Anyone else NOT planning to pay for college?

[Lizzie in Ma]

Dh and I paid our own way through a state college. He went into the army for 2 years to pay for it and I began working full time in my junior year, graduating early to do so, to pay for mine. Our parents helped in little ways. Care packages with cookies and laundry quarters and one or two years they paid for books. We were always welcome to come home and do laundry or eat well for a weekend. (it was a 3 hour drive but we did it often)

 

We went to a huge state college and I feel I received an excellent education. I probably could have earned higher grades were I not working two jobs but that is neither here nor there, I made dean's list and I was happy. DH wasn't in it so much at the time for heavy academics, he has a degree in Wildlife Biology which I always and still fondly term Zoology for Dummies.:tongue_smilie:

( ex:I had to take 3 years of chemistry while he only had to take chem 100)

 

Over the 5 years it took me to complete my degree, especially in the dorms, I saw a lot of kids with complete and utter disregard for their parents struggle to pay for a college education. The four year booze cruise with behaviors I wouldn't tolerate in a million years as a parent. It was disgusting. Dh and I were 22 when we began college. We chose our college, did all the work to get in ourselves, all the paperwork, everything. And when we got there we worked hard because we were paying for it.

 

An extreme example of some of the kind of behavior I speak of would be my 2nd room mate. This 18 year old, cut loose from home, with zero oversight or responsibility, would bring boys home to our room and sleep with them in the upper bunk and then go off to class leaving said boy in bed! That one was a real peach! She also devoured romance novels rather than study and flunked out her 2nd year.

 

Bottom line, I think most kids work harder and behave better when the responsibility belongs to them. At almost 12, my dd already has a game plan to be a pediatric nurse. She knows that if she goes and works at our local hospital as a PA they will pay for her RN degree at our local community college. She also knows that she can both dual enroll and use CLEPS to place out of hundreds of dollars of credits and has already, with my help, looked up not only which ones our CC takes but how many credit hours they award. I like to think it is because we have told her from day one that it is up to her.

[Antonia]

We may help, but we do not believe it is our obligation to pay for the whole thing. Dh and I both paid for our own educations, and we took it much more seriously as a result. I know too many parents who completely stress out over, and plan their whole financial lives around, paying for their kids' college ed. It never made sense to me.

[3littlekeets]

Ooops, my mistake!

I just went and checked their website.

If our children attend that University they'll get 100% free tuition.

If they go to another college/Univ. they'll get 50% of their tuition paid for.

If they go to grad school at his Univ., they'll get something for that as well. It's still a great deal.

If we both worked for the University (at dh's level) and the children went to a different school, we could combine our 50% each and they'd have full coverage. That would be nice, eh?

 

I do feel a bit nervous that they have a disclaimer: "Policy can change at any time..."

 

I hope it doesn't change for the next 15 years anyway!

 

That is still fantastic! It's a wonderful benefit of working in higher education. I hope that once I get tenure, I can move to a Univ. with a much more flexible system like yours!

[Tressa]

My husband and I are not in the financial position to pay for their college. We choose to fund our retirement instead. The kids probably won't appreciate that when they are paying for their college, but they will probably appreciate it when we are in our golden years and can take care of ourselves. It would be wonderful if we could pay for both, but we can't. We are already talking about their options with them. They are more than welcome to live at home and go to community college or take classes online to save money. :)

[mysticamethyst]

We are not even telling them we are going to pay for it. Actually, just the oppsite, I have always told them if they want to go to college they will have to work for it just like I am. While I am encouraging them all to go to college, I know not all of them will. My husband didn't go to college and does better than most of our friends that went to college. On the flip side I could not find a job to save my soul without college, so I started. My children see the pro's and con's of both going and not going. Let me tell you though, I see the kids that the parents are giving them a full ride and for the most part not all, it is WAY under appreciated. They are the ones who are disruptive during class, don't have their assignments completed or are dropping the class when they realize they are going to have to really work for their grade. I think th education will mean more to them when they have to earn it, just like their belongings. They really didn't start to take care of their things till they had to starty buying them.

[Amy in NH]

Well...

 

We don't have money set aside to pay for the kids' college education. I am planning to go to law school when they are teens, so I'll be taking out my own student loans. We are putting a tiny little bit into retirement; thank goodness for profit-sharing!

 

But I feel like I'm paying up-front for their college education in providing them an excellent primary/secondary education with excellent long-term community activity/involvement that should enable to them to get scholarships. I'm paying out of pocket for books and activities, and in my loss of income in staying home to provide an excellent education. However, I can't make them take the education I am providing. The student has to be willing to do some work to become educated. My 10 yo is lazy, and doesn't want to learn, so he may be taking out student loans if he decides to go to college, or he may be looking at trade school as a high school student. And I've told him as much (plus some!).

[PiCO]

If this involves paying for most of college, I will do that.

 

I agree that it's important for college students to be responsible for their own educations, and they need to make a financial contribution to the education they are getting, but I don't want my dds to leave college too far in debt.

 

FWIW, I went through college on an athletic scholarship, and pretty much wasted the five+ years it took me to graduate. I don't think my parents realized how ill-prepared I was for life.

[Stacey in MA]

Have you seen this before?:

 

 

I haven't watched it in a while, but I remember being impressed when I first saw it. It's 7 or 8 ways to get a college degree for very cheap. All very do-able ways. I believe we will implement some of these ideas.

 

Just thought I'd share. - Stacey in MA

[*anj*]

I don't think that I appreciated it when my parents totally bankrolled my education for the first year. When I had to either quit or raise (most of) the funds myself, I appreciated it much more.

 

Having said that, I don't think that all students are like that. I have a friend whose father paid for every single thing and she totally appreciated it and made the most of her education. Her brother quit after two years, or rather was forced to quit. He never did finish his degree, despite offers from their dad to pay for the rest of it. He just didn't want to do the work.

 

So you can even have two kids in one family who respond differently to it. For this reason I think you have to make the decision on a child-by-child basis.

[LisaKinVA]

Not that we won't help out, but we can't afford to pay 100% of their college tuition anywhere.

 

Working & saving is an important life skill. Learning how to budget one's time and money is also an important life skill. IMO, both of these need to be in place before leaving home for college (or anywhere). Unfortunately, a book really doesn't teach these things effectively.

 

I'm hoping that we do enough so that dc will be competitive for scholarships (which is how dh and I made it through). I did take out a small loan (less than $5k) my final year in school -- but that was because I did an internship the summer before my final year instead of working the 3 PT jobs I normally juggled.

 

I don't think I'd encourage my dc to attend college if they did not have a scholarship, hadn't saved a good sum of money, and had no idea what they wanted to study. They can "find themselves" by taking a year or two off and working full time in the real world -- versus some of the activities described here (and witnessed by dh and me).

[Oak Knoll Mom]

We're paying for half and expect them to get scholarships or flat-out pay for the other half. We may extend loans to them, but we will expect them to be paid off, too.

 

 

This is what we plan on doing also.

[Citrusheights5]

DH and I disagree with it. He wants to pay for their college. I don't see it as our responsibillity. He stresses over not being able to pay for it, not having savings, and sees it as a failure on his part. I think that they need to see how they are going to fund their education.. Financial Aid... Loans.. Scolarships etc. I belive in helping.. buying books.. or perhaps help with other expenses. Oh I hope it all works out before college.

 

Lee

[ccm]

Have you seen this before?:

 

 

I haven't watched it in a while, but I remember being impressed when I first saw it. It's 7 or 8 ways to get a college degree for very cheap. All very do-able ways. I believe we will implement some of these ideas.

 

Just thought I'd share. - Stacey in MA

 

:iagree:

Thanks for sharing this video link, Stacey. My husband and I have put one child through college and currently have two in college. We have implemented some of these ideas and have been very successful in providing our children with a debt-free start to their adult lives.