Afraid to plan for next year

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

This year has been so rough. I'm enjoying planning for next year in a way.... but in another way, I'm afraid of next year.

 

This year would have gone better with "simple -straight- forward -fill -in- the- blank -and -you- are- done" curriculum.

 

What should I do next year?? My usual mix? OR the fill in the blank and add as we can ??

 

It boils down to I am afraid that I'm failing my children.

 

I've got great ideas and make great plans, but I'm afraid that life will hit and knock me down again.

 

My senior has basically "Quit" school. (health problems , depression, you know the story) I failed her. (No, not literally given her "Fs"!) I have not done well in motivating her to do her work and I have not done well following up to make sure work has been done. :(

 

It has been a long day. I need to chill :chillpill: out and let it go.

 

I need to remember that "I'm doing the best I can until May".... But what will next year bring?

 

:confused: How would you plan?:confused:

[Rhondabee]

This year has been so rough. I'm enjoying planning for next year in a way.... but in another way, I'm afraid of next year.

 

This year would have gone better with "simple -straight- forward -fill -in- the- blank -and -you- are- done" curriculum.

 

What should I do next year?? My usual mix? OR the fill in the blank and add as we can ??

 

It boils down to I am afraid that I'm failing my children.

 

I've got great ideas and make great plans, but I'm afraid that life will hit and knock me down again.

 

My senior has basically "Quit" school. (health problems , depression, you know the story) I failed her. (No, not literally given her "Fs"!) I have not done well in motivating her to do her work and I have not done well following up to make sure work has been done. :(

 

It has been a long day. I need to chill :chillpill: out and let it go.

 

I need to remember that "I'm doing the best I can until May".... But what will next year bring?

 

:confused: How would you plan?:confused:

 

No answers - just sympathy, though I certainly haven't had quite the year you've had. :grouphug:

 

Still, I have to admit that come the end of May I will be digging through papers and trying to assign grades for DS's 9th grade year (and I'm trying not to order any 10th grade stuff until I have forced myself to do this). I don't want to be in this same place next year. Sure, math and science - our "fill-in-the-test-grade" classes - will be all right. But, I am dreading trying to organize and grade history and literature.

 

The problem is I am happy with his progress and growth this year, so I don't want to change to anything else. But my first priority in my "planning" for next year is to try to plan a realistic system that we will actually *use* to keep us organized.

 

Hopefully someone can give us both some ideas!!!

[Teachin'Mine]

:grouphug:

[PollyOR]

My senior has basically "Quit" school. (health problems , depression, you know the story) I failed her. (No, not literally given her "Fs"!) I have not done well in motivating her to do her work and I have not done well following up to make sure work has been done. :(

 

 

:grouphug: Pam :grouphug:, I can relate to this. We've been fighting dd's depression for several years. I felt like we were inching along with academics but this year she quit. I'm angry with her and I'm angry with myself. Just this morning we held a pow-wow with her Dad and I gave the ultimatum - she does what I assign or we will make alternative plans for next year. I know she doesn't feel well, but she is also using her depression as an excuse to do less than she is capable of (not saying that your dd is doing the same). I'm at my wit's end and ready to send them all to school. This morning while I was on a walk I started imagining all of the free time I would have during the day. It would be awfully nice.

 

Planning? I'm there too. I'm so tired of trying to get her to do school work that I may resort to textbooks this coming year. It would be easy to assign and check off the list. Certainly not the way I envisioned our high school years. Enticing, cajoling, persuading, I'm tired of all of it. I just want it done!

Edited April 21, 2010 by PollyOR

[Susan C.]

Hi all!

 

Polly, you will still have to make them do the work the school assigns, so you will shift school to nights... And, Pam and Rhondabee, I will tell you all the great advice I was given several years ago when fatigue had me with about six hours of energy a day (much better now) and we were all packed into a tiny apartment that was crazy noisy AND my husband was out of work and working from that tiny apartment. My younger one wasn't reading yet, and my other was middle school aged. I was asked to pick one subject I wanted to do "my way." That would be book based history. Then I was told to get the rest in a form that would run itself. Prepared curriculum, workbooks, like that. Not put together by me or needing me to teach it. It worked well, I had time to rest and teach my younger one to read.

 

Times when homeschooling isn't running smoothly cause me to evaluate whether my curriculum choices are working well. At least at my house, when I have the right level and something interesting, I don't have trouble getting my kids to do their schoolwork. I let them tell me when something isn't working well, and they know I will work with them to get something that is better if we need to. Since I do that, they will do something less than wonderful if that is all we can come up with and if every subject isn't like that.

 

I am trying to remember what I did when we were in our rough spot, I'll write a little. A lot of it is very WTM friendly. For science, I did Apologia with the older one, and had the younger one make a science notebook and take in what she could from the older ones labs. I had her draw a picture of what she saw in the microscope, and use our son's book's diagrams to label her picture. (She is in high school now and still remembers what she did!) He was doing geography, so whatever country he was studying, we got kids books for her at the library (and travel videos). For language arts, my son did Write Source workbooks, then Easy Grammar. When dd started to read, I got the lowest level of Daily Grams for her. My son did Beautiful Feet Middle School, that took care of reading literature and history. Yes, he might have been a little more educated with a more structured literature program, but he transitioned nicely into high school literature with no problem. When my older did Beautiful Feet Ancient History, my younger did BJU 6th grade Heritage Studies. A nice text and very cool workbook, and both ran very easily and it has a nice Ancient History section so she could do what her brother was doing.

 

For kids that have health problems, homeschooling gives you the flexibility to let them rest when they need to and catch up when they feel better. I remember with my son, he grew six inches in one year. He was falling asleep in his books. Letting him sleep in a little really helped that year!

 

I hope this helps. My heart goes out to all of you. Hard times make homeschooling more difficult! I hope my suggestions help and give you ideas on how to make things easier for you.

[Liza Q]

I have some thoughts but....Pam, how many children do you have and how old are they?

[Susan C.]

 

But, I am dreading trying to organize and grade history and literature.

 

The problem is I am happy with his progress and growth this year, so I don't want to change to anything else. But my first priority in my "planning" for next year is to try to plan a realistic system that we will actually *use* to keep us organized.

 

Hopefully someone can give us both some ideas!!!

 

Rhondabee,

I forgot you in my post. When I graded my history and lit. in the years where there weren't tests to average, I asked the question if my son did all that I asked, if he could have done any more to get a better grade, that sort of thing. He always did everything I asked, every day. Read tons of books, made pages in his notebook with what I asked to be on them, etc. Well, they weren't in the notebook, but in quite a stack on the floor next to where he did them....( :) ) But when I gathered them up, they were great, and all there, so I put them in order and gave him a nice grade. The next year, he got a spiral notebook, that worked better! :)

 

HTH

[PollyOR]

Hi all!

 

Polly, you will still have to make them do the work the school assigns, so you will shift school to nights...

 

 

:)Thank you Susan. My oldest attended public school for most of her school years, so I know you are right. Today was just one of those days.

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

Liza: I have a 17 yog , senior, graduating in June. Then a girl who will be 12th grade next year, a boy in the 10th next year, and a boy in the 7th next year. I look forward to hearing your ideas.

 

Everyone else: Thanks for the suggestions, hugs, and encouragement!

 

I feel better this morning. A little bit.:tongue_smilie:

[brendafromtenn]

I have a story to tell you.....

 

I have a friend who is recovering from cancer. She homeschools her children. And she NEVER thought that she would be using a curriculum that was a fill in the blank, git r done, type of curriculum. But she is.

 

And the kids are doing well.:001_smile:

 

She got the AO Lifepacs for all her kids. Workbooks. Everyone is progressing and moving along. It has turned out just fine.

 

Sometimes in our homeschool journey, we get to point where we just can't do the "classical" method as outlined in the WTM. And you know what? It is O.K.!!! There are just different seasons sometimes.

 

I got very sick back in the winter and ended up in the hospital. We did the very same kind thing, but we used some of the CLE light units. WOW! What a blessing to our family.

 

And everyone is still learning and progressing.

 

This may just be a different season. You may have to try some new things. But it WILL be o.k.

 

Find what works for YOU, and find what will work for your family.

 

Pray for guidance. The Lord will lead you, dear one.

 

Brenda:grouphug:

 

P.S. Do you have a local support group near you? Sounds like you need to go for coffee with some ladies that could offer you encouragement.

If you ever get close, to Memphis, just let me know!

[PollyOR]

I have a story to tell you.....

 

I have a friend who is recovering from cancer. She homeschools her children. And she NEVER thought that she would be using a curriculum that was a fill in the blank, git r done, type of curriculum. But she is.

 

And the kids are doing well.:001_smile:

 

She got the AO Lifepacs for all her kids. Workbooks. Everyone is progressing and moving along. It has turned out just fine.

 

Sometimes in our homeschool journey, we get to point where we just can't do the "classical" method as outlined in the WTM. And you know what? It is O.K.!!! There are just different seasons sometimes.

 

I got very sick back in the winter and ended up in the hospital. We did the very same kind thing, but we used some of the CLE light units. WOW! What a blessing to our family.

 

And everyone is still learning and progressing.

 

This may just be a different season. You may have to try some new things. But it WILL be o.k.

 

Find what works for YOU, and find what will work for your family.

 

Pray for guidance. The Lord will lead you, dear one.

 

Brenda:grouphug:

 

 

 

Brenda, thank you for sharing. I feel encouraged.

[brendafromtenn]

You are VERY welcome.

 

Blessings,

 

Brenda:001_smile:

[laughing lioness]

:grouphug:I totally hear you. I'm in the thick of it with you. The house fire, funeral of my sister days later, life in a hotel and now rental house has wrecked havoc with our lives the last 6 months. We are all fighting loss and grief, trying to be grateful for God's provision, etc and still dealing with weekly break-downs of someone who feels sad, lonely, lost, grieving ( sometimes my dh and I).I've had many panic moments this year.

I've been reading Rafe Esquith's books, along with Outlier, by Gladwell and my big take-away.....school works! Sure, pedagogy is important, curriculum is better or worse, etc. but the bottom line is this: a good solid curriculum, applied reguarly, with time dedicated to school, will cause education to occur. This has taken given me a huge sense of relief. School doesn't have to be perfect or fun, it just has to occur. My 2 younger kids have been using Sams workbooks along with a unique blend of curriculum blessed friends have gifted us with. Not my ideal. But they are learning! And actually enjoying the worksheets. Geez. Who knew?

I feel like I've failed my kids, too, to an extent, especially the older 2. And I'm trying to come to terms that I will most likely fail my 3 younger as well. But, no matter what we do or don't do, that will probably be the case. My dh is always focusing on what our kids do have: grounding, a solid, strong, personal faith, integrity, creativity, leadership, the ability and drive to learn, love and respect for their family and siblings.

Find a friend. I called my sil yesterday- I don't really do that. I just needed someone who has had loss, who knows us, likes us, knows I'm not griping about my dh, just listen to me. She had some great words of wisdom and loved it that I trusted her enough to call her.

:grouphug::grouphug:Be at peace.

[brendafromtenn]

:iagree:the bottom line is this: a good solid curriculum, applied reguarly, with time dedicated to school, will cause education to occur.

 

 

GREAT QUOTE!

[Rhondabee]

Rhondabee,

I forgot you in my post. When I graded my history and lit. in the years where there weren't tests to average, I asked the question if my son did all that I asked, if he could have done any more to get a better grade, that sort of thing. He always did everything I asked, every day. Read tons of books, made pages in his notebook with what I asked to be on them, etc. Well, they weren't in the notebook, but in quite a stack on the floor next to where he did them....( :) ) But when I gathered them up, they were great, and all there, so I put them in order and gave him a nice grade. The next year, he got a spiral notebook, that worked better! :)

 

HTH

 

Oh, wow, Susan - I can't tell you without sounding "goofy" how relieved I was to read your other post. Like you went through what you did just so you could encourage me! This year I have DS's in 9th and 6th and DD who is 4yo. And we have moved "homeschool" to my DH's business office because he can't move it home, and I am trying to take over the accounting from his step-mother. (She is on so many medications to keep her from having a nervous breakdown, she has a really hard time functioning iykwim.) And, while DH is technically "employed" - we have gone many, many weeks without getting paid. So, I'm just floored - thankful to feel like *someone* out there understands, though I would never wish such circumstances on anyone!

 

Thank you for all your thoughts! From trying to integrate the older two better (I kept them very separate this year), to worries about not teaching the younger one to read - everything was just so right where I am right now.

 

I am hoping that I will be more objective when I do finally gather all the assorted papers. When I go back and look at the kids' papers from previous years, I tend to see all the *good* things. Unfortunately for them, I tend to see all the rough places and things I would change when I first look at their papers. (and - hey! I did something right - we switched to spiral notebooks about two months ago to keep papers from getting left and lost all over the house - LOL!)

 

Thanks!

[Susan C.]

:)Thank you Susan. My oldest attended public school for most of her school years, so I know you are right. Today was just one of those days.

 

I have those days A LOT!!! Aren't teens fun?? I love mine, but I wouldn't do that age again for anything...

 

I do know homeschoolers who have put their kids back in school, but the day to make that decision isn't one of those many bad days!!

[Susan C.]

a good solid curriculum, applied reguarly, with time dedicated to school, will cause education to occur.

 

I feel like I've failed my kids, .....My dh is always focusing on what our kids do have: grounding, a solid, strong, personal faith, integrity, creativity, leadership, the ability and drive to learn, love and respect for their family and siblings.

 

I like your quote too! And you definitely have NOT failed your kids. You have given them a great gift!! All that you have been through, and being at home has given you a chance to let your family grieve, vent, have space to deal with losses, bond more with each other, etc. I think having our kids see us deal with tough situations gives them input on how to deal with similar situations now and when they grow up. It creates more depth of character as well. That is education too, the best kind, real life! I couldn't imagine going through all of that and having to be at regular school. It is so impersonal and doesn't have any allowances for those life hiccups that happen. Someday (if not now) your kids will realize this.

 

Hang in there :)

[Susan C.]

Rhondabee,

Another wow from me!! I teared up as I read all that you are going through and all of our similarities. I know I felt like I was the only one on the planet (or at least among all that I knew) going through all of that. So I'm glad to help..... but both of us (and the other posters) have been through enough to have plenty of empathy for anyone who needs it, right!!

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

:grouphug:

 

THANK YOU

THANK YOU

THANK YOU

 

:grouphug:

[PollyOR]

Bumping one of my favorite threads. :)

[RhondaM.]

No advice here as we are struggling too. I just wanted to extend a hug and tell you that you are not alone.*

 

The problems started with losing both my parents in 2008 and ended just last month when my sister and her two children finally moved out of my house. In-between was my 2 breast surgeries (breast cancer), my husbands back surgery, my hysterectomy, leaving our church of 15 years, losing all of our friends over it, causing lots of stress with his family. (and so much more happened, but those are the highlights)*

 

Having so much happen so fast was very traumatic. Lots of depression here. I wanted to give up on homleschool last year but was too embarrassed at how far behind we'd gotten in those few years. My youngest only worked throuh her CL math and LA workbooks and read a lot.

My oldest mostly only did his math and just barely. I totally understand feeling like a failure. I've cried too many tears over that one.

 

It has been a really bad few years and none of us (except the 11 yr old) feel fully recovered. but it is getting better. I just don't have the energy that I used to have before my breast surgeries.

I've ended up putting my youngest in public school (because she really really wants to go) so now I will have all day to work with my 10th grader.*

 

I think what is going to work for all of us is just to stick with a curriculum and get outside help. We have enrolled in Kolbe Academy, and we plan to get help from tutors for special help and accountability. And our family is on a mission to get healthy. My sons are the ones who have inspired us.*

 

So...I am really anticipating this year. I have such high hopes that we turn everything around this year. (as long as we can work around the remodeling going on in our house! Ugh!)

 

Everyone knows an ant, can't, move a rubber tree plant....but I've got high hopes.... :-)

 

I wish you the best with your planning and schooling.

[Tiramisu]

Bumping one of my favorite threads. :)

 

Thank you for bumping. I always remember this thread. And I've been happy to read Pam's updates.

 

This thread first appeared while my one dd was recovering from spinal fusion surgery. Within months of it, another dd started having neurological symptoms, and we spent a lot of time over the next year investigating that. Remembering the advice in this thread got me through those hard times.

 

Nothing has actually calmed down in our life since, and we still have many days when my dd doesn't feel well but we've managed well enough, I guess. Work gets done one way or another, though it wasn't what I had planned, and her SAT's were fine. She'll be applying to college this year. I wish we could staighten out her health before then. :001_smile: