Amy in NH
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Posts posted by Amy in NH
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One kid had their major growth event at age 11; they are still 5'9" 7 years later, which is the same height as their father.
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I once tried to speak with my teen's therapist and was abruptly turned away because it was an unethical breach of trust that could ruin their relationship with the counselor. I was only trying to give information that could help the counselor if the kid wasn't truthful with him, but he wouldn't hear me.
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4-H
activities and classes marketed to homeschoolers
Community rec sports
Homeschool teen club
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Barring any special needs, age would be a deciding factor for me. My kids wait for sleepwear camp until they are 11. We haven't had any problems.
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I am so sorry to hear all that your family is going through. Does he have a diagnosis? It's really difficult in the beginning stages of diagnosis and treatment. Until K is stable on the right meds, the roller coaster of ups and downs will continue. Once he is on the right meds you will all find more peace. Of course adjustments may still be needed, but the right meds will bring stability back to your entire family.
My close friend is extremely religious and her oldest child, born a girl and now 24, is now a boy. During the transitioning stages and coming out, this poor person was distraught, depressed and suicidal. She is an atheist through and through. Just a few months ago he posted on FB about being the happiest person he has ever been, coming out was a freeing experience, no more secrets and lies, he is happy, secure and confident. While I never dreamed this would happen, I am so happy it has. I have watched this wonderful person struggle for so long and to see him so happy now makes my heart sing. All this to say that your son is still young and in the stage of life which is difficult as he tries to find his way in this world. I have seen many young adults struggle during this time and around age 24/25 they have a better understanding of who they are, where they fit, and have the peace and confidence which comes with it. It may be rough until then, but I am so thankful K has supportive, loving parents who have his back no matter what. Bravo to you two. Be very child deserves that.
I think in many cases like the one you describe, it is the person's acceptance of themself that is the sticking point. Add in the question of how they fit into the world and it can just be overwhelming.
I think what Ellen is describing is true mental illness, though.
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I'm very sorry. Well wishes for peace and stability.
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They don't take any promo codes for the Android phones since they are already giving triple minutes.
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:grouphug: :grouphug:
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Never heard of it.
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Those are autodialers. If you never answer, the calls taper off and disappear. I rarely answer my phone at all anymore.
But if they are using a phone number you recognize, like your Dh's cell, you wouldn't know it's an autodialer. If you are already on the do not call list you can report these calls.
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Mine showed the local elementary school yesterday, and a heating contractor twice last week. This is a problem with the phone companies allowing them to tamper with the caller ID system. I called my phone company to complain, and they wrote up a note to send to their fraud division.
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I don't think whether or not the 12 year old girl knew it was inappropriate is relevant. It was inappropriate - end of story. It is inappropriate at any age 4, 12, 20, 40, 80 years old. It doesn't matter. People should be taught to keep their hands to themselves. It's a lesson that will do them well throughout their lives.
I teach mine to keep their bodies to themselves. Because you know as soon as you say "keep your hands to yourself" they will start poking with an elbow, head, or toe. :glare:
My middle schooler hasn't been raised in the middle school culture so I'm not sure how he would react. If he was embarrassed, I would definitely discuss the two sides to every interaction - perception and intent. And while his perception of the event is valid, intention DOES matter. Someone who touches him with the intent to intimidate, harass, or embarrass is definitely in the wrong, but someone who thinks it is a harmless joke needs to be given a little grace and set straight without overreacting. It's a hugely important Life Skill to learn to shrug off minor embarrassments and give people the benefit of the doubt instead of protesting every perceived injustice as "not fair!" Stand up straight, say, "That wasn't cool," and don't make a big deal of it unless it becomes a pattern. (Unfortunately necessary disclaimer- I am only talking about minor behavior that is in that gray zone like picking someone up, hugging, pinching cheeks, ruffling hair- not for blatantly offensive behavior like groping someone's body or sticking a hand under someone's clothes).
In no universe can I imagine a group of middle schoolers asking for verbal consent before touching. Is it really necessary to get consent before putting your arm around someone? Hugging them? Are permission slips in order (time-stamped, because consent can always be revoked)? Note that I am not saying "anything goes," just that getting explicit consent before any kind of touch is unrealistic. People are going to use their judgment to anticipate what is going to be perceived with the spirit a touch is intended. Some people will perceive it differently, but that doesn't automatically make the toucher WRONG and BAD. (Of course there will be people who do have bad intentions- but there's a difference between someone who hugs someone out of what they perceive to be mutual affection and someone who hugs to exert dominance).
I teach my kids to use their best judgment, but that they can't control anyone else's interpretations of their actions. Everyone has their own backgrounds, previous experiences, judgments, and sensitivities, and often it's really not about you at all.
Although I respect the rights of others to feel differently, I do think that some go too far in criminalizing childish behavior.
ETA: I just asked my 8th grader what he would do, and he rolled his eyes. He wouldn't do anything but tell them to stop.
And what do you do when they don't stop? And other kids join in? And your kid is being pinched by multiple kids multiple times per day? And you go to the administration who doesn't do anything about it?
That's what we're talking about here. I'd be willing to bet this wasn't a first offense, and based on the second article mentioned in this thread it seems it was multiple kids engaged in the behavior.
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Experience of the self in this level of dimensional reality.
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Yes, they do. I have a table with a board-top in my kitchen and it is awful to keep clean. Because wood expands and contracts with temperature and humidity I'm not sure how long the clear silicone would seal the cracks, and If you didn't get it just right it would make raised ridges between the boards which would be a problem when you need a flat surface.
We got our table for free from someone who was likely getting rid of it for the same reason! But I am waiting for DH to build me a center island, so it will have to do.
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Cognitive behavioral therapy.
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Do you spend a lot of time at the library anyway? Know the librarians well? If so, could you use them as personal references?
Do you have old friends you keep in touch with? No saying personal references have to be local.
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Medicine is getting worse and worse.
My friend is a Family Physician and she said that as of October they were told the practice would be doubling up on patients. She is not to meet with anyone more than 15 minutes total.
Apparently with the new health care system, everyone must get a physical every year to keep that insurance. That means a huge increase of people at the doctor's offices from those who didn't always go.
Also, most insurances are cutting way back on psych care. So, people are going to their family doc to ask for psych meds. But in the meantime, they think of it as a psych consult and want to go long after the 15 min. to get a therapy session in.
I took one of my kids in last week for a yearly physical (he needs it for camp each year) and appt was at 1pm. We didn't see the doctor until well after 2pm.
Dawn
No, everyone does not have to get a physical exam every year to keep their health insurance. The truth is that a lot of people who couldn't afford to see a regular doctor in the past now have insurance and have stopped using the ER as their PCP. The number of physicians did not increase at the same rate, hence more patients per doctor.
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Low barometric pressure can swell the sinuses, and many chronic illnesses are exacerbated by changes in pressure and humidity. Cold air may also irritate preexisting conditions. It was reported late last year that studies showed the cold virus prefers cold noses. So, there may be some truth to weather increasing the chance of catching a virus or causing other discomfort perceived as illness. But wet hair has nothing to do with it.
Sources: CDC, WebMD, BBC
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I'd think she took a shower.
I never use a hairdryer. I go out in public with wet hair from time to time. It dries. No big deal.
If others judge you for being real, they are not worth your concern.
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Why drug testing ? I'm sure bottom pinching occurs in the non-drug addled also.
Arresting someone is insane. Writing a speech to give to the school on respecting the personal boundaries of others, is a consequence that would actually have a chance of modifying future behaviour. A personal apology to the person pinched.
In terms of police response, a one-off incident of harassment should surely only garner a caution ? And yes, if it was a boy pinching a girl's bottom as a one off, I'd feel the same way.
I think it's a ridiculous misuse of police resources.
It is insane unless there is a long history of bullying and this was the last straw. I hear from too many people looking to homeschool because their kids are being bullied or even stalked in the public schools and the school doesn't do anything about it even when the parent is very involved. I think this reaction would be warranted (get it!) if there was a pattern of aggression, and this would be pretty far down the list of interventions designed to end the problem.
I'm not saying that's what is happening here, just that there is probably more to the story than one pinch on the rear.
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My kids fought over who got to install a new doorknob yesterday. They both learned how to do it while they took turns.
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3 sons and a DH
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Discomfort.
Black cohosh.
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UGH.
I am organizing (again) a social event. This time it is a dinner where I need to make reservations. I have asked that people please make a commitment so I can reserve the right amount of seats at the restaurant.
I STILL have 3 full families responding with, "Not sure, we will know more on the day of the dinner." However, even with that, they often just don't show up.
I don't want to be rude and say, "commit or you won't have a seat". This is a casual get together, but I also hate having the restaurant place tables for 8 people who may not even show up.
Do restaurants expect this or do they get really irritated?
Dawn
PS: I do know I can get obsessive over things too much.
I'd tell them if they don't know by such and such a date then they won't be included in the reservation.
Anyone have experience with early or even precocious puberty in boys?
in The Chat Board
Posted
You do know that people used to get married and start their own families at age 13? That was still the legal age for people to marry in NH with parental consent back in the 1980s. They weren't marrying off prepubescent children.