Thank you for posting this. I just read an article in the Washington Post regarding Mr. Douglass and the exhibit on his life - at the Smithsonian, if I remember correctly. I was prompted to pull out a book of his speeches I have wanted to read. I will listen to this podcast later today.

My DH’s cancer was initially diagnosed from just a Ct scan. According to his oncologist, masses in the area of DH’s cancer are 100% of the times cancerous, they don’t need the biopsy to confirm, only to tell them specifics. We are only two months in to the hell that is cancer, but I can say everything I thought I knew about cancer (from movies, books, media, friends and family with cancer) is not always how the journey goes. It very much depends on the type of cancer. Dah’s type of cancer is one of those that doesn’t follow the norm. I am so sorry about your friend.

Thank you so much for this information. re: radical diet and re: the video in debate The thing with “radical” diet is… I have a cousin who thinks I eat a radical diet and that I am depriving myself of living a good life because of the foods I consume. Yet he is over 300 pounds and diabetic. On his favorite sports team’s first game of the season, he posted a photo of his “game day food.” He can say that my eating kale is radical, yet I can’t say that consuming a large bucket of fried chicken is radical because to him that is normal. @Selkie Thank you very much for the video. I am sorry for the discussion around it. I *do* appreciate that you posted the video. I had a chill day today and it was a good time to watch it and go down some rabbit holes.

@Jane in NC Thank you so much. I hope to message you tomorrow. I greatly appreciate your input. Best wishes to you and your husband.

Re: changing my diet because of DH’s needs I am more worried about stress eating and falling back to old habits. When I was going through tons of neurological testing prior to my Parkinson’s diagnosis, I got into the (very bad!) habit of going out for (gluten free) pancakes after my neuro appointments. I would actually schedule my appointments so I could go out for pancakes. I was struggling to eat anything at the time and everything made me horribly sick to my stomach. I mostly lived on toast, rice and pancakes for a year. I gained so much weight, as I couldn’t exercise like I was used to. Pancakes are still such a comfort food to me, but gluten free baked carb items are awful for me, like a gateway drug. I do, thankfully, have a really great support system. I work out with a personal trainer that is also certified in plant based nutrition and my yoga mentor that is plant based vegan. I have lost the weight I gained prior to my Parkinson’s, was able to build up from toast to growing and eating microgreens, etc. But those dang old habits! I worry they are still too close to the surface.

He will start the BCG treatments shortly after the next surgery. I just found out that the husband of someone I know through my business received BCG in the very early days of its use. He is doing very well today, so that is so encouraging. DH’s is considered high grade because the main tumor was over 3mm in size and had satellite tumors off it. It was frightening to see the size of it on the scans, compared to size of bladder. Thank you so much for the information.

I haven’t been able to read or respond to all of the comments yet, but will get to them tonight. I was worried about this post coming up on an internet search, so I was vague about the type of cancer. But - regarding diet, etc - DH cancer is invasive high grade b l a d d e r cancer, which has a very high rate of recurrence. Per his oncologist: this will forever be an issue for him from now on. (They were looking for kidney stones, but found the cancer below the kidneys.) I already follow a plant based diet for my young onset Parkinson’s, along with growing as much of my food as I can. I am not planning on putting my DH on a strict diet by any means! In my research for my own health issues, I have read considerably about cancer, lupus, inflammation, etc, because there is a lot of overlap. I would like to help my DH in any way possible so maybe his rate of recurrence rate isn’t what we are currently being told. He already eats what I make when he eats at home. He does eat his own selections for breakfast, lunch and when we eat out. I have told him I am willing to do as much or as little as he wants me to. But at the same time, I also need to keep up with my own health. My neurologist and rheumatologist have both been extremely pleased with my labs after I changed how I eat two years ago. I don’t want to revert to stress eating my way to the standard American diet.

I actually didn’t specify where the cancer was because I wanted to somewhat remain anonymous and was worried about this thread popping up on a search engine. But his cancer is in the bladder, not kidneys. Sorry for any confusion on that end. They are trying to save the bladder, but first round of surgery and the biopsy - it is an invasive high grade cancer. This sort of cancer has a very high rate of recurrence and will for the rest of his life be a continual issue. Many other cancer do not have this type of recurrence issue.

Thank you so much for the links and info. Greatly appreciated. Esp about the YMCA. DH has never gone to a gym a day in his life but told me a few days ago that he is thinking about joking one. He does outside hardcore exercise, but just a single focus. Thank you for that perspective. I already cook/eat Whole Foods, plant based because of my health. I don’t want to obsess over his diet, too, because I already put a lot in to mine. (Doesn’t feel like too much because we both enjoy the foods a lot.) I just don’t want myself to backslide because my diet has been so beneficial for my Parkinson’s. DH has been on board with that and enjoys it, but he is very lean and really shouldn’t lose weight during his treatment. No way does he even have 20 pounds to lose. I will need to find some balance between both of our needs.

Thank you so much for the video. I just finished watching it. It was powerful. Sent the link to DH, even though I was sending him texts and screenshots the whole time I was watching it. That was a good rabbit hole to go down. Thanks!

1st paragraph: That was my same exact thought! That section was as far as I got with her book. Yes, I threw the baby out with the bath water. LOL 2nd paragraph: That is fascinating and sad. The sections where she went in to vegetarian myths are 100% based on a vegetarian version of the standard American diet, not one that is plant based. The first vegetarian I ever knew was back in 1980’s, when I was in college, and she very much lived on rolls slathered in margarine and French fries. While a similar 1980’s diet well may have accelerated an MS diagnosis, that is far from a plant based vegetarian diet today.

Please don’t quote. I will likely delete parts of OP. My DH was diagnosed with cancer last month. It came completely out of the blue. We have been married 30+ years; he has always been the super healthy one. Me? I have had every bizarre, random health issue imaginable. Him? Nothing. Ever. He urinated blood on a Thursday, called the family doctor, had an appointment that Monday and by that Friday was being expedited to a specialist when the Ct scan looking for kidney stones showed a large tumor. He had surgery a little over a week ago. Yesterday we had the post-op appointment to go over the pathology report. We are still digesting everything and don’t yet know if this is just a major detour on the way to retirement or if we have just been pushed off a cliff. DH has decided to bury his head in the sand between now and the next surgery. I get it, from his perspective. The first surgery didn’t get all of the cancer, we still don’t know the full extent of the cancer, treatment options or even if he will be able to keep the involved organ until after the next surgery. Me, on the other hand, I need to get my ducks in a row. I have a ton of nervous energy and it is too hot to go bury my angst in the garden. We happen to live within 30 miles of one of the best cancer centers in the states, which is where we were referred to last month. We have been very happy so far with the facility and doctors. I did ask the oncologist yesterday about diet and lifestyle and cancer and outcomes. He said “stop smoking” is the only thing that favorably affects cancer outcomes and since DH has never smoked, there is nothing he can do in that regard. I read The China Study when it first came out and just purchased the latest edition. After yesterday’s appointment, I went to a used book store and bought a couple more books on cancer and diet. But any cancer books you can recommend? I mainly eat a Whole Foods, plant based diet and it has been fantastic for my Parkinson’s. DH eats what I make him, but he also eats crap foods, like microwaved frozen meals for lunch at work. Caregiver books, videos, etc, you can recommend? I need to figure out my life. I started a small business several years ago, as a way to update my job skills, should I decide to go back to work after we finished our homeschooling journey. Along came my Parkinson’s diagnosis and going to work was put on hold. My DH doesn’t want me to close my business, as he thinks I need the social and creative connections. I have been downsizing it for the past year, but still have a ways to go. I don’t want to make any fast decisions, just mulling it over. Financially, we are okay, but I worry about health insurance.

https://www.drfuhrman.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjwkeqkBhAnEiwA5U-uM-kTw1i_CKxPAjbKldH-gs0wI7KTUvjunogbEuT8HLYn5JwHAiM0TRoCjY0QAvD_BwE Resources tab I bought the dvd set for myself for Christmas it was fabulous a bit dated perhaps but the info is good and the message is very inspirational. I was going to direct link to the dvd but then saw one of his books is available on clearance. https://shop.drfuhrman.com/sale/ His recipes are widely available on Pinterest. My DH, who hates nuts, absolutely loves his no oil, walnut salad dressing. This video is five years old now and Dr Fuhrman has moved across country, but it is still fabulous! I absolutely love this YouTube channel! He visited a local (to me) microgreen grower that I buy from at our farmers market. This microgreen vendor and YouTube channel helped me get started eating again after struggling with acute nausea related to Parkinson’s.

Quoting myself, to include that info. The Wahl’s Protocol, 2020 edition, page 191 The Potential Harm of Vegetarianism I hope I’ve convinced you that meat has a lot of great benefits for your health, but maybe you don’t care. You’re a vegetarian and you plan to stay that way. I understand… (snip…) but once you proceed to Wahl’s Paleo, vegetarianism is no longer an option. Beyond the many benefits of animal meat, there are also many dangers that come with eating a vegetarian diet that has not been structured to ensure all nutritional needs are met. As a physician and researcher, I do not agree that a vegetarian diet is the healthiest for humans - and in fact I believe it can actually be harmful, particularly if it is not practiced carefully. Furthermore, I believe that my many years as a vegetarian could have helped trigger or at a minimum accelerate my MS. She then goes on with sections on: vegetarian danger 1: skewing your fatty acid ratios vegetarian danger 2: vegetable oil vegetarian danger 3: grains and legumes vegetarian danger 4: soy

About ten years ago, we added a large wrap around covered patio on our house. It was designed so that we could screen or add windows if we ever wanted to fully enclose. We haven’t opted to. We do use it year round in (garden zone) zone 8a/southern United States. Our patio 100% looks like it is part of the house and not just a patio tacked on. We found that there were so many factors in the estimates, online and from builders. Moving gas lines. Appliances and electrical outlets. Lighting. I do know a large portion of our cost was labor for rock work, which is so amazing we still talk about it.

I have the book and have read parts of it. I was interested in it for my Parkinson’s. But I was turned off by the fact that she, in one portion of one of her books, blames her MS on being vegetarian. I am following Dr Fuhrman and have been having very good results with reducing inflammation.

We found our pet sitter through our vet. We have used her for ten years now and adore her. I have a huge garden and have had her water the garden for me, with detailed instructions. We have since had two teens/young adults in the neighborhood start pet sitting businesses and I would consider them, if need be..

I probably would pay, though it would also depend on how much it would cost. I have made wax melts before. Some turned out great, others were flops. I could never figure out why. I recently paid $5 for a jewelry making class at the senior center. The project didn’t interest me at all, but it was the best $5 I have ever spent because I learned so many skills and got a ton of ideas. That has me looking again at taking classes. I have wanted to take a bookbinding class for a long time now. I have books on it and can do the basic ones, but I haven’t been able to figure out the more involved bindings. Years ago I took a canning class at a speciality grocery store. The instructor was giving outdated, crazy scary information.

Same with my DH’s family. His dad recently passed away from cancer (lymphoma), and now my DH now has bladder cancer. He doesn’t have any risk factors for it, aside from being male. (Men are much more likely to get bladder cancer than women because they don’t urinate - flush toxins from the bladder - near as often as women.) It makes me wonder about the toxins we were exposed to growing up in a farming community.

I am so sorry. I hope for the best for your husband’s brother. My DH was diagnosed with cancer last month. It is such a heaviness. His siblings, one just a bit older and one much younger, have been really struggling with the diagnosis.

I celebrate the start of each season quietly in my garden, walking barefoot and documenting what is going on in the garden.

Creamation with ashes planted under a tree. (I prefer green burial, but that isn’t possible where I currently live. That may change before I go.) A celebration of life at one of two places that are meaningful to me, fully catered meal, for friends and family.

I don’t have any friends that are interior designers, but I may put out feelers to see if I can find one. We do have an ikea not too far away. And it happens to be by one of my favorite places to eat. When DH is recovered a bit more, I will see if he can drive me. I searched “ikea hacks” on Pinterest and found some neat ideas. We have really liked the oncologist so far - everyone at this medical center, actually, has been amazing. DH had the first round of chemo in the operating room on Friday. The waiting now is awful. We have no idea what further treatments may be needed. The tumor was quite large and had satellite tumors around it, but they feel they got it all on Friday.

Thank you, everyone, for the fabulous ideas and suggestions. And also for the well wishes. DH’s surgery on Friday went very well, we are now waiting on the pathology report. I burned a lot of nervous energy this weekend, tearing in to my kitchen, and have ordered several of the items mentioned. Some of the items ended up being a rabbit hole, which lead to some neat finds. I ordered clear plastic stacking trays for my assortment of teas. That alone cleared up one small shelf in a cabinet and part of a countertop! I had no idea how unruly all of my boxes of teas were, plus metal tins on the counter with even more. I think I am going to shift my appliances over to the right of the sink and prep some to the left of the sink and some over the sink. While DH’s sibling was in town over the weekend, we were talking about kitchen storage and making the flow better for me. I commented how I have two stand alone cabinets in the breakfast nook area but they end up being no man’s land now because the doors open the wrong direction for the kitchen. (They were purchased years ago and years apart, once held our homeschool books.) Saying that, we both looked at the cabinets and got up and flipped them right then and there. The doors now open perfectly for the kitchen area, so I can use for some of the stuff on the counters. I am on a roll now, decluttering and organizing. Perfect nervous energy buster.

Given what I now know about bladder cancer, I would also add that to any list of concerns. Be sure to drink plenty of water and urinate often. If you hold it until it until it feels urgent or even slightly painful to hold, you have waited way too long. The bladder is the last point in our body’s filtration system and toxins can sit in the bladder and form cancer, over the long term. Firefighters and smokers are most at risk, but my DH was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer and he is neither of those. His mother did smoke while pregnant and DH grew up in a household of smokers.