The only reason I’d let it go is because I don’t like jerking the kids around but I’m curious, too.

That makes sense. Just applied to a job closer to where I currently live. Much better pay than the one by the kids.

Thank you. That might be the first time in this thread where someone said it’s ok to sacrifice a weekday (even if it’s not totally replaced with some other visit). Weekday visits amount to a little time together, dinner and bedtime. It’s not the equivalent of a full Saturday or such.

See the issue with increased summer is it doesn’t actually translate to something useful if I’m working most hours and/or coughing up summer camp/child care/burdening ds to watch his sister.

I guess I’m worried that not moving is the same as saying no weekday visits and then that mom guilt will hit hard. I can drive to see dd this week after school but only because I have flex hours. I need to make more and most jobs will keep me tied to a desk 8-5.

I want to pull my hair out, I don't know what I should be doing. Applying to jobs here or there. I don't know if we can stop him from moving again. And I don't know if I can get travel expenses. What if I ask for travel costs and then end up moving there? So then my modification request makes no sense. I don't even know what to ask for or do.

how annoying

Maybe this is all happening so I can write a book lol I only saw one relevant job (the one I applied to) in that area so far ugh.

I wonder if my xh's attorney thinks he's a nutter by now. Some of the things said Lol.

That lawyer said if he was going to represent me, he could waive the delivery. But then he didn't respond when I asked what he'd do for my case. Yes, it appears I will just stick with him. I don't know if we want to waive delivery or not... I can see pros and cons to both ways of handling it.

I feel like I'll never catch up on the thread! But I am popping in to say I'm 10 pounds to goal weight. I had to return a dress 2x because it ran too big on me (and this was in junior's sizing). Maybe a glitch LOL. But I fit in the size medium apparently which is getting shipped to me. I was able to find the dress in another print in the store and tried it on this weekend. A couple days ago I did HIIT and I've done a few walks. Today my plan is to do my FINAL HIIT!! Well from the 12-week DVD program I own. After that, I can restart the DVDs or find other things to do. My fabric bands arrived but I haven't made the time to use them yet. My mind has been all over the place (personal baggage). Hoping to go swimming soon, just a matter of making time ugh. According to MyFitnessPal and my last log in (which might be off by like a half pound) I've lost 49 pounds since June.

There's a possibility that xh didn't convey to his attorney's office that I drove down to the coast recently so they may have tried to serve me when I was on the coast. I have no idea if they have attempted to come to me yet.

He already fully admits we have to modify it. So that's why I think my lawyer is waiting. It's inevitable. It's not a question of if we modify, but when.

Just emailed the secretary again.

A few pages back? I said I wasn't sure what I could disclose. Because it hasn't formally happened. Anything they reference was probably from something I told them in a PM. Basically, I'm waiting on someone to knock on my door any day now. Xh thinks I'm in contempt.

Since the papers have dates and stamps I think they are in the system even if no one knocks on my door. But I don't know??? They might have tried to serve me when I was at my bf's house lol I have no idea!!

I think he is waiting to react to me being served??? I’ll reach out again.

I will PM you what he thinks he can serve me about.

She has a total of 3 children. Child near dd's age, 2 yr old, 15 month old. Also has a cat and two dogs. It's pretty packed there. Her youngest has a different father so is with her every weekend. I'm filling out a job application right now (something I look qualified for in my field that isn't too far from the kids). Pay is not disclosed. Going to speak to my dad when he gets home and discuss coming over Wed night. I will beg my landlords out of lease if I have to. They are very understanding. Wherever I move, I need to bring my cat. I just think I'd be better off moving to my own place (after looking at pet fee options).

I followed up with his secretary last week and she said she would tell him to call me but that he was swamped. Now it's been more days. They do this crap. Repeatedly. They all seem to be this way. Unless I have formally been served, they see no sense of urgency. I might delete this post but yes I'm waiting on that formality. How can he serve me? Balls of steel or disillusions. And at this point there isn't a rock solid request of what lawyer needs to DO this second. Just what I want him to handle (ie representing my modifications and/or me if we go to court).

My cat was visibly sad/upset imo last time I left town. I was gone I think Wed night to Sun night. The neighbor popped in but they never interacted. I know it sounds silly, but cats do get lonely and it's not advised to leave them more than like 48 hours ideally. I personally try not to stretch past 3 days usually. But I'll do it and ask the neighbor to pop in if necessary. I just have the one girlfriend. I have considered trying to live with her temporarily, however, I think I'd get very little sleep as the two youngest are demanding and cry etc. One is 15 months old and the other is 2? Also the very little one tends to get sick all the time (RSV, etc). He ran a fever the night I was there. I know inevitably if I lived there I'd end up dealing with diaper changes etc. and I actively avoid taking sitter jobs with that age range. Yes, I'd do it if I needed to. Apparently we don't currently have matching weekends with our oldest children so dd wouldn't even benefit from me staying there. She might see the oldest child (girl) on Thursday nights, but not any weekends. My friend did start blowing her vape smoke outside I noticed last visit. But yeah, weekends that don't align with the girls + crying/fussing/young babies doesn't have me revved up to move in. I'll probably have to drive to the coast Wed night this week and stay with my dad Wed night through Sun night again. Ugh. I'm going to google prices again for apartments etc. in neighboring towns but last time I did that it was pretty hopeless. I can apply to other jobs but I need to crunch numbers to see the min. I need to make to live comfortably on my own. I'm worried that a pay raise + higher rent will only cancel each other out and I'll just scramble to make ends meet.

I’m debating driving to the coast early so I can just meet dd after school Thursday (technically still my visitation). There are some issues though. My girlfriend that has a daughter at dd’s school also has to coparent and won’t have her dd this weekend. If she did, I’d consider asking to stay there with dd. In exchange for her hospitality I’d help clean her home. I know she’s overwhelmed and hardly home. I wish I had a nonjudgemental friend to do that for me when I was in the thick of it. Last visit she got her ex to swap visit days for our girls and we got them together. It was nice. We hung out at an indoor pool and her house. She has a few kids and some are quite young so staying overnight would not be the best very often (youngest two kept waking up crying/fussing when I was there). My neighbor has a key to check on my cat but I don’t want to impose every other weekend! My cat hides but this way the litter box is checked. I put out water/food feeders. But then the food gets stale. Sigh. So I don’t know what to do. I did realize that duh, staying with a friend isn’t practical unless that friend also has room/is ok with dd sleeping there. That would be Wed night through Sat night or Friday & Sat night depending on when I drove down. I leave leave town Sun nights if I’ve had enough sleep to drive 6-10pm. Last time I got home at 10:30 pm (have to make at least one pit stop usually — gas or potty break). Help me decide what makes the most sense, if you want. I might suck it up and drive to my dad’s Wed night. Until I get a legal “ok” it’s probably best I don’t ask my dad to meet dd at the bus stop. He’s actually not on the school list yet, either so he definitely can’t do car pick up line and I have the car placard. What a mess!! My last email was sent like a week ago asking what my lawyer would do if he handled this case. Crickets. Can’t afford another retainer fee. Golden rule - he who has the gold makes the rules. That’s how these legal battles feel.

I usually do but you can’t see their whole body and sometimes it’s not a great facial view either. The guy I was supposed to go to dinner with didn’t point camera directly frontal for example. Or they are a different body type than you’d expect but you can’t see below the neck. everything is awkward no matter the approach lol

I do need to worry about the photos lol it’s so disappointing and awkward to drive 45 min to be like yeah this is definitely not a match. This one guy that had my info asked to continue talking even though I said I’m not dating and deleting my apps. I agreed to meet him today to bowl. His photo on the app wasn’t great but no crazy facial hair. Met in person today after driving an hr. He had some facial hair and kinda sloppy appearance. No attraction on my end. Bowling alley was overbooked so he suggested the nearby park. An hour awkward walk through park. My gut was saying a day or 2 ago you’re not attracted but I gave it a shot. I said it wasn’t a date but he said maybe there would be a spark so I know he was holding out hope. My bf was a rare cutie for my age group online (wasn’t gray, had full head of hair). Sigh.

I don’t know what age matters in my state. Child support is til 21, though. Ds might live with dad through community college meaning dd might want to stay there for years to come. Settlement says we meet halfway. He’s trying to go by that. He wants me to meet him halfway at 5 or 6pm Friday night. I don’t know what I should do. That means leaving during the work day. Which I can do… I’d work from my office that day. But still inconvenient. I pointed out to him that settlement also gives me Thursdays but that’s messed up now. He’s been giving her OTC motion sickness medicine but the pediatrician isn’t the one that gave him the dose he’s using. Probably his buddy online that’s a NP. I know the OTC stuff is for ages 12 and up. He’s been cutting it in half. The dr prescription we had was $$$ and didn’t work for dd. You must take it like 30 min before the drive and he intends to get her at 3 from school and drive straight to our halfway point. No time for the medicine to kick in til later. Yes, dd is 8. I am not confident I want to restrict the school district. A lot of factors can come into play. However I feel like some restrictions should be outlined. If my lawyer ever responds!!!