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Amy in NH

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Posts posted by Amy in NH

    I need a pep talk

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    In cases like this I always remember the ethics motto my kids had to learn in martial arts class:

    I do what I know is right, even if it means standing alone.

     

     

    Not only do un-vaccinated people run a higher risk of catching and spreading the virus, leading to unnecessary deaths and/or long term lung, heart, and brain consequences of self and others, but the fewer people who are vaccinated the more likely there will be mutations that will be resistant to the vaccine, prolonging suffering both economically and due to more unnecessary deaths/adverse health outcomes.

    • Like 24
    • Thanks 1

    Mass shooting at a FedEx facility Indianapolis

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    3 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

    I link to articles or honestly my new friens who are Black young women and their work as well.  Or another friend who is white married to a black man who wrote a fabulous piece about her Christian response when someone called her kid a fing n... on a Zoom call.  But I get crickets.  I am already posting tgese kind of things once a week.  No one ever responds.  The only time I ever get comments is on fun family stuff. 

    You don't need responses in order to amplify voices.  People quietly take note.

    • Like 7

    Mass shooting at a FedEx facility Indianapolis

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    On 4/17/2021 at 3:20 PM, Plum said:

    I don't think curating my news down to what is important for me to know and what is within my control is avoiding or denying it. I know it all exists out there. At least I seek out information. There's a good number of people out there that don't watch the news and they go about living their lives happy and healthy and productive. There are most certainly issues that affect every single one of us that deserve national attention...

    [SNIP]

    So, this implies that if it doesn't happen locally or affect you personally, then you don't want to know about it.  But, like the butterfly effect, everything affects you personally in some way in the long run. 

    For example, if some teen dies in a car accident in another state, don't you want to know if it was caused by faulty equipment, distracted driving due to a carload of friends, or a lack of education?  Might many similar stories change what you would do with your own teen driver?

    For another example, if people in Georgia and Texas change their laws to disenfranchise a particular group of people in order to suppress political opposition to their minority platform, then you will be impacted when the groups chosen by those state-level fascists (defined as form of authoritarian ultra-nationalism characterized by dictatorial power, forcible suppression of opposition and strong regimentation of society and of the economy) become national-level fascists and re-write all of your laws.

    Would you rather act pro-actively or re-actively to make the world a better place for everyone? It behooves us to know what is going on in the world.

     

    • Like 4

    Mass shooting at a FedEx facility Indianapolis

    in The Chat Board

    Posted · Edited by Amy in NH

    On 4/17/2021 at 4:26 PM, TexasProud said:

    Explain.This always seem so fuzzy. I always feel like I am being yelled at for not doing enough, but do not know what to do?

    Using racism as an example, but this also works amplifying the voices of other marginalized and oppressed groups such as LGBTQ+, etc.:

    If you have a presence on social media, you can include some anti-racist articles and links in your daily posting.  It could be something about how BIPOC are disproportionately affected by many problems - be it health, violence, education, climate change, etc.  It could be about BIPOC achievements in all fields from science to literature.  It could be about legislative initiatives or legislators who support or oppose racist actions. 

    Posting something different each day, a good mix, to let all of your friends and family members know that these are important issues, can change the social narrative about BIPOC and open people's eyes to injustice, causing them to also take action.  We need to reach a tipping point of awareness and action in order to make broad social changes.  IMO, if you aren't already aware ie. "woke" (some people say this like awareness is a bad thing?), having some stranger yelling at you about things outside your personal experience is likely to make you turn your back and dismiss it, but if someone you know and trust brings it into your awareness you are more likely to give it some thought; the more people you know who are talking about it and/or affected, the more likely you are to become engaged in the social action.

    Here is a great list of pages you can follow to re-post articles:

    If you know of an organized peaceful protest, you can also amplify voices by showing up and adding yours.
    You can also call your legislators to express your position before a vote in your state or federal legislature.

    • Like 3
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    Mass shooting at a FedEx facility Indianapolis

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    17 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

    I don't disagree.

     

    But I want to put forth the idea that I think broadly applies.  At least in terms of the concepts of Plum's post that I agree with...

    "we can't save them all."

     

    As a person, I literally cannot advance change or betterment in ALL THE THINGS that need that sort of thing.  I can't help the border crisis, help gun control problems, help domestic violence problems, help child abuse problems, help education reform, help child hunger, help girls become strong women, help education reform, help police training reform, help support transparent elections, etc etc etc etc...pick ANY issue of your choice......as an individual person....I literally cannot do all those things all at the same time.   And I certainly cannot do it while also putting my kids lives back together from their own personal tragedy (which...yes I have mine but the truth is, we ALL have our own tragedies at any one given moment)  and while working to feed them nutritionally responsible meals as much as I can, and supporting my extended family through the additional family issues, oh and, yeah "self care" and so on and so on and so on.

     

    Every human has to pick and choose what they have the mental capacity to care about and then....recognize that they aren't capable of taking ALL THE ACTION.   It's not wrong to make a choice about the things you can care about and then choose to even...gasp...ignore the rest.

    I mean, you can do all of that to the extent that you vote with your dollars and your electoral ballots.

    Support political candidates that work toward betterment in a majority of those areas - no one politician is perfect, but choose ones who are trying to make a difference. 

    And support businesses which support those causes, while also purposely not supporting businesses that detract from them.

    And you can be a voice, particularly if you come from a place of privilege.  Amplify injustice instead of trying to bury it, so that others will be compelled to take action.

    Not saying you personally don't already do those things - this is a general "you". 
    Also, we can always re-evaluate our personal actions on this front.

    • Like 8
    • Thanks 4

    Advice about a kid refusing to go to school?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted · Edited by Amy in NH

    Have you asked him what he is interested in?  What he wants to learn?  Even if it's only a couple of things, find him resources in terms of books, magazines, classes, supplies, community members, and let him spend his time focused on those things.  If he doesn't know what kinds of productive things he likes doing, get some adult hobby catalogs like Dick Blick, Edmund Scientifics, Pitsco.

    One of my kids was similar to yours, and instead of trying to put them into school where I knew the refusals would result in failure, I asked those ^^ questions.  We had been very WTM/rigorous academics until that particular year.  But that kid had worn me out with the complaining, arguing, and refusing, and I had younger kids who needed my homeschooling attention.  So we agreed to try something different - I insisted on time spent in a productive manner, but that kid got to choose their own projects.

    They ended up spending 13yo year learning Mandarin through an online program, learning to play the drums mostly self-taught with a tutor who came to the house once per month, improving at soccer by practicing on their own in the off-season, and reading a lot of science fiction and fantasy books of their choosing.  We participated in homeschool ski club.  Played with Legos.  Did some 4-H projects - "learn by doing" - which meant learning to cook with friends, sewing a civil war style jacket, doing a trade-show style presentation on drum notation including posters & speaking with people who came by the table, hiking with friends, raising a lamb and showing it at the fair, working at the ice cream booth at the fair and helping set up a hot air balloon.  And participating in family activities such as swimming in the local river, making Christmas cookies, etc.

    Lo and behold, the following year they decided they wanted to learn some math!

    This particular kid just did better with a more "unschooling" child-led style education than some of my other kids.  They chose to end their homeschooling career with a graduate equivalency diploma at age 17 just to prove that they were done; I had not done any formal work with them since they were 12, yet they maxed out all of the subtests except writing, on which they scored only a couple of points below max.

    There are so many things to learn, and so many ways to learn them.  I've come to the conclusion, after 20+ years homeschooling, that learning in relationship through meaningful hands-on projects just works better for many (most?) people.  I don't regret for one minute having loosened the reins on academics.

    Another sibling stuck with WTM, and did very well. Another decided to take in-person vocational education/trade school starting at age 15, and works too many hours now as a young adult.  They're all different!  They're adults now, and successful in their own ways.  And we continue to have a great relationship!

    Adding - we did experience some mental health challenges.  I decided that relationship & mental health were more important than the academics I had planned when they were born.  The kids with mental health challenges (which run in my family) went through some counseling, and continue to take medication for anxiety & depression. 

     

    • Like 4

    PSA Article: Possible shortage of toilet paper because of Shipping Container shortage

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    On 3/29/2021 at 6:09 PM, kand said:

    Has anyone been using bamboo toilet paper with a septic system for a significant length of time? We used bamboo at our previous house, but I stopped when we moved to a house on septic, because the reviews seemed iffy to me and I'm not willing to put something into the septic system that isn't tried and true for not causing any problems. I'd rather use a more sustainable type of TP though (we do use cloth a lot as well, but not for everything).

    Yes, we have a septic system and have been using bamboo tp for a few years.  No problems.

    • Like 2

    Increased appetite with heavy exercise

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    The Weight Lifting for Women book I use recommends a high-protein snack or meal within 30 minutes after completing an exercise session.  It has made a big difference in the amount of hunger I experience.  I can workout in the morning and have my protein shake, then not be hungry until dinner.  If I do get hungry, a big drink of water usually tells me that it was thirst and not hunger that I was experiencing, or sometimes chewing gum will trigger my "just ate" reaction.  Other times a high fiber snack will do the trick if I'm hungry between meals - I often snack on fresh produce like snap peas if I'm up late.

    • Like 1
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    Do y’all remember the yard dragon?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I got scammed on a beautiful sweater that appeared in a FB ad.  I bought it using Paypal.  What arrived was an ugly, thin, polyester thing with a sweater printed on it!  I contacted the seller, and they offered to give me a refund if I paid return shipping to China, which was more than the "sweater" cost.  I contacted Paypal with the scam details, pictures from the website, pictures of the item, and they refused to credit me unless I was willing to pay for the return shipping - which I was not. 

    I had ordered other items from the scammers along with the "sweater", and they had been "backordered" at the time time the "sweater" arrived, so I cancelled them immediately.  I never got a refund on those items.  I contacted Paypal again and spoke with a live person who refunded me for the entire amount including the "sweater", which I threw in the trash.

    I still see the same ad from different business names on FB, and report it as a scam every time.

     

    That was a really cute dragon in the ad.  I'm sorry that happened to you.  Be persistent with Paypal to get your refund, if that's how you paid.

    PSA Article: Possible shortage of toilet paper because of Shipping Container shortage

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    17 hours ago, Terabith said:

    Because of the hive, I started thinking about stocking our pantry before the pandemic hit, and we were actually super well supplied when the pandemic hit (since toilet paper keeps well and I have a terrible memory, it turned out in addition to the 12 pack I had bought and put in the house, there was a 12 pack in the trunk of each car).  And we had signed up for a subscription for delivery of sustainably produced bamboo toilet paper shortly after the toilet paper crisis of 2020 hit.  You tell them how many people in your family there are, and they send you a box however often they think you'll need one.  Except, apparently we use WAY less toilet paper than this company thinks we should.  WAY less.  I just deferred my next box by 8 weeks, because I still have two full boxes of like 36 rolls.  

    I have enough toilet paper to give it as gifts to all my friends and neighbors.  Which I may do, if there really is another toilet paper crisis.  It comes wrapped in adorable polka dotted or striped paper.  It's pretty cute, actually.  

    We buy the same cute bamboo toilet paper brand as you! 

    It's great stuff...  and I did give away a few rolls as gifts during the TP shortage last year.

    • Like 3

    Struggling with mom moving in. (Update)

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Can you think of the strongest person you know, the one with the best communication skills who is never ruffled, and pretend to be them during the conversation?  If you set yourself aside and "act" like someone who you perceive as stronger than you feel, you don't have to worry about her response.  That person wouldn't be upset if she throws a temper tantrum or lashes out...  they'd be dispassionate.  This technique is much like stutterers who lose their stutter when they're acting, so that you can set aside your own fears and reactions for the conversation and just be more matter of fact.  Like parenting an emotionally volatile toddler. 

    Just a thought to get you through that moment.

    • Like 6

    women was fined for reporting stalker...then he killed her

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Not sure what the laws are in the UK, but I can assure you that bail orders for domestic violence situations are very specific and rigorous in the US.  If someone is in any kind of intimate relationship and bodily contact occurs - even for just a push, but definitely what you described above - they are entered into a federal database for domestic violence offenders and have many prohibitive conditions set if they are released.  That's not to say that DV killings after a restraining order don't happen, but I can assure you the victim would not have been fined and disbelieved. 

    Vents that don't pull as much heat or air conditioning?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    3 hours ago, Katy said:

    In a previous house there was a vent shut off system in the basement.  We wouldn’t have found it except the home inspector pointed it out. It took some experimenting to figure out how to get them all open at once.  No idea why you’d choose an expensive system when you could just put a magnet over the vents in the room you want shut off. 

    They are not meant to all be fully open.  They are meant to even out the airflow by being left in various partially opened and closed positions.

    Airflow through ducts is subject to some crazy mathematical formulas based on the length of the duct run, the diameter of duct pipes and vent sizes, the number of angle-duct pipes in the run and their angles, where on the run they are off of the main duct, etc.  Air systems also need to have the correct amount of return air in order to operate at full efficiency.  It's a lot of variables, and probably requires a professional to look at it to make recommendations.

    • Like 1

    Whatcha Planting?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    5 hours ago, Spy Car said:

    How does that work?

    Are the blue spruce planted densely, but allowed to develop as closely-spaced but naturalistic looking "trees," or do they get hard clipped into a formal hegde?

    In recent years I've been fascinated to see some local coast live oaks (quercus agrifolia) which can grow into very large specimen trees here in CA, that have been planted in mass and hard pruned into hedges. Never would have thought.

    Bill

    The spruces will get too big to maintain as a clipped hedge, so we are going for a natural screen.  We are planting them 20 feet apart in a natural wooded area between our house and the road. 

    Last summer I cleared a light-path for them by cutting small trees and clearing brush.  I also dug the holes (loosened the soil where they will be planted), and cut old carpet squares with an "x" in the center for them to grow through to keep them from being crowded out by weeds while they are small. 

    I have ordered 10 saplings from our county conservation district plant sale, and they will be ready for pickup on May 1.  We are all ready to go! 

    • Like 4

    Whatcha Planting?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Later this spring we will plant a blue spruce privacy hedge.

    I have plans to put up a strawberry gutter on top of our backyard garden fence.

    We'll fill in the blanks in our asparagus patch, and plant the regular flowers and veggies in the raised garden beds.

    And I'll try to start a few seeds to fill in my perennial flower beds if I get time this summer.

     

    How far/often do you drive for kid’s activities?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Right now it is only 30 minutes each way 3-4 days/wk for dance (they consolidated schedules due to COVID - it used to be 5-7 days/wk), and 1x/wk for piano.  We had been doing 45 minutes each way for a second instrument, but she's studying on her own right now and I'm considering an online teacher for advanced instruction.

    It used to be much, much more when I was homeschooling multiple kids.  We've done an hour each way weekly for skiing or art, plus lots seasons of 10-15 minutes each way daily for fine arts, a variety of sports, 4-H, and for a couple of years we did 2 hours each way monthly for a homeschool teen group.

    Weekend discussion topic: jumping tiers for CV vax UPDATED: appointments releasing in ten minutes!

    in The Chat Board

    Posted · Edited by Amy in NH
    clarity

    I haven't read the other replies yet.

    I think the more people who are vaccinated, the better.  There are enough people eligible through the current tier system who won't get vaccinated or skip their appointment, that I'd rather those vaccines go to anyone than get destroyed for expiration.  I asked to be put on a list to be called to take unclaimed vaccinations, but I was told they wouldn't have enough vaccine for leftovers.  However, I've heard that when "they" run local vaccine clinics, people who aren't tier-eligible can show up at the end and get immunized with the leftovers. 

    My mom (a retired RN) had an appointment to get her first dose at the end of this month.  Nevertheless, she went to a vaccination clinic and offered to assist in any way possible.  She was told they didn't need help, and they immunized her on the spot!  They even made her appointment for the second dose.

    IMO, if there are enough leftovers to vaccinate people who just show up, a few tier-jumpers will only increase herd immunity without detracting from those who are eligible.

    • Like 1
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