gingersmom Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My daughter has been 13 for less than a month. I never yelled until the past 3 weeks. I think I now yell at least once a day. I start out in a normal tone of voice. No response. A little louder. Nope. A little louder. I think I see a glimmer of acknowledgement, but no. By then I am losing my cool. She goes from little girl sweet to rolling eyes and attitude in a snap. I have taken away skating practice this week. She gets no tv during the week. She rarely goes on the computer so I can't take that away. She walks around telling me all the things she wants. And what she wants and she wants and she wants. And why can't we live in a big house like x, y and z? Why can't we get a new car like x, y and z? Did I mention she asks for things non-stop? My hair is quickly going grey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat19 Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I'm right there with you. My daughter turned 13 in October and we just recently had a big blow up. I know I'm not ready for any more 13 year old tantrums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 If this started at ten (along with full-on puberty) will it finish sooner? Just wondering? Sob. I feel like I'm living with Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in TX Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 (and maybe boys too; don't know yet!). My now 15yo dd has been going through it since around age 13. She's a fairly high-stress personality (gets that from me), and the negativity at that age just *radiated* from her. And yes, I am guilty of yelling at her. But I've also had lots of quiet talks with her, when the stress is not running high, about how when the hormones start surging at puberty, our emotions can go haywire, and everything seems just unbearable. I remember this from my own adolescence, and from pregnancy, too. And how we need to work on self-control/not inflicting our natural stress on others. The good news is that they mature, generally. She really does make an effort, and she knows (I hope) that I know what she's going through. It's not nearly as tense around here as it was a year ago. It's really hard to live with someone at this stage of her development, and I often haven't handled it as I should. But a little understanding, while holding her accountable for her treatment of others, really helps. It's tough, isn't it! Hang in there... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 For me its not my girl, who jsut isnt like that, but my boy.... I try really hard to keep letting go and come back to a fresh start with him. I keep hugging him, telling him I love him, in quiet moments. I pick my battles. I dont want a war but sometimes I will stand my ground against all pressure too. They are growing up and still little kids all at the same time. I remember being 13- not fun. I think one of the problems with having teenagers is if we still have immature parts in us....they have a knack of finding them and making us acknowledge them :) Its a good time to know when to apologise :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My bi-polar just turned 13 and if we both live through the next few years it will be a miracle. I remember all of her sisters being a little moody and difficult from 13-15 but she unfortunately is just like I was and I don't know if I am as strong as my mother was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre in GA Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 She walks around telling me all the things she wants. And what she wants and she wants and she wants. And why can't we live in a big house like x, y and z? Why can't we get a new car like x, y and z? Did I mention she asks for things non-stop? My hair is quickly going grey! sounds like the script in my house except my teen is a boy. and 16. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 What kept me going was bedtime chats. No matter how terrible the day had been I went in a sat with them (one on one) at bedtime. I asked them how they felt and gave them a chance to talk. Or we sat in companionable silence for 5 minutes, or I apologized about how stressed I had been that day or whatever. I never argued or criticized during these times (I saved that for the next day ;)) These chats saved our relationships in the teenage years. now my girls are in their very late teens and 20's, but my boy has turned 13...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen_OK Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I have no great words of wisdom, but I can relate.:tongue_smilie: I have three teenagers; 18, 16, 14. They're all different, but they all know how to drive me crazy sometimes. I just have to treasure those glimpses of "maturity" that they do display. And I also am humbled by my own "immature" responses too often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My daughter has been 13 for less than a month. I never yelled until the past 3 weeks. I think I now yell at least once a day. I start out in a normal tone of voice. No response. A little louder. Nope. A little louder. I think I see a glimmer of acknowledgement, but no. By then I am losing my cool. She goes from little girl sweet to rolling eyes and attitude in a snap. I have taken away skating practice this week. She gets no tv during the week. She rarely goes on the computer so I can't take that away. She walks around telling me all the things she wants. And what she wants and she wants and she wants. And why can't we live in a big house like x, y and z? Why can't we get a new car like x, y and z? Did I mention she asks for things non-stop? My hair is quickly going grey! I can add sympathy. Our oldest dd has also been 13 for less than a month, and I think I am going to go bonkers. It's like a switch went off in her brain. Maybe we need to start a support group? Or a teen daughter exchange? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 If this started at ten (along with full-on puberty) will it finish sooner? Just wondering? Sob. I feel like I'm living with Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde. Don't you have a daughter and a son? Your sig says two dd. (sorry for the hijack, but I read this and was trying to figure out if you meant a daughter!) :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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