I am so frustrated!

[LinRTX]

I just talked to my 20yo dd on the phone. She is a junior college transfer so this is her first experience with dorm life.

 

Her dorm is set up so that three "bedrooms" share a living area and bathroom. They had to come to an agreement on others in the room. They had to sign it and turn it in. The agreement was betwwen 7 a.m. and 10:30 p.m. for school days and weekends have no restrictions.

 

Her roommate is now angry and wants her boyfriend and other friends (all boys) over any time she wants --that means all night! Which means my dd cannot take a shower or anything without the guy being there.

 

For our family, guys even in the room would be a problem so the agreement was already a compromise.

 

Doesn't this girl understand a signed agreement?!! And I just find out she is 27 years old and only a college sophmore because she likes to party so much (the roommates own words). Why would a 27 year old want to live in a dorm just to sleep with all her guy friends. Seems like an apartment would make that so much easier.

 

I hate the college dorms of today.

 

Linda

[LaxMom]

I would find that troubling, too, and, for me, the boyfriend sleeping over would not be much of an issue. I would find it entirely frustrating that a 27 y.o. is not mature enough to abide by an agreement she entered willingly. And I honestly don't know why she hasn't the brain power to come up with the obvious solution: if you want to sleep over, spend the night at BFs place! Duh! (<- yes, I let my inner 12 year old out there ;))

[Mom-ninja.]

That is frustrating. Is there any way your dd can switch dorm rooms?

[Mommyof4ks]

How frustrating! Guys were not even allowed in girls dorms at the college that I attended. That seems ridiculous.

 

Can she talk with whoever she had to turn the agreement into? It seems if an agreement was made and signed, then she must abide by it or move out, no?

[Amy in MI]

I agree that she should honor the agreement. Last year my ds was a freshman and their rooms were set up so there were two bedrooms with two boys each and a common room. My sons roommate was actually having his girlfriend sleep over in the same room. :eek: He had to finally talk to his RA to get it taken care of because roommate was uncooperative. This year he opted to live in a different dorm that has separate rooms for each person, and a common area. I hope everything works out for her. It's so hard when they go away and then have trouble on top of it being their first experiance away from home.

 

Amy

[Jami]

May I recommend the article "Dorm Brothel" by Vigen Guroian if you want to hear your frustrations echoed by a professor on a college campus?

 

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/february/13.44.html

[Amy in MI]

That was an insightful article. Thanks for sharing it.

 

Amy

[melissel]

I would find that troubling, too, and, for me, the boyfriend sleeping over would not be much of an issue. I would find it entirely frustrating that a 27 y.o. is not mature enough to abide by an agreement she entered willingly. And I honestly don't know why she hasn't the brain power to come up with the obvious solution: if you want to sleep over, spend the night at BFs place! Duh! (<- yes, I let my inner 12 year old out there ;))

 

:iagree:

[Sandy in Indy]

This is why I encouraged my kids to choose schools where they could live at home. I'm really not interested in this kind of lifestyle for my kids...nor are they interested in it. They've chosen, willingly, to devote themselves to the reason for college--STUDY rather than play. (Yes, they participate in social activities on campus but it's not their primary focus. Classes and grades come first.)