Just got back from a HUGE birthday party...is it just me????

[NorthwestMom]

The gifts are not a focus for me, so it disturbs me that people might think we are grubbing for gifts. I really don't care if kids bring gifts or not, but since almost every party we attend is a traditional party, gifts are part of it. Yes, we keep the gifts. Because we usually have multiple kids from one family, there are not 40 gifts on the table. My children write thank you notes for what they receive. Kids usually like to come over for a play date and see the gift they gave, and have a chance to play with it. I use impending birthdays and Christmas as a way to motivate my kids to give older, outgrown toys to Goodwill.

 

Maybe this has something to do with extended family experiences? We have no extended family in town, so there is no "family party" vs. ""kid party". There are zero cousins to play with or invite. Our friends are our family.

[Moxie]

I don't know if this was mentioned (no time to read the whole thread) but lots of schools around here have a rule that "if you invite one child from the class to your party, you have to invite the whole class". Glad I homeschool!!

[LibraryLover]

My dh and I are both from fairly large families (I'm one of 4, he's one of 6), so all of our parties are gigantic. We also have good friends, including homeschool ones. (This is our 7th year, so we know many hsers). My sibs and I are all about token, small gifts, but I've never told people not to bring gifts, although we all agree to keep it realistic and understated. I suppose there is nothing very understated about the numbers of bodies at our house for parties. I just had a hs evening gathering that I planned the morning of the event. I was surprised at how many people there were, considering it was such short notice. No presents, but lots of S'mores for the kiddies. :) I would say our main way of socializing is through parites. This may be more of a family culture issue than a moral one, I think. I don't think my kids are spoiled or entitled. They are hard workers, and kind. I think our parties have given our chidren good memories and family lore. They have certaily gotten their share of gifts in their lives, although that is not why we have parties.

Edited August 24, 2009 by LibraryLover

[Jumping In Puddles]

I do understand that more introverted or busy families don't see this the same way we do.

 

I know many families that like to do big parties and go to big parties and I would say you are far from alone with that. :)

 

We are definitely a more introverted family and yet we always have big parties because we know a lot of people but it goes against my nature to want to have a lot of people around all at the same time! (aka a party :lol:)

 

I also hate receiving a lot of gifts although I do appreciate when someone has put thought into a gift for my children. Mostly though, it seems we get re-gifts :glare: or stuff that my kids would never play with. Sometimes a good friend will be so excited to give one of my kids a gift because they know they will love it and that is heart warming! Even if my kids hate it, it really is the thought that counts! Some things are junk and I find it hard to believe thought went into it.

 

Here is an example of two gifts we received this year: one was from a good friend of ds. It was a backpack with a flashlight and bug net or as my son calls it, his "adventure pack" AWESOME! is what my son said.

 

Another gift was this plastic art thingy that looked like it was for a 2 year old with "paints" that only work on this special paper. Ok, I'm sure some kids would love this but if you knew my son then you would know that it is not really something he is interested in. I know some people will think I'm sounding ungrateful (but seriously, I wish NO ONE would bring a gift because they are celebrating with us!) but I can't imagine any thought went into a gift like that.

[swellmomma]

 

SO NOW LET ME ASK THIS:

 

To those of you who do not HOST birthday parties, do you let your kids go to them? I've intentionally held back invites from my girls (they never knew they were invited) from children they hardly knew (pre-k classmates whose parents I had never even met, and the kids PDG never even mentioned).

 

Yes, but not to every invite they get. It depends on how well they actually know the child and if it fits into our schedule.

[Meriwether]

Last year, when my son turned 4, I had about 40 people at his party. It started small but grew quickly. At first we were going to have the little boys from church (a pirate party). Then we decided to invite any siblings that wanted to come. We go to a small church. All the kids are homeschooled. The average family has about 4 kids. It wasn't hard to get close to 30 kids. Next, my sister (who lives in Spain) was unexpected able to come with her 4 kids, and a friend of hers from across the state came to see her (with two more kids). Then my SIL brought her 3 kids up, again, unexpectedly. It was just one of those things that grew.

 

I didn't mind for several reasons. I have big parties for the sake of all the kids, not just mine. Many families come from 30 min. to 1 and 1/2 hours away to go to our church. It takes an effort for the families to get together. All the kids love the parties we throw (we throw at least one a year besides birthday parties just to give the kids a good time). I do goodie bays for them, too. For the pirate party, they all got a reversable pirate vest (yes, I made one for each kid), a sword, and an eye patch. I view it as a ministry to the church. It is good for the kids to have fun with one another and have some shared memories. My kids enjoy the planning. Organizing a large event and working to make it happen are good skills to learn. It is also a good creative outlet for me.

 

We always request no gifts. None of the kids seem to mind. As a side note, all the kids in church know when my kids birthdays are:tongue_smilie:. Oh, there is a little girl who has the same birthday as Dd. Because we do no gifts, it is no big deal. We sing happy birthday to each of them.