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Noreen Claire

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Posts posted by Noreen Claire

    so upset <jawm>

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    :grouphug:

     

    Do you know why the SSN couldn’t work with that system? I’m guessing it’s the HR system or background check system.

    It's a background check system. I have no idea why it didn't work, but the help desk person said it wasn't unusual.

    so upset <jawm>

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Wow, I'd be furious too. Does he have it in him to fight it? Maybe to go down there over his lunch hour and talk to her in person? Did he ever talk to someone at the actual place of employment, or just the job recruiter? Grrrrr.....

    He was interviewed by people from the company, originally. This contact person is just in charge of the paperwork, drug testing, etc.

     

    My mother works there and is going to talk to someone in HR to see if he can get another shot at the final hoop. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but not holding my breath.

    • Like 5

    so upset <jawm>

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    A while back I posted about my oldest having an interview for a job that he didn't initially want, and what I was going through trying to get him to take the interview and consider the job. Well, he went to the interview, he did well, he was offered the job, he decided that he actually wanted the job, and he has spent the last few weeks jumping through a million hoops before he could start the job.

     

    There was a hoop last week that he had trouble with - the website he needed to create an account with didn't recognize his SSN and when he called the tech support hotline they told him to call the job recruiter to fix it. He has played voicemail tag with this person for the last week, as she would never answer when he called and he was always at work when she called back. He saw last night (Wednesday) that he missed an email from her on Tuesday and that the job offer has been rescinded because he wasn't able to jump that last hoop. 

     

    He's understandably upset, but I am FURIOUS. I know that this probably happens all the time and the recruiter probably has a list of other people who want this job but..... I'm just angry. I'm angry FOR him. I'm angry AT him. I'm just angry. It's not fair. (I know it probably is fair, so please don't point that out to me. Spare me. I'm upset for my kid here.) 

     

    There are so many details that I'm leaving out  but, I guess they don't really matter. This is the way the real world works and I understand that but we just had our hopes up - HE had gotten his hopes up - and it's hard to suddenly realize that you have lost the opportunity at a real grown-up job with benefits and double your yearly income. I'm just so sad for him... This kid never gets any breaks.

     

     

    How do I deal with this?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I think the speech therapist was fine too. If this kind of thing is a regular sticking point, maybe he needs a fuller evaluation to see if something else is going on to cause that level of rigidity? Are transitions hard in general? Maybe you could have a quick conversation with the therapist about it and see what his take on that was. I think relationships like this take time to build and I wouldn't necessarily want to get too overly involved.

     

    Does he homeschool? Just wondering - kids get stuff like this at school and in classes all the time. My daughter started violin at 4 and her teacher ALWAYS required nicieties at the end. Well, she's 13 now, and what was super hard at 4 just flows from her mouth now. That was super annoying at the time. My daughter was an extremely shy, quiet, clingy preschooler. The hardest part of her lesson was always the end. I'm actually really grateful the teacher took the time with this. I've seen it carry over to other situations.

     

    At the dentist, I would have said, I guess we'll pass on that today taken my child's hand and left. That's not her job and going to the dentist is stressful. I wouldn't necessarily tolerate it from other adults.

    He is homeschooled, though he did do a year part-time at nursery school when he was three.

     

    This is just one part of his personality. He's not rigid in most situations or about most things, but if you tell him he *has* to say something, especially to someone he isn't comfortable or close to, he shuts right down/gets angry. If I model it first, he usually picks up the hint and follows suit. I just need the therapist to lay off of forcing the issue until DS is more comfortable with him, and then I think he'll be fine.

    How do I deal with this?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

     

    Does he have ASD? There was rigidity about things like that with my Aspie son when he was young. I dealt with it by warning him ahead of time that he would be required to do or say certain things. We even practiced at home in role playing sessions.

    He's not diagnosed, but he does have some issues with rigidity that have been decreasing with time. If the therapist doesn't force it, I'm sure it will come with familiarity. However, I'm afraid that DS5 will shut down completely to the therapist if he continues to push it before he's ready.

    How do I deal with this?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted · Edited by Noreen Claire

    "I was not aware that XYZ had been included in our speech goals. At this point in time I would like to focus on his /r/ and /l/ sounds. Next time we revisit his goals, we can evaluate if manners will become a priority at that point."

    This is what I'm thinking I'll do, thank you for the words I was looking for. He goes to speech ONLY for articulation issues, not for expressive or receptive speech. Maybe this is the therapist's default, but it was upsetting to DS5 and I don't want it affecting his comfort level with the therapist.
    • Like 2

    How do I deal with this?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Regarding the therapy... I don’t like that either, but is it possible that ds and the therapist had been going over those particular words and the therapist wanted to have ds say them in context before he left? I still don’t agree with the way they about it, but it may explain it somewhat.

    He's working specifically on /r/ and /l/ sounds right now, so I'm fairly certain that this wouldn't have been related.

    How do I deal with this?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    When DS5 came out of his speech therapy appointment today, I could see on his face that he was not happy. When I asked him how it had gone, he told me that the therapist would not let him leave the room until DS had said 'Goodbye" to him. He told me that he didn't want to, but the therapist made him say it before he could leave. I'm not sure how long this took, but it couldn't have been more than a minute or two.

     

    DS5 does not react well to being told to say 'thank you', 'I'm sorry', 'please', or similar things to people that he is not very close to. Last night I reminded him to 'Say goodnight to Miss Shirley" when we were at the library, (and he did), but he is fond of Miss Shirley and has known her for some time. If I had been in the room with DS and his speech therapist (I was waiting outside with three other kids), I would have said "Honey, let's say goodbye to Mr. B. Goodbye Mr. B! See you next week." as a way to model appropriate behavior and also to take the pressure off of him having to speak when he doesn't want to. He's only been seeing this therapist since the beginning of Sept. He would say goodbye to the old speech therapist, but he had known her for several years (and it took a while before he would).

     

    If this child says 'thank you' or 'I'm sorry' to you unprompted, it is a HUGE thing and he really means it.

     

    This isn't the first time/place that this has happened to DS5. Just last month, the dental hygienist had a tug-of-war with him over a bag of tooth brushes and small trinkets because he would not say "thank you" to her. I was in the room, but I didn't have the chance to say "Honey, let's say thank you for your goody bag. Thank you! See you next time." before she was demanding that he thank her. She literally would not let go of the bag or let him leave until she got hat she wanted. He just dug in more, and wouldn't look in her direction. I tried to diffuse the situation, but it took a few minutes to get her to let go. He was emotional as we left.

     

    How do I deal with this (in general) and what do I say to the new speech therapist so that this doesn't happen again? We are obviously working with DS5 to help him see when these things are appropriate, but how do I weal with the ADULTS when they act this way with my 5yr old?

    When do I start to panic?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    We had a serious wind and rain storm overnight and the power went out around midnight. We don't live in a place where the power goes out often or stays out very long. However, this seems different, as there was so much wind damage.

     

    I spent half of my monthly grocery budget this weekend stocking up my freezers and refrigerator. How long before I have to start worrying about all my food going bad?

    • Like 1

    Tongue tie and lip tie

    in The Learning Challenges Board

    Posted

    DS3 had serious nursing issues, and I first took him to a pediatric ENT at children's hospital in Boston and that was an expensive, bloody mistake that didn't help. I drove the 3 hours to Dr. Kotlow and the laser took 5 minutes total (tongue and lip ties) and breastfeeding was immediately improved.

     

    Around the same time, DS5 was evaluated for early intervention due to articulation problems. (He never had trouble nursing.) I brought him to Dr. Kotlow at age 3 for the lip and tongue ties. As he was older and had already had a bad experience with a dentist, he was given Versed first. The procedure took 5 minutes. He healed well. He is still in speech therapy for articulation issues. I had wished that we had known about his ties earlier, before he started talking, and maybe he wouldn't have the trouble he has now.

    • Like 3

    Help me choose a new bag? (frivolous post)

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I like the Melinda because I prefer one that has shorter handles rather than a sling.  Otherwise, I'd probably go with the other one because it is slightly smaller.  I am also picky about my purse.  I just bought a new one that I *thought* was a good size.  I even compared it to the one I had that is starting to fad and it only seemed slightly larger.  Well, it's like a cavern in there when I'm trying to find stuff.  I'm ready to throw it out and just go back to my old faded one because it is the *perfect* size for me. 

     

    Good luck with finding one.  I usually pay less than $60 for my purses, so those are pretty but out of my price range.

     

    I'm always wearing the youngest boy in a back carrier when we are out, so I prefer a cross-body bag, but do like the option of having the shorter handles.

     

    These aren't normally in my price range, either. However, this is going to be my Christmas gift PLUS someone gave my husband a $50 gift card PLUS they are 15% off through Monday. 

    • Like 1

    Help me choose a new bag? (frivolous post)

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I've been looking for a new bag for ages, with no luck. I'm picky and I can't find anything that I like. Please help me decide between two online options (or point me in another direction)!

     

    I have a small purse; it barely fits my wallet, keys, and phone (and, if it has all those things in it at the same time, I can't zip it closed). I don't carry a diaper bag. I need a bag large enough to carry my stuff plus have room for some other stuff when I'm out with my little boys, like a disposable diaper & small wipe pouch, maybe some granola bars or a few apples, a small card game, a water bottle, and a book. However, I DO NOT want to carry a giant bag.

     

    I've narrowed it down to two options from the same company as my current bag (and wallet). As I've only purchased one purse in the last 15 years, I'm okay with spending a bit on this purchase. It needs to last!

     

    Here are my choices:

     

    "MOLLY" - dimensions: 10" wide x 10.5" tall x 3" deep, with the optional inside slip pockets

     

    or

     

    "MELINDA" - dimensions: 10.5" wide x 9.25" tall x 4" deep, with the optional inside elastic pockets

     

    Which do you like better, and why? Which should I buy?

     

    Thanks!

     

     

    Cleft Lip and Palate and Various other things

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Congratulations to you and welcome, Crispin!

     

    DS21 has syndactyly toes. DS8 had swelling in the kidneys prior to birth. DSs 8, 5, and 3 all have sacral dimples. I have absolutely no advice but to say that nothing has ever come of any of these things and all 4 boys have no ill effects.

     

    I will keep you both in my prayers.

    I bought 2 avocados...

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    You should try one first! Avocados are very mild. Are they they wrinkly black skinned hass kind, or the green smooth skinned kind? Are they hard or a little soft? (They should be a little soft. You may need to shove them in a paper bag with a bruised apple to ripen them fast if they're not.)

    Wrinkly black-skinned kind. They were green-ish yesterday, and soft and black today. I'm guessing we need to eat them ASAP or they will be bad.

    WWYD? Friend's kids and food

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    From the other side....one of my kids will eat and eat and eat when the opportunity presents.

     

    I have a child that leans toward the anxious side of things in social situations. If we take a picnic, he eats his serving, my serving, and his brothers' servings (they are usually too busy being social to bother eating). He will happily accept food from other people.

     

    Then, we get in the car, he's full and happy, but my other two are starving, and there is no food left for them. I have stopped at Chick fil A so many times from this scenario. So.many.times. The alternative is to drive with hangry children in traffic. Or these days, I keep boring granola bars as back up food. But it took me YEARS to figure this out. Embarrassingly long time.

     

    To other people, it looks like he doesn't eat at home, but it's just his anxiety coming out.

     

    My kids are also obsessed with sweets and especially sweet drinks. When they were little, they would drink sweet drinks (juice, lemonade), then not eat food because they were full of drink, then melt down when the sugar high wore off. (This repeats at parties or holidays if we allow sugar drinks.) Because of this and a super high number of cavities, we transitioned to water only many years ago. We have a sugar drink on Friday nights. But my kids are CRAZY obsessed with sugar drinks, and they ask every.single.day, multiple times a day for them (if we pass by a store, they ask to stop and buy, despite this being our family culture for 6+ years.)

     

    Seriously, I could have written this myself! Exactly! From the anxious kid who will clear the snack table at a party all by himself right down to the one sugary drink on Friday nights (with pizza takeout). They may also get one glass of chocolate milk during the week, but not always. However, my kids are obsessed about candy and juice all.the.time. *sigh*

    • Like 1
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