Chris in CA Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I recently thought of a phrase that would fit me to a T and could be my epitaph "In an effort to be thought perfect; she was not thought of at all" I think I need more friends, socialization, etc. and need to break down my walls - this is the first effort : ) So anyway - Has anyone here changed an aspect of their personality - can it be done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Of course it can be done. I tend to isolate myself too, even though I have some dear friends. I really enjoy my own company .Something shifted in me though recently when a friend said to me "I just need to say this- I feel like I am the one always phoning you and visiting you...could you just phone me next time for a change? " At first I was hurt. Then I realised, thats how I feel about lots of other friends- no one visits me...but, this friend does and I needed to put back. So I made an appt to meet her for a weekly yoga class that she goes to and that works for me timewise- we chat in the car afterwards. It means we actually see eahc other regularly. I feel nourished and that I have stepped out of my little world into the larger universe of people :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 You are so not alone in this. Since dh left in May I stayed pretty isolated for a month and then just threw caution to the wind and went out and met all my neighbors.:001_smile: I've been buying baby gifts for my neighbors who I don't know but anyone who's away from family definitely needs the birth of their baby celebrated. I've spent at least an hour outside talking to neighbors each night. I feel so much better. I'm thinking of starting a building book club and inviting all the moms over for dinner one night...just to socialize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CookieMonster Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I think I need more friends, socialization, etc. and need to break down my walls - this is the first effort : ) So anyway - Has anyone here changed an aspect of their personality - can it be done? Yes! Just do one thing. It'll lead to other things. Sometimes what you try to do doesn't work out. That's cool, though. The effort of trying to reach out brings out good things in us. (You know it's the journey not the destination...) So if you hit a dead end with one thing, try something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tami Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Yes! I am reserved and very private by nature. I tend to be very shy. Times I've been hurt by other women don't help. :confused: However, in the past few years, I've decided to put myself out there. I choose to be really transparent, without attempting to seem better than I really am. I am just MYSELF, and try to be around other women who share interests and who are like-minded and see what happens. In our homeschool group, for example, I started being real. VERY real. One dear friend in the group decided to do the same. The Lord used it, and soon more and more women were letting go of the Perfect Homeschool Mommy facade and being free to be honest. Transparency coupled with a commitment to encourage other mothers has rocked my world! It kinda turns off the snobby, fakey-bake moms, but who cares? And yes, occasionally you are going to get burned. They key is to shake it off, and move on, rather than condemning the entire human race for what one person has said. ;) Blessings!!!:grouphug::hurray::seeya: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Yes, it can be done. Go for it, girl! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon H in IL Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Perfectly well put, Tami. One of the keys to shedding an overabundance of self-consciousness is to put your focus on helping someone else feel more comfortable. Once you realize that we're basically all in the same boat, however we express ourselves, as extraverted or intraverted, all of us share a nervousness and wish to be liked for ourselves. The fakey-bake ones (LOL) just as much as the obviously floundering ones. They just work harder at hiding it. ;) I'm considered very sociable and outgoing by others, but my secret is that I know The Big Secret: we're all vulnerable and worried and scared. So, stick out your hand, look for projects to try that bring you together with like-minded ladies, and keep trying. As Tammy said, not everything will work, so don't expect the first attempt to be the last. It's a process. And others will be so grateful to you for starting the ball rolling. Because they have A Big Secret. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in CA Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 Thank you, yes that is exactly that - I isolate myself. Thanks for the encouragement I also need to make the effort - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in CA Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 wow, that is really great - thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in CA Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 thanks, I truly think I just think (read worry) too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in CA Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 Thanks Tami - this really helps alot, I'm going to save this thread for those moments I'm socially paralyzed. I'm private and reserved as well - I like that you said you are being "very real" I need to do just that and focus on meeting others needs - not my own - sigh, so much work to do.... But God is able : ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in CA Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 : ) thanks Stacia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in CA Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 Really?? Is that true...This is an epiphany for me - is everyone really scared. I'm not being sarcastic, everyone seems for the most part so confident and put together.... thanks that helps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.