Age appropriate gifts

[Tidbits of Learning]

I am having a hard time this year. My kids are still at ages where toys are appropriate to give and still enjoy playing with things that are for their age group. My nieces (dh's sister's kids) are 10 and 5. I bought them age appropriate items for Christmas. I bought the 10 yr old some pixos and the 5 yr old a lite brite with extra My Little Pony sheets.

I thought these were pretty good gifts until I found out that they bought my 9 and 8 yr old dd's make-up, nail polish, and such and a stocking from Justice. To me, that is more a gift for a pre-teen or young teen. I can already picture my dd8 looking like a clown and my dd9 suddenly wanting to wear makeup daily like her 10 year old cousin.

I thought about going back to the store and picking up similar items for their girls, but I couldn't bring myself to buy more tween to teen items for a 5 yr old and really coudln't do it for the 10 yr old either. My dd9 picked out the 10 yr olds gift. They are only 11 months apart in age.

I am not against make-up or anything like that. I just don't think little girls need it. I got my first bits of make-up at 13 and they were just some blusher and light, light lipstick. I didn't get my ears pierced until 13. I looked like a kid until I was a teenager.

Should I try and add to their gifts with more tween-age items? Should I leave it as is knowing that they probably won't want the gifts? Should I dread a battle with my dd9 about the make-up that she is about to receive?

When did kids turn into teenagers so young? When did kids quit being kids?

[zaichiki]

Should I try and add to their gifts with more tween-age items?

I think you already answered this one:

"I couldn't bring myself to buy more tween to teen items for a 5 yr old and really coudln't do it for the 10 yr old either."

 

Should I leave it as is knowing that they probably won't want the gifts?

It's really about the thought behind the gift, right? Your dd picked it out. What's more thoughtful than that?! Plus, think about what you want your dds to learn from this experience...

 

Should I dread a battle with my dd9 about the make-up that she is about to receive?

Hmmm... yes? Sorry: I got nuthin' for this one... but I've got little girls growing up too, so I'll be watching for others' wise advice. :D

 

ETA: I just went to check out the Justice website (never heard of that store before). The stockings aren't too bad. I have to admit to painting my 7 year old's nails (so nail polish wouldn't bother me). Don't think I'd go for other make up, though.

 

Pixos look cute. (Never heard of them before I googled it just now, either. Boy, I've not heard of a lot, huh?) Toys R Us *does* say the suggested age is 4-8. A 10 year old friend of ours made my kids some ornaments from something like that and they were a hit all around, so maybe the age was just that particular pixo kit I clicked on... And just FYI: my 7 year old LOVES Lite Brites, so I think that's a GREAT gift choice. :)

 

 

 

Good luck! :thumbup1:

Edited December 21, 2009 by zaichiki

[Dobela]

Is it real make-up or the play stuff that just looks more real? If it was just meant for 'play' I would not be as concerned. My ds gave a couple of girl cousins (ages 9 and 5) the nail polish and lip gloss/chap stick struff that is exciting to them but relatively mild. I know friends that start taking their daughters for manicures as young as age 2 witht he purpose of making nail/hand care fun.

 

My guess is that the 10 yr old helped pick out the gifts and chose things that she would like to receive. And, if she is in public/private school these are items she is much more exposed to as well. If I added to their gifts, I might do the flavored lip gloss that is cheap ($5 and under for a small pack at WalMart and other stores) or some tiny sample bottles of nail polish at the beauty store or some childish color like clear/pink with lots of glitter (our Sally's has them for under $1 TINY BOTTLE).

 

If my dd received make-up and such, I would just allow initial play, with supervision, and then it might gradually disappear as interest wained. I would also emphasize the facial routine needed if one wears make-up.

[Rosie_0801]

I wouldn't buy anything else for the other girls, and as for the make up your daughter is going to receive, I'd schedule a girlie night and send any resident males out for the evening. Get some nice new shampoo and conditioner scented with lavender essential oil (not synthetic stuff because it doesn't provide those nice calming qualities of real essential oils ;) ) and something simple for skin care and take the opportunity to educate them on looking after their skin. Order pizza, paint your toenails and have a giggle. They'll remember the mummy time and the make up things will be learned within the context of being "grown up" not being skanky.

 

Rosie

[gandpsmommy]

I wouldn't go exchange the gifts you already purchased. They sound like great gifts to me. And you might be surprised; even though they purchased more mature gifts for your kids and might be excited about those kinds of items, they might love the toys as well.

 

We have some older girls in our neighborhood. When we moved here they were 7 to 9 years old. They were all into what seemed to me pre-teen and young teen things even though they were only in 2nd, 3rd, or fourth grades, but they were also quite fascinated by the toys and games my kids had. They loved coming over to paint and make crafts with our art supplies, play board games or Hullaballoo with my kids, and sculpt with Play-Doh.

 

Even now some of them will still come over to play with dd8. They happily play with things like Littlest Pet Shop Toys and Polly Pockets, or Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys.

 

Also, my in-laws purchased a makeup kit for dd when she was only 4. She used it to play dress-up at home and understood that she was much too young to wear it out anywhere. It wasn't really that big of a deal, and it only got brought out occasionally, under my supervision.

 

She does have a lot of nail polish, because she thinks it's fun to have colorful nails and sometimes even designs (if Daddy does it; he's more artistic than I). And we don't mind lip gloss, as long as it looks like little girl lip gloss and not anything too mature or too much like lipstick. But when the in-laws told us this year that they were buying more sophisticated makeup kits for the cousins (ages 9 and 10, I think) and asked if our dd8 would like one, we politely directed them toward gifts that dd would appreciate more and we find more appropriate for her age and interests.

 

As for the stockings from Justice, I wonder what is in them? They sell a lot of things at Justice that are appropriate for younger girls, too. My dd loves to shop there. She likes their more sporty clothes and t-shirts. I know some of their stuff can be over-the-top trendy and all about glam and glitz, but some of it is really cute. They have hair accessories,cute socks, Webkinz, and all sorts of things. So maybe the stockings will turn out to be a nice surprise.

[Tidbits of Learning]

I think the stockings were empty and they filled them. I am hoping that it isn't real make-up. I hope that our nieces like the gifts that were bought for them and I am sure my girls will love the make-up and such. I just don't want to encourage make-up and well acting older than you are or trying to seem older.

This will be the 2nd year that we have received more mature gifts. Last year, the girls got a make-up set that taught how to apply make-up like a model and it was super real make-up and barely came off and included eyeliner and mascara. It was definitely intended for a teenager.

I am so hoping it is just little girl make-up, but I also feel bad if we got them things that they may not enjoy. I am going to leave it as is though. My dd9 was super pleased at picking out the gift and wrapping it herself. I hope they will be happy and pleased with a change from what they normally get.

Also, does anyone have a clue how the Wimpy kids books are? It seems my 9 year old will be receiving some and I have never read them. I hope they aren't like the Captain Underpants series which I do not like.

I guess I feel bad about the gifts both ways. I know if it is real make-up that I won't let my girls wear it often and maybe just for a girl's night. I also hope that what we bought their girls will like and be interested in as well. I guess even when kids are close in age it is hard to gauge what is appropriate or what will interest them.

[ChristusG]

I never know what to get kids these days. I have no issues buying for DH's cousin who has three girls....they homeschool and seem to have the same parenting modes as we do. They want to keep their kids being kids. I can easily buy for their girls.

 

I had to buy something for a six year old boy and I didn't know what to buy. I ended up buying some army men. I hope that he likes things like that and is not too "old" for them.

[zaichiki]

Also, does anyone have a clue how the Wimpy kids books are? It seems my 9 year old will be receiving some and I have never read them.

 

Ick. Can you "see inside" them at amazon dot com?

[Tidbits of Learning]

Ick. Can you "see inside" them at amazon dot com?

 

The one I could look at on amazon dot com did not look promising. It was of a boy and how he wore speedos to gym and got made fun of and then about how his older brother picks on him all in kid handwriting with cartoon drawings. They are 200 page books?

It is the thought that counts, right? DH's mom got them for dd9 b/c that is what her 10 year old cousin likes and she felt bad that dd9 didn't have any of the series.

[Chris in VA]

Rosie, you are a great mom. I just love your posts, because you are always emphasizing the relationship in your interactions with your kiddos, and you encourage others to do the same. This will pay off big time when yours are teens, m'dear!

Thanks.

[Chris in VA]

You know, I've been known to change the books dd receives...and I don't care if I offend. I did that to my mom, who picked up some of the "new" Nancy Drew books at a thrift sale for dd. She mentioned she had gotten them; I gently said, "Oh Mom, thanks for the thought--you know I love M to read, but these books are not appropriate. I'm sorry, but I can't give them to her." Said in an apologetic tone. If she was offended, she didn't show it. She always asks me, now, and I just let her think I'm picky and easily offended.

 

I'd do the same or similar if someone tried to gift dd with the Wimpy Kid series. I'd then say I found some wonderful classics and would be happy to pick them up for her to give my dd.

Sorry, but I don't want that in my house, let alone in my dd's hands.

[Tidbits of Learning]

I wouldn't buy anything else for the other girls, and as for the make up your daughter is going to receive, I'd schedule a girlie night and send any resident males out for the evening. Get some nice new shampoo and conditioner scented with lavender essential oil (not synthetic stuff because it doesn't provide those nice calming qualities of real essential oils ;) ) and something simple for skin care and take the opportunity to educate them on looking after their skin. Order pizza, paint your toenails and have a giggle. They'll remember the mummy time and the make up things will be learned within the context of being "grown up" not being skanky.

Rosie

 

I think this is a great idea and would be fun for the girls as well as me ;).