I like your answer. I'm just afraid he'll say that is enough reason to remove my dad from the list. Since he has that power. Ugh. I sent an email to my attorney today to ask if he had started drafting the settlement. I mentioned concerns about the p/u list and emergency contact list and requirements of me for what I must tell xh. I asked about getting 3 weekends a month (because let's face it, extra summer time isn't gonna cut it... I'll be working. Dd will need to go to camp or something). And some other things. I know we need to hammer this out soon as the court date on file is end of March.

I realized I mentioned dad picking dd up and then jumped to check outs, so I was unclear. But on average, my dad would probably only be involved to pick her up at the end of the school day rather than early.

I'm actually not mostly referring to check outs. I'm referring to the car line. He is allowed to get in the car line on my behalf. Why should I have to tell xh that? My dad would do it if say, I was stuck in traffic or couldn't leave town early enough to be there on my day. He wouldn't have to go inside to sign her out if he was picking her up in that type of scenario. But I feel like xh is asking that anytime it's not me in the car line, he be notified details. I cannot imagine any time in which my dad would be called as an emergency person on a day that isn't mine. Xh would sooner die than call my family lol. He would call his wife, dad, sister, brother-in-law, pretty much ANYONE.

Had a good weekend with dd and had her yesterday after school, too. My friend's daughter had a birthday celebration. We met several of her family members, played at the children's museum, went to a pizza place with them, then hung out at my friend's house that evening (her daughter, my daughter, and a cousin all close in age). Yesterday I picked up dd and her friend (from after school place) and let the girls play together at my dad's home. I tried to add my dad to the school pick up list and emergency contact list. The school said only dad can do that. So I had to ask dad and he said he would add my dad, but that anytime my dad picked up dd he would need to be informed of why/where they were going (ugh). Is it just me or does that sound controlling? I don't keep tabs on where dd goes every day she's on his watch. I would have no idea if my ex SIL checked dd out of school. And I wouldn't really stress about it, either. What is the worst I could do? Have my dad check dd out early so we can play hooky? I literally couldn't take her to some secret dr visit or out of state lines so what's he worried about? lol.

Dd is not really a chocolate person. Gave her a belated Valentine’s day gift (baby Yoda themed with gummy frogs). She loved it.

I made the drive Thursday morning. Picked dd up from school. We have a pizza ritual lately lol got pizza after school. Asked her if she knew what plans were canceled. At first she wasn’t sure and I said I assumed it was a child’s birthday party or something. Then she said yes, a classmate’s party got canceled (this whole thing is so stupid! Obviously I could have taken her to the party or dropped her off with dad or whatever rather than it affecting making/breaking a weekend visit). My gf’s daughter is in town so I messaged her to see if they want to get together. Coincidentally they’re having an informal birthday celebration and said we’re welcome to meet them at the children’s museum. I don’t believe dd has ever been to this particular Museum. We had membership to the other one. I plan to stay here the full week til after the networking event. My neighbor is aware and checking on the cat. I am feeling much better.

I don’t know what plans they had but apparently they received a cancellation text around 6:30 tonight so now I can have the weekend if I want but they still need certain other weekends so we need to come up with a plan on the others. I think I’ll drive tomorrow and utilize this weekend, let him have next weekend and I get a makeup one because juggling dd and the networking event is gonna be too stressful. I haven’t figured out when to get on the road etc.

Monday’s X-ray was normal. Just inflammation they think. We tried the app route but it didn’t have a texting section. Just places to list events, ask for movey, upload receipts. We almost never talk on the phone. It’s all written.

Yes. This ^ And when my kids are older I don’t want the power struggles. I’ll probably just be the parent that says let me know if you’re coming for Christmas. With no expectations or pressure. I just want to be the soft place to land if or when they are ready.

My attorney just cashed his check so I suspect he hasn’t actually started the settlement lol I’m going to touch base with him again.

For me the point was to get away. And make room for other relationships. But the control dynamic lingers.

No worries! I’m just starting to feel human again lol

Oh I mean because we’ll likely settle outside of court with the paperwork outlining modifications. Supposedly they don’t really want to go to court. And as we’ve discussed in this thread, any justice is unlikely to prevail. I’d probably come out worse.

Before she officially moved to MS. He asked me to watch the kids Labor Day weekend so then I signed up for these volunteer things the following weekend and then he reneged and said he’d take the kids with him LD weekend and that’s when he slept at her house and introduced her as his gf. So I had 2-3 commitments based on my supposed availability and we moved one of my visits to another weekend. I do think he’s being extra difficult these days with the whole settlement up in the air. Our court date on file is end of March but I don’t think we’ll go. My attorney is supposed to be working on the settlement but I may need to go meet with him soon so we can easier discuss.

He has swapped in the past without it being a big deal. That’s why I thought it would go smoother. I had to swap a weekend I was at a car seat check event many months ago.

I feel like he’s doing this as a control tactic. He avoided all my previous requests to trade our rotation prior to my illness. I also suggested swapping another weekend instead and he said that was stepson’s birthday (no idea).

Xh refused to swap weekends. I figured that the Mon-Wed connected to last weekend so really only days I could claim are Thurs afternoon-Sunday. I planned to drive down Wed night and pick her up after school Thursday, but xh said they had "plans" and would not be willing to give me the weekend. So right now the weekends of the girls (my friend's daughter and mine) won't line up and I guess I won't see dd til March 2. I have that networking even on March 4 and my dad will have to tuck dd in so I can go. I was hoping to avoid that, too. But it is what it is.

I returned to the dr. They did an X-ray. It was normal so they said probably inflammation from lung I’m feeling (pointed out the sore area along back/side) and said take ibuprofen. Didn’t really say anything when I asked about thinning mucus. They said 30 min walk OK. Add heat to lower back (I threw out lower back coughing yesterday then it was fine then it hurt again). Still some pain in chest but I guess will resolve. They are aware. I could have dd right now through Sunday so just playing it by ear when I’ll make car trip. Just a bit uncomfortable. Haven’t taken codeine since this morning. I don’t feel like I need it now unless I have trouble sleeping tonight.

Well I have not taken it every 4 hrs but that’s what the bottle says to do. I let it lapse and I didn’t cough too much last time but also wasn’t able to get much out. And when I have the heavy coughing I am very uncomfortable and it triggers my incontinence. I can ask the dr if they want me to add meds… I don’t want to just start taking OTC stuff without consulting.

I have a new pain on my left side. Been icing off/on. Told the nurse. They said just check in after the antibiotics are done. Loosely planning on driving to my dad’s house on Wed night. Not sure about sitting in the car though. Hurts to move around right now. I canceled my annual wellness visit that was Wed. Definitely not in the mood to give blood etc.

No I don’t cough at all (more or less) when I’m on the codeine. I’m not sure what they want me to do. It says take every 4 hours. If I lapse then it’s pretty bad, though. The antibiotic is called Cefuroxime. Giant blue pills. I think it’s working but I started it just before the codeine was prescribed. I am not sure how to gauge.

Any guesses as to when I should be good to travel to dd? I’m on day 4 of antibiotics. Chest pain is different. New pain on side of body I’ve been icing off/on. There’s still some lingering chest pain if I breathe deeply. When meds wear off I have terrible thick cough so mostly been on schedule with cough syrup. Drinking water.

Ok

I don’t disagree with any of this post. I was just saying NOT liking going to the dentist shouldn’t affect someone’s “approval” for kissing lol I don’t wear contacts. I go to the eye dr, avoid the office that uses the measurement tool that touches my eyeball, and wear glasses.

I think some of the analogies are reaching. I hate things touching my eyes. Some people hate going to the dentist. Neither have anything to do with intimacy. My first ob/gyn visit was a bit traumatic. My mom wouldn’t let me go earlier when I inquired because I wasn’t sexually active. Then shortly after becoming sexually active I got pregnant and my first appt was to confirm the pregnancy and get an internal ultrasound uggghhh. Yeah that wand.