When do you let your teen read books with....

[Phoatogirl]

Hi,

 

I'm searching for books for my almost 16 year old boy to read that are for "fun". Probably along the lines of modern fiction.

 

My question is, when do you let your teens read books with the f-word, brief s--ual situations or refences to the same? I just read Misery by Stephen King and think my son would enjoy it as a light, easy read, but there are about 20 uses of the f-word and maybe 4 s--ual references.

 

My son expressed interest in The Girl With the Pearl Earring, which is historical fiction about the painter Vermeer. I scanned through it. No curse words at all. No situations so far. I'm almost finishe but in nearly the last chapter there is one paragraph where the main character is emotionally distressed and gives herself to the suitor she really doesn't love. So there are 3 descriptive, factual sentences of what happened. Do I scratch this book? The King?

 

Of course my son knows how babies are made, knows that they are often created when they should have been, knows about occasions of sin, etc. Also has heard cursing many times (not in our house).

 

Am I having trouble letting go??

[Mommyfaithe]

I let my son read This Perfect Day by Ira Levin, remembering it as a Utopian type sci-fi with ethical issues. DO NOT GIVE THIS ONE TO YOUR SON....He spent a few days looking at me funny after he stayed up all night reading it. I then took it with me to read at a swim meet that weekend. I was aghast!! It was absolutely filty...but still a great read...:glare:

anyway, I pretty much can now let him read whatever he wants...LOL...after that book,.

 

I think around 16 or 17, the kids have heard all sorts of stuff from friends or in the locker room etc. They have watched movies that were banned in our home at their friends home....etc. I even found out my older son read the entire Harry Potter series at his cousins...Oh well, at least I TRIED to protect them.

 

My only advice is to read what your son reads...it opens the doors to lots of discussion and then continue to whet his appetite for GOOD literature and Great books, so that he knows the difference between literature and junk reading.

 

Good Luck,

I know it's not easy...

Faithe

[Storm Bay]

I think at 16 a book with one paragraph on it is fine, but I'd also discuss the ethics & morals you feel strongly about in regard to that. In a couple of years he'll be in university/college and may be reading all kinds of things, and it may be better to let him touch on some of that now at home when you can still be more involved with what he reads.

[Jenn in CA]

16 was the age my boys were ready for that, roughly. My boys are pretty much allowed to watch and read whatever Dad reads/watches now.

[Ravin]

I will probably let DD read whatever she wants to read, whenever she's old enough to be able to read it.

 

I read Clan of the Cave Bear when I was 13, and I turned out okay...

 

I do expect I'll do more discussing of such books with DD than my parents did with me. Unlike them, I'm more likely to be able to keep up with her, reading-wise...

[Dana]

I will probably let DD read whatever she wants to read, whenever she's old enough to be able to read it.

 

I read Clan of the Cave Bear when I was 13, and I turned out okay...

 

 

I was 11 for that and Valley of the Horses. My mom said if she'd read Valley first, she'd have kept me from reading it. Too late!

I was probably middle school/early high school for This Perfect Day as well.

 

I think it'll be interesting to watch as ds gets older and see where his interests lie. I'm far more likely to let him read a story rather than watch a video with similar content - and I'm more concerned about graphic violence than with language and sex - although he'll sure get plenty of all if he reads the classics in high school. :lol:

[Laura Corin]

Calvin has been reading books like this for about the last six months. He already knew the words and decided that he was ready to read books with some sex.

 

Laura

[Jenn in CA]

My fave teen boy fun fiction recommendations are The 39 Steps (and the entire Greenmantle series) and The Scarlet Pimpernel, both of which are very clean.

[IsabelC]

At that age, I would pretty much let a child read whatever he chooses, unless a book is so terrible that I'm not prepared to allow it into the house. As for sexual content, well, bearing in mind that 99% of 15yo boys look at porn (OK I'm too lazy to look up the stat but I can assure you it is the overwhelming majority) I'd be thrilled to have a son who'd rather read a sex scene in the context of a work of literature.

[lagirl]

We have 3 adult children and our youngest DD is 15.

It's my opinion and experience that it is ok for a boy your son's age to read the books you mentioned. I would simply use the offending part as a particular "talking point" between the two of you. I feel we learn by discussion rather than avoidance. Now you still have the opportunity to add your input; you won't have that in a couple of years. I'd say use it to your advantage...I know these are tough calls. .

[Yolanda in Mass]

This is an area where it's really up to the family and the standards they have set for themselves. I won't read any books with sex scenes or filthy language because that type of content truly offends me and troubles me, I always feel like a voyeur, so I'm not going to recommend this type of material for my boys, 20 and 17. They're certainly at an age where they can choose otherwise, but it is a slippery slope. How much filth is too much? Same goes for movies. I prefer not to watch R rated movies for the same reason. Exceptions are movies rate R for thematic material. The movie "The Pianist" comes to mind. Again, personal choices, personal standards.

 

Yolanda

Edited November 14, 2010 by Yolanda in Mass
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