Going crazy potty training!

[Indygirl]

Ok. I am losing it. My ds who is 3 1/2 has been peeing in the potty for over a month now. He hasn't had an accident even at night. The problem is that he won't poop in the potty. We went cold turkey with the pull ups. I figured it would only take maybe a week for him to start using the potty for number two. If I put him back in pull ups he would be thrilled to death. He gets so excited to see diapers in the store.

 

I didn't have this problem with his two older brothers so I am at a loss. We've tried to bribe him with ice cream and other things but it hasn't worked. Now we are frustrated. We are going on a long road trip in a couple of weeks so I am desperate for ideas.

[Indygirl]

:bigear: Anyone?

[misidawnrn]

I had the same problem with my son. He peed in pull ups just like diapers. I finally went cold turkey and went to big boy unders. I let him pick them out at the store, we had a big talk about how you can't pee in them because they aren't diapers, they are big boy underwear. He of course picked out the Barney ones (this was 17 years ago...he is 19 now)

I told him that if he peed in them Barney would be sad and I was going to throw his new unders in the garbage...just like a diaper. He peed in it, I threw it in the garbage and he never peed in his big boy unders again! This was of course after we learned how to potty in the toilet and he would just get lazy and pee in the pullups.

So, my advice (I am not a potty training expert by any means!) is to get him real underwear and ditch the pullups all together. If he pees them, make him take them off and take to the laundry area and he has to put new ones on himself. You might have some accidents but he will get the hint really fast that his clothes, legs, bum, everything will be wet if he pees the unders vs. pullups that keep everything dry.

 

Hope that helps!

 

ETA...I just read your post again and figured it was about #2...same thing....if he poos in the big boy unders he has to dump the poo in the toilet...he will make a mess and protest but it shouldn't take more than a few times of that before he wants to just poo in the toilet.

Edited July 7, 2010 by misidawnrn

[CalicoKat]

agree with having them clean up after themselves. Once or twice having to clean a puddle or wipe down the seat and they're less likely to do it on purpose another time.

 

I've got a 3 yo dd right now who's trying to make this potty training into a power play.

 

I hand her her outfit (or she chooses one) escort her to the potty in the a.m. and she gets dresses on her own. She puts her "soggy" in the garbage can and dumps her dirty clothing in the laundry room basket. "I don't want tooo!" We hear that alot. Just be upbeat and firm. Helps to let them know what's for bfast after they're done with that chore.

 

What he can take care of, let him do it. Don't take it back. Plan for extra time if you need to.

[cougarmom4]

Just wanted to say that potty training makes me crazy, too. Hang in there! The hardest part about it is that each child is different, so what works for one may not work for the next. I checked out a few books from the library on potty training and each book said completely different things! I found a few different ideas and just kept trying them until something clicked. I am just so relieved to have it over with!

 

My worry was when they kept holding it in for so long. Can you tell when he needs to poop? Does he mention it? Does he just squirm & you can tell he's holding it in? Maybe you can start going into the bathroom, putting a diaper on him when he needs to go #2, keeping him in the bathroom to poop...then having him empty the poop into the potty, flush it and say bye-bye. You can talk about the process that big boys usually use--they just sit on the potty and put the poop right in there.

 

My dd had a hard time peeing OR pooping on the potty--she would hold it in forever and be dancing and crying, but couldn't quite figure out how to release it. I thought I was going to go nuts. She had no problem staying dry (unlike my other three in the training process). Finally I just put diapers back on her and talked her through the process when I could tell she really had to go. I'd just hold her (in a diaper) and say, okay, now you need to let the pee out. Did you feel that? Don't you feel better inside? Soon you'll be ready to let it out into the potty. After she starting being able to pee/poop in the diaper when she needed to (maybe a week or so), then we put on the big girl panties and she was totally done. Never had an accident after that...she was completely trained day & night.

 

So, the upside to what it sounds like your ds is doing...he can already hold it! yeah! That is a huge step. Now you just need to figure out if he is scared to poop or doesn't know how to do it or what the problem is.

 

One thing that helped dd was going to buy a new little potty that made music when she'd pee/poop. (We didn't really need a new potty...but I was at my wit's end and decided the $16 at Walmart was worth a try). She loved it...and then of course, when she pooped she got gummies, so she was pretty happy when she figured out that part.

 

Good luck! Hang in there! It will come together...

[Robin's Song]

Is he pooping in his pullups or....elsewhere?

 

If he is going "elsewhere", your trip will probably be a great time to potty train. My one and only trick for potty training is to leave the house ALL day in underwear. Both mom and dad will be hypervigilant and make frequent bathroom trips. They can't run off and hide to do their business. Plus, all of my kids love making bathroom trips in the store :glare:and they ALWAYS tell me when they need to go.

 

I don't know if that helps your situation at all, but that's all I've got. :tongue_smilie: I HATE potty training.

[Britomart]

I had the same problem with my son. It (sorry) took us about six months to solve. We tried all sorts of things, and a few of them worked short term (so I knew he could do it when he really wanted to, and it wasn't a physical problem <-- always rule that out first).

 

What finally worked is that I told him that watching DVDs was something that kids who went poop in the potty got to do. And he would get to watch a DVD every day only if he'd not had a poop accident.

 

(btw, I was really careful to not present this as a punishment, but just a matter-of-fact "this is how it is, and you can choose what you're going to do.")

 

That did it. It took a couple of days, till he knew I meant it, and then he did it. He still uses a toddler potty rather than the big one (usually) and he often actually poops while watching a DVD (I think it helps him relax). But he rarely has accidents anymore. It just took finding the right incentive. And we're slowly transferring to using the big potty.

 

Some kids just do take longer. And do make sure there isn't a physical problem. But I thought we'd never get there, and we did, so be encouraged!

[Starr]

We just toughed it out in the underpants. I don't even want to think about how many pairs of unders I washed out. :tongue_smilie:

[scmama]

These are great tips for me as well...I too HATE potty training. My son will be 4 this month, and I'm going crazy! I am going to buy some REAL underwear this weekend and see if this helps! UGH!!!

[lisamarie]

I guess it depends on what sort of kid you have. If he's anything like my DS, it could take up to a year for him to get it. My DS just did not care at all to be PTed. I started when he was about 2 1/2 and he didn't pee train until he was 4 and then it took another 6 mns to get him poop trained, and then another 6 months before he was dry overnight. All in all he wasn't completely trained until a few weeks before his 5th birthday.

[Indygirl]

We just toughed it out in the underpants. I don't even want to think about how many pairs of unders I washed out. :tongue_smilie:

 

He has been in underwear for about a month now. I am so tired of washing them out. If they are real bad I just throw them away (I can hear some of you gasping). But I figured it would just take a few days, maybe a week. I always take him to the bathroom to clean him up and show him where the poop is suppossed to go. I think he knows--he says "ok" :glare:. He gets excited when he gets to wear a swim diaper to go to the pool. Sometimes I don't know weather to laugh or cry:)

 

Anyways, the poor guy is sick tonight. His belly has been hurting a good part of the day and he has thrown up a couple of times. Hopefully he feels better in the morning.

[OrganicAnn]

We got the potty training finished for the daytime, but my DD still wore pull ups at night. So she would wait and use the pull up when she got her night time pull up. I let that go on for a while. I didn't say anything, but made sure she had fiber in the morning and that we put on the pull up later and later (first right after her bath, then right after she brushed her teeth, then right before bed). Finally she got so she would poop in the potty and not wait until the night time pull up. She needed the night time pull up because she is a very deep sleeper and wasn't ready for dry nights.

 

I found potty training very frustrating. My DD said in the middle of training "I will never ever give up my diapers".

[katemary63]

What finally worked is that I told him that watching DVDs was something that kids who went poop in the potty got to do. And he would get to watch a DVD every day only if he'd not had a poop accident.

 

 

This is kinda what I did. I told my son that babies use diapers and big boys use big boy underpants and go in the potty. There are certain things that big boys are allowed to do that babies are not. When you are a big boy, you will get to do them. He quit going in his diapers that day and was done training with in a week. He was 22 months old.

 

By age 3 and over, personally, I'd just put the underpants on him and tell him he was no longer allowed to go potty in his pants and had to use the potty like everyone else. Then if we had an accident, he'd clean it up himself.

[Brenda in FL]

I did not finish reading all the responses, so please forgive me if my suggestions have already been mentioned.

 

First - has your child been OK using the toilet in the past - or is he afraid of using the toilet altogether?

 

If you know he can use the toilet without incident - then I suggest what I learned here - clean him off with a cold shower when he messes himself. I had to use this technique with my youngest son - and I think he had one maybe two cold showers and that was enough for him to stop pooping in his pants! It's uncomfortable, but a cold shower doesn't hurt him!

 

If he's terrified of the toilet - he will eventually outgrow that fear - my nephew had this problem and my SIL had either diapers or pullups for him which he used just when he needed to go #2. I personally don't think this is a bad idea - it saves everyone alot of frustration and he will eventually get over his fear.

 

My oldest son was afraid of going #2 altogether! That is a different issue than I think you have - and I hope you don't ever have to deal with that!!

[coralloyd]

I tried everything with my ds to get him to go poo. We went to just under ware, had him clean up the mess (he liked this, the mess did not bother him in the least :tongue_smilie:), bribed him, ect... Finally I told him if he went poo in his pants he would have to sit in the corner a loooong time. I hated to have to resort to discipline, but I was at my wits end. I also found out that he is a shy pooper. If I walked out of the room and gave him some privacy, he would go. Now he says " You go Mama?", and I go. He calls me when he is done. These two things combined worked, and now he is fully potty trained (praise the Lord)!