DesertBlossom
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Posts posted by DesertBlossom
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2 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:
If you want to take it up in another thread I'll be happy to discuss if you come bringing proof and peer reviewed papers that back you up.
If the CDC wants to encourage grown men to get circumcised for all the reasons you stated in your previous post, fine. But we're talking about infants who can not consent. And we're talking about an elective procedure with real risks that has long-term consequences for one's sexual relationships. We don't do that on people who can't consent.
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25 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:
The reason I am assuming it is being pushed by doctors it the public health benefits are significant when it comes to increased numbers of circumcised men in a population. It lowers the risk of penile cancer, as well as the spread of HIV and can affect the spread of other STIs as well. I'm not weighing in on OP's questions or the whole mutilation thing, but just saw your post and wanted to chime in on "why" it's still being promoted in the US in many instances. It's one of the easier ways to drop a lot of risk factors across several categories.
But when you weigh that against what is lost when a healthy, functioning foreskin is removed, it's not clear that the benefits outweigh the risks. In a day when consent is the new buzzword, it surprises me that anyone would be advocating for altering the healthy genitals of infants who are unable to give informed consent for a procedure that will have lifelong effects on their health and sexual relationships.
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13 hours ago, Slache said:
Almost 20 percent of males are not circumsized these days. I hope this is not a common problem!
It's been a while since I looked at the statistics, but I have heard that the numbers for intact babies are much higher. I am sure it depends on the state and whether or not Medicaid covers it. This 2014 article says that only 15 percent of boys in Washington are being circumcised. Towards the end of the article it says the national circumcision rate is 58%.
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When I asked our (former) pediatrician not to attempt to retract the foreskin of my 4 year old, she told me "I had a 10 year old patient who had to be circumcised because his foreskin didn't retract." The ignorance of some doctors on normal penile development is disheartening.
We never went back to her.
I second the advice to find a doctor who does not have a bias towards circumcision as the cure all for any penile ailment.
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I am tempted to jump on this bandwagon even thoughI wanted to lose baby weight before buying clothes. I should probably have acceptable clothing now though.
The size chart link is for different styles of jeans. And I don't know what size I am. Most of my extra weight I carry in my stomach, which also makes sizing weird for me.
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30 minutes ago, Momto6inIN said:
We live in the Midwest, but I think it's probably more of a family dynamics thing than a regional thing.
I have been thinking about this.... it is true that I don't feel particularly close to my ILs and that probably factors in to it.
But I also know my SILs and BILs adored my mother and had fantastic relationships with her and of the 7 of them, only one called her mom. It was the BIL who started dating my sister when they were teens and he was calling my parents mom and dad even way back then. 😄 So I don't think it's always a matter of how well people get along or like each other either.
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The skinny jeans don't bother me at all. One of DD's friends told her she needed to wear "booty shorts" and now DD is all concerned that her shorts are too long. THAT bothers me.
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Lots of ideas at Mel's Kitchen Cafe under "30 minute meals." She never disappoints.
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12 minutes ago, katilac said:
Practice. For real, say the words out loud over and over by yourself before talking to them. If you're a natural cryer, put that to good use and burst into tears the next time she does it, it would make a great segue, lol.
Or, if text/email is a typical way for y'all to communicate, I think it's reasonable to put it in writing. If you make it clear you don't expect an immediate response, or maybe a response at all, it has the benefit of giving them time to react and process as well.
Sometimes a crier. But if I am at all emotional, even a little bit, my ability to speak coherent sentences declines dramatically.
I could do the text message thing. I will have to wait for the right time. But I think it's doable.
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1 minute ago, Pam in CT said:
This is what my father-in-law does (and mother-in-law did when she was alive). My FIL has subsequently remarried, and his wife goes by Firstname with us all.
My husband was the first among his siblings to get married, and they *asked* me. Both of them referred to their own respective MILs as "Mom" at the time, but despite a tiny twinge of guilt at disrupting the pattern they had set for themselves, I felt as the OP feels, I already have a mother, that name is sacred to me. So I chose Firstnames and that set the pattern for my husband's siblings' spouses; now everyone in our generation uses Firstnames.
But. If your in-laws didn't ask you in the beginning, and the pattern now is set... it might be disruptive or hurtful to make a Big Deal about wanting to change and why. How do you imagine it would play if you just, simply, starting addressing them as Firstname and Firstname? Are there other inlaws who call them Firstname?
I never have called them mom and dad. I am probably most inclined to call them nothing at all (see StellaM's reply--that's totally me), but in recent years I have tried to make a point to call them by their first names in an effort to subtly point out that their use of mom and dad is not a mutual feeling. I have 1 SIL who I have heard call MIL "mom" but that's it.
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23 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:
I do think it would be a problem changing it after you've called them Mom and Dad.
I personally have never called them mom or dad. Only by their first names. I did notice one sister in law call my MIL mom, but I do know if she always does that. We haven't seen them much due to distance.
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3 minutes ago, katilac said:
I think it's part of your grieving process, and you will get over it in time. Because it's mostly in writing and they have never asked you to call them mom and dad, I would work hard to let it go. After fifteen years, yeah, it's weird, and it's going to be a thing even if they are completely gracious about it. Because it's going to be impossible for them to not feel awkward.
If you absolutely cannot be at peace with it, can you frame it as part of your grieving process? "Since mom died, it hurts my heart to hear "it's mom" when I call on the phone. I didn't say anything because I thought it would get better, but it hasn't, and it doesn't have anything to do with the way I feel about you (because you've never felt like she was a mother figure, that hasn't changed)."
I really like the way you phrased that. And I think you've hit the nail on the head describing my feelings. I wonder if I could get that out of my mouth as eloquently to them. Probably not. 😄
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In an attempt to own my feelings, or at least make sense of them, I will say that this didn't bother me so much until after my own mother died.....
My in laws refer to themselves as mom and dad when communicating with me. They end text messages with Love mom or dad. They sign cards to me with mom or dad. If there is a phone call MIL answers with "this is mama Lastname." (Once when I called and the caller ID didn't give me away and she answered with "this is Firstname" so it's not like she always answers that way. )
It bothers me. I have a mom and a dad. And they aren't them. We get along well enough but I don't feel particularly close to them. Certainly not enough to want to call them mom or dad. Granted, they haven't asked me to call them mom or dad. And I never, ever do. But it feels a bit presumptuous for them to give themselves those titles for me.
I have started responding on the phone very emphatically with "oh hi firstname." (rather than just hello) I think that surprised MIL a bit and for a while she quit, but she is back to "mama Lastname." They are from the midwest, if that matters and this is a cultural thing. If it's a cultural thing maybe I need to just get over myself.
I suck at speaking up in situations like this, and we have also been married for over 15 years so it feels weird to suddenly make an issue of it. But like I said, I think this has really only started grating on my nerves since my mom died 5 years ago.
Is this normal and am I just overreacting? Or is this worth addressing for my own sanity? (If so, how?) Or should I just make myself get over it somehow? (And if so, how?)
This doesn't keep me awake at night or anything. And my communication with them in general has decreased over the years. They mostly call DH's cell. But it bothers me nonetheless.
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"Someone else's bad behavior does not justify your own." When a kid tries to tell me why they were doing something they shouldn't have been doing. Like just because everyone else is speeding down the highway doesn't mean I can or that a police officer won't pull me over and write me a ticket.
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I have yet to tire of this arrangement of Amazing Grace.
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11 hours ago, PeterPan said:
I don't know. I started chiro 20 years ago when pregnant with dd because it was the "thing" in my dh's family. Continued chiro care through 2nd pregnancy, where back went tight, continued care (that made no difference on that tight back) and when I FINALLY tried to get care, went through another chiro and just about concluded the whole profession are under-qualified idiots. I'm not sure what they actually know anymore. I'm just venting. But MAN they're idiots and arrogant. They're either like oh yeah do x-rays, I'll fix you up, or they're like oh no we don't need imaging and we can still fix you up.
So I'm jaded. And like you, I get the occasional just crack my neck and the headaches stop kind of thing. So I don't know what I'm going to do. They're more like one trick ponies, not really doing anything but the cracking well, and sounds like you're running into people not even doing that.
What school did those chiros go to? Is that a commonality? I definitely found with massage therapists it varied. They were being taught to sit, not to work hard, how to last giving tons of massages a day, blah blah. So it could be the school they went to.
Is there something about you that seems injured or like they needed to be careful? That $25 was crazy low anyway. Who is the chiro who retired sending people to? I'm surprised he didn't take in someone and sell his practice? Of course with prices that low, he couldn't, lol.
And the dorkball who told me my back was about to break (yes, for real) also would adjust my lower back each time and never my neck. Jerk. So yeah, I don't know what they're teaching them in these schools. I was thinking next time I'm at the PT (where I finally landed to solve my back problems, it's going VERY WELL) I'd ask him if he has a name.
If these had been recent experiences had been my first encounters with chiropractors I'd not likely ever try another chiro. However, about 16 years ago I was in a car accidents that started causing pain in the back of my head/neck. After seeing several doctors and taking muscle relaxers (including an injection straight into the back of my head) and doing physical therapy, a friend referred me to her chiro. He did the workup and adjusted me the first day and I SOBBED the whole way home because for the first time in months it started to feel better. I saw him regularly for several months until I was healed. I saw him again a few years later when I put my back out while pregnant with #3. He was amazing. We moved to another state though.
I have had had back problems off and on over the years. My biggest complaints right now are my neck and shoulders and I know it's because of the way I cosleep next to my baby. I wake up still with a kink in my neck.
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My chiropractor just retired and I am so sad. I only went to him occasionally when I having neck, shoulder or back pain. His attendants would do some massage or electro therapy something or other before he came in and did adjustments. The kind of adjustments where you hear all the pops up your back and neck. It was amazing and always improved the pain I was having. And he charged a whopping $25 per visit. I only went in when needed and never felt any pressure to come back in regularly until the end of forever. My chiropractor before him was in another state, but he healed some serious head and neck pain that I was having after a car accident. He was also more "traditional" with his adjustments.
In the last couple months I have had (limited) experience with 3 different chiropractors, but they all are doing much more gentle procedures. Literally like tapping their one hand as they hold it against your neck and shoulders. I can't really describe it. But the visits I had were not noticeably helpful. The first 2 chiropractors I saw did adjustments on me and I did not feel a difference. Today I took DS in to a 3rd chiro who is the husband of a friend. I was hoping to make him our "regular" chiropractor. Not only is the initial visit quite expensive (and that was with the friends and family discount) he is another one who is doing these gentle adjustments with a "regular maintenance for the rest of your life" philosophies.
I am trying not to feel jaded by this. Has anyone had this work? I would really like to find a good chiropractor for me. I can tell my head, neck and shoulders are all out of whack. But what I really want is a good crack! 😂
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His statement feels a little awkward to me, but I think we would all be better off if we we first give others the benefit of the doubt and assume the best about their intentions.
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5 hours ago, history-fan said:
Taking care of parents is hard.
And no one is even the least bit prepared for it.
My dad doesn't have symptoms of dementia except for some weird obsessive and compulsive thoughts. For example, he is determined that my oldest brother is stealing money and changing his computer passwords, and also refusing to help him or stop by and visit. (And my brother is so good to him despite being the one my dad blames for everything.) And the rest of us can't convince my dad otherwise. His fixation on that and other things is so bizarre. I try to just redirect and move on.
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When my widower gggrandfather got remarried his new wife sold all his 1st wife's things and family stuff at a garage sale. Family members found out when someone informed them family picture albums and other sentimental items were for sale. They recovered some things, but not much.
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And this is another reason you don't sleep with people you barely know.
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I just picked up the original rx from the pharmacy. It does say 1000mcg. Is that enough then? If it makes a difference, he is 300lbs and in his mid 70s. The prescribing dr was the dr in the hospital. I don't know how soon we could get him into his regular doctor.
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I will call the pharmacy and see if I can get a copy of the original rx and call the acute care center to see if they are giving him anything. We are hoping to get him home in the next couple days.
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The note on the bag says b12 1000mg. It doesn't say how often. Super helpful. 😐
Where can I buy injectable b12?
When is circumcision in an older boy/teen necessary?
in The Chat Board
Posted
In the absence of any kind of urgent, medical need for circumcision, it can be safely postponed. So why not wait and let the child make an informed decision for himself?