Are your kids super sensitive about having their writing critiqued?

[Perry]

My dd is a pretty good writer, but her assignments always have a few things that could be improved. But even pointing out minor problems results in her sobbing in her room.

 

I've talked to her many times about revising and editing being a normal part of writing. I don't expect it to be perfect, but this kind of revising is how your writing is improved. She doesn't act this way about any other subject. My other dd was the same way.

 

Is writing just a really touchy subject? Or am I being unreasonable?

[Starr]

Editing is a major part of writing. I know many mom's that outsource writing just because they don't want to deal with the tears. I guess it feels personal. But like any other subject I think they have to get over themselves and edit and rewrite. :)

[Kathleen in VA]

I have two dc who love to write and both are super, super sensitive about any comments I make regarding improvement. I asked a similar question on the K-8 board a few weeks ago and the consensus of advice was to not criticize the writing per se, but address whatever errors are being made during a separate instructional time (during grammar, spelling or whatever relates).

 

Is this writing being done specifically for school or is it just their "hobby" writing? Is it creative writing or expository?

 

If it is a school assignment that makes it more difficult, but again, I would just take a mental note of some of the errors and then address them at a different time.

 

If this is creative writing, I'd leave it alone altogether. After listening to SWB's lectures on teaching writing, I realize that creative writing is a different kind of writing and that it will progress on its own without any direct intervention as the student matures.

 

ETA: I wanted to add that once you've discussed the issues apart from the actual writing, you could then have your daughter look over her own work and see if she can find places she can fix. Let her catch the mistakes once she is equipped with the knowledge to do so.

Edited October 28, 2010 by Kathleen in VA

[Carol in Cal.]

My DD was like this. It was like I was asking her to chop her baby in half if I tried to get her to work on revising. Unfortunately, the revisions usually ended up kind of wooden--correct, but losing the sparkle of the original.

 

Our big breakthroughs on this were twofold. One was that I encouraged her to physically cut her paragraphs apart and move them around so that we could more easily better organize the material--this was on either typed or written work. Then we would read it outloud several times and redo the transitions. The rule was that everytime we changed ANYTHING, the whole work had to be read aloud again.

 

The other big breakthrough was taking Kids Write Basic, a Bravewriter.com online short class. This class is taught to the teacher (the parent) with the kid's involvement. It starts with exercises to describe things really well, and moves to subject selection, writing, and revising. Since the revision work was part of this outside assignment, DD accepted it as not personal. It was amazing. And from then on she never had a problem with my suggestion that we work together on revisions.

 

The other thing I did was never talk about spelling or grammar in the 'word' revision phase. It gets too negative when you do that. First revise for organization, good writing, and usage, and only then refine the spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

[HistoryMom]

How do you have the editing process set up? Does she write, and then you edit? Or does she write, and then you help her do her own editing? It can make a difference for the writer to have some ownership over the process. It might also help if you were to ask for her help in something simple that you were writing, like a letter to a friend. You could ask her to check it for typos, helping her to see that it's not that she's done something wrong. It's just that every writer needs a good editor!

 

- Says the former editor who had to deal with the same sensitivity from professional writers!

[Sophia]

It's really a touchy subject.

I think some kids put so much of their souls into writing~even if it's a boring subject, that they can't help but take critiques personally.

 

Writing is a process. Writing is a process. I can't tell you how often I have repeated that to my dc and they still would get discouraged.

 

What really helped was having ds in an online writing class where his writing was graded with a rubric and he could objectively see if he had met the assignment. For instance, he could circle all the "being" verbs he used and see how omitting them and then structuring his sentences differently changed his paper.

I've started doing this with my dd's and avoided a lot of the drama I had with my oldest.

[Carol in Cal.]

I should also mention that I moved as much 'revision training' as possible out of DD's creative and history writing assignments. She used Editor in Chief, Rod and Staff English books, copywork, Phonetic Zoo, and other resources to learn to edit. I did not make her edit and perfect everything she wrote for school or pleasure. For this particular child, separating these skills was crucial to preserving and growing her writing voice and composition skills.

[Abigail4476]

I had sensitive writers, but they've gradually gotten used to having to make corrections and revisions and they've learned that they can get a better grade by making corrections. :) (I always do a preliminary grade on the first draft, and they can improve it in their rewrite.) One way to handle it is not to critique it and offer suggestions for revisions right away. When you first receive it, only verbalize the positive thoughts, and remind them that revisions are coming. "Wow, what an interesting topic! I love how you brought out this point. This is a great closing paragraph. Let me look over it and see if any revisions or corrections need to be made."

 

I give my kids back their essays the next morning with all my revisions and corrections marked directly onto the page and in the margins. I usually don't say anything unless they ask for an explanation. Writing it on the page is less personal than verbal critique, and I try to keep it light and bright. I don't give specific suggestions for words or sentences, other than grammatical corrections, because I want their writing to be, well, their writing. I may ask a question like, "Is there a more descriptive word you can use for 'jumped?'" or "Can you give me more details about what happened while you were hiking past the oak tree? What did you see? What did you feel?" Or, I may recommend they use a thesaurus to make a sentence more vibrant.

 

My 2nd grader just wrote his first essay which included revision and corrections. I'm breaking him into the process gently, and asking a beginning writer to rewrite three paragraphs for a third time would be a lot - it would put my 8 year old in tears without a doubt. So once he took my suggestions and wrote his final draft, I then scored it according to content and creativity. He received an *A* even though there were a few misspelled words, the paragraphs weren't perfectly formed, and a couple of words were hastily written into the margins as afterthoughts. The *A* was for effort, careful work, and creative thinking. As we go along, I'll expect more from him, but the trick to getting kids to love writing is showing appreciation for how they think. If you try to make writing perfectly orderly in the beginning, you'll squelch creativity. The form and order comes gradually.

 

As for the tears and sobbing: I'm in the "just get over it" camp. LOL!!! If I'm making reasonable requests and not being overly critical, then there is no reason for the histrionics. Writing is a hard skill for some children to learn, but IMO, it's just as important as Math, and can't be skipped to spare feelings. When my daughters have breakdowns, I let them have their breakdown and have them let me know when they're ready to revisit the subject. (Obviously sometime in the same day; they can't wait two weeks. :D)

 

You might consider writing a few essays of your own with obvious mistakes and having your daughter proofread it and offer a critique. That way she can get a feel for how impersonal it really is, and have the fun of giving you a little payback. :tongue_smilie:

[Teachin'Mine]

I have two dc who love to write and both are super, super sensitive about any comments I make regarding improvement. I asked a similar question on the K-8 board a few weeks ago and the consensus of advice was to not criticize the writing per se, but address whatever errors are being made during a separate instructional time (during grammar, spelling or whatever relates).

 

Is this writing being done specifically for school or is it just their "hobby" writing? Is it creative writing or expository?

 

If it is a school assignment that makes it more difficult, but again, I would just take a mental note of some of the errors and then address them at a different time.

 

If this is creative writing, I'd leave it alone altogether. After listening to SWB's lectures on teaching writing, I realize that creative writing is a different kind of writing and that it will progress on its own without any direct intervention as the student matures.

 

ETA: I wanted to add that once you've discussed the issues apart from the actual writing, you could then have your daughter look over her own work and see if she can find places she can fix. Let her catch the mistakes once she is equipped with the knowledge to do so.

 

:iagree:

 

Part of my motivation for homeschooling was my dd's reaction to her Kindergarten teacher critiquing her writing. Now this was Kindergarten and she was writing actual stories. But when she wrote something at school, it came back with red marks from the teacher. :confused: She said she was stupid and didn't want to write anymore. I spoke with her teacher and that stopped. :D

 

When we homeschooled the next year, I made a point of not correcting her writing. To me it was more important for her to enjoy writing and to have the freedom. In hindsight, I wish we had started spelling sooner, and did a formal vocabulary program, and one for grammar too, but when we did start these, she picked it all up quickly. In hindsight, I wouldn't have changed anything about not correcting her writing. All the usual mistakes went away as she got older and nothing would have been gained by red marks. What helped the most for spelling was using word processing rather than hand writing her stories. She got immediate feedback on misspelled words, and learned quickly the proper spelling.

 

Eighth grade was the first time she had papers graded and she did very well. The more they write, the better they will be at writing. In my opinion, anything you can do to encourage rather than discourage writing is a bonus. :)

[katilac]

Emerging writers should be treated with a great deal of care and delicacy, and every effort encouraged. However, both your girls are well past this stage, and definitely need to accept editing and critique.

 

I have found it helps to point out that professional writers with many years of experience still undergo the revision process. I get paid to write, and I get edited. My editor gets edited by a different editor. If the publisher of the newspaper writes an op/ed piece, he gets edited. JK Rowling gets edited. Lois Lane gets edited, ;).

 

In sum, EVERYONE gets edited, and NO ONE enjoys it. We all prefer to think that our every word is a jewel falling onto the page, but alas it is not so, and an outside eye will improve your writing. Deal with it.

 

Lois Lane: You are always editing my copy!

Clark Kent: Okay, well next time you fight the bad guy and I'll write the story.

[Kathleen in VA]

Emerging writers should be treated with a great deal of care and delicacy, and every effort encouraged. However, both your girls are well past this stage, and definitely need to accept editing and critique.

 

I have found it helps to point out that professional writers with many years of experience still undergo the revision process. I get paid to write, and I get edited. My editor gets edited by a different editor. If the publisher of the newspaper writes an op/ed piece, he gets edited. JK Rowling gets edited. Lois Lane gets edited, ;).

 

In sum, EVERYONE gets edited, and NO ONE enjoys it. We all prefer to think that our every word is a jewel falling onto the page, but alas it is not so, and an outside eye will improve your writing. Deal with it.

 

Lois Lane: You are always editing my copy!

Clark Kent: Okay, well next time you fight the bad guy and I'll write the story.

 

Your comment about everyone getting edited reminded me about movie editing. On many DVDs there is a "special features" section that includes deleted scenes. I have pointed out to my kids how a movie editor must also cut out unnecessary footage even if he/she loved the scene simply because it does not add anything to the story. It helps them to see that editing is a big part of the creative process and that there are actually awards given for those who do it well.

[lllll]

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