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I'm no longer a homeschooling mom, and I don't quite know how I feel about that...


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J's dad and I have decided in recent weeks that the next chapter in his education includes going to a private Christian school in the area. J and I visited yesterday, met the principal and one of the teachers (she designed/helped design the high-school English curriculum for Abeka), and J really impressed them--looked them in the eye, gave a firm handshake, and used "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" without prompting. They even said that given J's vocabulary in casual conversation and stated interests and what I've told them about our curriculum so far, he won't need standardized testing. He'll just jump right in with the other second-semester ninth graders, which is not something they generally do.

 

We've done a good job with him. This is what he needs. This is what our family needs--it's not like I was ever a traditional homeschooling mom, what with being divorced and a full-time grad student and having my time eaten up by so many different obligations lately--but I feel like I'm giving up on something.

 

In the last decade, because of circumstances beyond my control, I've had to become homeschooling mom and breadwinning dad. My ex won't work again, that much is certain, and sending J to college from a factory salary just wasn't going to cut it. I had to go back to school. I hated the time it took away from J. I realize now that all these events are just steps in his growth, that this decade has been one of drastic change for all of us, and was necessary.

 

I can tell myself intellectually that this is what he needs, and that's what our decision to homeschool has been about all this time--it was what was best for him at the time. I can't help feeling like I've failed something, especially since I was so excited about homeschooling through high school.

 

I also find myself a little excited--and a little relieved--about sending J to a place where he will have a distinct schedule, with inflexible rules and deadlines, and a chance to learn to work with others and work with distractions inherent in a classroom that are important in college. I still complain about parents who say, "Wow, I just can't wait until school starts again!" but I find myself eager to see him out the door every morning, even though it takes him away from me for much of the time he's in my custody.

 

Keep me in your thoughts today, guys...is this what it's like to have an empty nest? This feels worse than his first day at preschool!

 

:001_unsure:

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I understand. My youngest just graduated from homeschooling a couple of weeks ago. My part time job, that I have held for 18 years, is laying almost everyone off, except for the director. It all happened at once and I am sad. But I'm trying to remember it can be the start of many good things. I'm just trying to be excited about what's around the corner!

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