Usually when I do this (and I do do that) my kid ends up with some strange disease and I end up feeling like a bad mom. Anyway, I've been ignoring her for awhile now but today she was really whimpering so I showed some compassion. Rose

When I did take her a couple years back, the answer was "growing pains", take tylenol. I'm going to investigate the mineral deficiency which I think might make sense. Thanks, Rose

Anyone have any experience with their children suffering from growing pains? My 11 yr dd seems to be experiencing this right now to the point where she's moaning, almost crying. We went through this a couple of years ago with her but it seems to be happening again. Any advice, other than taking tylenol? I'm assuming these are growing pains. It's mostly her lower limbs that are affected. (I wish my ds 10 would experience some growing pains -- well not the pains, just the growing! lol!)

As for the weight, I am a bit at a loss for what to do. When we adopted him he was four years old and extremely obese. He is not as obese as when we first brought him home. He is a strong willed child and lived in a home where he was allowed to do whatever he wanted. His foster mother said to me, on the day we arrived to get him, "he just opens the fridge and helps himself. What can I do?" (I was thinking to myself, close the fridge and say no.) Which is what we had to do when he came to our home. I had to actually say to him that the fridge was out of bounds unless he asked permission. They also ate a very unhealthy diet. When he first sat at our breakfast table, with a slice of homemade ww bread, he just stared at it like it was a foreign object. His teeth were rotten from baby bottle sydrome (where they allowed him to suck on a bottle with juice at night). I'm not bad mouthing them because I know they loved him very much they just made some funny choices. So, we don't drink any juice or pop at our house. Water and skim milk. I grind my own flour, bake my own everything. We eat a low fat diet (because I do and everyone eats what I make). Honestly I don't know what else I could cut from his diet. And I do talk to him about metabolism and how some bodies just need less food. (Constrast this to my 11 yr ds who is skinny and eats like a horse.) Exercise is one area we could increase. My boys play outside alot but he not as much as the older one. I'm not sure what he could do but I'll investigate. Soccer season starts soon and I will enroll him in that. As for excessive, unwarranted praise. I totally agree. I am a realist parent. I'm not going off the deep end with praise just for the sake of praise. Thanks for those cautions though. I also appreciate the comment about maybe it's not self esteem but too much thinking about himself. This thought has crossed my mind many times as a possibility. Although that would be just as difficult to deal with!! Parenting is tough and each kids dynamics makes for never ending "thinking it through" situations. Rose

Frankly, I don't feel old enough to be married 20 years!! Enjoy the day. Rose

He is very bright, artistic/creative, etc. But, I will make an effort to play up these areas in his life. Rose

I do provide a healthy, balanced diet and exercise is talked about as important. I struggle with weight my whole life and in the last 18 months have lost a lot of weight through diet and exercise so I definitely model it. I also understand it. Some of it, I guess, is maturity and some of it is accepting who you are while following healthy principles. He does move, a lot, playing hockey outside, enrolled in homeschool stuff but he just has such a darn efficient body, hanging on to all those calories (which I can definitely relate to). The most interesting thing with this child is, he is me. In every way. And he's adopted, which always makes me chuckle. You know those 'pay back' comments our parents always threatened us with? Well this is that child. I love him so much. He is such a blessing in so many ways. Thanks for the advice. Rose

I think my 10 yr ds has a self esteem issue. He is over weight and short, compared to his tall, slim brother and sister. He often reads between the lines when people make comments i.e "you look full" he translates as "you're fat". He is also my child that tends to easily see what others do wrong but has more difficulty seeing his own contributions to conflict. He is very strong minded (aka stubborn) and sometimes seems over confident. I'm beginning to realize this might all be an indication of a lack of self-confidence. How do I fix this? Anyone else deal with this? Rose

He grew up with this little tradition that I thought was kind of strange. Of course now my kids do it too. I guess I'll have to apologize to him for thinking it was just his family's idea of fun. (BTW we are both of German decent.) Rose

That's probably the best thing for me to do but it's still frustrating. Thanks, Rose

Well it's not his wife, it's my other brother's wife. So that is not an excuse for him. And he's nine years older than I am . . .his kids are all adults with kids of their own. But throwing a beer at him sounds good! lol! Rose

You're absolutley right about siblings. I feel better this morning. I am confident that the choices we are making are solid and good for my family. Sometimes affirmation from those you are close to is nice. (BTW I have six brothers and sisters. He's the only one that hasn't openly said that our homeschooling choice is the best choice we could make for our kids.) Thanks for your comments about my sil. I know what you mean about everyone dealing with cancer. I have that same feeling.

Thanks for the update. Rose

Have a great day celebrating. Rose

Unfortunately my brother leaves the country tomorrow morning (he works overseas several times a year). But I am resolving not to let this happen again. I am sure my sil will continue treatment. This particular drug used in her last round of chemo seems to affect her physically and mentally (depressing her). Last time it took about a week for that affect to leave her body. However radiation and a mastectomy still loom in the near future for her and its overwhelming. Thanks for listening. Rose

I really needed to vent tonight but was so upset I couldn't even phone my friends or sister -- the tears were flowing. Hot bath, good book -- good idea! Rose

He's pretty opinionated. I can be too but I always, always, always listen to other people's point of view and am always, always, always open to changing my opinion if I'm wrong. I'm not sure he is. BTW, I did feel like kicking him -- well actually I felt the tears stinging and probably should have started crying (which is not characteristic of me) and shock him. Thanks for listening to my venting. Rose

I think our age difference has always given him an upper hand but of course now as grown adults that needs to change. Every time this happens I vow to not engage in the debate next time but I think I need to head it off next time with your line about hurting my feelings because maybe he doesn't think it hurts me. I do enjoy debating and have a strong personality so maybe he thinks I can take it. It's been a tough day here and I think I'm reacting to everything. My sister-in-law (different brother's wife) is going through chemo for breast cancer and informed us this afternoon that she's giving up. The treatments too hard. That's hard to hear even though I know she's speaking during the worst point of the treatment and that in a week or two when she's feeling a bit better she'll speak differently. I'm just rambling. Rose

I'll preface this by saying I love my brother very much. I come from a close family and I know he loves me too. Every so often, however, we get into discussions that are not really discussions. (He is 9 years older than I am and is always right.) Anyway, because I home school and am a christian (which he is too) he often labels me as right-winged fundamentalist (which I am not). I feel like its name calling and its meant to hurt me (I don't think he's really trying to hurt me but it does.) Tonight, he informed me that "it's people like me (aka homeschoolers) that vote for politicians who want to put an end to public school. (BTW I'm Canadian so there's no inference to the present political situation in the US.) Apparently I suck the money out of the school systems (I'm not sure how that can be and when I informed him that one of children would surely have been labeled special needs and require extra funding he was silent.) Then, while he's shooting off all these comments, any time I tried to say something he says "he can never get a word in edgewise". Anyway, I just need to vent that sometimes it's hard not doing what everyone else is doing. Tonight I just think nothing in my life is "normal" even though I am happy with the decisions we are making for our lives. I'm sure tomorrow I'll feel better. I was just so ticked off I had to vent somewhere. Rose

We have just started with TOG yr 2. I love your notebook idea but I am a bit intimidated (I guess I just have to jump in and try and create such a thing. One other question. You like to create your own planners. Is this with pen and paper or using a computer program? Rose

I am going to set aside the rest of this week to do some 'bulk' planning. Beth I see you use Edu-track to input your plans. What do the rest of you do? To this point I have used old fashioned pen and paper (coil bound notebook). Maybe I need to change this up a bit? I am definitely not computer illiterate but I am a bit uncertain of creating my own spreadsheet for this (again, maybe I just need some encouragement that this isn't too difficult or time consuming). Thanks so much for your responses. It's just one of those reflective times in my life. Rose

I am homeschooling three children 10, 11, 11 yrs. I am good at general planning (yearly) but often fly by the seat of my pants each week and am realizing this is not working too well. The problem is finding the time to do weekly planning. It's funny, when the kids were younger I was forced to do something most evenings to prep for the next day. I.E. cutting math manipulatives, etc. Now that they're older I can just wing it but I know it's not the greatest for them or for me. When do you spend time planning for the week ahead? How much time do you spend planning each week? (I really think I just need a kick in the pants!) Rose

But I might use it because I hate going through the whole -- "How old are your kids? Answer: 11, 11, 10. "Oh, twins." . . . usually I just agree rather than explain. Rose

I have three dogs. Two Bernese Mountain dogs -- very hairy and a Golden Retriever mix (need I say more). I cannot believe the difference this handy dandy tool has made. Rose

I had been walking for fitness for over a year -- pretty much the same route I run. Then I began running the same way -- run, walk (actually walk, run would be more accurate.) It's only been this last month that I've broken into a more consistent running pattern. The hill I'm running at this point includes some walking -- I run the first quarter, then from that point we run one telephone pole, walk one telephone pole. My friend tells me we're almost ready to run the whole thing (I think I might do a face plant onto the pavement though.) Keep it up. Rose