DesertBlossom
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Posts posted by DesertBlossom
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I made this for Thanksgiving and for Christmas Eve dinner (and maybe once in between) and never tire of it.
https://www.melskitchencafe.com/cranberry-jalapeno-cream-cheese-dip-sugar-rush-reinvented-7/
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I have grand plans to make an excel spreadsheet with all my favorite recipes with a column for ingredients. Because when I menu plan for the week I tend to forget all things I can and do make. In a spreadsheet form I can look at the title, write down the ingredients I need and do my shopping. Then I want to have a 3 ring binder for the actual recipes.
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Well now I need a reason to buy this.
I bought Code Names for Christmas and we played last night and loved it. Quick and easy and we played a bunch of different rounds switching up the teams each time.
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My grandmother was 49 when she had her last baby. She had 3 babies in her 40s. She also had her first baby when she was 17 and the whole thing still blows my mind. I just had my last a few weeks shy of my 39th birthday and it was such a rough, exhausting pregnancy. I can't even imagine being pregnant in 10 years. Huge shoutout to all you moms having babies in your 40s! You are all strong women!
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Each of our kids has a family name that we put a lot of love and thought into so it would be hard for me, but I suppose I could get over it. One of my boys has a name that is sometimes used for girls. Not as often as I hear it for boys though. But it really bothers him when he hears it used for a girl. If any of my kids change their names, it would probably be him.
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9 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:
If he made no move to stop, lunge, cower, change directions, etc and just did a low throat "grumble" from being startled (and you being startled) but kept his calm otherwise, I'd not stress over it.
if he seemed more intense than that I might give a slight pop of the collar and say "no" firmly. I'd walk a bit further, make sure he was behaving normally, then walk back again and see if he was okay walking by them this time. i'd probably walk back and forth like and idiot a few times to be sure, and at least one of those times give him a little treat for being nice about it.
Yes, it was exactly that so I won't stress over it. The walking back and forth is a great idea if it happens again though. See, those are tips and tricks I would never think of on my own. 😊
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9 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:
growling while out for a walk shouldn't be tolerated. it could be he is nervous - and that has to be dealt with because nervous dogs are more likely to bite unprovoked. training walks should be entirely focused on one dog - not one person with two dogs.
Thank you. And I have never attempted to take both dogs at once. I know my limits. 😊 So it's only just been me with the GR, rewarding him for good leash behavior throughout the walk. He doesn't seem like a nervous dog in general. He is fine with new people that come over. I wondered if it was because it was dark? When you say "should not be tolerated" what does that look like? It was a short, low growl and he was happy to just keep walking past them.
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Long story short, a couple months ago we got a (then) 7 month old male Golden Retriever mix and an 8 week old female Australian Shepherd. It's been a little crazy, but on the plus side they play and run and chase each other all day and wear each other out. We're working on training but there are a few things I am not sure how to handle.
#1 - We have 2 dog food bowls but neither dog is inclined to snarf their food down all in one gulp so food is available in the bowl all day long. They don't fight over kibble and when we're training they don't get jealous of the little treats the other dog is getting. I don't feel like either has any food agression issues. I can take the bowl away or pet them while eating and they are fine. I can tell the GR to "leave it" when it's a training treat intended for the AS and he is fine. But with any "high value treats" like bully sticks, the GR will take his, growl at the AS and then take hers away. I can tell the AS is jumpy now if she has something she thinks he will take. How concerning is this and what can I do, besides separating them when I give out a HVT?
#2 - We have chickens in a coop with a large run and while I don't have any hope that I will ever be able to trust the dogs unsupervised around chickens I would like them to at least ignore them. We have a big yard and it was about a month before the GR even paid them much attention. But then a couple kept flying out and into the yard, and the GR had a hey day plucking their feathers. Wings are clipped and they are no longer getting out, but now he loves to stalk the hens from outside the fence and then startle them into a frenzy. I don't want this to escalate into him trying to jump the fence or dig under it. What's the best way to get him to just ignore the birds, if at all possible?
#3 - I have been on a few walks with the GR and he is doing better on the leash with one of those training collars. Twice now, during a night time walk the GR growled at people we walked past. The first time we were walking across an almost empty parking lot, came around a car and there were 2 people outside of the car making out. (Who looked entirely too old to need a parking lot for making out, but to each their own) He growled at them, but they startled me too so I didn't think much of it. Then a week or so later he growled at some people out in front of their house as we walked past. He doesn't growl at everybody we pass, but I am not sure how worried I should be about the behavior.
I already love both these dogs a lot and all I know about training comes from these boards and Zak George videos, so be gentle.
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7 hours ago, Patty Joanna said:
This is a beautiful family effort and I am so happy you are all working together on this. I did want to mention that sometimes it happens that frequent changes make it more difficult for the person with dementia to find and keep a point of stability. We saw inflection points (to the bad) with every move that happened... If your dad is dealing with it, that's good. I just mention it so you can be aware of the potential concern.
I think this diagnosis may make us rethink our plans. There are 4 of us who have room for him. Sibling #3 will have him starting this weekend. It is my turn after that, so in 2 or 3 months. When we remodeled our home we made the bathroom handicap accessible with the idea he might live with us someday. I am thinking his stay with me might end up permanent, for a variety of reasons.
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3 hours ago, maize said:
December for us, we have pictures throwing snowballs at each other.
We had family coming from far away, siblings with school and college schedules to work around etc. It was either Christmas break or wait until the next summer. We opted for December and chose the specific date based on when people could come.
Same for us. We got married during the semester break so we could travel back to my home state. I think the day we got married was just about the only day that worked for us too. Dh's family also came from out of town. No snow in the desert for us though.
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13 minutes ago, Seasider too said:
Please do not judge your dad’s character based on anything you see now. He is reverting to primal instincts, and behaviors will become driven by basic human needs - food, comfort, attention/companionship and yes, sex drive. It’s not his “real self,” not his hidden adult character. What you described, exposing himself and thinking it funny, is something a lot of 4 year olds do. Your father will cognitively revert, but still live in an adult body. It’s weird and it’s normal, all at the same time. It’s important for you to keep in mind that he can not control this behavior. Just handle him with the same love and care you’d show a little kid.
[eta it is amazing how a dementia patient can mask behaviors when tested, and a spouse often does a lot to cover for the one with dementia, so it is not uncommon for demented behavior to appear sudden once the non-dementia spouse passes]
Yes I know, much easier said than done. I hope you have a lot of help there and are able to take turns so no one burns out.
Business-wise, this is the time to make sure the right names are on his HIPAA forms with his doctors, and that there are appropriate PsOA in place. It would be good to also check with his insurance provider to determine what coverages are there in terms of in-home assistance as that becomes necessary. Also ask the doctor's office and insurance company about nurse navigators and/or social worker assistance as you might need counsel as things progress.
Please do get a copy of that book (36 Hour Day). I often hand out copies IRL, it’s that helpful.
Thank you for this. I have a bunch of siblings and all of us are working together to make things work. He was hospitalized a few months ago and from there went to live with one sibling. We are taking turns having him live with us for several months at a time, but everyone is still helping all the time and we have kind of naturally divied up responsibilities. One takes him to appointments, one manages his finances, etc. But we work together well. We have also had an in-home nurse coming to help. For the most part we agree on his care and we all get along great, so I am grateful for that.
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It depends on much I trust that your kitchen is clean and whether or not you have a good grasp on hygiene and cleanliness. 😄 For most people I know, that's a yes.
I have been thinking about making small pumpkin loaves for neighbors so here's to hoping those get eaten too....
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54 minutes ago, Annie G said:
My father is struggling w dementia and has recently experienced a pretty big issue w/behavior. One night he put on his robe while my sister fixed his dinner. He sat in his chair and opened the robe and was naked. My sister freaked out and told him to cover up and he did, but he was laughing and smirking. This came out of nowhere. He’s always been very prim and proper and introverted. It’s not the only recent behavior issue, but it’s the only one like it.
So starting not long after my mom died, my dad starting flirting with nurses in a way that was definitely cringe-worthy. He isn't crude, but he flirts in a "wrong time, wrong place and she's 3 decades too young for you" kind of way. Still definitely inappropriate. And gross. The behavior has been startling to say the least. I have hoped it was related to old age or dementia and not my dad's true self coming out now that my mom was gone.
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Our library seems to make more and more space for computers and teen spaces and I wonder where all the books are going.....
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I feel like his symptoms right now are more the paranoia and not being able to focus on things. But apparently he told the neurologist this week it was 1979, which surprised me.
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8 minutes ago, Patty Joanna said:
The misplacement of time is so odd! We found that looking at old photo albums (MIL and FIL together) was quite calming, and something they could do together.
It's also funny in that what people remember differs for the individual. FIL had lost all sense of how to drive in his neighborhood, but he gave directions to my DH to travel a road he had traveled only once before, and that 20 years ago. He was a pilot and loved maps. My mom has normal old-age forgetfulness (and maybe a tad of dementia) and forgets to turn off the stove and that sort of thing, but she knows exactly what interest she is earning in her investments, and to the penny how much she has in the bank. She's always managed the books for her family...but she never really cared that much about cooking...
It's so unpredictable.
He doesn't actually think he's 20-something. But he did think he could get remarried and have more kids.... at 75 years old and barely able to take care of himself. It was kind of bizarre.
The conversation came up because he was trying (again) to get me to give him this women's number. I told him she had made it clear she wasn't interested. He said if he had given up that easily he never would have won over my mom. I tried to point out that the circumstances between then and now are just a smidge different and he was all aghast, like of course he is a fantastic catch and could win over any woman. I love my dad but he needs a caretaker, not a wife.
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1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said:
DesertBlossom, the paranoia behavior is in some regards easier to handle than when all of the inhibitions go. Heads up....language/sexuality/risk-taking may all be on the table. This isn't widely discussed because we want to protect the privacy of our dear loved ones, but if someone hasn't mentioned it to you before, I want to make sure you knew.
Dare I ask you to elaborate on this?
We can joke about it among my siblings but one bizarre behavior has been my dad's obsession with a couple different women who made it clear they want nothing to do with him. Despite no contact with them in a couple years he regularly brings it up and wants their phone numbers. (I won't give them to him) We were all kind of aghast when he mentioned maybe getting married again and having more kids... thankfully (??) his physical limitations keep him from running out and finding a young bride. Physically, my dad can barely make it to the bathroom and back. But in his mind he is stilll the handsome young 20-something who won over my mother. 😄
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21 minutes ago, Ottakee said:
I am not familiar with this particular form, but I do know that in some cases But B shots can help as can some antipsychotic medications. You need someone experienced in elder care though as meds can react differently in the elderly than they do in younger people.
Do you mean Vit B? Interestingly when he was hospitalized a few months ago they said his Vit B levels were critically low. He isn't on shots but he is taking a supplement now. I can't say I have noticed it helps with anything though.
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54 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:
You are in the hardest part, imo. As the dementia worsens things will get easier... They will not realize that they are not tethered to reality. This in between place is hard.
Even before an official diagnosis, I have felt this. Telling him he can't drive or can't live alone or can't call and harass the lady down the street (for reals) is hard when he is still mostly lucid. He gets frustrated because I don't drop everything I am doing to look for a pan he is certain somebody stole, when he's not doing any cooking anymore and I know no one stole it. He moved in with a sibling about 6 months and he still doesn't think he needs that. He was back at his house recently (he likes to go over there to make sure we aren't selling it out from under him) and he refused to go back to my sister's house. It took them a couple hours to convince him to leave.
It feels harder because he is still mostly the dad that I remember, but not enough so to be making most of his own decisions.
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Thank you. It is hard. It's also hard when he accuses us of treating him like a child when we don't give him his way. But there are some things he insists on that we just can't do. And it's hard.
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We have been noticing some bizarre, paranoid behaviors in my dad for at least a year. A neurologist suspects Lewy Body disease. My dad was present when this was being discussed with the doctor but didn't have much to say about it.
Going forward, how does one best talk through some of the behaviors? Or is it even worth talking through? For example, he is insistent one sibling is stealing money from him and even when evidence is provided that shows otherwise, he always goes back to it. Always. He regularly wants to check his account balance now. Is it even remotely helpful to remind him that those paranoid feelings are a symptom of a disease? Is redirecting even possible?
Understanding that his behaviors are a symptom of the disease and not just him does help one have patience with it. But it's still hard. And I know he is frustrated too.
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24 minutes ago, StellaM said:
Now I understand the gin ad, I have way more problems with it than the bike ad.
How gross to use abuse as a punchline to a joke in order to sell alcohol (you know, that substance implicated in abuse).
Disgusting.
But you know, I'm glad people find it so amusing.
Now the husband is an abusive alcoholic? Or am I misunderstanding you?
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2 minutes ago, Corraleno said:
What "involvement"? The guy in the commercial does not seem to have done anything other than write a check for $2,000, yet the commercial ends with the woman who did all the work thanking the guy who wrote a check for changing her life. Presumably if he was actually involved, she wouldn't have had to video herself everyday and surprise him a year later with a vlog of everything he missed!
It would be different if the commercial showed him there supporting her all year and congratulating her at the end for all her hard work and reaching her goals, but instead it's all about her gratitude to him for paying a ridiculous amount of money for a bike. And I think that was exactly the message it was designed to send — if you buy someone a Peloton, they will be incredibly, grovelingly grateful and you can take credit for their success! Where they went wrong was not understanding that the cynicism and sexism in the ad would be far more apparent than they intended.
It's a commercial, not a full length movie. People are assuming things that just can't be assumed from a 30 second commercial.
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5 hours ago, Farrar said:
Like, look at this woman. Is this a normal, I'm happy look?!?
For me this looks like "I feel stupid videotaping myself and I have overly expressive eyebrows but I kinda want to document my journey anyway."
What's for dinner?
in The Chat Board
Posted
Tonight I made Pioneer Woman's Shrimp Quesadillas, Pico de Gallo, cilantro lime rice and a creamy cilantro lime dressing. Currently nursing the baby while the others clean the massive mess I made in the kitchen. 😄