Feeling guilty about my children's lack of activities.

[mama2cntrykids]

Ok, maybe not lack of, but lack of the activities they are drawn to. For instance, my dd4 really wants to do dance and my ds9 really wants to do Tae Kwon Do. Well, for both of them to do those things, it would cost upwards of $50 per month. That doesn't include the $40 "test" that my ds would have for TKD 4X per year. Nor does it include the $50 costume fee (not to mention leotards, dancing shoes) for dance.

 

So, we compromised. Ds9 will do basketball this winter (only about 8 sessions though, as that's all that's offered). Dd4 will do gymnastics (about 6 sessions, again, that's all that's offered).

 

I feel guilty about it. Maybe I shouldn't, but it's not the kids' first picks and the second picks only last for a short time.

 

I'm not sure what I'm looking for by posting this. I just had to get it out there:001_huh:. Thanks for reading!

[Tess in the Burbs]

(HUGS) I too am having to emotionally readjust concerning our kids activities. We used to do a lot. We have moved and have less income to spend. The kids want music lessons. We are making that happen but they get nothing else. They have begged for things all year and I thought fall we will add more in.....but then we moved.

 

They know at this point they can do other things.....if they quit music. heck, if things get any tighter one will have to quit!

 

I was sad for a bit about it all. But we are enjoying our time as a family. I am making more playdates. Looking out for free or super cheap things and they will survive for not doing these things until later on. Having to wait may make their interest become stronger or wane away.

 

It took me weeks to get to the point I didn't feel guilt. They are lucky to have those music lessons!!! LOL, but at this point this is where we are. We won't always be in this financial place. It could be worse....so enjoy the activities they can do, do more as a family, and just know they can do more later on. It's okay. it took me weeks to get to this place.....so hang in there. :grouphug:

[ma23peas]

Keep looking and pray! When we were in your shoes, opportunities found us...we found a ballet teacher who felt it her mission to teach dance for a small fee ($5 a lesson!)...I know a family near us who found a taekwondo instructor who feels the same and the church lets him teach there..so he has no overhead and charges $20 a month...no testing fee either! There are people out there like that..don't be shy to ask other moms/instructors...

 

On the other hand 4 is very young, you can do a lot with her with dance videos...I always believe in teaching ballet first and then going on..at four they don't need to stress their joints/muscles too greatly, ballet is great for flexibility...you could have fun with it! :)

 

HTH!

Tara

[Scuff]

It's a good lesson to learn. All through life we have limits on our time, $, and space and have to make decisions within those limits. Whether we make a little or a lot, we can't have it all. Much nicer to learn that at 4. :) My girls want to do ballet, also. But some things just have to wait.

[duckens]

Your children are so lucky to have parents that care enough about them to homeschool them.

 

There are lots of families that cannot afford to send their kids to even the activities that you are doing for them. There are other families that cannot afford the time commitment (because both parents work, and the kids are in daycare until past 5pm).

 

We do what we can, and it sounds as if your family is aware of the situation and is doing the best it can.

 

There is NO substitute for the time and attention that you -- their mom -- is giving to them as a sahm and primary caregiver AND home.

Edited September 9, 2010 by duckens

[sarawatsonim]

I feel your pain. We signed our dd5 up for ballet and it cost $215 for the first semester plus we have to buy the shoes, leotards, tights and skirt for next Friday. I have no idea how much it will cost for the second semester in the new year plus a costume fee. To some $215 may not seem like a lot but to us it completely emptied our account. We also wanted to put her into an art class that is 2 hours every Saturday until December. It costs $165 and I don't think we can pull it off by the end of the month. It's very frustrating and I have a lot of guilt because of this as well. We live in a city that doesn't have a lot of activities for children that is free, there are no homeschool co-ops or groups that meet regularly either. I'm at a loss for what to do.

[mama2cntrykids]

Thank you for the reassurance everyone! I love these forums and the ppl on them. I was thinking about this a bit this afternoon and yes I *do* need to be thankful that we can give them anything at all, no matter how small (or large). I agree, family time is more important than activities. Plus, we're part of two HS groups (one is a half hour in one direction, one is a 40 mins in the other direction) that are active. Heck, the kids will be taking a free art class this fall/early winter. Can't complain about that!

 

Also, the gas that it takes to get to activities is quite a bit, especially since we live in the boonies, lol. I will pray about it too. Who knows, the right opportunity might come up!

 

Thanks again. You are wonderful ppl!