Talk me down? Dh taking the 4 y/o for K-5 testing. PS question, sorry...

[snickelfritz]

As the one at home with the kiddos, I would hope that dh would be open to suggestions that I made. While I don't expect him to not have an opinion, I would hope that he strongly considered any strong opinions that I had. I would do the same for him. And you did say that your dh felt strongly about his position while you don't feel strongly about your position.

 

In a good class, it will include multiple recess times (or time spent in a large motor room), center time where they might be playing house or doing puzzles, nap/rest time, lunch time, snack time, hatching chicks, alphabet snacks, etc...

 

With a good teacher, it could be a wonderful time.

 

I've also had friends who had children constantly in tears because they were expected to write way more than their little hands could manage. So, the particular teacher/environment makes all the difference.

 

If dh feels strongly and is the one responsible for things, I would be open to giving it a try. Maybe give it a trial period. Or make it conditional upon it going well (ie...you have the right to object if things go south.)

 

It would be awesome if the teacher was open to picking her up early each day.

[Aubrey]

Pam,

 

I only have a sec (waiting for water to boil to discuss steam power w/ homemade pinwheels, & I think I hear it now).

 

1. If it's for social reasons, it's possible that either K4 or K5 will work for your dd. If she's learned all the stuff they teach in K (4 or 5?), then the question is really just whether she'll enjoy it.

 

I *think* I'd go w/ whatever dh wants, w/ the understanding that she could always be moved up/down/out as necessary.

 

2. I started K early. I was 4 w/ a July b'day, so I missed the cut-off date by a whole year. It was the best thing my parents did, for academic as well as social reasons. *But* they *couldn't* hs, & mom would have preferred that. I'm sure this isn't right for every child--my own 4yo is spunky, outgoing, & although she's ahead academically, I don't think she'd be as happy w/ older kids. She's a natural leader & enjoys that role. I was none of those things. Ds7 is like me, & even hs'ing, we decided to start him a yr early, for social reasons. (When he was reading, other dc were still grabbing/hitting/etc., & he had trouble knowing how to handle this, esp when daycare teachers treated him like he was at the same developmental level.)

 

I'm not sure if any of that helps at all, but for the pinwheel experiment, you really do need a teapot, not just a pot of boiling water. :glare:

[saw]

From what I've read of what you've posted about your older two children, they're turning out great. So I would venture that if you keep going with your dd the way you did with the others, she'll turn out more than fine. If you've trusted your own and your dh's judgment in the past, it appears to have produced good results.

 

mom to Firoco, two of whom had a wonderful kindergarten experience and one of whom ended up at a psychiatrist's office (not kidding).

[Brigitte]

No, I have indentured servitude at the local hospital for three years. So we'd be here for awhile.

 

I'll tell him. LOL

 

Wait one dog-gone minute here! :toetap05: I thought you had the chance to move up 81 a bit? I am wounded....:leaving:

[Barb_]

Pam, could it be the role-reversal that's bugging you more than the decision? You know you don't really have a leg to stand on, so maybe you're reacting to the strangeness of dh's being the "over my dead body parent" where education and child-rearing is concerned? I may be reaching here, but since you don't have any true objections, yet still have this vague unease which is completely out of character for you, maybe your issue is with letting go of the control? Just a little bit?

 

FWIW, I would send her. Dh wants her to go, she isn't begging to stay home, the age thing is a non-issue IMO, and you can revisit this at any time should it not work out. Step back and let dh and daughter take the plunge while you study for finals ;)

 

Barb

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

My opinion: it would depend on the personality of my child.

 

I was sent to Kindergarten at 4 with a November 12th birthday. Did I have any trouble academically? No.

 

However, I was a very introverted child, not to mention physically small. Socially, I was confused and frustrated. I was always the "baby" of the class. I was ignored,coddled, and humored but never taken seriously. It caused me to withdraw even further and I learned how to become invisible.

 

On the other hand, I don't know if I would have fit in with the younger class either, but I would have had the advantage of maturity.

 

If your child is socially adept, can speak up for herself, and is not physically tiny, it might be the best thing. If she's going to go to ps anyway. In fact, I would look at her ability to get into trouble in a group of similarly aged children as a positive thing.:001_smile:

 

If she is quiet, shy, never gets in anyone's way, and prefers to sit looking at books or spending time alone in imaginary play, wait till next year.

[Aubrey]

On the other hand, I don't know if I would have fit in with the younger class either, but I would have had the advantage of maturity.

 

 

I agree w/ your advice, although I wanted to note one thing: maturity is not always an advantage. When a child's maturity is too out-of-sync w/ his classmates in *either* direction, I think that can lead to problems.

 

I was on the other end of your situation for a while--there were some negotiations to be made before my advancement could be finalized, & during those few weeks, I was a 5yo K'er. I was always shy, but I couldn't talk to the other k'ers. It was as though they didn't talk yet...at all. We had to keep the bathroom door open, I guess for dc who weren't completely independent there yet, I don't know. But I would just hold it till the end of the day because it creeped me out. I was always in trouble for asking questions, always bored. And I talked to literally no one.

 

A few weeks later when I was moved to 1st g, I instantly made several friends. I've never been one to have more than a couple of friends at a time, but in my g level, it was worse. And the older I got, the harder this became, until about half way through college.

 

Just my experience, fwiw.

[gardenschooler]

Haven't read the replies yet, but my first thought was to inquire about Mother's Day Out-type programs, or a 3 day a week kind of preschool. Or even a church-run, smallish K or pre-K kind of program (some of those are half-day). If the goal is only to have her have something to do, that would fit the bill. It would be more age-appropriate than full-day kindergarten.

 

Of course, those programs aren't free, but they're not all that expensive, either. Don't know if that makes any difference.

 

Just read about the money for preschool - in that case, I would look into a Mother's Day Out 4 yr. old program. One day a week would be around $15-20 (and that's here, so yours may be less). It would get her out of the house and give her an opportunity to make friends.

 

What about Daisy Girl Scouts?

[gardenschooler]

 

And I believe, but I could be mistaken, that there is no problem removing a child after 11:30. At that point, she is considered to have attended for the full day. I will check, though. Good point to consider.

 

If that's the case, then I'd be more inclined to think about it. If she can leave at 11:30 a few times a week, and skip it altogether if she's getting run down, then that would make a difference to me.

 

I also agree with idea of looking into what kind of kindergarten it is. Lots of fun and crafts vs. too much sitting would also be a heavily influencing factor for me.

 

Are there any teaching schools near you? We have one here, and it's supposedly great, with lots of innovative teaching going on. The parents rave about it. It's nothing like the bigger public schools, but it is still free (just pretty hard to get in).

 

My main concern would be the exhaustion factor, but I'm quite the introvert. I hated kindergarten, even though we got to sing and paint and all that. I just wanted to play with my imaginary friends all day, not *real* ones (gee, some things we never grow out of, do we? :)) It doesn't sound like your kids are like this, though.

[Colleen]

Isn't kindergarten half-day? Or have they moved to all-day kindergarten now?

 

All-day kindergarten has becoming increasingly common in the past several years. It's the norm in many areas.

 

I don't agree with Colleen (*gasp* How did THAT happen?!) that there are no reasons/benefits to kindergarten.

 

Just to clarify, I was speaking to Pam's post specifically. I am opposed to all-day kindergarten (except in that it provides a healthier, safer environment for some children, which is of course not Pam's reality).