Noreen Claire
-
Posts
1,753 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
1
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by Noreen Claire
-
-
It's so hot and humid here today that the thought of having to make dinner makes me want to cry...
Cheese sandwiches, anyone?
-
1
-
-
I texted my best friend while I was following/waiting for DS to get back. Her youngest are 10 & 7. She said that she had recently received a robocall from her town that someone driving a white van had attempted to abduct a 12 yr old girl. She isn't going to let them go outside of her sight ever. She thought I was nuts.
-
Good job. Before you know it you'll be a full fledge free range parent sending him on the NYC subway by himself :D
My oldest, almost 22, was raised by a heavily-armed helicopter Mama. I did that boy no favors, and am struggling to help him launch now. Those mistakes shall not be repeated!
-
13
-
-
I think paying for the person behind you is becoming a thing. I see it pretty often in places like Starbucks.
Since it is common I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that there is anything creepy the way I might have 10 years ago.
Congratulations! That's a big accomplishment for an eight year old.
Turns out, the man was there with his kids. I feel better about that. Of course, DS ordered a LARGE, which is pretty expensive!
-
2
-
-
He's back! He did a good job on all the crossings. He wasn't paying attention as he walked right past my street, however...
Also, the man in front of him paid for his ice cream. I'm not sure how I feel about this...
-
11
-
-
I let my 8yr old walk to the ice cream shop by himself.
I followed him to make sure he crossed the streets okay. It's 2 streets, only .3 miles. I went back up into the house to grab my water bottle and am now having a panic attack at the bottom of my street waiting. I can see the entrance to the parking lot from here, but not him.
Gah. I could just vomit.
-
3
-
-
This thread is full of such great ideas...that I keep thinking are impossible to do here. *sigh*
Our driveway is slanted towards the street and in desperate need of repaving and our street is a steep hill. No riding bikes/scooters/whatever.
We don't have trees to hang swings/tires from. Also, hanging one tire swing for these three kids? Civil war.
DH hates sandboxes. (Also, we spent a LOT of money removing the literal half-ton of sand in the yard after tearing down the above-ground pool when we moved in. No sand is coming into this yard again, ever.)
DH had the kids help him to dismantle the old pool deck & reclaim the wood into a shed this past spring. He's not home much during the week, but he does include the kids in projects over the weekend. I need stuff that they can do with minimal parental input/supervision.
We DO have a large pile of small rocks from under the swimming pool that I can have them move using buckets/wheelbarrows to another spot in the yard where they can use them to play. I will try to get them some construction toys and maybe some army figures to use out there. I am also going to look into making a DIY water/sensory table or a mud kitchen for the back corner of the yard.
I love the idea of going to the playground for longer times (and walking). Maybe in the spring, when the 3yr old is better able to manage his bodily functions (no public restrooms). Though, I will NOT give up quiet time each afternoon, so it will require significant rescheduling of our school day.
Thanks for all the ideas. I'm rereading them and plotting...
edited for so.many.typos.-
1
-
-
Why on earth is your DH against buying a swing set / playset? That's what my kids do outside. .
He believes that they won't get used. There are lots of playsets in my area, but you never see anyone playing on them. We have 4 playgrounds within a five-minute drive, and we often go there after school time is over and on weekends.
-
Oh, I give my kids outdoor assignments as part of schoolwork, too. Jump rope 100 times, pass a soccer ball back and forth 50 times. Etc. Those chores take long enough that they have usually thought of a better way to do it, or something they'd like to try when they are done. If not, at least we've burned a little energy!
This sounds good!
-
What about scrap lumber, some nails, and a hammer?
Weapons. Someone would require a trip to the er!
-
How do you get your kids to go outside, and what do they do once they are out there?
My boys (8, 5, and 3) NEED to go outside during the day. I have built-in breaks during school time mid-morning, and before/after lunch. (Only DS8 does any work after lunch.) DS 5 & 3 could be outside most of the day, if I could get them to go! They just don't want to go outside. DS5 would prefer to spend all day upstairs using Legos. DS3 will go outside sometimes, but wants to be doing whatever his brothers are doing. DS8 prefers to read and/or annoy me for attention during breaks.
They do better when they spend more time outside! I often throw them all out the back door and tell them that they can't come back in until lunch/whatever, but I don't want outside time to be seen as a punishment. (TBH, I spend very little time outside myself, as I also have an 11mo old and really need a few minutes of quiet here and there away from the noise of the three boys.)
What do your kids do outside? We have a small-ish backyard with an unused soccer goal, misc. sports balls, etc. (Baseball bats are given only under husband's supervision, as they will hit each other, rather than play baseball.) When there is snow, they sled on the little hill in the back. We have a small, hand-me-down plastic playhouse but they mostly use it to see who can climb and sit on top of it. Husband is against buying playset/swings/trampoline. They use chalk on the front sidewalk. They can't ride bikes on the street, as we live on a steep hill.
What can I do to get them outside more?
FWIW, we have several playgrounds within a 5-minute drive, but I don't want to have to put them into the car.
-
All of them. I have all the irrational fears (and most of the rational ones, as well).
Falling down the stairs. Children dying. Driving into a lake. Children dying. The dark. Children dying. Being attacked by wild animals. Children dying. You get the idea...
Yes, I should see someone about my anxiety.
Edited: terrible spelling error!
-
2
-
-
Well, after work last night, DH somehow managed to talk DS into taking the interview. He stressed repeatedly that he didn't have to take the JOB, but going through the interview would give him options to choose from.
The interview is this afternoon. Please keep him in your prayers.
Thanks, everyone!
-
14
-
-
22 would be young for someone with on the spectrum to be ready to live on their own.
He's not on the spectrum.
He has some diagnosed learning disabilities, executive function issues, and a seizure disorder.
-
If you really think he'd be so upset as to blow the interview (I'm not trying to say that he'd do it on purpose, just taking as read what you said about the level of anxiety if you make him...I think that's your answer. Not ready is not ready, even if it's a great opportunity. I'm sorry.
The supermarket job being a good company and a good environment, just not high enough pay...is there a way to make it work, since he's happy and succeeding there. For instance, does he qualify for disability? Could he do anything to supplement his income? Does he belong to any class or therapy or other setting where he can learn to grow in some areas?
I agree with CaliforniaDreaming that you could maybe help him toward independence by amending your moving plan to letting him know that he may stay as long as he is working and follows house rules, and that you'll be charging rent and groceries (an amount that he can afford on his paycheck) beginning in June, instead. He can still grow up and pay his own way, if he's able to work, even if he's not able to get a high enough paying job to be totally self sufficient.
FWIW, I got a not-neurotypical kid to move out (when he could afford it) by telling him the date when I would start charging rent. He felt more motivated to live on his own terms if he had to pay his own way, which is what we wanted, and got over his anxiety about looking for a roommate. But he did want to move out and could manage financially, he just needed incentive. If your son doesn't want to move out, that may be one reason he doesn't want a better paying job. Maybe he is really not ready.
Have you considered a halfway house on your own property, if you need him to grow up and move on but he can't or won't, yet? My best working plan before ds moved out was an RV parked here. We nearly bought one! I found many available on Craigslist or eBay, used in good condition, that would be a fraction of apartment rent. This would have worked in our location but not in many locations...maybe you could think of something similar to suit your scenario. A finished garage or basement apartment, or tiny house.
Have you thoroughly researched efficiency apartments and section 8 apartments, as another path to explore? Could he rent s mobile home on what he makes? The poor people live somewhere. Again, I am in the Midwest where housing is cheap, so maybe this doesn't apply, either.
He doesn't qualify for disability. He's already paying some rent, and banking a portion of what is leftover. I haven't considered section 8; we may discuss this at a future point. I wish there was a way for him to live here-but-not-here, but we don't have room for an RV or have an in-law apt. He talks about rooming with his two friends but that just isn't going to happen for a myriad of reasons. I wish he had friends that would make this possible.
My DH, his step-father, insists that he move out as agreed. (DH moved out at 18 and never went back. I was kicked out at 20 for being pregnant with DS21. Everyone in our immediate families, with the exception of my brother, had moved out by 22.) He isn't trying to get rid of him, he just wants him to go be a full-fledged adult!
-
You said non-neurotypical. My Aspie would need a lot of lead time on this. I would sit down with him and compare the two jobs - financially, hours and job expectations. I would hope that he could see the benefit of the new position. I would address the realities of anxiety regarding interviewing and starting a new job stressing how he did ok landing the first job. But to expect him to get on board by tomorrow might be unrealistic.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
This is a very good point. I've been taking about it with him since Monday, but I think a longer lead time would have been better.
That said, if he doesn't go, this door is closed. He won't be getting another interview.
-
As far as your mother goes maybe you can tell her it sounds like an awesome plan and you hope she will talk to your DS about it herself, lol...
She has, but he's completely stopped responding to her messages/calls. The more we talk about it, the morning annoyed he gets. I would leave it alone for a while, but it's *tomorrow*!
-
If you are unable to actually make him move out (and I am a total softie here who would probably let my kids stay with me forever) then you could at least renegotiate in June for him to pay you rent so he can start getting an idea of what that will be like. You could always save that money he gives you and give it back to him for deposits/emergency money when he is ready to move out.
Not sure what kind of special needs you are dealing with here so I know that may alter the timeline for maturity and moving out, etc.. I don't think forcing him to change jobs will likely pan out well for everyone involved.
He's paying a small bit of rent now ($200/mo) plus all of his expenses (phone, car, car insurance, copays, etc).
I actually think that he'll enjoy the new job. He would get to work with his hands, he would have to interact with far fewer people, etc. But, I can't and won't force him.
His executive functioning ability is improving. I think he will be okay on his on/with roommates with some up-front scaffolding and occasional check-ins. He just needs the money...
-
2
-
-
(Please be kind - this is stressful enough.)
BACKGROUND: DS21 works at the local supermarket. It was hard work to get him to land a job (in HS). He is an introvert and non-neurotypical, which comes off as a touch goofy/odd to people who don't really know him. He likes his job (though he could do without all the people). He had previously been getting close to full-time hours, but was 'promoted' to another position which put him at the bottom of the department and screwed up his hours. He now works 35+ hours at the beginning of the month and 15-20hrs towards the end of the month. Also, his schedule is seemingly random. He has stated a preference for staying at this job for the rest of his life, and we would be totally okay with this plan IF he was getting full-time hours so that he could afford to move out on his own/with roommates/whatever. (People with this company do actually work there forever - I know a few. It's a great company to work for.)
The plan has been that he would be working towards moving out the spring/summer that he was 22 (when he would have graduated from college, had he gone). That would be next June. He has agreed to this. He understands that he needs to go be an adult, responsible for himself. He just isn't doing as much as he needs to in order to make this happen. He has done a lot (get his license, buy a car, etc), but he just doesn't seem to understand that he NEEDS MORE MONEY. He says that he knows this, but he doesn't do anything about it.
THE SITUATION: My mother works at a *very large* company that is hiring. They are offering full-time, regular schedule, full benefits, vacation, starting salary is more than he makes now, regular raises, yada yada yada. Essentially, he would double his yearly income immediately. There are hundreds of people applying to this company all the time. He had an interview there maybe 18 months ago, though he didn't get the job that time. My mother managed to get DS another interview, tomorrow, and she's been told that if he shows up he's pretty much assured to be hired.
He doesn't want to go. He doesn't want to interview and he doesn't want to change jobs. *sigh*
I understand his feelings about change (he gets that from me) and his aversion to interviews (he also gets that from me). The more we talk to him about this, the angrier he has been getting. I'm trying *gently* to point out all the good things that this could do for him. However, he's an adult and, ultimately, it's his decision. I don't know what else to do.
For what it is worth, I'm pretty sure if I say, "Get your ass in the car, you are going. Period." that he would go. He just would be so pissed that he wouldn't be hired. So... gah. Any words of wisdom for me and/or him?
Of course, if he doesn't go I will be back asking for help dealing with my mother... *double sigh*
-
I'm wearing them right now!
-
1
-
-
The Common Core State Standards in MA have two possible pathways:
Alg 1, Geo, Alg 2
or
Integrated math 1, 2, 3
(And then more advanced options for senior year/advanced students)
If your child is ready for algebra 1, they are ready for math 1 (which combines topics across math).
-
1
-
-
I posted first day homeschool pictures today... We went on a field trip and spent the day at the beach. Ha!
-
10
-
-
They often have a huge markdown section in the back of the store where you can find great deals on Le Creuset and Staub Dutch ovens. I got my LC there -it was a return due to a cosmetic defect, and was over 60%off!
-
5
-
-
Apricot is my favorite.
My kids prefer strawberry vanilla, blueberry lemon, raspberry cocoa, and cantaloupe vanilla (tastes like creamscicle!)
They need to go outside!!!
in The Chat Board
Posted
*sigh*
Now that they are outside, all they do is fight and SCREAM!
Why? Why? Why? Why can't then just play nicely? There is one patio chair that my husband sits in - they are literally beating each other up over it. There is one playhouse, they were screaming at each other because each one wants to sit on top of it (and it won't hold more than one and the 3yr old can't even climb up yet). God forbid they play *together* inside of it! We set up an area of mulch/stones/pieces of wood were they could play/dig/construct/whatever... they won't touch it.
Why is this so hard????? This is ridiculous. :cursing: