[Word-of-the-Year People. Thoughts on 2020's Word? Ideas for 2021?]

1 hour ago, Acorn said:

I will need to think about 2021 some more. 
Can I say that the 2020 overused word of “pivot” should be banned? 

Right along with 'unprecedented'.

[Need Game ideas]

Sequence

[Purpose / Meaning / Joy - Some kind of framework?]

Stoic philosophy has been on my radar for a bit. Man's burden in life, at least sometimes, is to suffer. And the idea of purpose can be joy in the good times, but can also be something that makes the suffering meaningful. So letting the dog out to pee, providing shelter for your child's friend, doing the work to heal your body, going to work to pay down debt... these can be the things that drag you out of bed in the hard times, propelling you along until life moves into a less painful phase.

At least that's the premise as I understand it.

[Purpose / Meaning / Joy - Some kind of framework?]

24 minutes ago, Jenny in Florida said:

See, it's the "when I'm not working full-time" thing that's the glitch. I do work full-time (at a job I chose in part because I do believe that, underneath the corporate concerns, I am helping to provide a valuable resource to people).

That is one of a list of aspects of my life that limit my opportunities to explore some things I might otherwise attempt. For example, I have a variety of health concerns that demand a certain amount of time and resources. Only because my employer and my direct management have been incredibly patient and accommodating have I been able to continue working full-time while juggling more doctor's appointments than I can to count for the last 18 months. I am entitled to a few hours of leave each year that are specifically tagged for volunteering/community service done during regular work hours. However, I save those to "spend" on a couple of volunteer things I do every year. 

I also have a husband who has some chronic pain and an assorted of emotional stuff he's trying to address. He's got a wonderful heart, but is easily overwhelmed and stressed. So, I have to be careful how much I impose on him. (At the moment, although my son has moved out, we still have his ex-girlfriend living with us. She's not a lot of trouble these days -- it's sometimes hard to tell if she's even home -- but my husband still finds it uncomfortable to have another person in the house.) So, foster care of either humans or animals, and similar commitments are not things I can take on.

We live in a rental home and already have our limit of (adopted and rescued) animals. My dog is not friendly with other beasts. I keep an eye on the pets in my neighborhood and have escorted home a fair number of wanderers, but I can't bring home any of them.

I have reached out and put myself on the list for volunteer training at a local organization I have supported for several years. Right now, they are not doing any in-person stuff, but I do follow their newsletters and jump in when I can. They actually just put out a plea for holiday donations, so my husband and I are going shopping tomorrow to pick up some things. We're adopting a family for the holidays through the same group.

So, much of my "helping" ends up boiling down to giving money. When I moved from working at a non-profit (county library) to this corporate gig, I got a nice bump in salary. One way I salved my sadness about leaving the library behind was to pledge to donate at least a percentage of the difference between what I made at the library and what I now make to local non-profit organizations.  When I get a raise, they get one, too. It's not now and will never be a ton of money, but I know they appreciate the steady stream of monthly income. And that's great, and I know that, in many cases, just giving a group bucks for them to spend in thoughtful and strategic ways is bottom-line more valuable and efficient than some amateur showing up on their doorstep to help. 

But it somehow doesn't look like "purpose" to me.

Would it add more meaning if you were on the board of a charity, helping to decide where donations might do the most good? You could also apply thought to making a targeted difference?

[Purpose / Meaning / Joy - Some kind of framework?]

3 hours ago, Jenny in Florida said:

It's possible you all are sick of hearing about my ongoing existential crisis. If so, I apologize, and I won't hold it against you if you go read something else. Honestly, I'm sick of me, too.

However, if anyone has the energy and patience to help me wrestle with this question a bit, I would appreciate it.

I've been really flailing pretty much since my son finished homeschooling and my daughter moved out in the same summer. I went back to work, starting part-time and then building up. I did a graduate certificate. I've done some volunteering (and continue to do what I can under the current circumstances). I've explored a bunch of self-help resources. I visited a bunch of churches, both in-person and virtually. I've tried diving into hobbies I always felt like I didn't have time to indulge, including putting some of my artsy stuff out in public for the first time. I bought myself a bunch of tickets for theatre and performance events (all of which were cancelled when everything shut down in March). I've spoken to a social worker and worked with a counselor and spent several months on anti-depressants.

But I'm still feeling really lost. 

Don't get me wrong: The pandemic and shutdown, combined with my own health issues over the last 18 months, have definitely not done me any favors, emotionally.  However, I've been pretty much only barely holding it together since way before all of this kicked in. 

What I keep circling around to -- and what the counselor I was meeting with said, too -- is that I just need to find some source of meaning or purpose in my life. I had it as a mom and haven't found anything in the last several years to fill that void.

I just finished an eight-week wellness program run by one of my doctors, and finding meaning/purpose was the theme of one of our sessions. However, it turned out to be more about finding joy, which, to me, is not the same thing at all. (I mean, I haven't been especially good at locating joy recently, either, but still . . . )

The only thing other than my dog that drags me out of bed in the morning is working towards fitness goals. I do virtual walking and stationary biking challenges, and I've been trying to maintain a reasonably healthy weight and generally take better care of myself. And, I mean, it passes the time, but it doesn't approach meaning or purpose.

The best twisted logic I've been able to manage for myself is that taking care of my health means I am less likely to be a burden on my family and that I am able to continue earning money I can use to pay down debt we acquired while I wasn't working and give to organizations I support. 

But that still falls pretty short of "purpose" for me.

So, any thoughts? What gives your daily life shape or meaning? What do you consider your purpose? And, if you ever felt you had lost it, how did you find it again?

 

Volunteer work. Trying to make life better for people in our community.

Killing time until I have grandkids... jk.... maybe

[Rural Canadians - Internet Options (is this an issue in rural USA too?)]

If there is a community facebook group in that area, that might be a good place to ask.

[Rural Canadians - Internet Options (is this an issue in rural USA too?)]

1 hour ago, jen3kids said:

I do know about the rural high-speed internet dream coming from Elon Musk and others, but that's not an option yet, unfortunately.

DH and I have bought a house in rural NB with the plans to retire there within the next 5 years.  We're currently keeping it as our COVID quarantine house, our youngest goes there occasionally as a break from University, and we may eventually list it on AirBnB.  But we need to solve the question of internet.  We don't want to pay a combo deal for satellite TV so we just want basic internet that we can hopefully hook up some sort of internet TV box to it.  We're also considering getting an aerial with the hopes of picking up local channels, but that might not be possible.  

Fibre-optic cable doesn't go to the house, so we have to go with high-speed.  There are only 2 service provider options, but we'll probably go with the big one, Bell, due to the atrocious ratings of the other option.  My question is how well does a Roku box work off of high speed.   Would you recommend something other than a Roku?  We plan to stream Netflix and Amazon Prime as well, if that impacts anything.   

Thanks!

 

So this would be Bell satellite? Or do you have cell service and can get a smart hub? We have the smart hub and Roku works great with that. I've heard satellite is supposed to be faster now, but I would need some convincing that it could reliably stream before going that route again.

[Well-Trained Bodies- October]

Trails have been wet and slippery lately, so mostly dog walks with the odd run on a nice day, which feels really great after the longer breaks.
Got some snowshoes for my birthday! I messaged a couple of friends, one was not keen on it but suggested x-country skiing. We have a friend who sets a trail in her hayfield. The other one is interested in snowshoeing and had already been thinking about getting a pair for Christmas. She also lives where there are x-country trails set in the winter so she'll see if she has a pair hiding in their barn.
I just took the last of the kids' hockey stuff to the consignment store. 😢 They told me I already had a credit there, must be from some other gear I guess, so x-country skiis are in the works now as well, yay!

Yoga is still happening.

I love food way too much. Something must be done as the scale is creeping steadily in the wrong direction. I keep getting ads for Noom in my Facebook feed, so clearly the ad algorithms are working accurately for me, lol. No plan as of yet, just feeling a definite need to set myself some boundaries. 😕

[Wedding invite]

9 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I am NOT a stickler for etiquette, and I generally don’t care how anyone chooses to celebrate their own commitment to another human being. Weddings are not a huge deal to me, and I consider all bets off during a pandemic. And there are zero hurt feelings involved.

Still, I somehow manage to find it slightly (considering pandemic) odd that dh would receive a wedding invitation without a +1.  For an out of state wedding.
Sure, it’s an employee that doesn’t know me personally, but does know that dh has been married for 20 years and that the location is the town next door to my family. Hundreds of miles away from our home.  One *might think that a married couple would travel to such a thing together.

Dh isn’t going, lol. Groom seems disappointed. But is it not a bit... odd?

If it wasn't just an oversight (it can be a challenge to keep numbers down), and your dh had planned to go I would be tempted to go along and visit family while he attends the event. Win-win.

[. . .]

19 minutes ago, frogger said:

Forget frozen surfaces, locker rooms are atrocious. There have been a multitude of outbreaks from hockey. It's hard to get rid of locker rooms for hockey due to the type and amount of gear they wear. No one drives to the rink outfitted for hockey. Skiing, baseball, etc you can just show up in uniform. 

Actually yes, players are being asked to show up dressed and use the dressings rooms, a few at a time, to lace on their skates only. It's gotta be a challenge if you live far from the rink, I'm not sure if I had young kids again whether I could pull it off. (No siblings allowed either, which would have been a deal breaker way back when.)

[. . .]

8 minutes ago, BaseballandHockey said:

Yep we all got flu shots.  

I think hockey is a hard no.  At the point when I stopped paying attention, we knew the virus did better in cold environments, so indoor, contact sport, and freezing cold?  That seems like a no.  Even indoor basketball or something would be better.  Luckily we don't get a lot of snow, so he can play roller hockey with his brother and the neighbors in the driveway. 

Just a thought, maybe check in to how your organization is doing hockey. Here, there is no contact, no face offs, no away games - it's essentially modified practices and house games.  Major limits on numbers and spacing for dressing rooms, lobby, bleachers, even how many on the ice and on the benches. But yeah, recirculated indoor air does seem like no.

[Well-Trained Bodies- October]

23 minutes ago, Dreamergal said:

There is an apple bisque ??? May I please have a recipe for the amazingness. 

Butternut Squash and Apple Bisque

1/4 c. butter
1/2 c. coarsely chopped onion
1 Tbsp. minced garlic
2 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and chopped
4 c. Butternut squash, peeled, seeded and chopped
4 c. chicken stock
1/4 tsp. turmeric
1/8 tsp. ginger
1 tsp. sea salt
1/8 ground white pepper

I think the last time I made this I omitted the brown sugar and added a few potatoes to bulk it up. 

[Well-Trained Bodies- October]

6 hours ago, Ali in OR said:

I did a modified dumbbell workout today. Most of the modifications were taking out the stuff that I usually enjoy and consider a break from the weights--anything with the slightest foot impact, like step-tap. I stepped, but just brought my foot in without tapping. And I took out an exercise series with lunges--don't want to lunge on my toe yet. I'm not going to do cardio ballet tomorrow--too much focus on feet and releves (sp?) that I won't do yet. So maybe yoga, maybe I'll look through my other workouts and see if any are lower or no impact!

I got my crockpot going already--trying a butternut squash bisque recipe that came from an American Heart Association Slow Cooker recipe book from the library. It has squash, carrots, red onion, chicken broth and will get a little half and half at the end. It's seasoned with a little salt, coriander, and cumin, but I ran out coriander and probably don't have enough in there. What else would you put in? Can you put smoked paprika in a bisque?

I love paprika. Smoked paprika is distinctive, but I could see a little bit rounding out those flavours. The Butternut Squash and Apple Bisque recipe I've used calls for garlic, turmeric, ginger, nutmeg, salt and pepper.

[Calling all costume crafters - help needed!]

seriously not a crafter, but styrofoam packing maybe?

[Bread bakers - an ingredient question]

I have used apple juice as an adequate substitute in other recipes, though not the same flavour as the real thing, for sure. I have not used either in bread. Since you don't know what it would taste like otherwise, if it were me I would try it with the fruit juice.

[Do young adult women wear leg warmers?]

Not in my location

[What gives you energy when you really need that lift?]

22 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

This does it for  me

https://www.theoystercatchers.com/videos/37281-this-girl-can-ii-2

IIRC, I loved the 2015 one, watched it many times. This one is at least on par. Fabulous! Thanks for sharing. 

[Well-Trained Bodies- September]

I've taken a break from PT exercises. Hip bursitis is quite improved - new mattress really, really helps.
Last child at home, 20yo ds, is off to trade school for 6 weeks, so I've got daily dog duty. My jog 1km/walk 1km is now 5 days a week. So far so good!

[Well-Trained Bodies- September]

12 hours ago, wintermom said:

Is it just me, or is there an new look to the forum?

I slept really well after an active day yesterday. I've completed my stretch/strength exercises and plan to go for a long bike ride with ds 14, plus a couple dog walks. 

My motivation to make dinners is really inconsistent, but over the years I'm consistently inconsistent. 😉  I love reading about all your interesting dishes, and I really want to try them all! I'll chip away at it bit by bit. Today I'm making candy squash casserole.

To my amateur eye it looks like it may be more device-friendly.

6 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

I'm not a big chutney fan, but the other two sound great!

Rats. I was going to share an apple-cherry tomato chutney recipe.

[First backpacking trip]

On 8/30/2020 at 8:53 AM, Carol in Cal. said:

My biggest regret in life is that I didn’t know about the John Muir Trail until I was too old and run down to ever backpack it, but as I have been getting in shape this year and even losing a little weight, I have set a goal to section hike it little by little, late in the season, after the rivers have died down and the snow has melted.  I would love to find a Sherpa arrangement for this as I don’t really want to carry the backpack, but there doesn’t seem to be anything like that around.

You go!  Rocking IT!  I’m ecstatically happy for you!

BTW, what shoes do you have?  I love my Altra Superior 4 trail runners, but have heard that they don’t necessarily hold up well enough for serious backpacking.  

And you were right to bring the Crocs.  My go to for that use is my Teva water sandals.  I have some classic ones that have a lot of adjustments in the Velcro straps, and then sturdy clips so that the adjustments don’t have to be redone every time you put them on, and they are great for around camp but also for those stream fords and even for some hiking—very stable and comfy.   The only drawback is I have to remember to put sunscreen on the tops of my feet in them.  Once I forgot and then rubbed on some mud, which worked fine.  It’s just crazy to have only one pair of shoes when you’re traveling on your feet, I think.  Too much depending on too little.

I googled 'John Muir Trail guided hike' and several companies popped up. Not sure about covid or price, but something for the future maybe.

[Well-Trained Bodies- August]

On 8/28/2020 at 7:50 AM, Ali in OR said:

30 min barefoot cardio then found another short yoga--Yoga for Flexibility. Saved both in my playlists.

Paid work doesn't begin until Tuesday, but I have an 8:30 meeting Monday. 8:30 is when my work day will begin (I think) in my new routine, so I will practice getting up at 5:45 and see if I can get up, take care of the pets, put away dishes in the kitchen, do a 30 min cardio workout, get dd up, medicated, dressed, in her stander, and feed her breakfast, then shower, get ready, eat breakfast, get dd out of stander and situated with her toys and music and be at my computer with mocha by 8:30. We'll see how that goes!

Today--morning cleaning chores, then go work with my alg 1 teacher in the afternoon. Have a good weekend ladies!

Good luck!

[Keeping chickens in winter.]

Depending on snow load, think about your roof and coop access. Also keeping water open.

[Anyone want to talk about Falwell opening Liberty University back up?]

40 minutes ago, Quill said:

Wait, what? Is *that* his prior “explanation” for what’s going on in the pants-unzipped on a yacht photo? Ummm...that does not jibe with the picture I saw. Nor with the words in the tweet. 

As to your second paragraph, you mistake my intentions. I simply do not trust anything looking like “good news” wrt this virus. It always seems to turn into foolish optimism in my experience of the past several months. 

ETA: So many questions, as I just looked at the photo again, trying to see it as a pregnant-belly joke. Why is his arm around a woman with their clothes in this state, if it was just a preggers joke? Is she pregnant with his child? Because otherwise, who would permit that photo, i.e., if I ever made a pregnant belly joke like that, it wouldn’t be with any man but my husband, if I would ever do it to begin with. He claims his jeans are too small to zip, but why would he have too-small jeans on a trip? And the “black water” photo prop (riiiighhhht...). 

I can really relate to that feeling, for sure.

[Anyone want to talk about Falwell opening Liberty University back up?]

I see this Falwell thing keeps growing. My reference was only to the first photo, and sorry but a pregnant lady and a middle aged dude comparing bellies in a photo should hardly be a scandal. But yeah, so often that stuff is just the tip of the iceberg. Not surprising, sadly.

As for a private university making use of protocols and achieving some success: Sorry to interrupt with even some faint optimism. Please carry on, I swear not to mention anything positive in this thread henceforward.

 

[Well-Trained Bodies- August]

15 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

 

 

@KathyBC the lake swim sounds lovely.  I swam in the sea a couple of times in the winter but then it was too far to drive during lockdown. And now I'm scared of jellyfish.  I'm hoping to venture in next month.

 

That sounds so cold!!
We have a lovely swim from the dock to the island and back, but we don't actually go onto the island unless boating or kayaking, because leeches. Once it starts getting weedy, we turn around and head back, lol.