If you're the type to enjoy a good debate...

[Carrie12345]

do you have any willing participants in your life?

 

I'm not the greatest debater, but I enjoy it, and I find having or playing the devil's advocate to be helpful. Dh and I can carry on some great debates when we put our minds to it, but he prefers not to play when we already agree. :D

 

My sisters like the beginnings of debate, but they eventually get frustrated. We've talked about that and have agreed to quit before anyone gets too annoyed.

 

Our mother flees if she even smells *other people debating.

 

I volunteer on an arbitration committee, which is great in theory, but discussions rarely stay on track and decisions are often inconsistent.

 

So where do you go to fulfill your debating pleasure and hone your skills?

 

No fair claiming your own teenagers- I won't have those for a few more years! :tongue_smilie:

[Jean in Newcastle]

He's not a teen yet. Ds12 has debated ever since that first toddler "no!"

[prairie rose]

I drove my mom nuts with debating. :lol:

 

My 11yo is starting to get into debating, problem is the things he wants to debate are usually non-negotiable. :lol:

 

Honestly, the best place I've found for debates where people play mostly fair :p are these boards. ;)

[Carrie12345]

I drove my mom nuts with debating. :lol:

 

My 11yo is starting to get into debating, problem is the things he wants to debate are usually non-negotiable. :lol:

 

Honestly, the best place I've found for debates where people play mostly fair :p are these boards. ;)

 

I hear you! Ds tried to negotiate video game time last night... and not very well, lol.

 

Unfortunately, I usually feel like I need to sharpen my skills if I'm ever going to hold my own on this board! :)

[Guest janainaz]

I love listening to others debate. I have more of an open mind. I feel like I know a little about a lot of things, but I don't have solid-footed opinions. I see both sides of things so clearly that somehow the truth seems to hover in the middle. Right when I think I've figured something out, someone comes in and stirs the pot. I love it.

 

While some men's hobbies include sports and "man-stuff", my dh's hobby is debating deep spiritual truth's - from every possible angle. He throws out the most random ideas and my typical role is to be the devil's advocate. I think debates are healthy and wonderful as long as the people involved are open to being wrong, or open to another perspective. I think it's good to challenge your beliefs because if you can't - there is no substance to them. I think some people shy away from debating issues because deep down they are afraid they might be wrong. Others expect a debate to end in a fight. My dh and his mother used to debate all kinds of stuff about Christianity and the church. Conversations got passionate - VERY passionate, but they hugged it out at the end of the night. My father will not enter into any discussion about religion or politics and my dh and I wonder what else there is to talk about. It's all so interesting.

[AuntieM]

No fair claiming your own teenagers- I won't have those for a few more years! :tongue_smilie:

 

Aw, shucks, that's exactly who I was going to mention. But can't I still count them if the topics we're debating are real issues, aside from the typical teens advocating for their own ways sort of debate?

 

I have so enjoyed seeing my kids reach this age of substantive discussion, about topics in literature, current events, history, religion.... sorry, I can't disqualify 'em!

 

In addition to my kids, I know few people who are willing to engage in deep discussion (boardies here not included - you folks rock when it comes to the Great Conversation!). Husband and I have often noted that people in general don't seem to really want to go much beyond superficial topics of conversation. I used to have a fellow homeschool mom IRL who was great at devils-advocate type discussions, but we moved and I miss her. I think one has to realize that an "attack" on a particular stand is different than an "attack" on a person, and perhaps many folks aren't able to see things that way, so they dislike that sort of discussion.

[Gretchen in NJ]

I do a little too much.:blush: I enjoy it so very much, and I love to take a view opposed to what I believe.

[Carrie12345]

Aw, shucks, that's exactly who I was going to mention. But can't I still count them if the topics we're debating are real issues, aside from the typical teens advocating for their own ways sort of debate?

 

I have so enjoyed seeing my kids reach this age of substantive discussion, about topics in literature, current events, history, religion.... sorry, I can't disqualify 'em!

 

My only reason for disqualifying them is because I'm so looking forward to those days, and they seem so far away! ;) Ds is beginning to question things and open his mind, so I'm getting glimpses of what is (hopefully) to come. Even my girls are beginning to point out conflicting "facts" now and again. It's enough to slightly dull my fear of teenagedom, lol.

In addition to my kids, I know few people who are willing to engage in deep discussion (boardies here not included - you folks rock when it comes to the Great Conversation!). Husband and I have often noted that people in general don't seem to really want to go much beyond superficial topics of conversation. I used to have a fellow homeschool mom IRL who was great at devils-advocate type discussions, but we moved and I miss her. I think one has to realize that an "attack" on a particular stand is different than an "attack" on a person, and perhaps many folks aren't able to see things that way, so they dislike that sort of discussion.

 

You're right. I wonder why so many people are afraid to challenge themselves and their ideas, or even share their ideas beyond "I don't like XYZ and that's that." I've always known I didn't want my children to be like that, but I don't think I've ever stopped to ponder why others are. Our homeschool group is made up of people who show signs of such varying opinions, but nobody ever seems to discuss them. I'm always worried I'm going to break some unspoken rule!

.

[i.love.lucy]

I love listening to others debate. I have more of an open mind. I feel like I know a little about a lot of things, but I don't have solid-footed opinions. I see both sides of things so clearly that somehow the truth seems to hover in the middle. Right when I think I've figured something out, someone comes in and stirs the pot. I love it.

 

I think this is me too! I like to debate, but I since I don't always know the subject very deeply I can get intimidated. And since I'm a pleaser-type, I tend to want to back down. I'm more of a fighter of injustice than a debater. Show me someone wronging someone else and I'll get all riled up!:boxing_smiley:

 

While some men's hobbies include sports and "man-stuff", my dh's hobby is debating deep spiritual truth's - from every possible angle. He throws out the most random ideas and my typical role is to be the devil's advocate. I think debates are healthy and wonderful as long as the people involved are open to being wrong, or open to another perspective. I think it's good to challenge your beliefs because if you can't - there is no substance to them. I think some people shy away from debating issues because deep down they are afraid they might be wrong. Others expect a debate to end in a fight. My dh and his mother used to debate all kinds of stuff about Christianity and the church. Conversations got passionate - VERY passionate, but they hugged it out at the end of the night. My father will not enter into any discussion about religion or politics and my dh and I wonder what else there is to talk about. It's all so interesting.

My husband loves to discuss deep theological things too! He has very few people that will debate or discuss with. I will mostly, but I'd love it if he had more male friends he could discuss/debate deep theological things!

[krisperry]

I'm married to a lawyer. 'nuff said. That man argues, I mean debates, in his sleep.

 

Luckily, I don't mind. Well, most of the time :lol:

[Denise in Florida]

Me too. I love a good natured debate. I am willing to discuss anything (politics, religion, comic books, etc).

 

It is hard to find people willing to play along. Some people become defensive or are simply unwilling to think deeply about something.

 

I have found one homeschool mom whom I love to talk economics and politics with. We found we could debate anything when we joined a book club and would debate semantics/plots/tropes etc. at the drop of a hat.

 

Apparently it makes some other friends nervous.:001_smile: They can't understand how we can argue politics all through lunch and still be friends and not demand everyone choose up sides.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I used to be able to do this with a good friend but she moved away. Now my dad and my 19yo son are really the only ones I can get into deep controversial discussions with. It makes dh uneasy. Other than that, I carry on arguments in my head. Does that make me crazy?

[Ester Maria]

In the US, it mostly comes down to my husband. Certainly I have talked about things past superficial level with many people, but I don't have a stable group of people with whom I could debate things.

Regarding the kids, the younger one (almost 12) is more of a "leave me alone to pursue my interests alone" type so she rarely gets into any kind of discussions that are not held in the "school time" as a part of school, out of a simple reason that she's usually not around, while my older one (almost 13) is very passionate to defend her position and willing to question things, but for most of the things she would like to debate she's still at the knowledge level that would disqualify her from serious discussions (which is normal, after all, she's a kid and is only discovering things). I have big hopes for her when she's a bit older though. :D

 

In Italy, my husband and I have a group of "family friends", consisting mostly of people we grew up with and we're still very close with, so whenever we're there (which is certainly 3-4 times a year), we take advantage of the opportunity of seeing each other all together and discussing everything.

There's also people I studied with (some of them are still in the academia today) and I talk to, though not on regular basis, and it's not a group of people, but more like isolated individuals.

[lapsetmom]

It makes dh uneasy. Other than that, I carry on arguments in my head.

 

This is me! This is me!

[Guest janainaz]

My husband loves to discuss deep theological things too! He has very few people that will debate or discuss with. I will mostly, but I'd love it if he had more male friends he could discuss/debate deep theological things!

 

My dh does most of his debating on Facebook. He's got a group of deep-thinkers that all speak the same language - even if they don't always agree. A lot of his friends from Bible college are on there and it heats up sometimes. But it also seems they keep each other in check. I love to hear about what they are discussing, but I don't know theology like he does and I can't challenge what he throws out there like some of the other people can. I also look at it like just because he does know a lot of theology, it does not make him right. Spiritual truths are simple enough for a child to understand.

 

We were part of a small group and church and he was not free to open up topics for discussion - it made others really uncomfortable. I just know I grow spiritually and benefit greatly just from listening. I'm not cut out for debate, I too get intimated and when I do throw a comment out there, it's often as if I didn't say anything. I learned to keep my mouth closed. :tongue_smilie:

[Carrie12345]

 

We were part of a small group and church and he was not free to open up topics for discussion - it made others really uncomfortable. I just know I grow spiritually and benefit greatly just from listening. I'm not cut out for debate, I too get intimated and when I do throw a comment out there, it's often as if I didn't say anything. I learned to keep my mouth closed. :tongue_smilie:

 

That's how I grew up feeling! While trying to break out of that mindset, I had one particular relative who would always make me feel like a complete moron. I think that's what inspired me to work on my technique and confidence. He and I have actually managed to have a few interesting conversations since then, though I'm still careful to stick to topics I actually know very well!