I'm not a morning person and yet dh keeps talking to me...

[Pajama Mama]

Ds9 started back to school this week. So I have to get up around 5:30 to get him ready. During the summer I slept till about 8. I'm tired but I can do it just fine. However, dh works nights. He comes home in the morning and is just chattering away. I talk with him a little but I really don't want to. After talking a little I start with nodding or just saying yes or no. Dude, I do not feel like talking right now. I don't want to be mean but WHY does he keep talking? We've been married for almost 14 yrs so he knows I. am. not. a. morning. person.

 

I appreciate it when he comes home and helps me get ds out of bed. He'll usually dress him and put him in his wheelchair. I then have to put on ds's braces and shoes, hook up the feeding machine, give meds and give ds a breathing treatment. This is my routine and I'm fine with it. But dh will sit there and talk while I'm doing these tasks. I usually use this time to "talk" with ds before he goes to school. Ds is non verbal but makes some sounds. I usually talk to him about his upcoming day. Ds is about the only person I can tolerate talking to me at 6 a.m.

 

Our other kids are like me. They are not shiny, happy people when they wake up. Dh isn't exactly a happy guy when he wakes up either. He reminds me of the morning that I woke him up early and expected him to talk right away. Umm, the water heater blew up and was leaking everywhere. I couldn't find the shut off valve.

 

So, how to I get him to keep his comments brief and then go away when it's morning time? He know this about me. This is not new. I love him dearly but not so much when I first wake up:glare:

[*********]

I'd suggest talking with your dh about it the next time the two of you have a few minutes; but NOT in the morning, when you're not feeling your chattiest. You know, best to have the conversation when you're feeling chipper, not annoyed. :001_smile: Just tell him what you told us; that you're not really a morning person, and don't generally like to chat in the morning, as well as the fact that you like to use that time to talk with ds about his day. Maybe you could encourage your dh to talk with ds instead of you? Your dh could share what happened at work with your ds, or give him some encouragement about ds's upcoming day, etc. Maybe if the chatter isn't directed at you, but instead at your ds, it would be better for everyone; your dh can still chat, you don't have to chat back, and your ds gets some special attention from dad? Just a thought. Good luck; I AM a morning person, and my dh is not, so I've had to learn to keep quiet until after he's up and going. :001_smile:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

:grouphug: No advice, just sympathy. I'm not a morning person, either. Luckily my dh leaves around the time I get up! But, he does insist on talking to me or the kids when I'm trying to read stories before bed, and that drives me crazy! I always ask him to stop interrupting, but he never seems to catch a clue!

[Pajama Mama]

Thank you for the sympathy. I have tried to discuss this with dh before. My brain is just not awake at that time. It's 10 a.m. and I'm still barely awake-lol

[melissel]

Is it possible that he's so tired when he comes home after a night shift that he can't really control himself? I've been that exhausted, and my dad (who worked rotating shifts) used to call it "midnightis"--when you find yourself rambling on and on and asking bizarre questions after a midnight shift.

[MrsMe]

Ds9 started back to school this week. So I have to get up around 5:30 to get him ready. During the summer I slept till about 8. I'm tired but I can do it just fine. However, dh works nights. He comes home in the morning and is just chattering away. I talk with him a little but I really don't want to. After talking a little I start with nodding or just saying yes or no. Dude, I do not feel like talking right now. I don't want to be mean but WHY does he keep talking? We've been married for almost 14 yrs so he knows I. am. not. a. morning. person.

 

I appreciate it when he comes home and helps me get ds out of bed. He'll usually dress him and put him in his wheelchair. I then have to put on ds's braces and shoes, hook up the feeding machine, give meds and give ds a breathing treatment. This is my routine and I'm fine with it. But dh will sit there and talk while I'm doing these tasks. I usually use this time to "talk" with ds before he goes to school. Ds is non verbal but makes some sounds. I usually talk to him about his upcoming day. Ds is about the only person I can tolerate talking to me at 6 a.m.

 

Our other kids are like me. They are not shiny, happy people when they wake up. Dh isn't exactly a happy guy when he wakes up either. He reminds me of the morning that I woke him up early and expected him to talk right away. Umm, the water heater blew up and was leaking everywhere. I couldn't find the shut off valve.

 

So, how to I get him to keep his comments brief and then go away when it's morning time? He know this about me. This is not new. I love him dearly but not so much when I first wake up:glare:

 

I am NOT a morning person. I require silence and an hour to myself. The first year we were married I thought dh could figure it out. I left subtle clues, I asked, I said please...etc. Finally after a year, I finally just told him to shut up. Believe it or not he actually thought it was funny!. But you know I just couldn't handle it anymore. Since then he's always left me alone.

 

I know it seems mean, but we both started laughing at the time. We still laugh about it. But geez, sometimes being nice doesn't cut it. He's one of those annoying people who when they're up, they're awake. I'm not. I'm groggy, I'm tired, I love, love to sleep.

 

So maybe you could just say, "Honey I love you, but would you just shut up? :lol::lol: Just kidding....worked for me.

[eternalknot]

Is it possible that he's so tired when he comes home after a night shift that he can't really control himself? I've been that exhausted, and my dad (who worked rotating shifts) used to call it "midnightis"--when you find yourself rambling on and on and asking bizarre questions after a midnight shift.

 

:iagree: I work crazy shifts, and the late-night is just a big shock to the system LOL. I spend all night at work fighting to stay awake, and then by the time I get home in the morning I'm in this weird wired-but-exhausted mood where I can't control myself. I talk alot. Gibberish. Doesn't make sense to me or to the person I'm talking to. But I want to spend time with them ... rather than just get home and fall straight into bed ...

 

My mom (who is the one who stays with my kids) is enough of a morning person to get my kids up and ready, but like alilac she has also been known to tell me to shut my mouth and give her ears a break already LOL. I think your husband would be so tired, it wouldn't necessarily register (to him) as being overly harsh a request.

[Peela]

I am pretty blunt with my dh, and he with me. In a situation like that, I would just tell him straight 'please dont talk to me" or "shut up, please". He would get the point (and probably continue just to tease me, until I said it again a couple of times! :) )

 

I did have to train dh recently. I am a morning person and I get up at 6am for meditation and quiet time. The rest of the family normally gets up around 7am, including dh. However, sometimes, he just wakes up early and comes out to make a cuppa. He walks straight in on me in my quiet space and starts talking. I accepted it a few times. Then I thought, no, he can learn to leave me be till 7am. I had to tell him straight, with some emotion and force (hes not your most super sensitive guy, doensnt get subtleties very well)- just dont talk to me till I come out of my space. Once he got it...he was fine.