My dad is diabetic.... What now?

[Sahamamama]

About two weeks ago, we received confirmation that my dad (78) is diabetic. His blood sugar was 185, his A1C was 9. The other day before breakfast, his blood sugar was 117. I don't really know what these numbers mean yet.

 

My mom and dad have attended one session on diabetes management; they have the second workshop to attend today. My dad seems to be taking this rather matter-of-factly -- he blames himself for eating too many cookies :glare: -- but I'm not sure how he'll adjust in the long-run.

 

My mom (75) is only one week into the "diet" and seems tired of figuring out every single thing my dad eats. IDK, she just seems kind of depressed about life right now, and she's not a woe-is-me kind of person. Is this normal for a spouse after a diagnosis of diabetes?

 

If you've been told that a parent has diabetes, or you're diabetic, what advice could you share? Are those numbers so bad for a 78 year old man in otherwise decent health? I'm a bit skeptical that my dad is on the extreme end of "bad, bad" diabetes, not that any level is good news. But he's not super overweight. A few extra pounds around the middle, yes. He "exercises" every day, but his idea of exercise is to simply keep moving.

 

He's the kind of man who is always 13 years old on the inside. ;) He would love to take a fishing pole to the creek in the woods every day and just be outdoors. Seriously, this old retired construction worker can't sit still for long periods of time -- so he's out in the garden, in the wood pile, going to the store, walking around the block with the grandbabies, doing yard work, sorting out the junk in the garage, and so on... He also works at an auto auction one day per week, walking to and driving cars. He stays active in many ways, but he does like to eat those cookies. :glare:

 

I cook from scratch for my own family, and then we'll often take a small dish of whatever it is over to my parents -- soups, stews, casseroles, etc. -- just enough for them to have a meal when they're worn out a bit. What should I cook for them? We've always done a lot here with dried beans. I've heard they're good for leveling out blood sugar. :bigear:

[jplain]

He's not on the extreme end of it, but his A1C indicates that he's at very high risk of a heart attack.

 

I'd advise him to decrease carbs dramatically (see Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution). If he's reluctant to change his diet, I'd advise him to ask his doctors about metformin/glucophage, which they're probably already considering. I'm not a fan of the other glucose lowering meds, and I'd encourage him to avoid them if possible.

 

Edited to add: beans are actually quite high in carbs, so those may not be helpful for him. I'd stick with meats and veggies, and go easy on starchy veggies like carrots and potatoes.

Edited November 8, 2010 by jplain

[jplain]

Forgot to mention, it is totally normal for your mom to be emotional about this. It is normal to be depressed, angry, frightened, even grieving. For many people, what they eat is part of their identity, and being told to change it is shockingly hard to accept. She may also be dwelling on thoughts of her own and your father's mortality. Let her talk it out, and advise her to talk to her doctor if it looks like her depression isn't lifting. But this transition can be really tough, especially if she's the one who is responsible for meal planning.

Edited November 8, 2010 by jplain

[Heather in OK]

I would encourage them that this dx doesn't mean he will have it forever. My FIL is in his early 70s and was dx'd earlier this year. He and MIL changed their diet (not drastically...but FIL did have to lay off the candy bars ;)). Your description of you dad sounds just like my FIL...always on the go. A couple months ago he had a recheck and his numbers were perfectly normal.

[Spryte]

I would encourage them that this dx doesn't mean he will have it forever. My FIL is in his early 70s and was dx'd earlier this year. He and MIL changed their diet (not drastically...but FIL did have to lay off the candy bars ;)). Your description of you dad sounds just like my FIL...always on the go. A couple months ago he had a recheck and his numbers were perfectly normal.

 

Yes - this is so true, even for people who are very out of shape.

 

My mom was diagnosed, and it scared her to pieces. She is single, and the thought of being alone and sick was daunting. Her diagnosis was a blessing.

 

Prior to diagnosis, she would joke that she had perfected the Dorito-Caffeine diet, and her night-time ritual included a tub of ice cream in her lap. Yuck. Obviously, she was overweight.

 

Her doctor did an excellent job explaining what/how to change. She made it simple for my mother to understand and implement.

 

The basic version (for her): eat nothing that's white. No sugar, no white bread, white potatoes, nothing containing white flour, etc.

 

My mom was scared enough to follow it to the letter. It's been 2 years. She has lost 50+ lbs, very slowly, and it has stayed off.

 

She is no longer considered diabetic, but she's changed her way of eating forever.

 

It was the best thing that could have happened for her!

 

 

 

 

(Now the other end of the spectrum... my MIL and FIL are both diabetic and continue to eat sugar. So frustrating! They hide it in the house, and sneak it. MIL was just hospitalized for a blood sugar level of 534! Yikes.)

[Tammyla]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I feel for you and your mom, and of course your dad. I'd learn what I could and keep good eating (both meal and snack) options around in the right sized portions for him.

[MotherGoose]

My father in law had diabetes, until he had a gastric bypass. So do grandparents-in-law. I'd think that some depression is normal, I'd feel that way if I suddenly couldn't have "bad" food in the house :) My experience as the d-i-l is that you might want to make sure they don't remain in denial and completely understand what they have to do. For example, my dh grandparents persistently thought (think?) that a glass of OJ is fine every morning. They've always had it, and I am sure it's hard to change your ways after 80 years. Understanding the definition of "whole foods" versus processed junk, the junk being what they have always eaten, is difficult. As is a switch to whole wheat bread, because they grew up in a time when only the poor ate that and if you were well off, you ate white. I wasn't this way with my in-laws, but with my own parents I'd be pretty direct about "why is this in the house??" when you see cookies, etc out there. I would much rather have a lot of things than diabetes. Not fun for anyone I am sure!:grouphug:

[teeleigh2000]

Just FWIW carrots are non-starchy:

 

http://www.diabetes.org/food-and-fitness/food/what-can-i-eat/non-starchy-vegetables.html

 

 

and here's the full story on beans:

 

http://www.diabetes.org/food-and-fitness/food/what-can-i-eat/diabetes-superfoods.html

[jplain]

Regarding the diabetes.org links in teeleigh2000's post, this may sound strange, but I do NOT consider the American Diabetes Association to be the best source of information on nutrition for diabetics. I find their approach to be greatly flawed. In general, they try too hard to allow type II diabetics to continue eating something close to the standard American diet. This may make for more compliant patients, but it doesn't make them healthier, in either the short or long term. The result is that diabetics end up taking more medication than necessary (gee, I wonder who benefits from this?) to compensate for inadequate dietary modifications, and they also end up over-taxing their pancreases (pancrei? :D).

 

The book I recommended above was written by a highly-regarded endocrinologist who is himself a type I diabetic. He is among the oldest and healthiest type I diabetics in the world. He believes it is important to minimize drugs and to preserve pancreatic function. When it comes to caring for my loved ones, I'll take his advice over the ADA's any day.

 

Here's what he has to say about carrots, which he categorizes as starchy vegetables (p. 148):

After cooking, carrots taste sweeter and appear to raise blood sugar much more rapidly than when raw. This probably relates to the breakdown of complex carbohydrates into simpler sugars by heat. Even raw carrots should be avoided.

Bernstein also puts beans in the starchy vegetable category, and they are on his list of foods to avoid (p. 152). It isn't hard to see why, when you realize that beans contain 25 to 45 grams of carbohydrate per cup AFTER subtracting grams of fiber. That is a LOT of carbohydrate. Edited November 8, 2010 by jplain

[Spryte]

jplain, thanks for the book suggestion (I'm not the OP, but have in-laws who are struggling with diabetes). I am sending it to my in-laws today.

[teeleigh2000]

Regarding the diabetes.org links in teeleigh2000's post, this may sound strange, but I do NOT consider the American Diabetes Association to be the best source of information on nutrition for diabetics.

 

Sorry!:001_smile: Pay me no mind, I don't have any experience, I only did a quick google search!!

I never knew about carrots being starchy so I was surprised!

I agree that many sources of nutritional information can be very innaccurate. I should have known better.....:tongue_smilie:

[Sahamamama]

Thanks, everyone, for your input. We'll work on working it out.