That's great to hear. It would be very interesting to know what made the biggest difference.

I have never actually dealt with the situation where I had to quit my job bc of any kind of harassment so my opinion is based on how I *think* I would handle it. Yes, in theory, what you are saying sounds great and honorable and I am sure there are women who filed complaints for no other reason than not to have anyone else going through ordeals. In reality, I think that does very little, except makes the accuser having to spend her time and emotional and mental energy to deal with a lot of BS. Again, I haven't been in corporate world for about 10 yrs so things might have changed, but from my experience back then - neither complaints to HR or law suits ever did much. ESPECIALLY complaints to HR.

That's my goal and dream is as well. It is such such hard balance to figure out, isn't it?? Even now, when they are all home and safe and their problems are well....not that problematic...there is a constant debate going on in my head - do I get involved, do I help, do I let them figure out, do I provide guidance.... I can't even imagine what will happen when they hit real world, bc of course, the first instinct is to help and protect, but that's not always the best choice.

I know people always say that.... And I am pretty sure we are stable loving family and yet, sometimes I look at my kids and the things that gets them all upset and I start to wonder if they will be able to handle anything.... We shall see....

I know people always say that.... And I am pretty sure we are stable loving family and yet, sometimes I look at my kids and the things that gets them all upset and I start to wonder if they will be able to handle anything.... We shall see....

I don't know if I ever would be successful or not....I just know that I would try. I haven't had a hard life but I certainly have dealt with crap. I am trying to prepare my kids to be able to deal with crap. And some crap is more serious than other. And I think if you make little crap seem big, when really big stuff happens, you can easily fall apart. I am hoping and praying that my kids can know and handle the difference. I have a kid who stresses out about everything. I have a kid who is sensitive in a very private way. I don't know what will happen in 10-15 yrs when they are navigating life on their own, but today I am working on preparing them. Interestingly enough, the blow out was between my husband and I when my then 5 yr old told his grandparents (my husband's parents) that "my mom told me I don't have to hug you".

I was 12, and it wasn't in US. I do too...

I only read OP, so if there were further details, I didn't see it. So, here is what my over all point was (I seem to have a horrible time getting it across) I think people's ability to handle things in life doesn't necessarily depends on age or generation, but the comfort of life they have lead. And some of it is nature, of course. So, for example, when I was 20 and someone touched me, I didn't have time to worry about it bc I was too busy learning English, figuring out how to do college, how to keep two jobs to pay for that college (I didn't know the existence of student loans), etc etc. May be if I had more time on my hands, I would be sitting there thinking how dare he touch me and this is causing me such distress and it would go on and on. Or may be it's just my nature and I wouldn't pay attention either way. I will say that this is probably a bad example of "handling life" bc this is such a personal thing. But in general, I do very much believe what I said above. Oh a side note - I love reading your posts and your experiences.

OK, you are right. You make a great point. Would your kid need therapy after that one time? I am not being snarky, I am really curious. Bc I see what you are saying and of course I understand that people handle things differently, but therapy after someone touched your waist?

Speaking for myself only.....I have picked a profession where I could always find a job. I have never been very career oriented, I never wanted to be a CEO. I was Sr. Manager - that's as far as I wanted to go. I also knew that I would never file any kind of law suits. I probably wouldn't have even filed a complaint. Just would get another job. Bc at the end of the day - I cared only about myself and how it would affect my own life. I can tell you that I've seen women who did wanted a career handle this kind of stuff in many different ways, some of them not so nice. But they did what they had to, in the system that was not easy. I haven't worked in corporate for about 10 yrs....may be things have changed....

OK ladies, this has been fun, but I can't keep replying to numerous people who bring up all kinds of things that didn't have anything to do with OP or my post. So, here is to summarize where I stand 1. Therapy is great and needed. Therapy bc someone touched you once or twice is leading a charmed life. (and bc I can see a slew of many posts coming up with 1000 examples - I am only talking about a few unrelated occurrences) 2. A child living at home and coming to parent with feelings of being unsafe- needs to be seriously addressed. A 20 yr old coming for a visit and not feeling safe bc conversation wasn't pleasant - needs a serious reality check 3. Sexual harassment is bad. Sexual assault is horrible. None of that was described in OP. I never commented on actual harassment or assault, only on what was described in OP. Overall, I think, as with many other issues, things start to improve in certain areas of life, but then go completely overboard. I think it's great to recognize feelings and bad behaviour and address both. I think it's ludicrous to where it has gone in many instances. I think OP is one of those instances. Now, if you all want to pick my words apart, by all means.

I am, just small office, not big corporate one

I never said therapy is a bad thing. I did say that certain things should not require therapy

I never said therapy is a bad thing. I did say that certain things should not require therapy

No one wants to touch my boob now, when I am all grown up and mother of 3. I had people who wanted and tried touching me when I was young and cute and my boobs weren't sucked down by 3 kids.

Wow, that's a huge assumption and jump to make. There are other alternatives....

Ummmm this is entirely different situation than what OP described.

I don't know how many times, but here is where I stand on this particular topic. I can not control what other people do. At all. I don't care how many laws are passed or how many trainings companies go through - I have worked in corporate world for a long time and I know what can go on despite all the effort to curb that type of behaviour. So there is no way in hell would I be getting traumatized to need therapy for someone touching me. I would either slap their hand away, if it's a single occurrence (and I've had that happened) or file a formal complaint for anything other than one time deal. And if I had daughters I would be teaching them the same thing.

I don't discard emotions but not everything has to be Level 10. I don't think it's a generational / age thing, I think it's comfortable life thing. People who are too busy, don't have the time or mental energy to be thinking about counseling bc someone touched them for a minute and a half. And not everything has to have a "term". Let's save that for more serious things. If someone touches your boob and you need counseling - I think you are leading a very charmed life. Oh and if my kid ever tells me that they don't feel safe in my house, I might take them to either homeless shelter or abused women shelter - and then we can talk about not feeling safe. Good grief!

I think I am done stocking up for now so that should help with grocery budget. That has always been my biggest budget breaker, no matter how high I set the amount. We are coming under the budget for everything else this year....let's hope the next two months bring no surprises. Our medical insurance and property taxes are going up significantly for next year, so I need to start putting money away for that. I am not sure what we are doing with presents this year. I keep trying to decrease amount of stuff we buy, but bc we are not going anywhere, I can't do memberships and outings and trips. Arghhh

Oh I hope you didn't take my suggestions as anything but trying to be helpful while you are looking for someone. Believe me, if I could have a house cleaner, I would do it in NY minute. From reading your posts, I think you are an amazing person and incredible mom. I hope you find someone really really fast!

@Dreamergalthank you!! I think the book I mentioned was poorly written and really didn't do her justice, so I was looking for other sources. But evidently my googling skills are not great bc this was the only book I could find.

@Violet Crown - whatever it is you are going through - may it resolve quickly and with good outcomes @Dreamergal - you listing all those books about queens...I have a question for you. If I am not mistaken, you are from India. I read Rebel Queen by Michelle Moran and really didn't like it. But I did wanted to read more about that part of history in India. Was wondering if you have any recommendation;ions. If you are not from India and I wrongly assumed, I am so sorry.

Oh my thank you so so much! Yes to book but this is it!!! I already filled a brand new book case my husband just built, lol

Oh my goodness, I actually am reading non fiction right now -Hetty, the genius and madness of the first female tycoon. Such a fascinating story, I don't think many people know who she was. Here is to hiding away in books during this upcoming week 🙂