other disobedience? I'm not sure how blurred the parent/teacher line should be. No problems with this yet but just concerned about the future.

 

4. How do I know I'm not forcing too much on her, especially too soon? I have high expectations, especially for her since she's gifted (she doesn't know, we never told her and don't plan on it) and I know she's capable of a lot. How do I know I'm not burning her out?

 

5. How do you handle "when I was brother's age I had to do X how come he doesn't?" Ds7 is way behind where she was at that age and she frequently complains about how he doesn't have to do as much as she did.

[Dawn in OH]

For example, she has to write a report on a book a week. She typically hates every book every week and cries horribly over having to read something she doesn't like. So most of the time I let her stop about 1/3 of the way through and just write about what she's read and why she hates it. This is the ONLY thing she fights me on.

 

 

 

Are you determining what book she reads and writes the report on?

 

For us, I check out a bunch of books that I feel are good reading and then let the kids pick which one they will read.

 

She might hate the assignment less if she has some small control over it.

[LinRTX]

Well, I think a book report a week is too much. My daughter would baulk at that even though she loves to read. We only do one or two book reports a year (actual writen ones). She reads much more than that, and we talk about the book. That said if I assign a book she will read it. The only books I allow her to stop are the ones she chooses from the library that I know are too difficult for her and she insists on anyway.

 

I slowly ramp up the work every year. And I would go easy on her during the transition.

 

The problem with gifted/bright children is they are capable of so much, but are still children and need to act like children. I usually just work for so many hours a day. We make certain we do math and language arts (reading/grammar/spelling) everyday. The rest is gravy.

 

The consequence for not doing school work is not having playtime. (As long as the amount of work is reasonable.)

 

And complaints about brother not having the same amount of work is simply you are two different people and I treat you differently. Did you homeschool her at that age?

 

Linda

[NanceXToo]

My daughter is 10 and in 5th grade, and both last year (age 9, 4th grade) and this year (age 10, 5th grade) our curriculum (Oak Meadow) has always assigned a book which she generally has THREE weeks to read and then the fourth to write a report on. So like one book report a month?

 

So I think that a book a week is too much, like another poster said.

 

I also agree that she may fight less if she has some control over what she's reading. Maybe you can let HER pick the book, instead of you picking it for her. Or at least give her some choices, reasonable ones for her age and interest level.

 

And also, what kind of book report are you making her write? Because you can find some really interesting/creative ones that would be much less dull than a 'standard' book report.

 

Maybe she can write a letter to a character addressing their behavior.

 

Maybe she can write a new ending to a story.

 

Maybe she can add in a new chapter or adventure to a story.

 

Maybe she can draw her own comic strip or storyboard kind of thing.

 

Maybe she can talk about how a particular event would have turned out differently if a character had made a different decision than he actually did at one point.

 

Maybe she can compare and contrast her life to the character's life.

 

Maybe she can make a diorama.

 

Maybe she can make a video presentation of an oral report, or pretend she's a news reporter on the scene, as if the story were really happening.

 

I'd also consider how MUCH you're making her write.

[dm379]

Are you determining what book she reads and writes the report on?

 

 

We've done where I choose, where I give her a choice of a few and where she chooses. Same results. She used to love reading but ever since her horrid ps experience last year it's been really, really hard to find something she enjoys.

 

The "report" is one page typed double-spaced, not graded for spelling or grammar just content. She usually knocks it out in about 5 - 10 minutes so I am not requiring much. She's never had any problem with the reports, just the books.

[Sasharowan]

1. Assignments are too be completed. If there is a problem with the assignment, talk to me after school is done and we will see what can be done to accomodate the problem, but I usually don't drop assignments in the middle of school because "It's too hard!" or "I don't like it!" Give me reasons when school is done for the day. As for reading, for my 4th and 5th graders, I hand them a stack of 3-7 books and say choose one. I have only let them stop in the middle of a book 2-3 times. Once I realized I had assigned a book from older son's pile to dd (8th grade level when she was 4th) and another time when ds had REALLY tried and just could not stand the book. 4-5th graders read 1-3 chapters a day depending on the book. We discuss the book, but instead of book report, they may write a paragraph describing their favorite character or tell what they would have done in that situation. But we talk it over before they write and I often will note down what they say when we talk and then let them write from my notes. Also we alternate writing based on books with writing based on science or history.

 

2. Work gradually gets harder each year, but it is hard to say when to really ramp up. Kids reach the logic stage mentally at different times. Watch for ability to reason logically.

 

3. Consequences here for not doing school work: having to work in the evenings (and no guarantee for Mom's help either, Mom has to cook etc.) or weekends. No electronics until work is done (TV, computer, video games) Things like sports, theater, etc. where others are depending on them being there still happen, but no extra social time before or after.

 

4. Usually balking at school work either means it is too hard or too easy. Figuring out which one is the hard part.

 

5. "Your brother is working at the level he needs to be at and you are working where you need to be. Now do your work and get your nose out of your brother's work!" I usually get wistful sighs of "Why can't I go back to multiplication instead of Algebra." I have to remind him that multiplication was just as hard when he first saw it as algebra is now.

[Sasharowan]

She used to love reading but ever since her horrid ps experience last year it's been really, really hard to find something she enjoys.

With this, I would concentrate on finding the love of reading again without pressure of reports. Even if it means you read to her for a while and enjoy the story together. My dd loves to read a book knowing she can watch it as a movie after she is done.

[Catherine]

He does everything, or nearly everything, when I am sitting with him. He would not have the organizational skills to consistently work from a list of assignments, and given his processing issues, much of it would be wrong anyway. So I pretty much sit with him and guide him as he works. This has the added benefit of eliminating conflicts over when and whether work was completed. It is ALWAYS completed, correctly, because he doesn't leave the table until it is. We don't have conflicts over this either, because it has been a daily feature of our schooling forever.

 

I wouldn't force a kid to do something they truly hated. The difficulty is distinguishing between hatred and fatigue, dislike, preference, etc. I allow them to choose all unassigned reading, and "free" reading just has to be approved and not comic books. I allowed my 9 yo to not finish an audiobook earlier this year, an abridgement of Kidnapped, because he simply didn't understand the language and lost interest. I think it's important to put some effort into figuring ut what they just cannot tolerate. I also work a lot with him on character issues like patience, perseverence, work habits. It's all a process.

[NanceXToo]

With this, I would concentrate on finding the love of reading again without pressure of reports. Even if it means you read to her for a while and enjoy the story together. My dd loves to read a book knowing she can watch it as a movie after she is done.

 

:iagree:

 

Yeah. In this case, I'd want to try to get her to enjoy reading more than I'd want weekly book reports. Letting her choose her own books with regular library trips is one way. Signing her up (IF she wants) for a library book club or some such where she might get to see OTHER kids enjoying reading too might work. Definitely saying you'll rent the movie after you read the book so you can compare it (conversationally) is a great idea. Reading together is a good idea (sometimes my daughter likes to be read to, sometimes she likes me to read to her, sometimes we take turns reading aloud to each other).

 

She also enjoys trying things that the main character in her book tried. Like after reading and watching Heidi, we tried goat's milk. (Yuck. But still. lol). When we read about how Addy (American Girl) got to choose her own birthday and they had an ice cream party, we put Addy's birthday on our calendar and the next year, we had ice cream.

 

Also maybe a visual display of the books she finishes might be fun for her... like making a colorful construction paper 'chain' that you can add another link to for every book read and hang it over her bed or some such.

 

Just try to make it fun again. :)