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Noreen Claire

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Posts posted by Noreen Claire


  1. I keep reading about children, especially older children, 'helping' in the house. That doesn't fly here. That mindset is based in the idea that, "These are someone else's jobs, and I am doing something extraordinarily nice to them to make their work easier". Nuh-hun.  :thumbdown:

     

    We are a family, and the work that needs to be done in this house is not MY work, or DH's work, but the work of the entire family. You live here, you work. Housework, yard work, work to bring money into the house, whatever - we all do it and no one thinks that they are 'above' it. (Well, 20yr old does some days, but he no longer b*tches and moans about it, he just does it.)

     

    OP - keep up the good work! We also demand that when you go out in public that you are presentable, neat & clean, and that you excuse yourself from the dinner table. Our kids go through phases when they fight it, but we stick to our guns and they come back around. This, too, shall pass!

    • Like 3

  2. I have RW and love it! My bill is usually less than $17.50/month, as they refund you for data that you don't use at the end of the month. You don't need to buy data if you are around wifi. I mostly use the wifi in my house (and in Target).

     

    They are adding 7 new phones to their line-up in July (buy from them, or bring your own). Of course, they will support the old phones forever, even the flip phones.

     

    The last update really took care of any dropped call/lost text issues that I had had previously. The customer service is fantastic, too!

     

    FWIW, my husband and oldest son are using PagePlus cellular, and each pay $30/month for their plans. I'm trying to get them to switch, but no one here likes change. :lol:  PagePlus will work with any Verizon Wireless phone, (non-data, android, and iphone). They have some cheaper plans, too.

     

    Good luck choosing a phone company.

     

  3. It won't really help much for one month, but I use a price book app called 'price cruncher' (android) that has helped me figure out which stores sell my twenty or so most frequently purchased foods the cheapest. Has helped me cut about $100/month from my grocery bill.

     

    Also, here's a great PDF resource for living on $4/day per person: Good and Cheap.

     

     

     

     

    • Like 3

  4. 20yr old son works *nearly* full-time. His summer goal is to score a full-time position and play as much PS4 as humanly possible.

     

    7yr old son's summer goal is to learn to walk to the local bodega, ice cream shop, and his best friend's house by himself. (All are within 1/2 mile but involve crossing busy streets with random disappearing sidewalks and/or no crosswalks.) He will do 1st grade 'light' (math/spelling/grammar/handwriting) during our quiet time each afternoon to fill in any gaps left by his lost 1st grade year in the public school. :-(

     

    Mom, Dad, 7yr old, 4yr old, and 2yr old sons will spend the majority of the summer in the back yard, at the town beach, and at local playgrounds. We have one weekend planned with my husband's brother and sister and their families at Story Land in the White Mountains of NH.

     

    Bring on summer!

    • Like 2

  5. Search online to see if there is a physical cloth diaper store within driving distance to you. Our local store provides a cloth diaper trial program, where you can pick out a certain number of different types of brand new diapers and use them on your baby for 2 weeks (for a small fee). At the end of trial, you can buy the ones you like for a discount, or just give them all back and call it a wash.

     

    I have cloth diapered 3 children (the oldest was completely in disposables and, looking back, was horribly sensitive to them but I didn't know that cloth diapers were an option 20 years ago). We have used prefolds & covers, flats & covers, fitteds & covers, fitteds & wool, pockets, all-in-ones, sized (s/m/l), and one-size diapers. Everyone has their own preferences and washing routine. Take everyone's recommendations with the knowledge that their kids/washer & dryer/family situation is different and realize that YMMV. (I sold cloth diapers for several years both online and in a small physical store. It was a great learning experience.)

     

    We wash laundry every day, and diapers are washed M/W/F. We have used cloth-diaper specific laundry detergent before, without much issue. Just be aware of 'brightening' detergents, which have optical brighteners that coat the fabric and make it less absorbent. DO NOT USE FABRIC SOFTENERS, pee will eventually run right off the diapers and out the legs - ask me how I know.  :banghead:

     

    I could write a small book about the pros/cons of diapers, but I have to go shower and get ready for church... I'm sure that you'll get lots of great information here. Good luck!

     

     

    • Like 2

  6. My 20yr old son passed the written test on the first try (hallelujah!), but failed the on-road exam with the state trooper a few months ago. He stopped in the crosswalk, instead of before it, and was automatically failed. He had to wait until he was 18 to even get his permit, as his epilepsy wasn't under control due to constant growth spurts/weight gain/medication dosage changes. I've only driven with him a few times (my car is a stick, he usually drives with my mother), but he's pretty good for a newbie. The problem is that he isn't the 'go-getter' type, so he has no plans to take the exam again in the near future. Grrrr...


  7. I would not let a child be held back a second time under any circumstances. Are we talking about him being 10 at the start of 3rd grade and eventually graduating at 20? That is going to be a disaster later on. Students who are held back are at very high risk of dropping out of school.

    ...

    I would not allow him to be held back a second time.

     

     

    The first thing I would do is set up an evaluation so you can address things over the long term. I think having so much trouble learning to read, plus the school suggesting an auditory processing issue, definitely calls for that. Then you might know if there's a specific problem to address, or if he's just now ready to read. 

    ...

    Choosing the private school puts him another year behind for the long-term. Public school and home school, however problematic, can be one year decisions. Each would give you time to get evaluations rolling, view his progress, and make more of a long-term plan. 

     

    I agree with these two statements. As a public high school teacher, I have seen my share of 18yr old sophomores; they know that they shouldn't be there, and the majority dropped out due to the social issues this has caused, no matter how well they were doing in school at the time.

     

    Write a letter to your local public school's Special Ed dept requesting an evaluation and deliver it as soon as possible. Meet with the Special Ed coordinator and tell her the whole story, and ask what THEY could do for your son over the summer/next year. Use next year as a learning/evaluating year and then make plans from there. 

     

    Good luck to you both!

    • Like 8

  8. Thanks to everyone who responded.

     

    I know that we will have to make an effort for him to get social time with his current friends and provide regular opportunities for him to meet new people/make new friends. I've looked in to local homeschooling groups and there doesn't look like much in my immediate city; however, the surrounding towns have a few which we will check out. There is also a youth group at the local church that we will look into. I joined the local mother's club, so that may provide some opportunities as well.

     

     


  9.  

    Plus I'd love for them to be good roommates to others and eventually good husbands. I want the to cook and clean up after themselves, do laundry etc.

     

     

    I want this, too. So, so, so badly, I do. My problem is that, with all of his medical issues and executive functioning deficits and complete lack of intrinsic motivation, I spent so much time during his teen years trying to *improve* him that I completely forgot to *enjoy/encourage/appreciate/love* him. I screwed up so badly, it hurts my heart.

    • Like 1

  10. The language in your post is a bit worrisome to me.

     

    "I've decided to homeschool"

    "My husband thinks it would be detrimental to the 7yo"

     

    Eek.  You have two parents, on opposite pages. So let me ask you - how often do you get out of the house with the 4yo and 2yo?  Have you looked at concrete social opportunities for your 7yo and how doable they are for your family?  How does your 7yo feel about staying home?  Are you prepared for resistance from him, a new baby, and a husband who is looking at the year critically?

     

    I've homeschooled with a reluctant husband on board.  He and I had a LOT of discussions about meeting needs and re-evaluating every year.  I never would have done something that he was definitely opposed to, though.

     

    My husband was completely on board, until he gave me the, 'the Kid is really social; public school is good for him' statement out of no where the other day.

     

    DS plays sports ever season, spends time with cousins/grandparents regularly each week, and has a handful of friends from school who live within walking distance. We are going to spend this summer working towards him being able to walk/bike to the corner store (4 blocks, 2 major streets with crosswalks), the playground (1 mile, 1 major street, no crosswalk), and his best friend's house (1/2 mile, 1 major street, no crosswalk), on his own. The little boys and I go out several times during the week, for errands and trips to the library, zoo, etc... We probably won't go out as much after the new baby is born for a while, but we will enlist help getting him to sports and the library so he doesn't miss those opportunities.


  11. I've decided to home school. In the fall I'll have a 2nd grader (7 yr old), a pre-k (4 yr old), a toddler, and newborn in Oct. (Plus the 20yr old, who works near-full time.) I believe that I am all set and ready to go, with a realistic plan and necessary materials. 

     

    The issue? My husband thinks that it would be detrimental to the 7yr old, because he is such a social person. He feels that public school is the better place because he *needs* the companionship/constant interaction with other kids. I don't disagree that we would have to do some work to get him the social interaction with peers that he would be missing, but I don't necessarily think that I would be doing him *harm* keeping him home.

     

    Words of advice from those who have been there, done that? Thanks.


  12. I thought leaving the room when you need to cry was a normal social skill. Can you tell me what's a more typical response?

     

    This is how we parent here. If you (or me, for that matter), need to release emotions for a few minutes before we can gather ourselves back up to rejoin dinner, we leave the table. If a child (or myself) is actively approaching hysterical, they don't go alone - we parent them in the other room until they are capable of returning to the table. This is a skill that we start with early, and continue to work on it whenever necessary.  I see absolutely nothing wrong with the way you chose to handle it.

     

    Sorry you had an unhappy experience on mother's day, of all days.

    • Like 2

  13. In our house, my oldest has a rectangular, shelf-sized basket in the fridge that holds 'his' food, i.e., food that is for his work lunches, food he asked for specifically that I don't wan't eaten by anyone else, food that he buys for himself, and his leftovers from his outings with friends. When the little boys get bigger, we will add baskets for them as well, and the top shelf is usually for leftovers that will be used for the next meal. (Treats are occasionally hidden at the back of the vegetable crisper. Don't tell!)

     

    Can you set up a 'Do Not Eat' shelf? A place specifically for things that you have planned for meals, that they know not to touch. Everything else in the fridge is fair game?


  14. Texas has figured it out. I was on WIC when my youngest was a baby and it is a card. And you didn't even have to sort out your order. Just ring it all up, insert WIC card, and then pay the difference. It was so much easier than the checks I had to use in Alaska.

     

    They started rolling out the cards a few months ago, and phasing out the paper checks. Depending on your state, though, it may not have been implemented yet.

     

    I remember using the checks, and *paper* food stamp books, 20 years ago. Mortified every.single.time I had to go to the store. Husband at the time (now long-divorced) made it easy on me - he found a local store that would sell him cigarettes for food stamps. That took care of me going to the grocery store as much. Damn, I was hungry a lot then...


  15. Sounds like you could be talking about my oldest, with the exception that he never did great (he could get Cs if he tried, he just didn't want to). He went to public school and I would get emails from his teachers, in real time, about how he was sleeping in class again, not participating, hadn't done the homework, etc... In middle school he was diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disorder, inattentive ADD, and was determined to have absolutely ZERO executive functioning skills. He squeaked out of high school by the skin of his teeth. I never cried so hard.

     

    That said, he's now 20 and working *nearly* full-time at the local supermarket. It isn't what I pictured for my oldest child, by far. However, it is his life, and all I can do is love and support him.

     

    I wish I could offer words of wisdom on how you could help or 'fix' your son's issues with school work. I guess all I can say is that, I feel your pain. Good luck, mama. :grouphug:

    • Like 3
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