Next weekend I’m staying at my girlfriend’s (young kids + pets) but I really need to find somewhere peaceful to hang my hat soon. My dad is stressing me out and vice versa. Accused me of closing a door to the laundry room that I didn’t close, for example… after I reiterated I didn’t. I am worried I’ll be limited to desk jobs because of my feet. And he scoffed at the pay I mentioned for the manual labor saying that’s really not much money. It’s more than I make now!! And with time and additional certifications the pay goes up. Telling myself to ignore him and his expectations. I just need to focus of my personal goals. Doesn’t matter if they are beneath his standards.

Pros/cons pro - dd and her friend had fun all afternoon/evening. I briefly saw ds the other night when I dropped off her jacket and went ahead and gave him Easter stuff early since it was in my car. It was mostly food. He seemed happy. I just want him to know I still think of him. attended the zoom meeting on the construction stuff. Got estimates on state wages/possible jobs. My current income will not be an obstacle! Currently they have a grant that doesn’t require the specific income standards others do. Other times it’s a factor but not right now! The 2 week course is not all in person. Part is done online and they give recommendations on how to pace yourself. Other days you go in person. Sometimes class size is what affects your ability to get into the program. I don’t know how many are trying right now. con - dd is very upset her friend won’t be around this weekend and whines the home is boring without kids (she stated she misses her brothers, step mom and dad). Sigh. I have no control over that. I suggested she get contact info for another friend (neighbor she hangs out with). She said she doesn’t have any close friends in her class. I thought I lost this post for a min because my dad turns off the router every night when he goes to bed. Turning it back on is a PITA. It’s in the garage and has a wonky remote control we usually operate from inside. He doesn’t like it on when he’s sleeping. I’m using my phone data now.

Good thinking. When I attend the zoom meeting maybe they can elaborate on the requirements. On the initial intake form for the zoom thing it asked about children and you chose if you were non custodial parent so I selected that on both.

I read on the website that you must submit proof of income— I don’t know if there are low income requirements to be approved. Usually I make too much for programs that require low income since I don’t claim any dependents.

My biggest concern is my plantar fasciitis. Might be on feet too long with no chance to sit. The first class coming up is 2 weeks and meets 9am-2pm. You get a small stipend for each week you attend.

I got permission to pick up my friend’s daughter from her after school place (I’m on the list, I’ve done it before) so the girls will see each other after school today and eat dinner together. I’m attending a zoom meeting tonight to learn more about a potential job path… women in construction. There are grants in place to cover the cost of the training. Then they assist you with job placement. A friend’s sister did it and now works at a local place making good money. I went to the gym 3 nights in a row (2 different gym trials). Today is the last day on my Crunch Fitness trial and I doubt I’ll go because of work/dd but that’s ok. I enjoyed my time there and I’d be happy to join either gym depending on where I live. I think Crunch has a cancellation fee whereas Planet Fitness is monthly with no commitment. However with either one if I moved I could transfer the membership to another location. I’m still waiting on reimbursement from my child passenger certification renewal. Once I get that, it will help offset the gym fees.

Most of the time I don’t react or comment to their religious, political etc things. It’s easy for me to end up in public with my dad and I was trying to nip the whole Asian terminology in the bud. He’s a wild card. I never know what he’ll say or do in public. I guess I just need to hope his speech isn’t seen as a reflection on me if we’re together… but you know how that can go. They think birds of a feather. I do limit my outings with him. I mostly stay in my room during the day and now I’ve been going to gyms on free trials in the evening. My aunt sends and prints articles, which mostly go unread/ignored. I don’t always join then for dinner. Partly because of conversation and partly because they might eat at weird times like tonight at 4:30 while I was working. I keep telling myself that it’s worth it but I’m wondering if there’s somewhere else I can stay next visit or meet dd at my house. It’s a lot.

I have to announce I’m using the microwave if my dad is within like 20 ft so he excuses himself to be in a safer distance. This means if he’s sitting at the dining room table I have to disrupt him or eat something else. I hid a new piercing all week to avoid a lecture.

Ok I just googled this topic and maybe they aren’t talking about the Plan B product. But he didn’t correct me. At any rate, that’s just one example. Another was when I urged him to say “Asians” instead of “Orientals” and he got defensive that he won’t remember all these rules and change his speech because he might offend someone. To which I said guess I shouldn’t censor myself around you and just cuss. I know, I’m awful! I overheard him talking to my aunt and they decided it didn’t sound bad 🙄 I said later if he really wants to know, he should have a conversation with his Asian neighbor.

My dad and aunt are chipping away at my mental health. 😣😣 Staying here is stressful. And you might not understand but trust me, it’s difficult. Like I drove my aunt somewhere (she doesn’t drive and I invited her to eat with me and dd one day) and I was wondering if the Walgreens was still there or replaced… just before I saw it she said they probably shut it down like a lot of others because of the abortion pills they sell (wait, what?!). I tried my best to not engage much… just said “I’ve never heard that.” With my father, after his random rant on these “abortion pills” the previous day, I tried to set him straight that if he’s referring to Plan B, it doesn’t abort an existing pregnancy… it’s used prior to implantation. He and I fought and he said he was done talking (lol).

My friend's ex messed up their weekends so now we won't have the girls at the same time next weekend boo!! I'll see if I can make plans for them on Thursday night as a substitute! And possibly the following weekend if they line up again. At least I know some things dd and I can do instead next weekend. I'm going crazy without my workout routine so I'm doing a trial at a local gym. I might end up signing up (the monthly fees are low, it's the sign up fee and annual fee that get you!).

Today was fun. We played laser/lazer tag for the first time ever. I had a blast. I think dd did, too. We were paired with another family and we did free for all so it wasn’t lopsided 3 against 2. We warmed up from that (it was chilly outside) so I decided to redeem our coupon for a free go kart ride. We did the 2 seater where I drove and she was a passenger. The single riders on our track were dangerous and tried to zoom past where the track was too narrow ugh. So I tried to keep us to the far edge. There are signs that say no bumping and one of them deliberately bumped us. Dd was kinda nervous and left with a headache but she didn’t hate it. Afterwards I took her to a casino like I did with her brother years ago… back then they had just opened a Ben & Jerry’s. They now have that plus a Dunkin’ Donuts. We got donuts. Kids are allowed in this part of the building. Another visit we may try out a rope course at another casino.

I’m getting a bit antsy. This month I have a makeup weekend so that means 3 weekends in a row which means too much time at my dad’s. I decided to drive back to my house after the second weekend in anticipation of magazine deliveries (so, March 26) and to just relieve the cat sitters/see my cat etc. Then drive back again for weekend 3. But this is draining. My normal cat sitters goofed and I returned to kitty with dirty water and no food out once. Currently my landlords are the ones checking on her but that’s awkward for me. My attorney hasn’t sent over the settlement draft as he probably hasn’t started it. Our court date is end of March so he needs to send it over asap so I can review/modify it. Yes, I’ve talked to him within the last few days and that’s what I was told. I have followed up, too. I try to make the most of our visits. I took dd to a St. Patrick’s Day parade on Friday night and a trampoline place last night. I have plans scheduled with our friends next weekend when my friend’s daughter is in town. I went in person to drop off my résumé at the place where the guy blew off my text. The receptionist said she left it with him and he’ll “be in touch.” I dropped it off Thursday. I’m not holding my breath. My dad is so militant in his thinking which displays in his interactions with others and dd doesn’t like being here because there are no kids (she often comments she misses her stepbro). I’d get a hotel room if it was practical but it’s not. And the rooms we stay in don’t feel like ours because they are multipurpose rooms. My dad wants to go in one to use the SOQI bed. And my aunt comes in the other to use the desktop. Dd is frustrated she has no where to keep her toys and my dad and I have knocked over her calico critters stuff by mistake a couple times.

I turned 40 in Oct and I’ve always been a late bloomer/looked younger than my peers. I wish I had better skin! I use CeraVe per the dermatologist’s recommendation but I do have rosacea so sometimes my face is annoyingly pink. Makeup is something I just don’t wear on a daily basis if that has any impact. As much weight as I’ve lost I still think I have a fluffy chin in some photos ugh lol

I think I’m making up for lost years where I stopped going out! I’ve reconnected with several friends, some of whom are in new local bands. My friend that scored the tickets lives near New Orleans and usually knows what’s going on before I do.

No, I'm not well-versed on individual members. That's very cool. I was excited to learn that the blonde in Vision Video played some shows with Sisters of Mercy. And thank you 🙂

IMO they made it so confusing! And my gf had to attempt like 2x before she got our seats. They kept selling out.

Yes, this is me after losing like 50 lbs (a journey that started in June). I actually was running late to the show because I altered the dress LOL. It was too big under the arms and driving me nuts. When I arrived no one had played yet. I had perfect timing.

My friend got us Cure tickets!! This is so exciting! I didn't do the fan verification thing in time so I couldn't buy them. And several people got stuck on a waitlist. If you get a code to buy today there's no guarantee you even get tickets. Goth dad: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/pNGJbU-PTRU https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LcDKMpvywBQ

I'm into goth/punk subculture and any goth-type bands/events are slim to none in my state. Most bands skip over our state. If you're willing to drive to New Orleans or Memphis you might catch a show. Sometimes it's TX. Currently my main residence is not close to NO and let me tell you the parking is a whole thing (expect to pay $25 and be careful where you choose to park). There's a band called Vision Video that's on tour right now with Then Comes Silence. I just learned of them recently. I am more familiar with the older bands (as I type this my girlfriend is trying to score us Cure concert tickets). Anyway, they had stops scheduled near us and a small gap in their schedule so this local guy pitched for them to stop at a town in our state. They agreed! I drove a couple hours to attend this random show on a Monday night. Well worth it. Because it wasn't a huge venue/crowd, I got a chance to meet everyone. I got photos. It was really neat. The main singer from Vision Video has an Instagram/Tik Tok etc persona of "goth dad." It's funny. He is not a dad IRL and he puts on an accent in the video clips. I'm connected to the local guy on Facebook and met him in person and thanked him for booking the show. "Goth dad" puts on the makeup for the shows, but he's actually gorgeous without any. When I asked him for a photo he offered to sign my poster. Then Comes Silence is from Sweden. Vision Video is from Georgia. They said that a lot of the shows blur together but they will definitely remember this one... the building they played in is/was?? a church/museum. You can book it for events. I don't know if it functions as a church anymore. No pews. There's a girl that plays synth that I met, too but I didn't get a photo with her... she was standing by a sign that said photos $5 when I met her lol. However, they clearly weren't enforcing that at this show.

I originally thought he was trying to buy individual cookies! I was like good grief, 2 cookies for $10

Thank you. I never fully trust people to follow up so I try to get info to enable myself to do the following up. I was supposed to hear from the company Monday and didn't by end of business day so I reached out/offered to send my resumé. They read the message (text settings said so) but no response. That doesn't look great for me. 😕 But you never know what's going on behind the scenes.

The networking event was good. I got a couple leads. One person said they just lost an employee and will call me this week. it was an 80s/90s theme and fun to see what people wore. Even funnier… people not aware of the event seeing me. This hair!! Lol

Still applying for jobs. But most don’t appear they even would pay enough 😞 attending networking event Sat night, going to ask Officr Depot if they can print my resume on some good paper and keep copies in my car. The paper is sold out at Walmart so I’d have to go inside OD anyway and my dad’s printer sucks for color.

He was added to both yesterday. I'm sure we could remove him, but I think it's better to just leave it?