Shelly in IL Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 He hasn't made it to actual graphic sites, but has been snooping on things like large br@#sted beauties, etc. So, how do I nip this in the bud. Obvious ideas: no unsupervised internet ; maybe only for school related topics/no computer game time. A serious talking to (Christian content, morality, protecting gift); a talk addressing the fact that the curiosity is normal, but searching out in this way is not acceptable. Any other suggestions? I'm not really worried about talking to him about these things - we're very open as a family to discussion. I"m also thankful that it was discovered this early on (history only has about 5 sites). I think if we handle it correctly this could be a big step on the more serious issues of the future. Thanks for the help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 (edited) BTDT. I think what you have listed would be plenty. I wouldn't do much more than that because it would give this more importance that you want to. I believe it is important not to overreact. Kind of like the little kid with swear words. One other point I would make is that many of those sites have viruses and spy bots and other undesirable programs that can get on your computer and play havoc. It's the gift that keeps on giving. I found out that ds had used my laptop to view some undesirable sites. I was very ticked that he polluted my computer with that junk. Also, I was mad at dh for not doing his job in the man-to-man discussions he should have been having with his sons. Edited July 13, 2009 by dirty ethel rackham I hate it when I accidentally hit enter too soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerdad Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I would strongly suggest "no unsupervised" internet time. Indeed I'd recommend whatever computer they use to have a physical connection that can be stored away from the computer when you don't want him using it. I've been recommending a USB wireless dongle for parents of teens for a while now. Add on top of that a frank conversation. Including how easy it is to both track where he's been and get spyware/viruses when going to questionable sites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Would it work better if Dad has that conversation with him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in MD Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Don't forget the "worldly" reasons. Often curiosity and lust is used as bait to draw in victims. These sites are often sources of viruses and, I assume, ID theft. Also they draw boys and men in to spend big bucks. Discuss also how the images are "improved" with plastic surgery and image manipulation. Talk about the effect on the models and women who don't participate, but find that men are measuring them up against this "ideal". I'd also look for pictures of real women, fully and partially clothed. National Geographic can help with that, especially with women in the tropics who've had several children. Then can you find other things that would satisfy his curiosity but not be , hmmmm, obnoxious? I know I was always wanting to know what a male looked like around that age, strictly of scientific curiosity. When I told my mother many, many years later it dawned on her that she had brothers to learn from. I only had sisters. I can also threaten my ds with taking over his sex education from his df. That terrifies him. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I have a friend with a 13 year old son who has been in a similar situation. She has some software blocker on her computer now that her kids can only go to pre-approved websites. Any other website requires a code that only she knows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 Here's a filter that we use. It's free for home users. I think it helps curtail the temptation when a filter's in place http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 My kids have a games computer each in the playroom downstairs, and a laptop computer in the schoolroom upstairs. (Dh loves to buy 2nd hand computers and upgrade them for us all). When we realised our 13yo was also looking at inappropriate material, we decided to disconnect the internet from the games computers. There was also an issue of looking at many You Tubes and showing visiting friends- and some were just unsavoury altohugh not se*ual. He just liked to pull up horror movies and anything shocking. I was worried a visiting kid would see something completely innapropriate for his age. In the schoolroom (which is also the family room), the laptops are not allowed to be taken to their bedrooms, and they both are to sit so that the screen is facing into the room so that at a glance we can see what they are looking at. Both had kind of worked out how to be on their laptops at an angle we couldn't see anything. I used the excuse that I had caught ds playing computer games during schooltime- which was only a part of the issue. We didn't make a big deal about it, and I don't actually watch what they are doing very often, but its enough to stop anything inappropriate. I agree not to make too much of a fuss. In our case, I left the discussions up to dh, although ds knew I knew. Honestly, we didnt want to shame ds too much because we feel it is a natural urge- we just want to redirect his attention and limit access. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre in GA Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 Opendns is an easy, free way to block inappropriate content. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 Put the computer somewhere in the open, where anyone walking through the room can see the screen. Ours' is in the kitchen; there's no privacy at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in CA Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 Here's a filter that we use. It's free for home users. I think it helps curtail the temptation when a filter's in place http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ This is what we use. It works GREAT and best of all, it's free. I even have it blocking advertisements...so instead of seeing some half dressed woman advertising a dating service...we have the K9 protection dog. Hehe. :D I keep social networks like YouTube and MySpace blocked, yes even from my older boys. They come to me to unblock it when they want to go into any of those type sites (social networking sites), and even then they only get it for 15-60 min. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly in IL Posted July 14, 2009 Author Share Posted July 14, 2009 I'm just so thrilled that we caught this before it morphed into something bigger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamamace Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 This little program is great for blocking questionable content. I searched one day for coloring sheets from an old 80s show and hit a woman completely naked from the waist up! I was shocked as was my 6yo daughter! http://www.cinchworks.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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